sparklefish Reviews

Napoleon (2023)

Too boring to finish

[5/10 · 18 April 2024]

I was so excited to watch this movie. I love costume dramas, I really liked Joaquin Phoenix in other movies, I enjoy this time period and French History, and I was ready to be swept away with emotion. Instead I got bored to tears and couldn't focus anymore past the two hour mark.

The pacing of this movie is so slow. Joaquin Phoenix is one-note. No charisma. Obviously the real Napoleon must have had tremendous charisma to inspire such a following, and the way he's portrayed here, no one would have followed him. He's weird and watching him interact with Josephine was just uncomfortable. The sex scenes weren't sexy, just pointless.

The supporting characters were not distinct enough from each other for me to tell them apart or remember their names. The historical context was lacking and the plot just jumped forward in time without explaining why or how enemies became allies or allies became enemies.

The scenery was stunning and the costumes were very well done. I liked the soundtrack.

My Donkey, My Lover & I (2020)

Weird and perverse

[2/10 · 15 December 2023]

I didn't like it all all and gave up after about an hour. I didn't like the whole premise of a grammar school teacher sleeping with her student's married father and then imposing herself on their family vacation, even going so far as to sleep in their cabin. It wasn't cute, romantic, or funny, it was disgusting.

Laure Calamy is a fine actress and I have enjoyed her performances in Call My Agent and other movies. She still does a great job in this role. It's just a sucky role.

One nice thing was the pretty scenery of hills and meadows so I am rating this movie two stars.

I watched it in French with English subtitles.

Monsieur Hire (1989)

Creepy and gross

[2/10 · 13 December 2023]

No, just no.

So this film was available on Cohen Media, which usually has quality content. Plus, the flick has a 7.5 star average here on IMDB, which is good, right? I mean, all these reviewers can't be wrong...except for when they are.

The movie starts with a dead body. Ok, that's promising. I love a murder mystery storyline. Then we get a quirky detective interrogating a loner/recluse suspect named Monsieur Hire, and I'm enjoying the suspense.

Mr. Hire is shown in flashbacks watching his across-the-street neighbor, Alice, as she walks around her apartment in her undergarments. She's got a nice body and the scenes remind me of the guy watching the dancer neighbor in Rear Window.

The young woman sees Mr Hire creepily perving on her and decides he's sweet and she wants to meet him.

Like that's totally normal.

Is anyone else in Mr Hire's apartment building also watching Alice? Logic says there is, since Alice has no curtains, but we aren't shown any other Peeping Toms.

Oh, and Alice makes love to her boyfriend Emile while watching Mr Hire watch them through the window.

We see another flashback of Mr Creeper- I mean Mr Hire-assaulting a prostitute in a steam room after he tells her a morbid story.

Mr. Hire keeps cute little white mice as pets and he possibly kills one or maybe it died naturally, I couldn't tell because the movie is ambiguous . He makes a little fabric coffin for the dead mouse and throws it in the river. What is this all about? I have no idea.

Alice the sexy neighbor visits Mr. Hire and sits on his couch, and he barks angrily at her to leave and then erotically sniffs the spot on the couch where she sat.

Gross!

That's as far as I got. My nausea took over and I didn't want to watch any more.

Paulette (2012)

Feel Good Movie

[8/10 · 3 December 2023]

We enjoyed this heartwarming and humorous flick. There are some laugh out moments and some touching scenes too.

The music is beautiful. It's a well made film.

The main actress is really fantastic and I want to see more of her movies. She is a natural. Her character of Paulette is mean and racist, but through the movie we see her transform and we are rooting for her.

Aymen Saiyid is wonderful in his role as Rachid. We recognized him from the series Spiral.

All the supporting cast were great. The little grandson Leo was adorable.

Some of the plot points were predictable.

The end was perfect!

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

Beautiful scenery

[6/10 · 26 November 2023]

Well I have added Brittany to my travel wish list after watching this movie. The windswept rock cliffs look so rugged and beautiful.

I was bored by most of this movie but I think people who are more patient than I am would really like it. It's artistic and slow paced.

With sparse dialogue, much of the plot develops through gestures and glances. Nothing upsetting happens and there isn't much suspense. It has a quiet and contemplative atmosphere.

