julian-640-544058 Reviews

Girl with a Gun (2022)

Were they actually serious with this mess?

[1/10 · 20 February 2024]

To call this an amateur student film would be an insult to amateur student films. The story could have been written by a six-year-old (and probably was). The acting (if you could call it that) reminded me of a kid's high school play... a bad one. I looked and looked for some redeeming quality to justify my spending time on this but, alas, I could not find one. There are endless continuity mistakes, editing errors where everywhere (looked like cut and paste...done poorly), the music was as weak, misplaced and ridiculous and the dialog was painfully crude.

If this was not intended to be some kind of joke, like a parody on making a movie, then it failed there as well. And if the writer/director was seriously trying to make a movie, then he and all who participated, should be properly embarrassed.

My advice to all who were part of this thing: Don't quit your day job...you are going to need it.

Days of Daisy (2022)

Unbelievably terrible

[1/10 · 28 May 2023]

Were they kidding with this? I felt like I was at my grand kids high school play (except that the high school kids acting was far more professional). This was just awful.

Maybe in fairness I should say that the dialog was so poorly written that even real actors probably would not be able to deliver it convincingly.

If this was a student film, then I beg the instructor...PLEASE FAIL THEM.

Looking at the rating this got, I must conclude that whoever put this disaster together has a lot of friends that owe them a favor because no one who actually watched this mess could possibly give it more then 1 star.

White Noise (I) (2022)

The real horror here is that someone allowed this mess to be filmed

[1/10 · 3 January 2023]

I only wish I could find something about this mess to be positive about. Alas, there is nothing. I have come to the conclusion that killing Hans Solo caused Adam Driver to lose his mind. Since then, I have not seen a single vehicle he was involved in that had any merit at all.

This is no exception; in fact it may be the worst thing he has ever done. From his monologue glorifying Hitler to his inane and meaningless conversations with his step kids and wife there is not a moment when it caught my interest.

A hot mess completely void of story, or anything that could be called acting (apparently when the star is unable to be convincing it spreads to all other members of the cast). For that reason alone I can forgive the other members of this disaster for their horrible performances (or lack thereof).

Writing, cinematography, acting all far below par and not worthy of my time.

I recommend you avoid this nonsense and find something more entertaining to do, like maybe get a root canal.

Spin Me Round (2022)

Moviegoers deserve much better then this.

[1/10 · 4 September 2022]

I watched this 'thing' because it was billed a comedy and with Molly Shannon and Alison Brie I figured it could be entertaining.

It was not.

What is was was boring, unwatchable, insulting and disjointed.

There was no plot to speak of and any attempts at comedy were forced and not in the least funny. The 'romance' in the film turn out to be creepy and made me cringe.

Nothing about this disaster was redeemable. The story was non-existent, it appeared to be written by a first-year film student who was failing. The acting seemed unrehearsed with even seasoned actors stumbling through their lines like they were reading them from a queue card. Even the filmography was a disgrace, having been filmed in some of the most beautiful areas of Italy, it did not do them justice, looking armature and poorly edited. The entire crew should be ashamed of being associated with this train wreck.

Save yourself and avoid this mess.

The Humans (2021)

What a waste of time

[1/10 · 14 April 2022]

This is a story about...about...about...well about NOTHING. It starts nowhere and goes downhill from there. The cinematography was terrible...and that was the best aspect of this movie. The acting was lacking. Even a veteran like Richard Jenkins could not save this train wreck..And that schumer certainly proved she is as a lousy an actress as she is a so-called comedian. Take schumer out, (or replace her with a trained monkey) pump up the script and give Jenkins a bigger presence and you *might* have a film that people could at least get through.

Don't waste your time on this one. You can easily find better things to do with your time....like watch paint dry.

Licorice Pizza (2021)

Pedophilia? Really? Can Hollywood go much lower?

[1/10 · 23 February 2022]

Most of the film held my interest a bit as I was waiting for it to get better. A laugh here and there despite the usually poor acting. But OK I will stick it out until it improves and makes my wait worth while. Unfortunately, it never reached that point.

