pagemaster7 Reviews

The Boogeyman (I) (2023)

Another Stephen King in name only

[3/10 · 12 October 2023]

Stephen King has had more of a few of his works set to film using only his name with the film baring little to no resemblance to his work, the lawnmower man literally had nothing to do with his story other than their was a landscaper, the boogyman uses the title and about 2 minutes of screen time devoted to the story, the remainder is a badly done family melodrama with a below average monster. Throw in the silly final battle pulled straight from a bad 80's horror film and you have this, it's a ok movie for a young teen girls sleepover but that's about it. It is a shame considering the short story is chilling from the first word to the last.

The Last of Us (2023– )

I'm shocked a show from a video game can be this good

[8/10 · 6 March 2023]

I'm not a gamer by any means, but my son is, so last of us is a game I saw him playing that looked interesting, so I played it years ago. When I heard they were making a show I thought it would turn out like most video game movies, at best case it would be watchable, fun, and forgettable. I was very wrong, they kept everything that was good about the game, in all fairness the game was pretty well written, but they have added layer on top of layer of plot and incredibly interesting characters. Combine that with some very scary zombies, good tension and it's a winner. This is far more than your average zombie outing. My wife hates just about anything related to horror(except the conjuring series for some reason), but she will watch this, and deep down in a place she won't admit probably likes it.

Creepshow (2019– )

Subscribed to Shudder after season 1, cancelled in Season 3

[6/10 · 6 March 2023]

Saw an episode of season 1 and liked it so I subscribed to Shudder, then season 2 wasn't nearly as good but had its moments, Season 3 was painful to watch. The acting was never stellar but season 3 hit a new low in that regard for the series, but more importantly the stories just became simply not entertaining. It's fairly obvious they let a personal agenda take over the stories, and usually when that occurs it becomes more mockable than anything else. It's sad because I'm a fan of horror anthologies, and they ran this straight into the ground. I recommend season 1, recommend season 2 but it's more hit and miss, and season 3 is as enjoyable as the latest Twilight Zone.

Upgrade (2018)

The best sci-fi action movie in sometime

[9/10 · 17 February 2023]

First the movie is referred to as low budget, it certainly didn't look it. The effects were extremely good to the point where I didn't question in my mind they were effects. The movie is like a blend of blade runner and terminator, while adding it's own original spin. It's ultra violent, intelligent, with rarely a dull moment. Upgrade is that rare film that presents thought provoking questions while at the same time is a nonstop thrill ride, it succeeds as both a fun sci-fi action film and a film that presents questions about where technology may lead mankind, and if we control the devices we create or if they control us. For the gore sensitive this may not be the movie for you, but if your not squeamish this is a great choice to spend your time.

Halloween Ends (2022)

Worse than I thought it could possibly be

[2/10 · 11 February 2023]

Halloween ends makes Jason goes to hell seem much better in comparison. I had heard almost universal bad reviews on Halloween Ends, and thought it can't be that bad. The opening 5 minutes are pretty interesting, then we have cut scenes from the previous Halloween movies for a few minutes like a sequel straight from the eighties. We are then treated to 40 minutes of nothing happening other than terrible dialogue. Once the story begins to unfold it gets even worse, the bad dialogue pales in comparison to the nonsensical and just awful storyline. It's like they saw Jason goes to hell and thought what a great story, we will just use it and combine it with Halloween resurrection.

Hunters (2020–2023)

A show with multi personality disorder

[2/10 · 11 February 2023]

I only made it through a few episodes, I haven't done anything in my life bad enough to deserve have to watch any more. This is just bad on so many levels. I didn't know anything about it when I made the terrible decision to push the play icon. At first I thought ok it's a comedy, a badly written one but a comedy nevertheless. Then it seemed like it would become a comic book live action, then it tried to become a serious drama with social commentary(ridiculous social commentary at that). The acting simply isn't good, when you think to yourself they are acting it's because they are terrible at it. The writing isn't good, and the story might work as a spoof but fails miserably here. Such a waste of time.

