sanjsrik Reviews

The Bricklayer (2023)

I made it through 7 minutes, that's all this should have been allowed

[2/10 · 13 January 2024]

This is bad.

Good actors looking smug saying dumb lines.

The cinematography feels like something out of a C-rated movie. It's just bad. There's no plot that you'd care about. EVERY actor is smug and smirking their lines, no one seems to really care about the movie.

Why did they make this?

Did Aaron Eckhart need a paycheck?

Did the producer have some money to launder?

Did the other actors lose a gambling bet?

I don't see a single valid reason this stinker was made. I mean if it was to make you appreciate what good movies are then, sure, by contrast, this was NOT a good movie so now I have a better understanding of what a BAD movie is by watching 7 minutes of this one.

Well, 7 minutes and 20 seconds before I just had to stop watching.

I wonder who made it further to really think this was worth the time suck?

Dumb Money (2023)

Imagine watching a movie about awful people on both sides?

[1/10 · 8 November 2023]

This is a crap movie.

It's a crap movie about crap people.

There's no redeeming characters on either side of this equation and this movie was made in exactly their image.

There isn't a single thing to like about this film from the score (which tries too hard to be current but is out of date the moment it was made), to shocking (again, so over the top that it's just laughable), to awful characters and characterizations that you get the undying urge to shower WHILE watching this movie to get the stench off of you.

NOTHING about this movie is good. Probably because it's not about the little guy versus the big guy, it's about greed versus greed.

The Ritual Killer (2023)

Bad movie. Bad idea. Just bad

[1/10 · 13 August 2023]

Was Morgan Freeman hard up for money? Is there a point as to why this movie was made? Is there an actual point to this entire thing? See, if the director has asked even one of those questions, then he'd have NEVER made this absolutely awful piece of drivel. There's no point in getting into the plot, there isn't one. Why why why why? Just why? Morgan did you need to do a movie so bad that you WANTED us to question why your sanity was on lapse when you agreed to make this crap.

Since I'm required to use just enough words to have this count as a review, I'll add a bit more...

This movie is the equivalent of someone holding a gun in their own mouth and threatening to pull the trigger if you don't watch it. It's just that bad.

A Most Wanted Man (2014)

Imagine a good script ruined by bad acting

[2/10 · 21 July 2023]

Take a lot of american actors, make them take on nebulous bad accents, except for the one who used to be really beautiful and now looks like she has been and out of rehab more times than a corner junkie, and roll that up to the seediest locations in Germany, and you've got the entire unwatchable movie that is A Most Wanted Man.

Yes, everyone keeps pointing out that that this is Hoffman's last movie, and? Seriously, his accent is awful, his acting is just bad, and he seems drunk most of the movie. I've seen lecarre adaptations before and this was just not a good one. All the actors wander around the movie wondering what they're supposed to be doing next and stare dumbly at one another hoping someone tells them why they're saying their lines.

Nothing in this movie is good, all of it is forced and overall, the BBC could have done it better.

Sorry Hoffman is gone, this shouldn't have been his swan song.

Silo (2023– )

At what point does anything actually happen?

[1/10 · 7 June 2023]

This is one of those shows that you hope has some legs. It doesn't. It meanders along telling you stories about people and characters you don't care about. There's NOTHING in their stories that you need to care about. There's literally ONE mystery in here that needs to be solved, why are they living in a silo? That's it. Nothing more. Yet, that doesn't seem to be even the focus of the story.

It's beyond moronic that they literally meander around about everything else BUT this one point. The first few episodes address this and then voila, nothing. You're left with some stupid sub-plots that have nothing to do with anything.

No, this review doesn't contain spoilers because honestly no one could give a crap about this boring, meandering drivel after 2 episodes who has a pulse and any attention span and an ounce of self-respect.

I hope the cast was paid up front for this.

Lucky Hank (2023)

Pettiness with big words

[3/10 · 29 April 2023]

Imagine sitting around a table and listening to petty people make petty conversation about petty topics that only they care about? It's literally the Woody Allen joke about intellectuals are like sharks who only eat their own.

This is a petty show with petty people all being petty. There's no real plot except how awful they are to each other.

This is literally any teen angst drama except for those who have kids and a mortgage and a job.

