AlBFine Reviews

The House That Jack Built (2018)

Funniest movie ever!!!

[10/10 · 3 January 2021]

The second time around this movie is so funny!!! Matt Dillon being an architect made me remember him in There's Something About Mary where he pretended to be one...now, years later, he is one! But he has also become insane and is killing people! It's a movie people, relax and have fun. This movie is nothing as horrific as what the world leaders are presently doing to us...

Cobra Kai (2018–2025)

How Netflix turned CobraKai into Degrassi

[3/10 · 3 January 2021]

This 3rd season SUCKS! I feel like I'm watching a season of Degrassi??? It's preachy, mild, pc all over, too many caracters, boring, boring! Gone. I quit Netflix. Maybe a good show for....who? CRAP.

South Park: Spontaneous Combustion (1999) Season 3, Episode 2

"When I come down from here...

[10/10 · 8 January 2019]

...I'm gonna kick you both right in the nuts!" Cartman is at an all time high in this episode. I love this show and re-watching it all after 18 years has passed gets me to see why I fell in love with this crazy funny un-P.C. cartoon. It really feels good to see no filters have been used here so not to hurt the tender feelings of the snowflake generation. Great episode.

Baskets (2016–2019)

Unfunny I really got Bored to Death watching this.

[4/10 · 20 July 2017]

I love Louis C.K. and Zack Galifianakis but this show is just not funny or sad or entertaining at all. It really is a big downer. It is full of pathetic people in pathetic situations with no clue and it all adds up to a big nothing. I found myself not caring about anyone in the show at all. I didn't even smile ounce during the whole first season. I don't think any of the positive reviews on here about this show are real. If you are looking for a show that will make you wanna kill yourself here it is! Where is the humour? Nothing redeemable about this show. A complete waste of time.

Fist Fight (2017)

Unfunny.

[2/10 · 16 July 2017]

The best part of this movie is after you've wasted 90 minutes of your life and $10, you come on IMDb to read all of the bad reviews for this **** movie. This movie is terrible from start to finish, there is nothing redeemable in here, not the actors or the scenario or any scene whatsoever. Ice Cube and Charlie Day were Executive Producers on this stinker so they had a big say on what was being created here, and couldn't even get it right.

What is funny about a fat old woman teacher wanting to have sex with her students? Is it because she is a woman? What is funny about a 10 year old girl singing a Big Sean song, swearing throughout it and acting like a trashy 20 year old?

Add the fact that Charlie Day is constantly screaming throughout the movie and Ice Cube plays the "angry black guy" from start to finish.

Watch this garbage of a movie just to be able to read the truly funniest reviews on here about how bad this movie is.

Nelly (2016)

Boring. Over-acting. Bad direction

[3/10 · 3 July 2017]

Boring. Over-acting. Bad direction. Lifetime quality. This is what they've done with a subject like that? It's a completely useless waste of time. 30 minutes into and nothing is happening. First off, what a terrible choice of actress. She is a 3 when Nelly was a 9. I can't even look at that actress and believe anything happening (not that there is much happening anyways). This film should have been like a punch to the face but it felt like a light wind instead. Where is the story? Where is dialogue? No story, no dialogue, nothing. Just a bunch of pretentious pseudo intellectual scenes scrambled together. Terrible movie (collage). Cringe worthy. Instead of wasting your time on this platitude watch some interviews with Nelly Arcan and read her books.

The Wire (2002–2008)

Boring man's long drawn-out cop show.

[5/10 · 6 January 2015]

I give it a 2 stars cause IMDb won't record my 1 star... But this deserves only 1 star. This is one of the most boring HBO shows I've ever watched! Watched all of season 1 and it was a yawner, parts confusing, parts ridiculous, but mostly parts who f***king cares?! At least I watched the HDTV 16:9 version and not the 4:3 crappy original SDTV version.

Things that bothered me about the show: For the longest time I thought that McNulty's name was Nick Nolte... The gay black thug that steals and tries to murder Avon, why is he still alive?!?! Why is this show focussing so much on gays & lesbians? No one on this show is remotely interesting, visually or psychologically. The "mumbo jumbo" cop talk is often confusing and way too technical. Talk about a show about nothing! Seinfeld has nothing on this show! It takes them 13 hours to tell us about a bunch of cops listening in on a bunch of low life thugs and then busting them! Law& Order shows it in 42minutes!!!

Don't believe the hype! This show is overrated!

But hey, don't take from me! Go spend your own hard earned money and time and watch it for yourself.

Or...find The Sopranos and see how it's done correctly!

The Bachelor Canada (2012– )

Cheap Canadian production, badly acted, badly scripted.