Mayor of Kingstown (2021– )

The pace of a action movie in a drama

[8/10 · 28 January 2023]

It's a good show, I've enjoyed it. If your looking for the character building of a normal drama look elsewhere, these characters are pretty much set in who they are, and the pace is that of a Bourne film or 24, which results in a entertaining series. The characters rarely if ever have a dull day, but in the end the pace the show has set for itself simply can't sustain without becoming dull. So while I enjoyed the first season I can see this running itself into the ground creating constant frenetic scenes in the future, I don't see it becoming long lived without a change of pace. For now very entertaining.

The Menu (2022)

It's hard to relate to a movie when you can't relate to anyone in it

[6/10 · 11 January 2023]

It may be just the circles I find myself in, but even with my rather low opinion of the most pretentious amount us, I simply can't relate to anyone in the film. Yes I get the satire, but pretension on top of even greater pretension was just tiring. I enjoyed the first half very much, it was tense and ominous, in a very good way. Once the plot was revealed every character became a overblown cartoon version of everyone in society that most people despise, but for the sake of satire they stop acting like people and make decisions that make the choices in a B slasher film look reasonable. I understand it was on purpose, but it just turned the film from intense to meandering in a split second. Not a bad film but not particularly good either.

Tulsa King (2022– )

Stallone should have played a mob capo sooner

[9/10 · 28 December 2022]

I've always liked Stallone, over the years, yes he's sequel addicted but has made some really enjoyable films scattering a few classics along the way. In Tulsa King could very well be his best work just from a acting perspective, he's just stone cold nailing the role of a mafia capo. The series itself has a interesting story, it's well written taking full advantage of the humor of a New York mobster in Tulsa Oklahoma without becoming silly at all, throw in a healthy dose of violence, good writing and dialogue, and a great cast of supporting actors and characters and they have a winner. Fun to watch, well worth a look.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

After years of so so movies this was better than I could have hoped

[9/10 · 28 December 2022]

I love movies, I really do. I've been a film fan since middle school, love most genres. I don't believe you can judge most films outside of there given genre, it's just not fair. For example I have Maverick a 9, but Godfather and Casablanca a 10, is there only 1 star difference? No, the previously mentioned two are much better, but they are films that transcend their own genres and to me go onto a different tier. Maverick isn't on that tier, but it's the best fighter jet movie by far I've every seen, and a excellent overall action film. Tom Cruise just plays his natural personality as usual but does it well, the supporting cast is excellent, the story has a major plot hole but it had to be there, I'm sorry with the day of guided missile and smart bomb here that can strike anywhere including underground the days of the suicide bombing run are pretty much over. That being said if you accept the plot for what it is it works. The flight scenes are astonishing, and it was a great walk off home run for most of the original cast.

American Horror Story (2011– )

Seasons range from outstanding to unwatchable

[6/10 · 24 December 2022]

The seasons are stand alone for the most part with the exception of season 8, so if your curious you can watch any season and not be lost. It's confounding how good and bad each season can get honestly, and this is coming from a horror and film fan. My mini reviews ranking in order from best to worst for the seasons I have seen:

Season 1 Murder House - Simply outstanding. Scary, darkly funny, shocking, well written, a strong 9.

Season 3 Coven - Another strong as death entry, be warned extremely violent and gory(well they all are but this one was more grisly than usual). Well written, incredible characters, scary, a strong 8.

Season 9 1984 - Slasher heaven, good horror using a thin story. But perfect for the slasher theme, gory and scary not bad at all, a solid 7.

Season 2 Asylum - This is a really hard one. I generally didn't like it, but it had some truly great episodes. The problem is there is way to much going on. You have about 4 different villains and threats of drastically different types all fighting for screen time, which just turns into a mess. One the bright side you have a terrifying nun, and some great scares sometimes, just in desperate need of some severe editing, a 6.

