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nimrodchad
Reviews
Attack the Block (2011)
Nothing Like Shaun Of The Dead....Awful
I feel it is my public service to point out that this film is terrible and nothing like Shaun Of The Dead as the marketing suggests. The first half of the film involves obnoxious hoodies saying 'yeh blud' and generally being very annoying. Nick Frost pops up and has no funny lines. I didn't expect this movie to be as good as 'Shaun' but I literally didn't laugh once and I couldn't tell if it was even meant to be funny. I think anyone over the age of 16 who isn't from a council estate in London will hate this.
This is the directorial debut from Joe Cornish and I pray he doesn't make any more films.
F (2010)
Avoid at all costs
Where do I start on how bad this film is? There is no gore or violence so the DVD cover and marketing are very misleading. As is the 18 certificate which is hugely unwarranted. A group of teachers and teenagers get stuck in a school late at night and are stalked by a group of' hoodie' teenagers because one of them was given an 'F' in class. That is literally the whole story and telling you that much information saves you having to sit through 76 mins and still be none the wiser. You never see the teenagers faces, they don't speak and you never actually know why they are there or what the point is to any of this nonsense. However they have the ability to leap around onto lockers and tables like trained gymnasts and kill (although you never see the killing, presumably the budget wouldn't stretch that far!) like trained special forces.
The acting is barely average but the appalling script, low budget, awful direction and amateurish camera-work make this feel like a student film. And not a very good one at that. In fact they'd probably get an 'F'!!!!! This is genuinely one of the worst films I've ever seen and I wouldn't say that lightly. Everyone involved in this film should seriously consider changing career, with the possible exception of Roxanne Mckee (from Hollyoaks) who is a pretty rubbish actor but looks good in a pair of gym shorts!
Armored (2009)
By the numbers heist movie is straight to DVD rubbish
This thriller from mediocre director Nimrod Antal starts off as though it might have some depth but soon degenerates into a by the numbers heist movie with the most obvious plot imaginable. A group of security guards agree to rob their own truck. When it goes wrong and an innocent is killed the main character then gets a sudden burst of righteousness and decides to take on his crew. Highly predictable clichés including the the protagonist's friend (Matt Dillon) who when confronted with the temptation of money suddenly becomes a sneering maniac, the kidnapping of the protagonist's brother (which you could see coming a mile off) and the innocent cop (Milo Ventimiglia) who stumbles upon the gang and gets taken hostage. Unsurprisingly the hero kills the gang and is let off. This is the kind of movie DVD bargain bins were made for. I rate it 3 because it's not the worst thing I've ever seen but I would rate it minus 10 for originality. If you have read this and haven't seen this movie I have hopefully just saved you an hour and a half of your life!
Generation Kill (2008)
As perfect as a war drama could ever be. When film becomes art.
Generation Kill is a work of art that eclipses any military drama Hollywood has produced in decades, including the comparatively inferior "The Hurtlocker". Devoid of cheesy sentiment or political agenda this drama focus's on the men on the ground and as some of the characters are portrayed by their real life counterparts and was written by someone who was there, it's as real as you can get. You only have to see the testaments from ex-marines to see the credibility behind this show. Anyone who has been critical of Generation Kill has probably done it because they either like unrealistic shoot 'em ups like "Black Hawk Down" or are just uncomfortable with the subject matter.
Another slice of brilliance from HBO and the team behind "The Wire" and yet more proof that some American television drama (particularly HBO) is far more groundbreaking than the unimaginative dross Hollywood churns out. In my opinion this a must see for everyone, if for no other reason than to get a brief glimpse into an invasion and the lives of men the general public have little understanding of.
Funny People (2009)
The worst film I've seen in a long time
The first thing to say about this film is that it's not funny. Considering there are a lot of scenes of people telling "jokes" on stage this is quite an achievement. Seth Rogen is a d-list sitcom star who has unfathomably been given parts in Hollywood films. Adam Sandler is truly terrible and simply isn't a funny man which is unfortunate considering he does comedy. Happy Gilmore and Big Daddy had a certain charm but Sandler has lost that charm a long time ago and should really stop inflicting himself on the world. There is no story to this film just whiny, thoroughly unlikeable characters whinging their way through 2 and a half hours of nothingness. It's like watching some really annoying people go through therapy. If you've seen the trailer it looks quite good. However by then you have already heard the best jokes and seen as much of the film as you need to. Avoid this movie at all costs.