None of the characters rise above a single dimension.

Did Bob Odenkirk just need a job after the Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul franchise fizzled out? It was painful to watch this with him literally just being angry guy who whines all the time character.

That's it, he just is angry, with a ton of angst, a beard that needs trimming, and a more pettiness to set the tone for the rest of the cast.

You could watch ANY teen drama and see the same thing except you wouldn't be so bored and have nicer people to look at while doing it.

This show does the one thing that a thinking show could do but doesn't. It could be interesting, instead It bores you.

It's just boring.

Leave No Trace (2018)

It makes a difference who you call home

[10/10 · 28 February 2023]

There's a line where Tom is asked where is your home? Her response is the entire point of this movie, "with my dad".

There's points in this movie that seem too intimate for words as though you're not watching a movie but instead being invited along for their life.

The movie doesn't have pyrotechnics, nor robots or anything else that seems to be what Hollywood thinks blockbusters should have. This movie is just that much better exactly because of that fact.

There's so much right with this movie that it's difficult to fault it for anything wrong. It's poignant and brilliant and you can feel the anxiety and love and incredible warmth of the characters. You are invited into their lives simply because they don't have any guile and aren't trying to snow you.

Watch it. It's worth your time.

A Girl and an Astronaut (2023)

This is so bad even Netflix doesn't put it in the new releases section.

[1/10 · 17 February 2023]

Oh, where to begin. In 2022, fighter pilots drive sports cars with cassette tape players.

In 2054 (or whatever date in the future), people are still smoking.

The main character's daughter has the stupidest piercing on her front lip.

The female characters in 2022, all seem stuck in a twiggy video where they wear sparkly face makeup from the 70s.

This is as if someone wanted to make a sci-fi show but then got distracted by trying to be a caricature of what a sci-fi show should be.

The acting is wooden and bad. The plot makes you seriously not care about what could be an interesting plot but it's not because it's bogged down by bad acting and even worse special effects.

Rather than playing up the sci-fi aspect of the show, they throw off the cool stuff to make it not even cool.

This is what bad sci-fi looks like when it's done by amateurs.

Treason (2022)

How? Just seriously how did this garbage get on Netflix?

[2/10 · 2 January 2023]

So, there will be spoilers, but the biggest spoiler in this review is you're about to waste a lot time if you watch this muck.

The new HEAD OF MI6 apparently has no oversight. In one episode he has guards surrounding his house, LITERALLY, the next scene he's walking around London meeting with spies. Since when does the HEAD of a spy agency meet with spies and not have an escort?

The man's wife can record not JUST HIS CONVERSATION on a telephone with a PEN MIC but also the OTHER SIDE'S CONVERSATION??? HOW?? FROM ALMOST 20 FEET AWAY BY HOLDING IT UP OUT OF A WINDOW AND THE RECORDING IS COMPLETELY CLEAR???

I swear that's just in the first episode.

The writing and the plot are JUST SO BAD.

The characters are so wooden and predictable.

The story is as if it was a college final project.

Don't waste your time. This is just bad.

East New York (2022–2023)

This is what NYC is like, just without really bad wooden acting

[2/10 · 10 October 2022]

The plot is good(ish). All the stereotype elements are there, all the plot characteristics are there, all the actors showed up on set, and then... everyone decided to "act" like they're on a crime show and "act".

The acting is just plain terrible. Every single actor, ESPECIALLY JIMMY SMITS, ACTS like they're in a cop drama. Everyone is posing for the camera every second, everyone is stiff and wooden and the plot muddles along despite the acting. I was able to make it through the first episode but seriously, it took a lot of effort not to just guess what was going to happen because this is television and everything needs to have a resolution.

What's the point of making something with "locations" if the camera jerks around and "catches" various elements of the background for nothing more than to make sure you know you're in Brooklyn?

BTW, I've NEVER seen a dollar van that clean.

Uncharted (2022)

Is Wahlberg out to join the Bruce Willis bad movie club?

[1/10 · 8 August 2022]

There must have been a point. If you wait long enough, I'm sure you'd find it, but, like the treasure hunt that this movie is all about, by the time you find out what the point is, you won't care.

This is burning, unfunny, uninteresting, and overall a complete waste of anyone's time.