Season 8 Apocalypse- A weak season really but it did one thing really well, it tied seasons 1 and 3 together, and had some great episodes. It just didn't seem to have the energy of the others ahead of it, a 5.

Season 6 Roanoke - Probably the most pedestrian season, this is a story that has been told before, and everyone involved just seemed bored, watchable at best, 4.

Season 4 Freak Show - If the goal was to make everyone feel uncomfortable every episode then it's a success, I hated it. Not scary just uncomfortable, but the performances were good as usual, and the characters somewhat interesting at Tim's, a 3 on a good day.

Season 5 Hotel - From uncomfortable to just boring, there is very little I can say good about this season other than Lady Gaga wasn't terrible, but the season was, a 1 being generous.

Season 7 Cult - From boring to just stupid, politics aside(which is hard with this considering the is the political commentary equivalent of a hissy fit) this was just unwatchable. The story is ridiculous, the writing frantic and not in a good way. The characters incredibly annoying, and just not any fun to watch while at the same time being devoid of anything that resembles reason, a low 1.

Overlord (2018)

The dullest zombie movie in years.

[3/10 · 24 December 2022]

First I'm a horror fan(as well as being a devoted movie lover of most categories). I've seen a great deal of horror movies, and a good number of Nazi Zombie/ Nazi experiment horror films, and this is one of the worst. The only recent film I would rank lower of a similar nature would be warhunt which doubles as a cure for insomnia. The zombies are the least scary of any zombies in recent memory, the film never has a ounce of dread, it takes itself to seriously to be a schlock fest, and the story just meanders along with bad dialogue. If your in the mood for Nazi zombies please see Shock waves, if your in the mood for a Nazi zombie Schlock fest see Dead Snow 1&2. The only thing I can say good about Overlord is the first few minutes of the airplane scene wasn't terrible.

Smile (V) (2022)

It borrows heavily from a few films but still a fun horror film

[7/10 · 17 November 2022]

Yes it borrows from a few other horror films, yes it really isn't original, but it's well done and a fun watch. I try to enjoy a movie without expecting the Godfather every time, and this movie made it easy. The camera work is good, better than you see in allot of films, and the sound design might be a little heavy handed but very effective. The only time this movie really falters is trying to get deep at the wrong times, once you go down the path of making a popcorn flick trying to make you jump just go with it, the ship on self examination has pretty much already sailed. If you go in just expecting a fun horror film it will greatly enhance your experience, well worth a watch if your in the horror mood.

Barbarian (2022)

Great first 30 minutes, wish I would have turned it off then

[3/10 · 17 November 2022]

First 30 minutes intense and suspenseful, then a massive left turn into stupidity. The first third the characters seem real and actually make reasonable but debatable choices, the second 2/3's enter a comic actor and every ridiculous choice imaginable. It really is a waste of such a great beginning, then the acting went south and the story with it. By the end of course at least one character has to go into intense self examination while of course in mortal danger, because it's perfectly natural at least in Hollywood it seems to have a inner debate while someone is trying to kill you. By the end the performances and the story reached ludicrous speed, then mercifully the movie ended.

Carrie (1976)

Completely changed my mind seeing it again 30 years later

[9/10 · 1 November 2022]

I saw this for the first time in high school 30 years ago. At the time I thought it was just ok, nothing special, and I couldn't have been more wrong. I kept seeing it over the the years on lists of the greatest horror films and didn't understand why, lately I've been on a kick of rewatching films that have great ratings but I didn't like, just to see if I missed something. In this case I surely did, the direction is extremely good with camera angles that really add to the suspense and horror, Spacek is incredibly good as Carrie(the entire cast was good as well, but she was just outstanding), and the story is just plain scary. Being young the first time I saw it I completely missed the fact how horrifying this movie is on multiple levels, from the religious fanatic mother to the unbearable bullying she endured. I think 30 years ago I was more interested in just seeing displays of her telekinesis, and completely ignored that the horror in the film begin with the first scene and doesn't stop. Even with its high rating I actually consider this film underrated.

