Horrorfan1995 Reviews

Godzilla 2000 (1999)

A film worth watching

[7/10 · 6 September 2012]

Originally in 1995, Godzilla vs Destoroyah was meant to end the Godzilla franchise, putting it in a hiatus until 2005 (according to Executive Producer Shogo Tomiyama). However, after the release of the 1998 remake by Ronald Emmerich, Toho Co. didn't want to wait 7 years until his return, so they brought Godzilla out of retirement one year later. It was released in Japan on December 11, 1999, and August 18th, 2000 in the U.S. It was the first Godzilla movie since Godzilla 1985 to be released theatrically in the U.S.

To the fans, it was a dream come true, but to the general public, it was overlooked. Most people thought it was a sequel to the 1998 remake, but us fans knew it was the real deal.

The synopsis is once again another reboot to the series, ignoring the sequels from the 50s up until the 90s, and taking place only after the original. Another Godzilla comes to Japan and wreaks havoc once more. It's very similar to The Return of Godzilla, however, unlike Return, 2000 has Godzilla fighting a new monster. We first see this monster as a UFO throughout most of the movie, but near the end, we see his true form. The monsters name is Orga, and he is (in my opinion) of of Godzilla's best foes. He takes G-Cells and tries to become like Godzilla.

Now for Godzilla's new look. It's a personal favorite of mine. The giant jagged spines, the fanged teeth, the facial structure, even the roar has been modified. I also like the yellowish, orange like color for his atomic breath. It's a nice change of pace compared to the past films. It's also fun to note that Godzilla is green in this movie, despite the fact that the past Godzillas always had a charcoal-black coloring. Another fun fact, this suits structure was inspired by the KingGoji look from King Kong vs Godzilla.

The acting is pretty decent for a film like this, and the effects are spectacular. Although there are some underwater scenes where Godzilla is in CGI, and they don't look good, and the English dub can get pretty goofy at times, which such lines like "I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed", and "Great Caesar's Ghost", other then that, the acting is decent, and the miniatures are still as fantastic as they were in the old age.

If I had any complaints with the film, it's with the origin of Godzilla himself. No one knows if it's the same one from 1954, Jr. from the Heisei films or if it's another Godzilla all together. Ever since 1999, and still to this day, no one, not even hardcore fans know about his where a bouts. I like think however that it's another one of it's kind.

In the end, Godzilla 2000 is a great entry in the series, some fans maybe put off by the continuity being re-imagined, but once you get passed that, it's still a very good entry in the series, probably one of the best the Millennium Series has to offer. Give it a chance.

My Rating: 9-10

Godzilla 1985 (1985)

One of the Best of the Series

[9/10 · 13 August 2012]

In the 1980's, producer Tomoyuki Tanaka had plans to make another Godzilla movie. Instead of making a sequel to 1975s Terror of MechaGodzilla, he decided to reboot the series. This film takes place directly after the 1954 Gojira taking place 30 years later, ultimately ignoring the sequels from the 50s to the 70s. In Japan, the movie was called Godzilla, in the US it's known as Godzilla 1985, but I like to call it by its international title, The Return of Godzilla.

The story may be simple, but it works. It's essentially the plot of the first movie with some differences. For one thing, this is the second Godzilla creature to attack Japan. Another thing is the addition of the new flying weapon, the Super X used to stop Godzilla and ultimately failed. The major difference is the setting, the first movie was in 1954, this one is in 1984, a whole 30 years since he original attack.

The acting is really well done, and the effects look spectacular. My only minor nitpick has to be the animatronic close ups of Godzillas face. It's a unique idea, but it suffers from the fact that the head doesn't resemble the suits head.

Speaking of the suit, I love what they did with is suit, it resemble the 1954 Godzilla minus the ears and tiny pupils that made him look more like an animal.

I can safely say it's one of the best Godzilla films I've seen in a while. It really is worth watching. Only problem, like most American fans, it's very hard to see this film mostly because it never got a US DVD release, it was released theatrically in the US and was released on VHS in the US, but never got a DVD release. Thankfully I own a bootleg of the movie which also comes with the US release, Godzilla 1985.

Now my quick thoughts on the US release, it's the same as the original release in Japan, but with a lot of differences. One major difference is the inclusion of Raymond Burr, returning as Steve Martin from the US release of Gojira (Known as Godzilla King of the Monsters). There were also minor scenes cut from the film I.E. Goro calling his editor from an island, and Hayashada and Naoko making a wave generator.

The most controversial change was the scene where the Russian submarine officer Colonel Kashirin valiantly attempts to stop the launch of a nuclear weapon. New World edited the scene (and added a brief shot of Kashirin pressing the launch button) so that Kashirin actually launches the nuclear weapon.