[3/10 · 28 October 2014]

I must admit that the only 2 other seasons I've watched of "The Bachelor" are the first Canadian one and the last American one with JUAN PABLO!!! And although this second season of the Canadian franchise is definitely better than the first one, it still fades in comparison with the American one. The "Bachelor" is definitely very handsome (my gf loves to watch him do whatever) but I feel like he is such a bad actor, badly "directed", and the girls he has to pick between are frumpy and frumpier. (btw, if he doesn't pick the only OBVIOUS right choice from the last 2 girls left on the show, then, the writers definitely need to get fired!) Another thing, why did it take 2 years before getting a second season? Is Tim gay? Well I could make a short video of a lot of his mannerism throughout the season, that point to him being a little effeminate. I couldn't care less if he were...except that he definitely shouldn't be, right? And you really think this guy would have ANY problem finding a wife?! Come on people, how stupid do we need to be to beLIEve in this crap?

The guy seems fake and is posing and acting all the time, and his laugh!?! Annoying.

Well, who the heck cares anyways, right? No one is probably watching anyways, and the ones that are watching are probably thinking the same thing as me.

Bad show.

Sons of Anarchy (2008–2014)

13 episodes to get to the point..

[5/10 · 22 September 2014]

I can imagine if I were a dirty rotten 13 years old and were living with my abusive drugged out parents in a trailer park, I would certainly LOVE THIS SHOW! But then again, how would I be able to watch this? Oh yeah, an illegal satellite connection!

But here I am, 43 years old.

So who is this show for?

Certainly not for me!

I've watched almost 3 seasons so far and the 3rd season is by far the MOST RIDICULOUS one yet! (but I read in season 6 someone becomes a tranny!!! omg!) Is this show meant to be a comedy? Are the guys one day gonna start dancing and singing their dialogue?

OK, I digress...

The episode where Tara and her co-worker (boss) are kept by a couple which demand $250,000, gets stolen by 2 kids on bikes (pedals), and the ATF agents and SOA members can't catch them?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? COME ON!!!! The VP's (Jacks) infant child is in Belfast, they get a dozen chances to catch "the bad guy" yet he ALWAYS gets away!?!?!? COME ON!!!!

This is by far the most CARTOONISH TV SHOW I have ever watched. I am not gonna repeat all the other PATHETIC things that other reviewers have noticed about this show, cause I would be writing all day.

I would much rather watch The Sopranos. At least, I cared for ALL OF THEIR Characters.

Not to mention THE EMOTIONLESS MONOTONE SPEAKING VOICE of "JACKS"

btw...Who the heck is Sam Crow?!?! Or is it SAMCRO!?!?!?

These guys are hardened killer bikers! Yeah right!

lmao.

Miley Cyrus: Bangerz Tour (2014 TV Special)

Missed this one LIVE in concert

[9/10 · 12 September 2014]

Miley Cyrus edited, censored and cropped...

Well I guess they filmed this to show on NBC, so all the swearing and drug references are gone.

Why would the execs think of even putting this on TV?

This show is a lot about SEX & DRUGS (hallucinations/mushrooms/weed), but they tried to clean it up and censure a lot of it out?!

Love her Bangerz album and love to see how they translated it to a live show. Pretty trippy.

Little clips of life "on the road" are town in here and there before the commercial breaks.

Definitely beats any amateur filming of the concert found on YouTube.

Just hope they'll one day get this out on BluRay 1080p or even better 4K.

Worth every minute spent watching and listening to. Especially after eating some mushrooms...

Kirstie (2013–2014)

Cancelled after 1 terrible season.

[3/10 · 3 August 2014]

I've watched most of the episodes and have NOT found ANYTHING funny in this over the top pathetic attempt to revive washed-up has-been actor's careers.

I loved Cheers & Seinfeld and was intrigued by all these actors getting together to get us laughing, but that NEVER happened.

Even the music was terrible. And the laugh track was just ridiculous, who laughs and claps hysterically at these "jokes"? Not me.

The decision to cancel it is the best decision they ever could have made.

No star power or quest stars like Travolta or Griffin or Jason Alexander (btw that episode was cringe worthy) could save this sinking ship.

There are PLENTY of TERRIBLE shows on TV already...

One less won't make much of a difference, but at least it will not ruin my love for these actors in much better roles.

They're all in their 60's...maybe it's time to stop?

Or maybe their agents should be fired.

Big Brother (III) (2000– )

Big Brother UK, Big Boredom yuk.