The abortion scene was interesting and weird.

I liked that all four characters are women and that the movie shows lesbians in the 1700s as well as a woman painter.

Twice Upon a Time (2019)

No energy

[5/10 · 25 November 2023]

I watched the first two episodes and gave up. It was so boring and slow that I fell asleep after watching the second episode. No one in the movie has any energy. Everyone talks like they're on sedatives.

The main guy has a beautiful face. That was the best part.

The main woman is super annoying. All she does is whisper and look like she's about to cry. Watching her pout and sulk irritated me.

Additionally, a cute pet bunny dies and I was sad about that part.

The little kid is cute and a good actor.

I was able to understand some of the French. I watched it with English subtitles.

I liked the concept of the mystery box.

Journey to Greenland (2016)

Calm and beautiful

[8/10 · 18 November 2023]

Greenland's endless expanses of snow and ice fill the screen in this calm and beautiful movie. Told in sparse dialogue, the story is slow paced and gentle. Two young men from Paris, France, who are both named Thomas, visit the one's father who lives in a remote village in Greenland. They witness what his daily routine is like and spend time at gatherings with the community, laughing and chatting. At night they talk quietly about this and that since the constant daylight makes it difficult for them to go to sleep.

The Thomases are both mild mannered and soft spoken, and there is very little conflict in this film. It mostly shows a slice of life in this remote village as experienced by the two visitors. The modulated tones and wide empty vistas make this a relaxing and meditative film to watch.

Totally Killer (2023)

Fun and entertaining

[8/10 · 18 October 2023]

This movie was a lot of fun to watch. If you went to highschool in the 1980s it's especially enjoyable. I don't know if younger people would be as entertained or even get all the references. For me, most of the delight was in seeing all the nostalgic details. The Molly Ringwald styling was perfect, but again, would be lost on someone who didn't have their teenage years filled with John Hughes films.

I liked the soundtrack, clothes, makeup, and hair that looked just like the 1980s.

Kiernan did a great job as Jamie. She's very pretty and has and expressive face.

This movie was just the right length too.

Snail (2022)

See it

[8/10 · 17 October 2023]

I saw this excellent short movie at the Manhattan Short Film Festival screening at our local library. I was very moving and made me tear up. The mother just loves and supports her son so much and is so very proud of him. Everyone would benefit from a mother like that! The actress who plays her is really talented and has an open and expressive face. The young boy is adorable and energetic and it's fun to watch him singing around his house using a hairbrush as a pretend microphone.

I will remember this movie for a long while. I hope lots of people see this incredible movie and that it wins more awards.

The Record (2022)

Animated

[6/10 · 17 October 2023]

This was very abstract and I probably didn't understand it completely. The animation was well done in a weird black and white choppy way with lots of jumping images.

It's in French and I was pleased with myself that I was able to understand some of it with my very basic French. I think it's a good concept for a story but it didn't really affect me emotionally.

I admire the creativity of people who can come up with a unique idea like this. With any animation it's hard for me to feel a connection to the characters since they aren't real.

I saw this short movie at the Manhattan Short Film Festival screening at our local library.

Soleil de nuit (2023)

Interesting

[8/10 · 17 October 2023]

I saw this creative short movie at the Manhattan Short Film Festival screening at our local library. It was in English, French, and an indigenous language. I liked its exploration of the clash of cultures and values. I think the message of acknowledging exploitation and colonialism is important. The acting was great! Every character was believable. The scenery really did look like a moonscape! Parts made me chuckle.

I have never seen a film like this before and I appreciate the creativity and talent of everyone involved in making this short movie. If you get a chance to see it I recommend giving it a chance.

Yellow (2023)

Okay

[6/10 · 17 October 2023]

I'm not really sure what the point of this movie was. It was slow paced and there wasn't much dialogue. The situation in Afghanistan is terrible and I acknowledge that it's important for everyone to be aware of what is happening there. I think this film was too symbolic for me but that people who like poetry and movies with lots of visual cues that are open to interpretation will love it. I appreciate the use of color. I thought the woman was really pretty but I didn't understand why she was so unfriendly to the salesman. She was kind of lost in her thoughts and didn't explain herself verbally.

