quartermile50 Reviews

The Traitors (2023– )

Looking for the normal people?

[3/10 · 29 January 2024]

For season 2, they've done away with normal people that were included in season 1 and replaced them all with "reality" people who have personalities like fingernails against a chalkboard.

Why? Because as the first season showed us - Screwing a decent, normal person out of 250k tends to make people feel bad about watching it happen. If you have a house full of ego-driven, self-important dumpster fires, people don't feel bad when they cut each other's throats.

It's unwatchable. I fast forward to the murder and banishment. Everything else is a complete waste of time.

I'm now watching Traitors Australia and so far it's exactly as the game should be - quirky every day people, who know nothing about each other, playing for money they could probably use in some fashion other than additional plastic surgeries.

1899 (2022)

This was Netflix's big horror show?

[5/10 · 28 November 2022]

As it is, I barely watch Netflix because it seems as though most of the stuff they have is garbage one way or another. This isn't exactly that, but the plot holes are big enough to fit a luxury liner through. The acting varies, but mostly not that good. I overlooked the English dubbing as it wasn't that bad. The movie felt like it had a lot of potential to be something great, but fell well short of the mark. I haven't watched all available episodes and I'm not sure I'll be able to as it seems to be getting worse as the shows go on.

Is it worth the watch? Depends I guess. Like I said, for what Netflix hyped it as, I was greatly disappointed.

The Requin (2022)

I watched it for Alicia Silverstone... And I wanted to cry.

[2/10 · 6 September 2022]

Whoever did her makeup must have secretly hated her. She looked terrible.

CGI? No thanks. I believe the backgrounds were wall projections. Flat with no color depth at all. I could only make it to the part they started to float out into the ocean and had to stop.

This movie was so bad I started to think I was watching it on Netflix.

I cannot stress this enough - Do not watch this movie unless it is to punish yourself or someone else. My long term crush on AS is certainly dead. She went from tennis skirt hottie to wrinkled up granny. Genuinely not trying to be mean about it, but that's what makeup and wardrobe did to her.

Devil in Ohio (2022)

Borderline Teen Drama But Worth Watching

[7/10 · 2 September 2022]

The battle between good and evil often comes down to each person's perception. Experiencing abuse can have unpredictable results on those perceptions. Perceptions form our reality regardless of their accuracy. The characters in this series have their own personal demons to try and manage while dealing with a looming threat brought about by a stranger entering their life with a significantly dark past.

Based on what's been produced on Netflix lately, this show is actually pretty decent. It's not some super-deep writing masterpiece that's bound for glory, but it's worth watching if you're looking for something different.

House of the Dragon (2022– )

Not a great start

[6/10 · 22 August 2022]

Whether its sex, violence, or some other over-the-top scenario, most series have their first episode geared towards grabbing the viewer's attention and not letting go. This one was written like the producers were half way through the second season and undecided whether or not to continue on for season three. It was boring and I struggled to stay interested. Just like GOT, the dragons only have brief cameos and serve more as background dressing.

Interceptor (2022)

#2 in Popularity? Further Proof Netflix Lies

[3/10 · 10 June 2022]

Either that or the collective IQ of Netflix subscribers has greatly diminished... But I'm going to have to go with my gut, especially since Netflix turned off its early warning system (user reviews). This movie is trash. The terrible writing is matched only in quality by the actors reciting the lines. I think I made it through maybe 10-15 minutes.

Stargate Origins: Catherine (2018)

I should have read the reviews first

[2/10 · 28 April 2022]

This isn't even cult-classic bad. It's just bad... I'm pretty sure a low budget high school play could have done better. Think of Brendan Fraser's character in The Mummy - except the entire cast tries to act that way and at all times through the movie. Action sequences are so poorly choreographed that you can almost hear the person off-set telling them "ok, now swing your weapon this way... Ok, when they swing their weapon in slow motion, dodge this way. Take a breath and then counter this way." I've seen better improvisational fighting.

Assault on Wall Street (2013)

It deserves a 10 for the plot alone.

[10/10 · 7 April 2022]

Is this a documentary? I feel this should be a documentary. With enough real life scenarios just like this, more people might consider not destroying the entire livelihoods of people just so they could get their 6 and 7 figure bonuses on top of their ludicrous salaries. I say might because gluttony, pride, and greed are incredibly powerful to those in love with them. This movie and Falling Down are two movies that embody the undertone of how millions of people feel across the globe. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

F9: The Fast Saga (2021)

I feel dumberer now

[1/10 · 30 March 2022]

Ok, it's no secret that the F&F movies are comically bad but F9 takes it to a whole new dimension. This movie should end any movie career for those who agreed to be in it. I had to fast forward through most of it and I couldn't tell you how it ended because I couldn't make it that far even with the fast forwarding. Why not just eliminate the overwhelming CGI and make it a cartoon? It would have been more believable and likely cost less money to make.

The Hornet's Nest (2014)

A Journalist's Love Story To Himself

[5/10 · 13 February 2022]

Richard Thornburg in real life. As with a great deal of journalists, this guy managed to carry his cross with him through a war zone. It's amazing how he found the time and energy to climb up on it through the gunfire. The description gave me hope for a good POV war movie, but it fell well short of it. The actual soldiers in this film deserved better.

Reacher (2022– )

Almost but not quite

[7/10 · 9 February 2022]

It's a pretty decent show for what it is. Writing is B-C. Acting is C+. Action is B-. It's not difficult to guess who the bad guys are well before the end of the season. Alan Ritchson's physical presence along with his character's delivery of lines that were similar to what was in the movie makes him a pretty convincing Reacher. It's worth watching and I'd at least tune in for season 2.

