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rsboswell
Reviews
John Carter (2012)
John Carter of Where?
Sadly, this film is an example of what could've been done but wasn't; and how it completely missed the boat. True, it helps if one did read any of Rice's stories in this series, but then you'd see that this was a bad mash-up of several of them, which ultimately leaves one with far more questions than they would start with. Kitsch is Captain Bland, or, Bleh ... no charisma, no presence for the role John Carter should be portraying. I found this screen character dull and lifeless, and, apparently in a position to pose a lot like he was on the cover of a Harlequin romance novel. Harris' portrayal of the Princess was the most convincing and entertaining. If any character carried the weight of this story, she did. But overall, for a film that dumped an obscene amount of money into it, so much more could have been done. I mean, really ... Utah is Utah folks, I don't care what color filter you put on a lens, you recognize the landscape. Why? Well, it's only been used in every science fiction film ever made (practically). And seriously, I lost count of how many scenes looked like they were ripped right out Star Wars fight scenes. Something like this should have been epic, in fact, so epic that I would have loved to have seen subsequent sequels. But it was missed, and that's too bad. This could have been something so different, it was all right there ... and if you're curious, read at least, the first book, you'll see why.
Mirror Mirror (2012)
Quit while you're ahead ...
Obviously, we already know what story is being pulled off here. So ... why? This movie is so bad, I couldn't stomach watching it in it's entirety. That, and two people sitting in the audience fell asleep and were snoring through it. But seriously, Julia, Julia, Julia ... honey ... fire your manager. They did you no favors getting you in this picture. In summary, the bad CGI was hard to look at, the dialogue is flat, unimaginative and amateurish; the acting looks , no, is directionless. What's more appalling is how many recognizable names are in this movie. Why? what happened? Granted there is always going to be a line of bad movies every year, but you'd hope you wouldn't see seasoned talent in them. This film is flat, boring, and even the parts that are supposed to funny, aren't - comic timing is utterly absent. Sadly, I won't be able to see another film with Nathan Lane in it and take him seriously because of this, or any others for that matter. Even if this went straight to DVD, avoid it at all costs.
The Hunger Games (2012)
Wait, I've seen this
plot, in another movie, or two. Really. I'll begin by stating I did not first read any of the series this movie is based on. Given that, seeing this movie with an open mind still lead to far more questions and contradictions that just didn't add up. I also saw this movie with someone who did read the first book, and they were just as puzzled. Simply put, there's far too much left out in the screen play, that, if I was to be enticed to read the book after ... I wouldn't. There's nothing here. It's another story of humans hunting humans in a forest for sport. Been done. Several times. And are we supposed to be shocked that children are hunting children? C'mon, you can read more shocking stuff in local newspapers about what kids are doing to each other that's far more disturbing. Entertainment value is gambled on the marketing toward the Twilight/pre-teen vampire/I hate you/I love you angst group that will eat this up. But that's about it. Sadly, I couldn't get my money back, but at least I'll save a few bucks by skipping reading any of these stories.