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chris-m-tew
Reviews
The Matrix (1999)
Good food for thought for the oxygen starved pseudo-intellectuals out there
It was truly bizarre seeing millions of stupid people who literally disliked intellectual pursuits suddenly become enlightened geniuses practically overnight...
This film had an immense effect on the population and it should be remembered for that, not for being a good film, which it is not.
The plot: Let me see... Have you ever heard of a thing called history? Yes, it is a bunch of things that have already happened ,things in history are already "old hat". This film takes one of the most basic ideas from history, the idea that what we perceive as reality might not actually be what we think it is. Yeah, that's deep, right? Yes, kind of deep but not too deep, we don't want to scare anyone off now do we? This film takes this idea and runs with it, it is the whole film, without it it would just be a bunch of bondage enthusiasts running around like weirdos. It takes something that is already a major cliché and beats it so hard into the ground that it comes out in China and even they don't want it because they practically invented it to begin with! This old, yawn-inducing idea from ancient history is portrayed as cutting edge thought that the Wankoffski brothers came up with because they are mad geniuses and the whole aim of the film is to make the viewer buy more of their films by making the viewer feel like an intellectual.
The acting: Have you ever seen what happens when people pat each other on the back so much that nobody stops to say "Hey! Wait a minute, this is ridiculous!"? Well that is what Hollywood is missing, that guy to tell people where the line is drawn. This film is ridiculous, along with the boring old "deep" plot (with aliens!!!) the actors are like a bunch of coke-heads running around practically ejaculating on each other the whole time. It is scary stuff but it is what millions of people expect to see. Are these millions of people intelligent, tasteful people? No, they are not but they are who this film is for. The grunts, the social whores, the mind numbing dinner guest who only talks about cars, the McDonald's employee who HASN'T got a college education... Nobody else could take this acting seriously.
The special effects: Wow, when this film came out the effects were amazing and even though it is void of any merit outside of the effects, they should be remembered for being very impressive. It's just a shame that there wasn't a single scene where these effects weren't rammed down your throat, making you choke on them. This could have been to distract the feeble-minded from the other points above.
Well, there's my "review", I loathe this film and I loathe even more the pseudo-intellectuals it created out of millions of complete and utter morons. How so many people can have so little to say and to say it so loudly is just staggering... I give it 3/10.
Begin Japanology (2007)
Absolutely fascinating and a joy to watch
This is a weekly documentary which covers a different topic about Japans culture and history each week. Presented and narrated by Peter Barakan, every episode is full of information and delves deep into every nook and cranny (or as much as it can do in 30 minutes) of the subject matter. Not only is it informative but it is also very engaging and I found myself drinking less cups of tea because I would rather wait until it had finished than pause it. It is one of the best documentary series I have seen in a long time, so if you have any interest in Japan and its culture then you owe it to yourself to check it out. 10/10
Tales of the Unexpected: Mr Botibol's First Love (1980)
I disagree with the other guy...
It isn't dreadful, I found it quite charming. It deals with the dreamer in all of us, have you ever dreamt of being a bird and flying over mountains full of freedom and ecstasy? This is what this episode is about, it is better than some episodes but not the best. I thought it was entertaining and Jack Weston gave a very decent and likable performance that reminded me of how easy it is in life to let your dreams escape you and to not realise the full potential of your own abilities. Perhaps it is because most viewers of this programme are a lot older than I am but as a 28 year old I find that the only episodes I don't really enjoy are the ones with Joan Collins in, she gives me the creeps.
All of Me (1984)
Dire unoriginal tripe that only a mother could love...
So Steve Martin is funny? Not in this film he isn't. Nobody is funny in this except the dog (the sole reason I gave this 5 stars instead of 3). It just lacks any kind of entertaining value, it is an utter cliché from the first opening sequence (great guitar solo Steve! I'm kidding...). It doesn't even seem to be making a joke about being a cliché, it is just awful. I fell asleep 3 (three) times trying to watch this film and in the end I just gave up because it was going nowhere fast. Avoid this hiccup in Steve Martin's career like the plague that it is. You get the impression that nobody knew what they were doing while making this as the direction doesn't seem to have any idea of where it is going or any sense of the viewer at all. It just bumbles along, minding its own business until it happens to stumble (umble umble) into a plot point. And WHAT A PLOT! This film should never have been made, it adds nothing to cinema history apart from a stain on the carpet.