It's an OK release, but the Japanese version is much better.

My Rating - The Return of Godzilla (Japanese Release) - 10/10. Godzilla 1985 (US Release) - 6/10

Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings (1993)

It's just OK

[4/10 · 27 November 2011]

Pumpkinhead II may not be one of the worst movies I've ever seen, but it really does make you ask why was it made.

First off, let me point out that I'm a huge fan of the original Pumpkinhead, it has great atmosphere, brilliant SFX, little to no gore (BTW, I don't believe that gore makes a good horror film), and great acting, especially from Lance Henriksen. the sequel on the other hand, well.

Like everyone else, I hate how they ignored the first film, especially how Pumpkinhead is now a generic slasher villain instead of a demon who kills for vengeance.

I also didn't like how the demon itself is never called Pumpkinhead, in fact, it's called Tommy throughout the whole flick. I think it's because of the fact that after Tommy died (He was killed by 1950's Christian auto-bullies), his spirit went into the body of Pumpkinhead after some teens decide to resurrect him. Which raises the question how stupid and bored do you have to be to think, OK gang, let's bring an angry spirit back to life?

As for the SFX, they're passable, but not as fantastic as Stan Winston's effects from the first film. At least it's better than CGI though. The acting was standard, but I give high praise for Andrew Robinson's performance.

In the end though, if they made the demon look different and just simply call it Bloodwings, it wouldn't be the greatest horror movie, but it would be better than what we got instead. The movie itself is just OK, i don't have too many praises or complaints with it, I don't recommend it a whole lot, but hey at least it's BETTER than 3 and 4. Trust Me, this one's a masterpiece compared to 3 and 4.

4/10

ThanksKilling (2008)

Awful

[27 July 2011]

This is the WORST movie I've ever seen in my life. No, I'm not joking, this isn't one of those flavor of the month bad movies I've seen, this really is the worst movie I've seen. I literally felt brain-cells dying while watching. But how bad is it you may ask, well, just listen.

The first problem is that the movie opens up with a boob. Why do that, it doesn't help make the story better. The next problem is the turkey puppet. I'll give some credit (some = 7/100) that the turkey Isn't CGI, but the puppet looks even worse. It makes the shark from JAWS: The Revenge look more realistic in comparison. It also looks like a vulture than an actual turkey.

The next big problem are the characters. I can sum them up in three words, unlikeable, bland, and clichéd. They tell jokes that go nowhere, and they just need to die. They're also stupid too. They fall for the turkey wearing the main girl's (no i don't know her name, nor do I care) father's skin and don't realize it until they see his dead body.

Another problem is that the main girl tells a joke comparing the slut girl (seriously, I don't care who they are so I'm going to call them by their cliché names) to an unsolved child murder case. First of all, I like to punch this person in the face, second, why did she make that joke. The worst part about it, she says the joke twice and it was funnier then the first.

The ending was just dumb. The main girl burns the turkey and it dies, then another family is having a family thanksgiving dinner, then another killer turkey says "Do I smell a sequel?", then the end text say "to be continued..... IN SPACE!". My reaction was simple, I burned the movie in my burning pit in my backyard.

In the end, I never thought that I would rate a movie 0/10 stars. THIS MOVIE IS THE WORST FILM OF ALL TIME! DO NOT WATCH THIS! IT WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO HURT SOMEONE!

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

The Best of the Worst

[2/10 · 5 May 2011]

This is with out of doubt the worst Jaws movie sequel ever made. Why, well here's the thing.

First of all, the shark looks even cheesier than in Jaws 3D, at least in that movie it was somewhat realistic, but this comes off as cartoon-ish. Also, it roars like a lion. In real life, sharks don't roar.

Another thing about this movie is that it's just boring, I mean once in a while, they'll cut to the shark, but most of it is just Terms of Endearment mixed with a shark movie. There also seems to be a scene where Michael Brody and his wife argue over not taking the garbage out, long story short, it's unnecessary.

Also, you can see the metal pivot that makes the shark move. How can the creators not notice that. Also you can see some air tubes and even the mechanics that makes the jaw move up and down.

It's also improbable. I mean, how can a shark go from a New York island to the Bahamas in less than 3 days. And as for the whole "Revenge" plot, well the shark has a very screwed up revenge plan. Oh, and if you in pail a wooden pole onto a shark, it explodes. And yes, that's how the shark dies.

Now for all the negative criticism I gave this movie, I'll give credit for the acting of Michael Caine and Lance Guest, at least they were trying. I also liked the music, Michael Small did a great job composing the music. The underwater shots were also really good.

