druspatau Reviews

SAS: Red Notice (2021)

Why the haters? It's a diverting bit of fluff.

[7/10 · 13 March 2021]

Maybe I wasn't concentrating as much as the terrible editing and terrible sound brigade. Yes it's low budget but not sci fi channel low budget. Yes some actors who should know better are trying too hard or not hard enough. But this doesn't distract from my enjoyment of a die hard clone done on the cheap. I've seen far worse.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

visually strong but unengaging

[6/10 · 6 June 2012]

i was really looking forward to prometheus. I'm sad to say i was disappointed. The film looked great. Visually very strong. I'm not sure the 3d added anything to the overall look of the film but when does it ever? My main problem was the incoherent plot and the lack of any decent characters bar Fassbenders sublime android impression. Without giving anything away the film left me cold. I consider myself a fairly intelligent adult and most of the film i was scratching my head. Michael Fassbender was great. The rest of the cast less so. Charlize Theron was OK. But with Theron you expect more than OK. As for the heroine Rapace seemed to vulnerable to suddenly become all gung ho and attempt to save the human race almost single handedly. Am going to watch it again to give it another chance but i fear my first impressions will be confirmed

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

expensive looking empty hearted twaddle.

[4/10 · 23 June 2009]

i have to admit i was not a big fan of the first transformers movie. It lacked any discernible plot and was too long. Shia lebouef is never leading man material and meagan fox looks good until she opens her mouth and attempts to act.

The new transformers movie is much more of the same. Its much too long and has the same problems as the first one. Its hard to distinguish between the good and bad robots in the big fight scenes. The script, such as it is, is padded with clichés and hilarious comic robots provide supposed light relief.

I know revenge of the fallen is not meant to be some great cinematic masterpiece but its a blockbuster done badly. I like big dumb films. they can be terrific entertainment. Star trek is the best film of the summer so far. Big, bold and funny. The laughs in the fallen are lame and the major set pieces lose their impact due to the inflated running time.

I sat in the cinema depressed. Meagan fox eased the depression slightly but if all a summer blockbuster has to recommend is a pouty pneumatic brunette its a sad state of affairs. 4/10

Abominable (2006)

enjoyable movie not too shoddy.

[7/10 · 10 September 2007]

i started watching this movie with no real expectations as the sci fi channel normally specialises in films with ropey cgi and hammy acting performances. The film is somewhat of a slow burn but it is worth staying with. matt mccoy has gone back to the mountains to get over his traumatic past. Sadly for him big foot is on the loose creating carnage and mayhem this film has a good b movie cast, gore, nudity and a realistic non cgi monster. the non cgi monster was a refreshing change and although its not the most impressive creation ever it does a job. despite the rather silly ending abominable never fails to keep you entertained and is much better than recent sci fi efforts like minotaur, cerberus and deadly water.

Blade: Trinity (2004)

Its fun which is no bad thing

[7/10 · 26 December 2004]

If the 'carry on' gang had done a vampire movie the result would probably be something along the lines of blade trinity. This is no bad thing however and other po faced reviewers should lighten up. Blade has never taken itself too seriously and this latest edition is no exception. Ryan Reynolds is not to everyones taste but his wisecracking and colourful language really added to my enjoyment of the film. Wesley Snipes is as hammy as ever and although its true he has far less to do in this film its probably no bad thing as he seems to be having real issues with his prosthetic teeth. Schindlers List the musical would be a step too far but a funny version of blade really isn't the end of the world.

Catwoman (2004)

I've seen far worse

[6/10 · 25 August 2004]

A lot of negative press has surrounded this film since its release. So much so that even before i went to see it i kind of wanted to like it just to be different. There was no need in the end however as much like thunderbirds it isn't half as bad as people say. Formulaic - certainly, Cheesy - tick the box, Average - most certainly. As a regular cinema goer i have seen a lot worse films this year, step forward 50 first dates and the ladykillers, and i am sure there are still bad ones to come. The biggest crime that i can find with catwoman is that its distinctly average and the hatred and bile directed at this movie seems wholly misplaced.