The Gray Man (2022)

What happens when you base a movie on an actor who can't act

[1/10 · 29 July 2022]

There is so much wrong with this movie:

* bad lines * bad acting * boring and confusingly shot "action sequences" * really bad plot * really tired plot * really really smug lead actor who only can say lines one way * locales that aren't used effectively

NOTHING in this movie gels. It just relies on Gosling being the main attraction and the producers and director hoping you don't notice that it's just a really bad movie.

Is there a sub-plot, are there three? Do you care?

10 minutes into the movie I wanted all of them to just take their toys and go home.

It's just boring.

The Card Counter (2021)

What was the actual point of this movie?

[1/10 · 21 July 2022]

It was boring, sad, unintelligible, uninteresting, and just plain stupid.

There were so many good ideas in this movie and yet the director chose to ignore anything worthwhile and made this garbage instead.

What was the point?

Did the director just have bills to cover?

I'd put any spoilers but seriously why? It's a garbage movie.

Brooklyn's Finest (2009)

Was there an actual plot in this movie?

[1/10 · 25 May 2022]

Locations make no sense.

Plot makes even less sense.

This was a bunch of good actors running around the city streets pretending as though the lines they were saying had any way of stringing them together.

Disjointed nonsense.

Devils (2020– )

Does anyone who knows anything about finance actually write any part of the script?

[1/10 · 14 May 2022]

It's boring. It tries not to be boring. It tries to be mysterious and daunting or whatever other adjectives you want to use, but it's just. Plain. Boring.

There's far too much wink-wink-nudge-nudge, look at us, we're good looking "traders" who dress up in $1000 suits to sit on our asses all day in front of computer screens smugness going on.

It's. Just. Plain. Boring.

Seriously, it's really boring. The plot goes off the rails within the first 10 minutes of the first episode and never makes sense enough for anyone to care to stick around to find out what is happening.

Don't lose the audience immediately with too many "inside" plots. We're not going to care to remember. Give us an actual backstory without dropping us in the middle of the ocean and expecting us to tread water while you get on with it.

It's. Just. Plain. Boring.

Butterflies (1978–1983)

BBC by Pinter

[7/10 · 3 May 2022]

Imagine the dialog from a pinter play, the awkwardness that only the English can deliver, and the lilt of a series from the 70s.

There's butterflies. Just like all the other shows made about this time, off quirky characters, strange upbeat show about absolutely nothing. Nothing to threaten your sense of purpose or well-being. All, perfectly, happy, and "normal" (ish).

The Batman (2022)

Watch this for a great way to fall asleep

[1/10 · 24 April 2022]

This should be shown to all insomniacs. Boring would be a step up in the world.

There is a plot, but everyone is overacting and trying really hard to pretend they're not a cartoon character in a live-action movie that they all sound like cartoon characters in a live-action movie.

This. Is. Just. Bad.

Maniac (2018)

Bad plot, bad writing, pointless story

[1/10 · 19 April 2022]

All these reviews that claim it was so wonderful and amazing, are they doing it because there's just nothing out there to watch or because some big name stars signed on to this turkey?

If you're looking for a plot forget it.

If you're looking for NOT campy acting, forget it.

If you're looking for something that is in ANY WAY interesting, forget it.

This thing was an assault on the viewers for the 10 episodes in which it existed. The only thing maniacal about this series was that it was made and assaulted the viewer. The actors and crew should be arrested for making bad TV.

61st Street (2022– )

Stereotype, meet your script

[1/10 · 17 April 2022]

Overworked public defender with a sob story... check Inner-city kid with a full ride scholarship (for sports), wrong place, wrong time... check Dirty Chicago cops... check All the world is bad because (check most stereotypical thing you can think of, oh, yeah, inner city) script needs it to be... check Judges and justice system who don't care... check

If there was a way to write something COMPLETELY true-to-form for EVERY SINGLE STEREOTYPE, this script accomplished it.

Just the first episode is enough to tell you EXACTLY how this will play out. It's just bad and boring because you KNOW what and how each of the characters will be and how they'll play their roles in this "drama".

Save yourself some time and go watch an even worse show like any latest Law and Order.

Dystopia (2021– )

I suffered through the first episode so you wouldn't have to

[1/10 · 4 April 2022]

This is bad.

