JohnnyKong Reviews

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

Becoming invisible and big flying eagles

[23 December 2013]

Maybe some of you out there who have read the books can explain this to me.

In the first Hobbit movie, there's a scene where the company is cornered at the edge of a cliff, so Gandalf finds this butterfly and it flies away and next thing you know, a bunch of eagles come save the day. Not only that, they fly them even closer to their destination so they don't have to walk their helpless selves over dangerous terrain.

All I could think of from thereon is: why not just take the eagle express to Erebor?? If there is some explanation in the book that might explain why the safest (or safer) and quicker option isn't taken, I'd like to hear it.

Other thing is when Bilbo is up in the dragon's lair trying to get the white stone, why not just use the awesome invisible ring to walk away with it when he sees it? I mean, it's gotten his ass out of dire situations a whole bunch of times, and when he's now faced with a fire-breathing gigantic dragon, he first wakes the dragon, then uses the ring just to hide away, and then takes it off the rest of the time. Am I missing something or do some things just neglect logic in this story??

And Soon the Darkness (2010)

Couldn't watch more than 10 minutes of this crap

[1/10 · 6 January 2011]

The plot as many has mentioned is so stupidly predictable from the very beginning. What really annoyed me though was how it stereotypes American going to developing countries and acting...well like ignorant American tourists just asking to be robbed, ridiculed, and/or raped. I mean, who in their right mind, male or female, would dress up and go to a local bar in a small, little town out in the middle of nowhere.

What gets to me most though is this very Hollywood, developed world perspective that all developing countries from Asia to South America to East Europe are dangerous places where deviants and criminals are constantly roaming around hunting and kidnapping innocent, naive American tourists. This is as far from reality as it gets. Well that's Hollywood for you and the 5.2/10 is well-deserved.

Open Water (2003)

Worst Ever. Period.

[1/10 · 14 October 2010]

This film is utter crud sauce. Worst movie I've seen in years. Absurd dialog. How long does it take before these actors start acting like they're in a desperate situation? Seven hours maybe? When they are acting desperate, it's hardly convincing and inconsistent. Also, if the point of it was to try to give viewers a feeling of being in that situation, why the heck would you zoom in and worse, do it from ABOVE your subjects? Literally the entire film, the camera is above the actors making it hard to forget the fact there's some amateur filmmaker perched up on the side of a boat. The draw of this film of the crazy situation these people are in, but it's just a sad, missed opportunity. Making a nude scene doesn't qualify you as a serious filmmaker either. What was the point of that? Absolutely not recommended.