The story meandered around a fickle wanna-be gold digger trying to latch on to a successful "whoever" and failing miserably with each attempt.

It finally lost me completely at the end when it became a story celebrating a big-nosed female pedophile who, after failing in several attempts to exploit men, turned her sites on a child, which by her own admission, was illegal. THAT is how I will remember this film.

Arctic Void (2022)

Watching this drivel will create a void of 1 ½ hours in your life

[1/10 · 1 February 2022]

This film made absolutely no sense. It starts out with the possibility of an idea and very quickly runs out of plot and direction. I guess when you have no story it is logical you end it in a pointless, unexplained and just plain stupid way that is unrelated to any other part of the film.

My advice to the those responsible would be: "next time you have an idea, develop it into a STORY that has a middle and end before you attempt to make it into a movie", but I expect my advice will not be necessary. After producing this crap, the makers will never be heard from again in the film industry.

The real void is between the writer's ears.

Memoria (I) (2021)

Boring to tears

[1/10 · 24 January 2022]

Alright you can say I did not give this thing chance, but after the first 10 minutes of dead air and only 2 scene changes, no dialog, no music, no sound, no story, I was so bored I moved on to a real movie.

The short part I saw lacked anything, no direction, no acting, no dialog, and a stationary camera filming, well NOTHING.

Waste of my time and waste of any talent that might have been.

In short... A COMPLETE WASTE.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Now THAT'S how you make a sequel!!!

[10/10 · 9 January 2022]

Today, too many directors, writers and producers are trying to remake, recreate, re-imagine original films. They 'think' they are talented enough to better the original creators. They never succeed.

In this case the makers of Ghostbusters Afterlife realized they should not mess with a classic and made a true follow up film that paid homage to the original by not trying to alter the story of tell it in their own way. They simply picked up the story years after the original, 37 years later.

I was also impressed that they did not fall prey to the 'politically correct' crowd. Nope. They just told the story of Dr. Egon Spengler's daughter and children inheriting his run down farm house where he was preparing for the onslaught of ghosts he was expecting when he died.

In a well written and sufficiently detailed explanation of what happened in those missing years, the story continues with the logical progression of what would happen under such circumstances, with many of the original cast having actual parts that advanced the story (not just cameos with the exception of Sigourney Weaver who only appeared in one scene but it worked.) I would have liked to see Rick Moranis return, ah, but we cannot have everything (sigh). Glad that chopper came back.

The project was made in the old Hollywood blockbuster style; BIG. The acting was suburb, the cinematography was excellent, and the dialog flawless.

Special kudos to the special effects people. When Harold Ramis made his appearance as Dr. Egon Spengler, the audience experience both shock and delight. The filmmakers took a moment to pay tribute to the deceased actor right after his scene. I do not recall seeing that done in any other film. It was pure class, and brought a tear to the eye. Smartly done!!

It is unusual for me to bubble over a film, and even more unusual for me to rate a film 10, however, this one deserved the praise.

I highly recommend it for those of you who remember and enjoyed the original 1984 film, but also for the young (yes in another rare event, they produced a film that is suitable for children without trying to sell them on any politically skewed ideas, just genuine entertainment).

A heartfelt 'well done' to all involved.

Hypnotic (2021)

They got it all wrong....

[2/10 · 28 October 2021]

As a film viewer, I found the movie to be generally fair. The acting was not too bad. The filmography and editing was adequate; however, the plot was ridiculous which means the writing was way off.

As a psychologist and hypnotherapist (who happens to be named Dr. Julian), I find inaccurate portrayals like this to be disturbing. They give the wrong impression of what hypnosis is and what it is capable of. We have fought this kind of Hollywood distortion for many years so it is not surprising that someone would resurrect that old scenario. To put it simply: you CANNOT hypnotize anyone to do anything they do not want to do. Period. And the idea that a hypnotist can "put memories into someone's head" is just pure fantasy.