A Quiet Place (2018)

A example of can the positives outweigh the negatives

[8/10 · 1 November 2022]

There was a 9 or a 10 star movie in this, but it's a case of can you overlook the negatives. The positives: the monsters are flat good, I would say the third best movie monsters behind Alien and the tomorrow war. A number of great intense and scary scenes. Good acting, dialogue, and directing. Excellent special effects. Negatives: just one but a big one, plot holes and logic gaps big enough to drive trucks through. Even with the illogical plot issues the movie is still thrilling and fun, and if your able to crank up your level of suspension of disbelief you will enjoy it, if you try to rationalize the plot while watching the experience is much less enjoyable. It is a great turn off your brain and enjoy movie, but with a few story changes it could have been something special, even as is this film oozes directing talent.

Get Out (I) (2017)

Politics aside this is just a good film

[8/10 · 31 October 2022]

This film is simply good on so many levels. I personally would normally disagree with the film's political issues, but the political issues raised don't try to batter its audience with ridiculous left statements of fact but rather presents a viewpoint different than mine, while I vehemently disagree with the logic in the theories I can't deny it's how some people feel, and in this case the horror aspects of the film are more than enough to overcome a case of being preachy, besides unlike his other works he presents the social issues in a way that might a actual cause a discussion verses a pointless political fight, a soft hand that sadly he will later lose with other films. As far as the film it really works as a great horror movie. The writer creates a outstanding sense of dread in every scene, the story is tight and horrifying, and it's directed in a style which would have made Hitchcock proud. The camera work is excellent, there were so many shots that used the camera to just add to the sense of doom. The acting is spot on, and the level of talent behind the camera is clearly evident. I don't like spoilers in reviews so I will just say the film borrowed from a certain horror film from the 70's, but then turns it into a story all their own.

Bite Size Halloween (2020– )

The first two seasons I enjoyed, the third is garbage

[2/10 · 26 October 2022]

I enjoyed the first two seasons for the most part, it was of course hit and miss but the shorts were usually fun. I watched the first 3 episodes of the third season, and they don't seem to be trying to entertain, it has turned into a contest on who can be the most politically ridiculous. I'm not over sensitive to political messages, but when they are this obvious not to mention ridiculous it's no longer something I will watch. Political idiocy aside it's really lazy writing, and neither scary or remotely entertaining. It really is a shame besides the rating issue which I would guess would go into steep decline there probably are allot of good young horror writers and filmmakers that could have used a shot.

Bloodline (III) (2018)

Overcomes a low budget with a good story and acting

[6/10 · 23 October 2022]

The movie was obviously on a tight budget but they made the most of every cent. They first had to overcome a casting decision, to see the lead as anything but stiffler from American pie was a challenge, it's just one of those roles that makes it hard to see you as anything else, but he pulled it off. The acting for the most part is very good, if I can make it through a film without thinking they are indeed acting it's a win, so mission accomplished. The story is interesting, the description is a little inaccurate saying it's a vigilante film, it's really not, he's a pure serial killer in the vein of Dexter. The story takes a few twists, and overall the writing is good. This is a slow paced film, and the intensity level is fairly low, it feels more like a clinical examination. I found it interesting and entertaining. Just a note, this movie is gory for those who care, so if gore offends you it might be a movie to skip, I will say the gore isn't for gores sake, and from a horror perspective the gore effects are old school and very well done, just not for everyone. Overall well worth a watch if your a fan of the genre.

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Not my kind of movie but my wife made me watch it

[6/10 · 10 October 2022]

I normally wouldn't watch this but against my will my better half insisted. The movie itself is fairly well done. The story is a traditional Halloween style witch story told in a playful way complete with musical numbers. It's well acted for the most part, and would probably be a fun movie for a family Halloween night with younger kids. Personally I really hope I never have to watch it again, but this falls directly into the category of I didn't care for it but I can see the appeal to other viewers, it has good production values and the cast, and even though it wasn't my choice I was still entertained.