I mean, just bad.

You know how some tv shows mimic bad shows as a gimmick? This one pretends or thinks it's good and instead, it's just REALLY bad. I mean really bad. Just bad. For emphasis, let me reiterate that this is bad.

The characters you wish would die off sooner. The plot, no, sorry, I have no idea what that is in this show. The sets, you know how it's set in the middle of the forest in an old whatever (yes, I stopped caring as well), you won't care either.

I did you a favor, don't watch this.

Star Trek: Picard (2020–2023)

Season 1 was barely watchable, season 2 is just an insult

[1/10 · 27 March 2022]

There's no point in spoilers for this. It's just really really really really really really bad.

You know when a company needs to milk a franchise because it needs to justify buying a show. That's what picard is. Paramount must have paid a TON of money for this and decided to make convoluted, stupid, insipid, dumb, just really stupid plots and then throw in even worse special effects into the mix and say, "hey, it's a "new franchise"".

No, what this is is just really really really really really stupidly bad.

I mean really stupidly bad.

I wanted this to be good but after STRUGGLING to get through season 1, season 2 is just worse.

Timelines, idiotic recasting of old plots because you know, you don't have any new or original ideas left.

Did the "writers" of this turkey series simply just throw a bunch of darts at a board and think hey, it's a character we can "work in" to a series? That's EXACTLY how this plays.

Just save yourself a lot of time and DO NOT WATCH THIS MONSTROSITY.

It's just really really really really really really really really really really bad.

See, you can say something is utter garbage without spoilers.

The Adam Project (2022)

Did Ryan Reynolds have a debt to pay off? Lose a bet?

[2/10 · 19 March 2022]

There has to be a point to a movie that doesn't end as badly as it began. The beginning of this movie was abrupt like if you walked into a conversation between two people and only heard the last word said by one of them.

The ending, no spoilers, because honestly, if you're dumb enough to watch this, you deserve to know how it (predictably) ends.

I won't even get into the the really bad soundtrack that is completely irrelevant to the plot or action on screen. It's as if someone said let's put all the 80s and 90s music we can in a movie for the boomers who just want a mixed tape.

This is just utterly bad. Free Guy was fun and ingenious. This is just stupid and makes your brain hurt.

The only reason Ryan Reynolds agreed to make this because someone he loved must have either been held hostage or his mobile phone company just needed money to survive.

Black Crab (2022)

Context would be realllyyyyy helpful

[1/10 · 19 March 2022]

This "movie" is like someone giving you random pages from a book:

* Why "canisters"?

* Why skate when you hear helicopters within the first 5 minutes of the movie?

* Why is there a war?

* Who is fighting?

There's SO MANY more questions left unanswered because "it came from a book".

Would you read random pages from a book?

This movie asks you to do just that. Random pages from some book's plot that when put on film makes no sense at all.

It's a frustrating bad movie that makes absolutely no sense.

Don't waste your time.

Signs (2018– )

Come for season 1, don't bother with season 2

[4/10 · 30 January 2022]

When you watch an entire season and they leave you with a bunch of cliffhangers at the end of the season, you'd think the producers whoever the television gods are would wrap stuff up in the next season.

You'd "think" they would. Except in this case. Season 2 is an utter and complete mess. Between the skipping around, the stupid plot twists, new characters who have no backstory or reason for existing, oh, and the "found Nazi footage", let's not forget that moronic entry into this storyline.

IF there was a story in season 2, I dare you to find it. It's completely idiotic and doesn't keep your attention. Maybe the writers were drinking some of tainted water the weird religious guy was hawking in season 1, but obviously they were on something.

Watch season 1, watch the first 2 episodes of season 2 to clean up the cliffhangers from season 1.

Then, turn this mess off and go watch something else. This show just went completely off the rails after that.

Don't waste your time.

Dope (II) (2017– )

When you have a broken system, focus on the problem

[2/10 · 28 January 2022]

The saying that in a war someone wins is the epitome of this godawful BS of a series. The fact that this manufactured"war on drugs" is in place on purpose. Justifying police departments to buy ever more lethal arms, allowing guns to show up on streets. If you don't want guns on the street why enact law after law that allows people to get them easier than a hot meal?

All this series shows is how stupid "drug enforcement" is.