Maybe if this film had been billed as a "science fiction fantasy" I would have watched it with a different mindset...but as a thriller, to enjoy it, one would have to suspend disbelief.

Language Lessons (2021)

Worth the watch

[9/10 · 27 October 2021]

This film was very good indeed! At first I did not expect much from this independent vehicle, however the acting, the story and the production were done so well that I genuinely enjoyed the experience.

The filming style was unique which added to the charm of the well written, well-acted dialog. Top that with the many twists and turns and unexpected surprises, and you have an excellent result.

Although there were only two actors in the movie (four were credited but two were only off screen voices for a moment), it worked and it worked well. I later found out the two were also the writers, directors and producers as well, so clearly they were wholly invested in the project. Their dedication showed.

All in all, this film is well worth the watch. I highly recommend it and believe you will enjoy it as much as I did.

My ONLY objection was the unnecessary forced addition of a mixed race gay couple, which did not add anything to the plot and clearly was included just to be politically correct. Fortunately, this was clearly an afterthought, had little influence on the actually story and was quickly introduced and forgotten.

Annette (2021)

Pinocchi-NO!!!!

[1/10 · 21 August 2021]

I am not entirely sure what movie "Annette" is actually supposed to be about but it does prove four things: 1) LA LA LAND is no longer the worst musical every made, 2) Lyrics should not be written by a 6-year-old, 3) Kylo Ren should stick to killing Star Wars icons and 4) a sex scene can actually be repulsive rather then erotic.

Voyagers (2021)

A sad and predictable waste of film

[1/10 · 1 May 2021]

To put it simply, someone read Lord of the Flies a while ago and kind of remembered the highlights, decided to set the location to space ... then gave the idea to a six-year-old to fill in the plot. Then he threw in some teen age sex.

Poor acting...Poor story...Poor attempt in general. The only thing I considered well done were the sets. Everything else was just not worth the time to watch it.

Kim's Convenience (2016–2021)

Oh yes.... this IS funny and a MUST SEE series

[10/10 · 21 September 2020]

Excellent show!! Excellent Comedy!! Everyone in the show is perfectly cast especially Nichole Power whose constant naïve double entendre keeps us in stitches.

The most satisfying aspect of the show is their total disregard for 'political correctness' making IT the joke in most cases as Mr. Kim does not quite get the whole concept. Many Laughs.

The closest compression I can draw is to the 70's series "All in the Family" with Mr. Kim cast as the Korean Archie Bunker.

I highly recommend this for anyone who is fed up with 'political correctness' and realizes that a comment can be funny without someone being offended.

If you have a sense of humor, you will genuinely enjoy Kim's Convenience!

Ana (II) (2020)

Not much here that can be classified as 'comedy'

[4/10 · 4 January 2020]

I was a bit disappointed in this movie as I expected more comedy and less drama. Nonetheless I stayed until the end.

The story is set in Puerto Rico shortly after Hurricane Maria devastated the island. A down on his luck used car dealer reluctantly finds himself babysitting for his 11year old neighbor girl whose mother is incarcerated and whose father denies her.

The adventures and mishaps ensue as they travel the island. The contrast of people standing on breadlines for food and water while others play golf in their country club homes dramatized the class separation that existed in Puerto Rico and was clearly exasperated by the disaster.

Most of the film's characters are criminals, from the corrupt Pastor Helen who uses the child to bilk cash from empathic patrons, to the car thief, the deadbeat dad, the moonshiners, the armed robbers and even the 11-year-old con artist, do not give a flattering or accurate representation of inhabitants of Puerto Rico. It gives the viewer the impression everyone in Puerto Rico is a crook of some kind.

Perhaps the point was to draw attention to the unscrupulous people who took advantage of the disaster to separate people from their money when they are at their worst, however, I suspect it was more just an attack on the integrity of people living on the island, even to the showing of a cockfight, which was especially distasteful.

The only pluses I can find in the flick were the cinematography (Puerto Rico is a beautiful island visually) and most of the acting was above par.