Voice Activated (2022)

Wonderful

[9/10 · 17 October 2023]

I use voice activated technology all the time and regularly get frustrated with it not understanding me. I can only imagine how much worse it must be for a person with a stutter. This movie shows the problem in a sensitive and also amusing way. It's a warmhearted film that left me feeling good.

I saw this excellent short movie at the Manhattan Short Film Festival screening at our local library. It was one of my three favorites, and I'm happy to see it won the Silver Award. The actor Aleks Mikic won for best actor, and he's the one I voted for. Congratulations! I hope lots of people see this joyful and humorous movie and that it wins more awards.

The Family Circus (2023)

Funny

[8/10 · 17 October 2023]

The whole audience was laughing out loud at this one! A teenage son has crashed into a dumpster and his parents and brother are trying to think of how to lie in reporting it because the teenager was driving drunk. It's Christmas and the police officer who takes the report has family problems of his own. The main family is Vietnamese American but I think most families of any background could identify with the themes of love and protection, and trying to balance that with discipline and teaching responsibility. The acting was very believable.

I saw this excellent short movie at the Manhattan Short Film Festival screening at our local library. I hope lots of people get to see this enjoyable movie.

Tuulikki (2023)

Surprising

[9/10 · 17 October 2023]

Talk about the psychological twister! Wow! I did not predict where this story was going. Even when it was done, I know some people were confused, because I heard someone in the audience explain it to the person he was with.

Mostly this movie shows the stressful day to day life of a mother and daughter, living in the house and fighting constantly over rules. Each thinks the other is crazy, and as viewers, we don't know who to believe until the very end.

I saw this excellent short movie at the Manhattan Short Film Festival screening at our local library. It was one of my three favorites, and I'm happy to see it won the bronze award. Congratulations! I hope lots of people see this incredible movie and that it wins more awards.

The Stupid Boy (2022)

Incredibly moving

[9/10 · 17 October 2023]

I am not usually a crier but this film had me weeping. It's not sad, so that wasn't why I got so emotional. It's beautiful, hopeful, and profoundly moving.

I don't want to give away the plot so I will just say that it's about a teenager who may be considered neurodivergent and how his unique personality touches someone at just the right time.

I saw the movie at a screening at our local library attended by about forty people. I heard a lot of people sniffling around me. After the movie, I voted for it to win and I overheard others saying that it was also their favorite. I recently read that it did win the Manhattan Short Gold Award! Congratulations! I hope lots of people see this incredible movie and that it wins more awards.

Harlan Coben's Shelter: Catch Me If U Can (2023) Season 1, Episode 2

Fantastic 2nd episode

[9/10 · 22 August 2023]

I enjoyed Episode two even more than the pilot episode. Mickey's character continues to develop, as do the other main characters Spoon and Ema. The high school students' banter is entertaining and often humorous, which provides a nice balance to the intensity of the suspenseful and violent scenes.

Episode two features Shira more, and she has some great scenes. She's crude and caring at the same time. Her awkwardness with her former best friend Hannah hints at another interesting backstory to come.

The imagery of the blue butterfly is striking and I am curious about how and why it links many of the characters together.

Harlan Coben's Shelter: Pilot (2023) Season 1, Episode 1

Gripping Pilot Episode

[9/10 · 22 August 2023]

Harlan Coben's Shelter successfully hooked me with this amazing pilot episode. Opening with a darkly mysterious backstory and then jumping ahead 25 years, the plot immediately grabbed my attention .

The main character, Mickey Bolitar, is good-natured and easy to like, and within fifteen minutes I already was invested in seeing what happens to him.

I love the NJ locations and the dialogue scenes set with background views across to New York City at night. It's atmospheric.

The pilot episode has a perfect balance of introducing the characters, setting the tone, and creating an air of suspense.

Vortex (2022)

Excellent time travel romance thriller

[9/10 · 13 August 2023]

My review is spoiler free!

I recommend Vortex highly for anyone who likes time travel themes. This series explores the possibilities of going back to change events in the past and then coping with the trade off of what would be different in the present if those things hadn't happened. It's an often done theme (Time Traveller's Wife, Outer Range, The Butterfly Effect, and Back to the Future which is referenced here) and Vortex does it well and makes it interesting and fresh.

It's really well acted and emotional and romantic too. The two leads have chemistry and we viewers really feel for them.

