VanBooter Reviews

Salt in My Soul (2022)

How lucky am I

[9/10 · 8 October 2022]

Watching films like this gives me the best non medicated pain killer I've ever hand. What this girl has had to live with, the pains and sufferings, the treatments, the hopes and disappointments, yet she's still able to wear a happy and positive face.

The medical team although the end was inevitable were marvelous and deserve a mention, they tried everything right up to her last breath to save her, in Britain she would of done well to get a hospital bed and even then the treatments would of been cost prohibitive thanks to luxury of free health care.

Those around Mallory her family, friends, etc also need praising, if she was fortunate for one thing then it would be for having such positive people by her side.

9/10 why would you not want to watch it.

Freedom Uncut (2022)

We Are Reminded

[10/10 · 31 July 2022]

Fantastic documentary and it's been a long time waiting for one which would blow my socks off, yet even though I was glued to the screen it left me feeling sad at the end.

Same happened when I watched tributes to Freddie Mercury, David Bowie and a host of others. Watching this reminds us of what we no longer have.

It's not one of those cheap documentaries which grabs photo's from the interweb and mixes in commentaries from unknowns, its one done "in the best possible taste" and one you will want to watch again. Loved it.

American Underdog (2021)

More Cheese Anyone?

[1/10 · 14 March 2022]

OMG I can't believe I watched all this, maybe it's because I have a love for cheese because there are heaps of it in this crap fest.

The acting was fresh out of drama school evening classes for those late in life developers, only problem was the class was cancelled due to an attack by the cheddar cheese monster.

How can something so bad, so bad it border lines made for TV film quality and that's giving it credit. I was looking for a cover over Hallmark stamp by Lionsgate which would provide some answers.

Anyway don't let me put you off watching it, but to be safe take a bucket because too much cheese can in extreme cases induce vomiting.

The Tinder Swindler (2022)

Gold Diggers Get Dug Over

[8/10 · 17 February 2022]

Excellent Documentary about the women who were investing they thought in a future lifestyle.

As the saying goes you need to spend a fortune to make a fortune and this is what happens when it all backfires. How could these women be so blind, the guy was an average Joe as far as looks was concerned, so it had to be the phony millionaire lifestyle he was leading.

You had to keep reminding yourself that this crazy situation was really happening all caused by greed and stupidity. I have no sympathy for any of them, but if they could lend me their credit cards until the diamonds arrive I will certainly make it worth their while.

Suburban Nightmare: Chris Watts (2022 TV Movie)

Took a deeper dive and landed a belly flop

[1/10 · 7 February 2022]

What you will learn by watching this rehashed and regurgitated story about this horrific crime is absolutely nothing. It's just news clips, photo's, interview snippets which have all been seen many times before.

What is new is the injection from unknow wannabe's and hasbeen's retelling the same old facts in-between the same old film clips, this alone is a crime against the memory of Shanann and her two daughters Bella and Celeste.

Maybe it's because of the lockdown but this trend of scooping stuff off the internet to create a doc and labelling it as 'New' needs to stop, so budding film makers put the mouse down get off your backsides, and get out there and discover that story.

Spencer (2021)

Off With Their Heads

[2/10 · 27 December 2021]

I should of trusted my gut instinct and avoided this, still I'm halfway through and writing this short review will give me a respite and a chance to work up some enthusiasm for the 2nd half. First I need to confess to being if anything an antiroyalist, the lot of them well excluding William and Kate who appear to be decent enough should be slung in the dungeons and fed on a diet of bread and milk.

First Kristen Stewart, I thought she did well, she certainly did well with the voice and there were times when she certainly looked like her. Young Harry and William, well they could of been playing Bill and Ben for all I could tell, nope they didn't work for me at all.

Now the clown of the show, why o' why did the director think this one dimensional actor Timothy Spall was ideal for the part. Pick any film and you will see the same gawky character with the trembling bottom lip and the gone to lunch expression. I was hoping his role would be less than a minute but no he keeps popping up like a bad penny.

So story so far, drive gets lost Christmas dinner, throws up in the loo, then binges in the pantry. Actually I've managed to put myself off watching any more and decided not to continue with it so good luck but it does look as if its getting a thumbs up from most just not one from me.

East of the Mountains (2021)

The Poor Dog

[1/10 · 3 December 2021]

How he got roped into playing a part in this borefest is beyond my understanding, maybe there was a promise of as much as you can eat tasty treats. Sad thing is its now on his/her résumé.

I tried oh how I tried to watch it all but to be honest my interest started to wane with the end it all gun scene. If he had gone through with it then it would of helped us all out.

I could not care one jot about his character and the issues he was facing, the storyline was weak and oh so slow, almost to the point you could predict each scene between short naps.

Best avoided unless you are a glutton for punishment.

Madame X (2021)

Insufferable

[1/10 · 31 October 2021]

Whatever was she thinking serving up this heap of digital mess. I had to switch it off after 20 minutes.

You can ignore all the face filling and stretching if it makes her feel better, but the same old attempts to seduce the audience with the emphasis on the crotch is boring.