In any event, there was very little (if any) comedy in the film and I left saddened and disappointed.

The Boy, the Dog and the Clown (2019)

Cute movie for the family

[8/10 · 9 December 2019]

A film that can be watched by the whole family which is unusual in this day and age.

An interesting approach to a child's fantasy world, and, although there were a lot of technical mistakes in the filming, it was easy to look past them as you see the world through the eyes of 10 year old Adrien.

There was a certain sadness to this film, however it added to the whimsical story. You just have to BELIEVE.

10 Minutes Gone (2019)

Oh Bruce...what happened?

[1/10 · 29 September 2019]

I am not sure what was going through the mind of Bruce Willis when he agreed to do this film, but I know one thing that wasn't: acting. Stumbling through his lines with a smirk that seemed to say "he he they are actually paying me for this...and paying me a LOT"

Perhaps he only gave them one day so there was no time to rehearse or perhaps he could not take the horribly conceived story seriously enough to do the job right, but either way, it may well be the worst performance of his career.

All the blame cannot go to Bruce alone, the other actors were equally unprepared and with the possible exception of performance of Michael Chiklis, the whole disaster resembled a poorly directed high school play. Even the props were ridiculous, like a single old desktop computer on a shelf running the whole security system for a bank, and a five and dime tin cash box that "is no good without the key"...come on.

The weakness surely started with a sophomoric script most probably written by a first year film school student or maybe a grammar school kid without an imagination.

The filmography was much better than the acting, dialog or the plot, so there is that, but if this is what qualifies as a Bruce Willis film today, then it is a sad day for the action movie genre.

Karen Doesn't Dream (2018)

You are better off sleeping for an hour and a half

[1/10 · 27 September 2019]

The description intrigued me so I decided to watch it. My mistake to be sure.

A few words come to mind: Meaningless, pointless, plot less... I could go on but I don't want to be accused of boring the reader in the same way this 'thing' bores the viewer.

One thing this film (poetic license here) did do was it made me research its origin as I tried to find perhaps some explanation for why this was ever done. I found that it "was produced through the Annual Film Program at Portland State University TV". This explains a lot.

It also saddens me to think that this is what is consider worthy of being called a film...and sadder still that this is what is being bred as the future crop of filmmakers.

Please save your sanity and avoid this journey in to nowhere.

The Beach Bum (2019)

A pro drug use - anti family values mess

[1/10 · 8 June 2019]

I normally find Mathew McConaughey to be a decent actor and his work often entertains, but on this one he lost the plot.

Clearly this movie has an agenda, which is to promote drug abuse and immorality and giving the impression that having a family is wrong. This is typical of the Hollywood playbook these days.

The film had no plot to speak of and rambled on and on repeating the message: take drugs and ignore your responsibilities.

If I had to guess, I would think that it was written by a couple of druggies while stoned and then read by another one who thought it was a good idea.

Gosnell: The Trial of America's Biggest Serial Killer (2018)

Powerful, real and without an agenda - a must-see regardliess of your opinion

[10/10 · 14 April 2019]

I was not sure which way this movie would go when I read the synopsis. It COULD have been pro-abortion propaganda in disguise, but it was NOT. It COULD have been an advertisement for the anti-abortion side, but it was NOT.

No, instead this film was an unbiased, objective account of the deliberate ad heartless murder of living, breathing children. A total disregard for life. A story of medical abuse. A factual account of a horrible, horrible event.

Timely as it was, what I found to be most disturbing is that the actual technique used by Gosnell to murder these kids is actually being supported by the Governor of Virginia!

Everyone would benefit from from the factual presentation of how the abortion law can, has been, and is being abused.

This film strips away all of the politics, and informs the viewer exactly what the word abortion means in cold hard facts.

It WILL affect you.

Dragged Across Concrete (2018)

Definatelyl NOT a Hollywood film---THANK GOD!!!

[10/10 · 24 March 2019]

The film takes some time to start due to the huge list of production companies involved in the production, which, at first, left me with lowered expectation. After all if they had to shop the world to get it made, how good could it be? More on that later.