Terrifier 2 (2022)

Gallons of red Karo syrup doth not a movie make

[3/10 · 10 October 2022]

I usually give horror films allot of latitude because I love the genre for the most part, but there are endless fan films all over the net that are infinitely better than this. I think why I wrote a review on a movie I would generally just avoid is that it was made to cater to a very specific subset of the horror audience, and they didn't put very much effort into it. My son liked it but he's 17, yes it was his turn to pick. I think about 200k of the 250k budget was spent on fake blood and the cleanup of said fake blood, if I have to say a positive the gore effect work was decent to good. The rest is expected, there isn't a story, the acting is comparable with a middle school play, and the last 20 minutes just slips into the bizarre nonsensical. I realize that most of the people who actually see it will be fans, for anyone else just save a few hours and watch something else.

Candyman (2021)

Normally there is something I can find good about a movie

[1/10 · 8 October 2022]

I'm a film fan, so it's hard for me to watch a movie and not find something I liked, one scene, a good line, something. In the Candyman remake I can't point to a single thing, the only reason I finished it was because my son wanted to make it through the whole movie. The original Candyman with its flaws was a good horror film that was deeper than it's given credit for. This film becomes a self parody for trying to be deep but presenting stereotype arguments that are in themselves devoid of deep thought. The writing is terrible, dialogue is laughable in all the wrong moments, the camera work sucks all of the intensity and horror out of every scene, and the movie is just annoyingly preachy in the most ridiculous ways possible. Just from a horror aspect the kills scenes are just boring, they try to keep the Candyman a mystery but in doing so you only get a third person view of badly done horror.

Hellraiser (2022)

It was watchable if your desperate for a horror movie

[6/10 · 8 October 2022]

After 6 consecutive sequels that got progressively worse I wasn't expecting very much, but to me this would be the fourth best of the series, but that is a very low bar. The positives: the cgi was decent, the new pinhead and her assistants are actually pretty good, and the acting was above average for what it is. The cons: completely lacks anything that resembles intensity, plot holes as deep as the void, bogs down badly in the middle, and it's very dark(dark as in very little light, allot of the movie is obscured, very much like Alien vs Predator Requiem), and very little went into set design. All in all it's at least entertaining for the most part. The story pretty much throws out most of the existing Hellraiser lore and starts over, and while whoever played pinheaded was pretty good she still couldn't achieve the same feeling of power Doug Bradley brought. There is nothing really scary in the movie, the whole film just seems detached. My wife literally got up screaming 30 minutes into the collector and refused to finish, in this Hellraiser she didn't even flinch. It's bloody but not overly so, by Hellraiser standards it's pretty tame. If your a horror fan it's worth a watch if you have two hours to waste, if you don't like horror films you will probably really hate this movie.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

The Airplane of horror comedies

[9/10 · 7 October 2022]

I don't really consider this to be a horror comedy but a comedy of horror movies. As a comedy it's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen, and I would guess it's even funnier to those who appreciate horror films. I don't consider it a horror comedy because this movie doesn't try to be scary like for example Evil Dead 2, which is one of the few horror films in my opinion that succeeded in being funny and scary at the same time. Tucker and Dale is just straight up laugh until it hurts, with about 4 scenes I still laugh just thinking about them. If you hate horror you might not be able to get past the gore(yes it's gory), but for those who appreciate the genre this is a not to be missed movie, and best viewed with as many friends as you can get to come over.

The Babadook (2014)

I keep seeing this on lists of great horror films

[5/10 · 7 October 2022]

I really didn't like this movie, even though I can appreciate some things about it. The positives: it is well written, it's well directed and filmed, and the story is interesting genuinely scary. The only real con I can say is one I just can't get around, the kid in the movie completely destroyed my last nerve and was just annoying. The kid was so annoying I spent allot of time in the film just wishing he would shut up. Evidently allot of people thought it added to the movies intensity, it had the opposite affect on me. So while I can appreciate how some could see this as a good horror film, for me it's one I wouldn't watch again.