She did all that in the early days now is the time to tone it down, so ok she will never be a Joni Mitchell but it would be a preferable vehicle for getting her message across and singing live none of this electronic lip syncing dress like an aging stripper nonsense.

So it's a 1/10 from me and a recommendation to avoid, maybe go and feed the ducks instead.

Schumacher (2021)

Yada Yada

[5/10 · 18 September 2021]

Pretty boring stuff really almost following in the tradition F1 has now become. The doc hasn't included a contribution from Nigel Mansell which would of sent the bore rating even higher so we have that blessing to be thankful for.

Lets be honest I suspect most viewers only watched this in the hope of seeing how Michael is now after 8/9 years, but in the name of "privacy" we are not given that chance.

I guess it's a lot worse than we could imagine, but at least Michael has a family who love him dearly and who will stick by him and continue to care for him. I don't believe in the religious stuff, but maybe one day modern medicine will be able to kickstart, and rebuild damaged brains...... well if you have the money of course.

Wide of the Mark (2021)

Phut, Phut, Pop, Bang!

[1/10 · 31 August 2021]

I am at a loss what the hell did I just watch. I have ridden similar terrains on a basic Honda 90, so ok it wasn't an ideal bike because of the tyre width but fun it most certainly was.

If anyone wants to watch this who are looking forward to some challenging riding forget this one unless you think riding a bike standing tall on the pegs is your idea of a wow factor.

Mary J Blige's My Life (2021)

What a Load of Bilge

[1/10 · 22 July 2021]

The name sounded familiar but when I heard the singing I knew it wasn't my kind of listening.

It didn't stop me from watching the documentary though which to be honest I found to be pretty boring.

Her meet and greet with the fans who poured their hearts out to her received an uninterested response from Ms Bilge.

I would of welcomed some questions about her choice of wigs, such as why the constant almost addicted wearing of white woman's hair. Is she doing a Michael Jackson and rejecting her black roots (excuse the pun) but there is certainly a whole lot there even maybe abuse she needs to put in a warts and all documentary, one which is worth the time and effort to watch.

Into the Unknown (II) (2014)

It Was Harley Entertaining

[2/10 · 3 June 2021]

Pretty lame documentary of kids doing the same tricks on motorcycles. Stand up, sit down wheelies, burn outs, donut's, ok but lets move on and show us something different.

Sitting on the bars facing backwards doing wheelies or burnouts get practicing boys , or come up with your own unique tricks, maybe get a young lady to be part of the entertainment, do anything other than the same stuff over and over.

Citizen Penn (2020)

Wasn't blown away

[5/10 · 6 May 2021]

As far as documentaries go it was okish not good not bad but watchable. To be honest I did feel the filming was just a vehicle to show Penn being anything other than just a successful Hollywood star who was simply content with being just that.

Although he rolled up his sleeves and got stuck in I couldn't help but wonder why did he request the guy filming to keep the camera pointed at the matter in hand and not at him Sean Penn.

Yet this documentary is basically 50% Sean Penn complete with the obligatory cigarette to which several packets must of been emptied.

So its a middling 5/10 and do I want to watch it again errm.. no thankyou!

Hotel Brothers (2020)

We Had a Dream

[8/10 · 30 March 2021]

Contrary to the other review I enjoyed this Documentary True it's low budget and youtubish but that doesn't automatically make it a bad watch. What this Doc does do is to show you how two brothers with a dream left their comfort zone in Canada and headed out to the jungles of Niguragia with a plan to open a holiday complex. That's it and without adding a load of spoilers I will just say if you love adventure holidays you need to watch it. If you are just for lazing by a 5 star hotel pool sipping champagne and being waited on hand and foot then this one is probably not for you.

Samsquanch County (2020)

Garbage

[1/10 · 5 February 2021]

First of all this is not a Documentary rather a very bad attempt at comedy. I'm really at a loss to understand why this was made and what if anything they hoped to achieve. If the hand held (very shaky) cam wasn't enough to ruin it for viewers then the script and juvenile comedy will be. Seriously do not waste one cent watching this, if you are gifted free tickets to the theatre but you need to drive 10 miles to it then trust me it's not worth the tyre wear. Oh and really a 250K budget now that is funny.

Herself (2020)

Corny and Predictable

[5/10 · 9 January 2021]

I more or less called this right even the ending but I don't regret spending 90 minutes watching it. You will need to suspend disbelief because there is too much 'yea right as if' but just treat the film as an easy watch on a lazy day. Probably more of a girls film if I was to be honest, but it's your typical British slushy sentimental type of script where it all goes bad, then everything turns out ok in the end. Don't question the disappearance of all the corrugated iron sheets and all the sanitary ware, the fire was that hot they turned to ash well either that or some local gypsies raided the site during the night.