But overall, this one was the worst Jaws sequel, but to be honest, it's worth checking out. I know it's strange, but I think it's one of those films where it's so bad that it's actually good. So if you're up for some absolutely horrible, but surprisingly entertaining stuff, hunt down this movie. But I still give this a 2/10

Pulse 2: Afterlife (2008)

why was this made?

[1/10 · 6 April 2011]

I"m a big fan of the horror genre, and watching this movie from beginning to end was one of the stupidest things that i've ever done.

The first PULSE movie in 2006 wasn't perfect, but it was a good movie. This is just another bad sequel that shouldn't be made. The acting is wooden, the characters were complete and utter idiots, the story is extremely weak, and the effects are slapped on in the laziest way possible.

My biggest complaint (and you will agree with me) is that 90% of the film is green screened. That make the movie even lazier.

Please do me a favor and don't watch this movie.

1/10

Pulse 3 (2008)

WHY was this made?

[1/10 · 6 April 2011]

Here we go again with PULSE. Now we have more ridiculous crap to watch. The first PULSE was good, the second was garbage, but this one takes the cake.

Much like PULSE 2, the acting was wooden, the story was extremely weak, the effects are lazy and green screen shots. But this time, they really made this series suck. The characters are now total idiots, and the story can't stay consistent.

Now the PULSE series is dead, THANK YOU DIMENSION FILMS. You guys took a decent horror movie and turned it into a shitty trilogy.

Never see this movie. It is utter garbage. It's even worse than PULSE 2.

1/10

Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001 Video)

this one was worth the wait

[8/10 · 3 April 2011]

Tremors I and II are great movies to watch. I was kinda on the negative view when I heard about a 3rd movie, thinking it wouldn't be great. But when I rented the movie at Blockbuster (to give it a chance), I was amazed for what I saw.

The acting was great, especially since they brought back some of the original actors/actresses from the first one. The monster effects, well to be fair they were good, the CGi could have been better though. I'm not saying it's the worst CGi effects I've ever seen. At least we do get the original puppets and animatronics.

I don't want to give too much away, just see it for yourself.

8/10

Intruder (1989)

what?

[3/10 · 26 March 2011]

This is without a doubt one of the worst slasher films of all time. How bad is it you may ask, well, where do I begin.

First of all, the movie says that the main characters are Sam Raimi, Ted Raimi and Bruce Campbell, there even top built on the poster, the trailer, even the DVD cover. Well, Sam is just a supporting character, Ted only had a small role, even Bruce appears at the end of the film for like 30 seconds.

The next problem is the music. First of all, it sounds like something from a horror special from a television show. Second, the main theme was ripped off from Transformations.

The biggest problem for me is that the killer is revealed in the trailer. There's no build up or suspense, not even a hint whether there will be a killer or an evil force, we know what he looks like. In a good movie like Jaws, we never see the Shark until the end of the film. But in a bad movie like this, we see him automatically.

Even the ending sucks. The police come and arrest the protagonists. The "main girl" tries to explain that she called the police but one of the cops keeps plumbing the crap out of them for not shutting up. In another slasher film, the police would question the protagonist and either believe them or get killed by a jump-scare, but here, the police arrest every innocent person out there, CLEARLY THERE THE BEST!

Please, just do me a favor, and never see this film. 3/10

Five Across the Eyes (2006)

why was this made

[1/10 · 1 February 2011]

I can't believe I saw this movie. This is one of the worst films i've seen in 2006. The film doesn't even have a plot, it's just 5 teens being chased by a crazy lady. THE END!

And the shaky cam makes me nauseous. It works for films like "Blair Witch Project" because that was shot like a documentary, but for a film like this it makes you think the cameraman was drunk. Plus, the main teens are really annoying.

I mean, compare this film to Pulse, which came out that same year as this movie, that film was bad, but at least it was entertaining and had a plot. Also, what was up with the lady trying to kill them, she did mention something about her family but it's never mentioned again in this film.

Overall, Five Across The Eyes is REALLY BAD. On top of that, it physically hurts to watch.

I give it 1/10. I HATE THIS MOVIE!

Friday the 13th (2009)

One of the best Friday the 13th Films ever

[9/10 · 17 November 2010]

As a fan of the Friday the 13th franchise, I was very skeptical about this film, mainly for the fact that most of the time I'm against horror remakes. But I felt like the makers had no choice.

Another sequel would have been difficult considering Jason has gone to New York City, was dragged to Hell then started to take control of people's bodies, went into space and became half machine, and then fought Freddy Krueger. But after seeing this film in theaters, I was amazed.

This was probably one of the best Horror Remakes ever made. My only complaint with the film was the characters, most of them were your average Friday the 13th teens that do stupid things and end up getting killed with the exception of one character named Clay Miller, who is just looking for his sister who went missing.