[1/10 · 26 July 2014]

I can't believe this show has been on for now 15 seasons!?! This show, compared to the American version (produced by the same company Andemol) is THE MOST BORING AND PATHETIC WAY TO SPEND TIME. There is NO GAME PLAY!?! NO STRATEGY!?! NO COMPETITIONS (other than for food)!?! It's just a bunch of losers talking crap about everyone else.

I can't believe the HUGE DIFFERENCE between the US version and the UK one.

What is the deal with the constant (narrator) telling of the precise time "8:14pm" 14?!? not 15?!? or this morning, this afternoon, later?!? We need the exact minute it happened? ANNOYING. And the guy speaking these times sounds completely retarded.

This is a show about being helpless. Being controlled and humiliated. Subjected to disgrace.

This has NOTHING to do with the US version where people have alliances, work together to achieve goals, lie, cheat, and are conniving and deceitful, doing it all to get to the end and win $500,000.

The UK version, people get offended if someone lies, and the British are SOOOO PRUDE!!! "Oh, *** went and showered (in her bikini) with ***!" {in his trunks) after a challenge with everyone else around them in the bathroom "Oh, next time, tell them you need privacy!" ?!?!

Too many pathetic petty little arguments. No REAL GAME PLAY. BORING AS LIVING IN A BROWN PAPER BAG IN THE MIDDLE OF AN OCEAN FULL OF ROCKS.

Topless Prophet (2014)

Strip Clubs, strippers, and t&a, what more do you need?

[6/10 · 16 June 2014]

This is the kind of show I've been waiting to find. From HBO, on Cinemax, about a strip club owner and his staff comprised of a recruiter that goes around and finds new "talent" in regular clubs, manages them, gets them ready to dance, and all the eye candy a guy (or girl) would want to see from the comfort of his home. I love strip clubs and strippers, so to me watching this is like Disney for children. I think the first 2 episodes i've watched are well done and give you a great idea of how the show is structured, first episode focuses on the flamboyant owner buying a new house (mansion) then, the 2nd episode focuses on the (pimp) recruiter and his 2 new girls that he dresses, coaches, teaches and their experience as newbies to this very profitable new job they've found. Lots of pretty naked girls, dancing and grinding, buckets full of dollar bills and a very nice half hour spent. Would love for this show to get a second and third season at different clubs all around the USA. There was a similar show here in Quebec (Canada) I think it was called "Strip Club" which went around to six different strip clubs in the province of Quebec, about 5 years ago. But this show is more interesting even though it is much more staged...

Very good new show about sexy naked girls. Thank you HBO!

The Real Housewives of Miami (2011–2024)

Season 3

[1/10 · 11 February 2014]

I am desperate to find something to watch on TV or to download online, but not desperate enough to stoop so low as to start watching crap like this. I have to admit I've watched every episode of the Kardashians and have only started being bored since the last 3 seasons (it really feels too scripted and everyone's in a bad place) but this show (The New (aka Fake) Housewives of Miami) is terrible. It is wonderful to see Miami in a TV show but the characters are all negative and just suck the spirit out of you... I understand the reviewer before me that wants Bravo off his cable cause his mother is becoming a bitch. These kinds of TV show are made to make people feel terrible about themselves focusing on problems constantly. Why waste your time watching a bunch of FREAKS with too much money, getting and giving plastic surgery to their maids (!?!?). I guess this trend to bring people down into the depths of depression and near suicide is good for the pharmaceutical companies which have their tentacles in every part of society. You who is reading this are better than this. Just stop watching this crap and read a book, go for a walk, anything is better than this pathetic excuse for entertainment. I hopefully will find something good on TV one day but this is definitely not worth another minute of my life.

The Girl Next Door (2007)

Pointless Rape of Children.

[1/10 · 29 January 2014]

First of all this movie seems like it was made in the "After School Special" style all with really cheap synthesizer music and TERRIBLE ACTING (from everyone in the movie) but mostly TERRIBLE directing (was anyone directing?)

The real horror of this movie is the FACT that this is a despicable movie. It will teach children that will watch it, (and they definitely will watch it) that gang raping a girl is fun and has barely any consequence when you are young enough.

Horrendous movie about violence against children.

This girl is tied up in a basement, raped by her cousins and beaten and burnt by her aunt, while the little boy next door (who LOVED HER) stands by and does NOTHING!?!?!?!?

What is the point of all this?

To me the point is to put these thoughts and images into children's heads so that they can grow up and accept the worst possible situation as NORMAL. Slowly and surely desensitizing them to all the wrongs of this world.

Never wrote a review about any movie ever before but this movie seems like it's aim is young children, and that's wrong.

Very bad movie about very horrible people doing horrible things with no consequence.