Ariana Grande: Excuse Me, I Love You (2020)

Excuse Me Its Boring

[1/10 · 23 December 2020]

Well what a disappointment I was hoping this was going to be a warts and all documentary but after watching it for 15 minutes it was obvious this is just a kiss ass Netflix promotional video for the kids. With rumours about her miming or what some call lip syncing I was hoping this was going to be a tear apart in depth investigation and interrogation as to why she considers it ok to fool the audience that she is singing live . One way which sometimes is an indication is when the performer hold the mike close to the mouth which in this instance is a method she uses throughout.

Free Burma Rangers (2020)

When all hope is lost

[5/10 · 5 December 2020]

When all hope is lost you can either look to others for help, re-assess the situation, or pray to some fictitious person and start quoting from a book written by man and re-written by man many times since. This was looking to be an excellent documentary which was sadly ruined for me when if started spouting the god stuff so much so it seemed like all the atrocities in Burma and Iraq had been pushed to the side to make a pathway for the christian faith vehicle.

American Murder: The Family Next Door (2020)

Lets make a Chris Watts documentary

[2/10 · 5 October 2020]

Hey great idea, so you have an exclusive? well no not really but it's cheap programming. We just spend a couple of hours on Youtube splice some clips together and hopefully our stupid audience won't realise they have seen it all before. Great idea, here's a $100 go and make that film. Seriously there's much better content on YT including prison interviews, if you are at all interested in this case skip this and head over there.

Denmark (2019)

A nice surprise

[8/10 · 23 July 2020]

Loved it, it's not what I would class as a true comedy where the writer is trying to make the audience laugh out loud, it's a cute comedy and that's probably a bad attempt at trying to pigeon hole it. The amazing thing is though and somewhat spooky is I've often said to friends if I have nothing, no job, no home, no money, I would do exactly the same as what this guy attempted do only I would choose Norway because some prisons there the inmates have the luxury of cells which more or less fit the description of apartments. Sometime in the future I will watch it again and I if you get the chance I think you could a lot worse than to watch this also/

Wasp Network (2019)

Good movie except......

[8/10 · 20 June 2020]

Damn subtitles, it's a complicated story as it is but when you need to keep reading the subtitles it takes away any tension. I see quite a few reviews with a low score based on the factual content which is crazy. If you want the facts for educational purposes watch a documentary or read a book because for entertainment this movie is good, well I think so anyway... well except for the subtitles but that's my problem for being thick and not fluent in other languages.

A Cam Life (2018)

Not what I expected

[4/10 · 8 May 2020]

I watched this half expecting some in depth investigation into the seedy side of cam life, but yes as one other reviewer reported it's nothing more than a promotional film. I have looked at cam sites previously but to be honest it's not my thing, and I certainly wouldn't throw money at the performers and the same applies to lap dancers and hookers etc. I did check out what was a relatively new player to the scene freewebcams, who during the documentary had won some kind of award. Well what a turn out for the books, this award winning new business had just 4 cam girls online, and taking another look some 10 hours later the site was offering just 1 girl online with 22 watchers. After 5 minutes she gave up so now there was no live cam girls online. Obviously if this is anything to go by making a huge amount of money by setting up as a webcam business or becoming a web cam model is not as easy as it would appear. Or maybe there is some kind of reverse psychology in play, you purchase a shed load of tokens out of pity for the girl. As a doc it was just about watchable, it's not one I would choose to watch or recommend. 4/10

Illuminated (I) (2019)

I nodded off

[2/10 · 9 January 2020]

Probably one of the worst docu I have ever tried to battle through. It was like watching a really bad panto with a bad script and actors who couldn't act. The only part which was missing was the beginning ...... Are you sitting comfortably then I will begin. Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived some very bad people called shills.........

Trading Paint (2019)

Predictable and Boring

[1/10 · 28 May 2019]

When I saw the ratings and reviews I thought sureley it can't be that bad, so out to prove if only to myself it wasn't I rolled the tape. I didn't need to go far into this one to realise I was witnessing the hatching of a Turkey. Made for Television best sums up this drec of a movie, that's not saying it's a good MFT movie because it's not, but at least viewers won't feel the pain of shelling out ticket money. My attention was tranfixed (this is how bad it was) on Travoltas obvious hair piece, is it a hair piece or graft I wondered, does he need to water it and add fertilizer, does he take it off at night, why does he even bother which is ironic really because why even bother just about sums up my review on Trading Paint

Once Upon a Time in London (2019)

Not Another British Gangster Film

[7/10 · 20 April 2019]

I must admit to having a liking for the Gangster genre, but having seen quite a few turkeys from the UK I very nearly avoided this one. I think the last real dog of a film was The Krays: Dead Man Walking (2018) which I rated a 1/10 and boy that dreck of a film wasn't even worth that. This one however starts off with an intro which gives you the impression this is going to be good, with old news reel images and the characters super imposed over them I was drawn in. But then the film starts and any high hopes suddenly vanish expectations are now a B- C+ However don't skip through it like I nearly did, This is a really good and well put together film. The menace of the Krays appear at the end, their time is just starting, but anyway I do recommend you watch it. I would rate it a B+ A- 7/10