I watched this in French with English subtitles.

The Menu (2022)

Darkly humorous

[8/10 · 2 April 2023]

If you have a dark sense of humor and an appreciation of the macabre, then this is the flick for you! I really enjoyed it and recommend it to the right audience. I could see why many people disliked The Menu and know quite a few people who I would not recommend it to.

Fiennes is a tremendous actor. The range of emotions on his face is endless and his ability to change his expressions ever so subtly to show nuance is captivating.

I found myself laughing aloud as many times as I jumped in shock and yelped. I thought I could predict where this insane plot was going but I was wrong. The funniest thing is the menu descriptions.

I.

The Ultimatum: France (2022–2023)

Peak Trashy Reality TV

[10/10 · 7 January 2023]

This show was just what I needed! I binge watched it in two days. If you like reality shows like Love is Blind, Big Brother, Real Housewives, and Love and Hip Hop, I expect you will like The Ultimatum France. It takes place in France and is available on Netflix to watch dubbed into English, or in French with English subtitles.

The premise is that six straight couples, all in their 20s, have six weeks to decide if they are going to get married or break up. That is the ultimatum. They are all really attractive and there are lots of pool scenes. Everybody is temporarily matched up with someone who is not their partner, and has to share an apartment for a few weeks. This leads to some seduction, flirtation, and jealousy, and also to self discovery, growth, and strengthening of the original relationship in some cases.

We get to watch a lot of messy drama and fighting and making up. It's addictively entertaining. The scenery in France and Belgium is absolutely beautiful too.

Paris Police 1900 (2021)

Top tier cinematography

[8/10 · 15 November 2022]

Even though the story was depressing and bleak, I am glad I watched this well done historical drama. The acting was impeccable, especially Jérémie Lahuerte as Antoine. I respect the art director's complete commitment to dark interiors and a sallow palette. Every single scene was perfectly despondent and moody.

The huge cast of characters and super complex plot was very difficult for me to follow. I watched many episodes twice and read the summaries on the MHZ blog to understand what was going on. I watched this in French with England subtitles.

I enjoyed learning about the facts and real life people that this plot was based on. After almost each episode I looked up the historical events.

The gruesome scenes were too much and I had to close my eyes for many of them.

Miss Scarlet & the Duke (2020– )

Slow paced

[6/10 · 5 November 2022]

I only watched three episodes and then I got bored and stopped. I do not plan on continuing. My attention wandered during the episodes and I became restless. The plot and dialogue was slow and tedious. The acting was good. The Duke is handsome. I loved the costumes. My friend who recommended this show loved it and thought I would too, but she was mistaken. Usually I like crime shows and PBS Masterpiece Programs but not this one. If you like historical drama you might as well give Miss Scarlet and the Duke a try, because you might like it more than I did. I was hoping for snappier dialogue and more action.

Arsène Lupin: Le bouchon de cristal (1971) Season 1, Episode 1

Dated

[4/10 · 18 October 2022]

Maybe this was good when it was made, but by today's standards it is hokey and dated. The effects just aren't well done. For instance, Lupin slaps a man around to try to make him reveal the location of a secret paper, but the slaps are obviously staged and look like a sound effect applied over a fake slap.

The costumes were nice as were the interiors.

The plot was both slow paced and confusing.

Most of Arsène Lupin's disguises looked weird, especially the blonde wig and eye makeup.

I don't think I will watch anymore episodes in this series.

The current remake with Omar Sy is quite good, though.

Death on the Nile (2022)

We all liked it

[8/10 · 8 October 2022]

I watched this with my husband and our friend, and we all liked it. It held our attention and we all agreed it was engaging and unpredictable. Only my husband had seen the 1973 version, decades ago, so none of us were comparing and contrasting this remake with that. I think that is why we liked it so much-we weren't expecting it to be just like something else and we experienced it as an original movie.

The cinematography was stunning, as was the soundtrack. I noticed the costumes and appreciated the styling.

All the actors were good, and recognizing most of them from other shows was fun.

It maybe could have been about 15-20 minutes shorter just to streamline it.

UPDATE: I have since watched the 1978 version and I like the Kenneth Branaugh one more, because it's more interesting and visually appealing, and has better music.