Jason Voorhees was definitely the best character in this whole film. He is a lot more clever then the old Jason, he preys on his victims in more unique ways.

The kills were good, but not as great as the previous films, just a machete here and an axe there, nothing that we've ever seen before. So all in all, if you are expecting another Friday the 13th film, it will quince your thirst for kills and sex and other stuff.

9/10

My Pet Monster (1986 Video)

The children's play thing that you could buy at Toys r Us for like $15, is a better special effect, then this animatronic chuckie cheese nightmare!?!?!

[4/10 · 10 November 2010]

I saw this movie once and I thought is was good, but I just recently saw this movie and WOW now I know how bad this is.

The biggest problem I have is that it's about a boy who becomes a monster. That's a problem because it's called My Pet Monster, NOT A boy who became a monster. On top of that, it suffers from lazy writing, lazy directing, lazy animatronics and lazy editing.

Also, the movie has a very VERY creepy ending that ends on a cliffhanger, with no spin off show or a sequel, so long story short, its like the director is basically telling us that you have wasted an hour on a really bad movie.

All an all, the movie is bad, but not the worst thing i've seen.

4/10

Troll 2 (1990)

oh my goooooooooooodddddddddd

[1/10 · 10 November 2010]

It's impossible to think that this is a movie, this looks more or less like a college film.

Considered as one of the worst films ever made, Troll 2 has nothing to go for. My first problem is that even though it's called Troll 2, it has nothing to do with Troll 1.

I also have a problem with the fact that these aren't trolls, they are goblins. The plot is about some random family that goes to a town called Nilbog (Goblin spelled backwards), and they find out that the town has goblins that want to eat them.

The film suffers from bad acting, horrible goblin effects, no story, and bad directing. Now the one THE ONE positive thing that I can say is that there's a scene where a guy see's the goblins and says, "There eating her, and then there going to eat me, OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD! Conan o' Brien promoted this film in the tonight show, and even the actors made a documentary which was called Best Worst Movie.

Overall, this movie is Horrible, don't watch it, trust me! 1/10

Suburban Commando (1991)

Not Good, but Not Bad

[5/10 · 3 October 2010]

OK, let's be honest, this isn't one of the greatest movies ever made but I can give it some credit for making me laugh once in a while, and even though some of the action was kinda boring, it was at least somewhat creative.

Even though Hulk Hogans acting isn't all that good, I will say that this is the one of those movies where an actor does bad in many movies but did good in a certain movie (Suburban Commando is one of his better films). Christopher Lloyd pulls of his role as Charlie very well and has one of the funniest lines of all time, I WAS FROZEN TODAY. But the rest of the acting was bad.

So in all honesty the movie is just stupid, but it tries to be good. If you want to watch it, then I see no harm in watching it, if you've heard of it then I say check it out as well.

5/10

Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996 Video)

It's a terrible movie

[2/10 · 30 August 2010]

I have tried to watch Leprechaun 4: In Space for a while, now that I saw it, i regret it.

The Acting and Dialogue are awful, it's about as appealing as a bunch of kids playing space marines. Even though the camera shots are good and the lighting looks authentic, you can't get rid of the feeling that there on a set and not an actual space ship.

The movie is so self aware that it rips off line from other horror movies, like, "It's Alive" from Frankenstein, it even uses a line from the fly at one point, and it even rips off the old black and white racial horror movies.

Now I will say that THE ONLY thing I liked was the effects on the monster at the end of the film, but this also proofs what happened to the budget of the movie (if this movie even had a budget). I can honestly say that this is my LEAST favorite film from the Leprechaun franchise, it's even worst then when he went to the hood, I say go see the 1st, the 2nd, the 3rd or even the two hood movies, just don't deal with this one 2/10

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Not as bad as everyone says

[7/10 · 12 August 2010]

I can't say that Halloween III: Season of the Witch is one of the worst films in the series, It definitely was one of my favorites.

But to this day, many people are confused of why they called it Halloween III if it didn't have anything to the series. So, what was the answer to why Halloween III is the way it is? It was simple, Halloween started Michael Myers, and Halloween II definitely killed him off meaning John Carpenter was done with him, so when the 3rd movie came out, they decided to make the Halloween franchise an Anthology series.

The music was creepy and it showed a kid getting killed, the villain though, Coral Cochran, he really tries celebrate this Halloween trying to return it to its original roots.

I say that the series would have been better if it was an Anthology series then just rehashing the same Michael Myers plot over and over again.

But in all honesty, Halloween III is not as bad as everyone says, it definitely had an original plot and some unique twists to it, so overall, I recommend seeing this movie.

7/10