Love Actually (2003)

really enjoyable stands up to repeated viewings

[9/10 · 26 November 2003]

Love Actually is a very funny film. It has many laugh out loud moments and is far and away the most consistently funny film i have seen this year. Macho cold hearted men may complain that their are too many strands to the story and not all of them work but if you go into to the cinema with an open heart you are sure to leave with a smile on your face. Stand out moments for me were the octopus in the back of the car and the singing policeman

Hulk (2003)

biggest and best summer movie so far

[8/10 · 13 July 2003]

Mild spoilers

Leaving the cinema with a big smile on your face is a great feeling to have. The Hulk, although not as action packed or exciting as people may expect, delivers smiliness satisfaction in spades. Seeing the green behometh smash up tanks,helicopters etc had me in aweof the amazing folks who created the cgi. Flawless in my eyes it was truly a spectacle to behold. The acting performances are pretty much sound although Nick Nolte does mumble severely and Sam Elliots moustache is far to smooth along the bottom (its false methinks) Great summer fun which you can watch and enjoy on two levels. You can be serious and question the ethics of the research that Banner is performing or you can just grin inanely as Hulk smashes mutant french poodles.

Basic (2003)

basically its rubbish

[3/10 · 23 June 2003]

Uninvolving, unintelligable and unadulterated rubbish. I like John Travolta movies as a rule, even the rubbish ones, and there has been many. Basic however has no saving graces. Startng with the cast, Connie Nielson has a bad acting day at the office, the second one in a row after The Hunted. Equally bad though more laughably entertaining is Giovanni Ribisi who must give the worst performance ever of a gay person. That accent where did it come from? The plot for the film can be largely ignored as it makes no sense whatsoever. I had a vague idea what was going on and was not that surprised by the ending but overall the film didn't add up to much and was a waste of time for everyone involved. I won't make a comment on John Mctiernan only to say the bloke needs a break after Rollerball and this.

Road House (1989)

A modern American classic

[9/10 · 22 April 2003]

Roadhouse is a modern American classic. Picture the scene. A scummy bar in mid west America saved from destruction by a knight with a shiny white shirt and a mullet. This film is far and away Swayze's best performance to date and their is able support by Sam Elliot as his buddy and Ben Gazarra as the nefarious villain of the piece. One great set piece follows another culminating in the infamous 'throat' scene. A non stop action movie that was always destined to become a cult classic.

DeepStar Six (1989)

good effects, good cast, good film

[8/10 · 22 April 2003]

Deep in the ocean some foolish marine biologists accidently disturb an ancient prehistoric creature from its slumber. The creature is understandably a little cheesed off and proceeds to cause the death of many of said biologists. With your brain safely checked in with the cloakroom attendant this film is undemanding and fun. The creature is particularly impressive and credit must go to the the special effects guys. The cast is eclectic and low budget with Miguel Ferrer giving the best performance as Snyder, the only member of crew realizing the gravity of their situation and slowly going stir crazy. This film is better than many other watery efforts and this includes bigger budget efforts like Leviathan and Sphere.

Cradle 2 the Grave (2003)

its pointless being critical of films like this

[6/10 · 11 April 2003]

This film is exactly what you would expect from a martial arts/action film starring the mono-syllabic diminutive one aka Jet Li. Its enjoyable enough and if you are looking for a no brainer to pass away a couple of hours you can't go far wrong. Plenty of action, crass dialogue 'the power of two hiroshima's' and a few laughs as well.

Daredevil (2003)

daredevil great film better than spiderman

[8/10 · 6 April 2003]

I approached this film with caution half expecting another movie like the awful 'Punisher'. However I left the cinema with a big smile on my face. The cast were faultless with great performances, especially from Michael Clarke Duncan and Colin Farrell. The tone of the film was just right with the darker feel attributing to a much more enjoyable film than the campy 'Spiderman'. A film for grown ups rather than kids 'Daredevil' delivers on every level and I can't wait for the sequel