I was very wrong and very happily surprised.

This film was excellent! The story was captivating the acting was award worthy and the filmography and effects were amazing. Although the dialogue was a bit corny at times, it was delivered expertly by everyone. In all it was a must see movie.

And it wasn't long before I discovered why it took so many companies to make this film: It was NOT a typical Hollywood movie. In fact Hollywood would not have made this film. Why? Because it did not play into the politically correct, anti-religious, ultra-liberal agenda that has become required today to make a film there. In fact, this film was pure entertainment, no brainwashing, no political message, no forced scenes that have nothing to do with the story but are necessary to get past studio PR department. Nope, this film was from the old school, a story with drama, a touch of comedy, tragedy and amazing action.

And it was and absolute JOY to watch a film without feeling that you were being manipulated with some underlying message that supports the message of the loud and vocal without having anything to add to the story.

This was a REAL movie, with REAL actors, with a REAL story that kept you on the edge of your seat until the very last scene.

If you, like me, are tired of the propaganda inspired crap that has been coming out of Hollywood for the last decade then you have got to see this movie. Thanks to everyone involved in this move. It is nice to see that not everyone in the entertainment business has sold out. Hopefully your bravery will inspire others to start making MOVIES again.

Please do another...soon!

Wasted Talent (2018)

Missed the mark ... at least for me.

[3/10 · 12 March 2019]

The narrator in the beginning says "this is not a puff piece"....excuse me...it absolutely is. Moreover, it appeared to me to be an ad by a guy trying to get back into the business. It was less a story about what happened, and more an attempt to rebuild the career of someone with talent who was given an incredible, rare opportunity, threw it away and now cleaned up and decided he wants it back.

But this "audition" falls flat.

In a nutshell it is the story of a rich, privileged individual who had everything and CHOOSE to throw it all away, and, as a result of his bad decisions, an innocent off duty cop is dead. What makes it even worse is he escaped punishment for his contribution to the officer's death most likely because of his money and privilege.

If a person is able to come back from drug addiction and stay clean, good for them, but the destruction and damage to innocents left in their wake does not just go away because of their epiphany.

This film seems to suggest otherwise.

I think one of the last people they interviewed really summed up the message of the film when she said (in effect) that we should feel sorry for these rich famous people because we little people have no idea how difficult it is to have everything we could ever want and we cannot possibly understand how boring that is.

As one of the little people I suggest you skip this one.

Woman on the Edge (2018)

Dad should have stopped her

[1/10 · 3 March 2019]

Rumer's acting in this horrible thing is about a 5 and she is by far the best actor in the piece. The plot is ridiculous, the filming was most certainly done by a student but the performances were something a high school drama club would be embarrassed to admit to. The most shocking thing about it is that one would have expected her Dad or Mom would have stopped her from being part of such a disaster...but I guess kids will be kids.

Solis (2018)

Not worth the time

[1/10 · 27 October 2018]

I had some hope for this film based on the trailer, however, I was disappointed and a bit angry that I was tricked into seeing this based on the trailer. Fact is the trailer was more entertaining then the actual film. The acting was weak, the script predictable, the filmography was lack-luster and ending typical. The effects were average but not good enough to save this disaster. This, like many of the the recent indy attempts, appears to be a student project that should get a "D".

Reprisal (I) (2018)

Was this a joke?

[1/10 · 1 September 2018]

Bruce Willis is an excellent actor. I have enjoyed his body of work for many years. Then I saw this train wreck. What happened Bruce? I can only figure that he has a sense of humor and this movie was his idea of a joke. The dialog was ridiculous and the story was predictable. It has the feel of a student film with equally amateurish special effects. From his first line, Bruce meandered through the script as if he had read it only once. It was almost as if he was mocking the author with each line. And well he should have. For the life of me I cannot understand why he would have taken on this part, unless, maybe he lost a bet. I can safely say you can miss this film...I wish I had.