Doom Patrol (2019–2023)

The F-Bomb is the new period?

[4/10 · 14 January 2022]

The first couple of episodes are tolerable but then it all comes off the rails and focuses more on profanity and stupidity. This show uses F-bombs like periods. Brendan Fraser's character is actually painful to watch. Total overkill on the idiot NASCAR redneck stereotype. The only redeeming feature in this series is Diane Guerrero. Not only is she visually stunning, I felt her ability to embrace multiple characters was quite convincing. She's the reason this has 4 stars instead of 2.

Peacemaker (2022– )

How is this ranked so high?

[3/10 · 14 January 2022]

Adults wrote this? I'm at a loss... Someone wrote it. Someone looked at this and approved it. People lined up to be in it... Then it received high reviews? Seriously? The overuse of sexual innuendos, useless interactions, and bad acting is overwhelming. To be fair, I watched it sober. Maybe I'd love it if I were stoned out of my mind before the intro even started. I get that Peacemaker is supposed to be a manchild tool bag, but come on...

Shortcut (II) (2020)

The cure for insomnia

[2/10 · 6 April 2021]

I made it to 13:12 and had enough. If the first full 5 minutes of opening credits fail to put you to sleep, the next 8+ minutes of a bus slowly crawling along a countryside road full of stereotypical kids will slip you right into that lithium induced coma. This is not an exaggeration. The bus appears to be almost at idle speed & the windows look like the kids spent most of the ride spitting on them. I turned it off when, for no reason, the bus windows became almost opaque as the bus driver tugged on a dead animal to get it off the road. I would highly recommend this flick to anyone struggling to go to sleep -it's more effective than watching paint dry.

War Raiders (2018)

My wife is sadistic.

[1/10 · 5 January 2021]

We saw the reviews. We laughed. Wife was insistent to watch it. Now I have to decide if I should murder her or not.

The most thrilling part of this movie is the moment vomit reaches the top of your throat and you have only seconds to choose between getting to the bathroom in time and uninstalling Tubi for allowing this steaming pile of zero f#k$ to be shown on their channel.

There is literally nothing good or accurate about any aspect of this movie. It's not even cultishly bad. It's just terrible on every.single.level. Random clothing. Commander is overweight with a goatie. "Sarge" is wearing pajamas with a machine gun ammo belt but no machine gun. Countless times they pretend to fire machine guns but fake recoild like it's a single fire. That "special effects" bomb fire? Are you serious? At one point I swear they even have an "american soldier" in a ditch right beside a nazi and they are both shooting at the nazis together. These clowns need to be permanently banned from making another publicly released movie.

I've had less than a year's worth of Adobe Premiere experience and I could have done better than this on my first day of learning.

I would expel high school students for making a movie that was even 50% better than this.

Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005)

Set your expectations low and you'll enjoy it.

[7/10 · 3 December 2020]

High quality production/post production efforts. Lighting and movie sets were staged nicely. Special effects and CGI were terrible. And I mean terrible. I would compare this movie's writing to that of a cartoon. As long as you leave a lot open for imagination and do not mind when things do not make sense, you'll enjoy the movie.

Melancholia (2011)

"Melancholia" isn't even close

[1/10 · 27 October 2020]

Can't sleep? If this doesn't put you down, you're in trouble. By the end of this movie you will be praying for the planetary apocalypse, which, like the movie is drawn out and just as disappointing. When a movie is this dry and drawn out there's no point in discussing the acting or plot. Seriously. The entire flick is a slow agonizing death. How did I make it through? Fast forward.

Hubie Halloween (2020)

The tragedies continue to pile up in 2020

[1/10 · 14 October 2020]

It's a Water Boy Halloween. No wonder Netflix turned off their ratings system. I get that Adam Sandler loves to be as one dimensional as possible, but come on man. I was in physical discomfort having to sit and watch this.

House of Cards (2013–2018)

5 Seasons would rank at a 9. Season 6 should never have been.

[10/10 · 4 November 2018]

If you haven't watched season 6 yet, DON'T DO IT. Just pretend season 5 was the end and move on. It is absolutely terrible. The ending? Proof that no matter how bad the season is, Netflix can always make it worse in the final moments. So sad.

The Flash (2014–2023)

No way this title is average 8/10.

[2/10 · 11 August 2018]

This show goes from mediocre to absolutely terrible. Childish acting. Inconsistent abilities, plot holes the size of the multi-verse, Ridiculous decisions, and on and on... Season 4 starts the forced political and LGBT agenda. I say forced because they're not subtle at all. This series starts out for viewers 14 and older, but quickly goes to 14 and younger. When season 4 is done, I'm done.

Devil (2010)

One Day I'll Learn...

[5/10 · 3 October 2010]

The scariest part of this movie is the fact that I paid money to watch it. I've seen several of his creations and I'm continuously disappointed; yet continue to watch them.

I don't know much about what fuels his creativity, but from my point of view, the hodgepodge of horror-meets-religion results in a mediocre-at-best movie with a semi-transparent plot line that does have a twist or two, but is easily forgotten about after I left the theater.

The characters caught in the elevator are annoying at best. There are a few "jump out of your seat" moments, but nothing in this movie is memorable.

If you feel you have to see it, wait to pick it up on RedBox. It'll be easier to forgive yourself for wasting a dollar instead of the $6-7 per person at the theater.

Cyclops (2008 TV Movie)

Maybe Cyclops has the right idea...

[2/10 · 6 August 2010]

Because I'm watching this travesty with BOTH eyes and my head is starting to hurt.

Before I wrote this, I checked a few other reviews and I have to ask myself if the cast and/or crew are writing their own critiques. Strong acting? Solid plot? Seriously? There IS a plot, but the only strength I find is in the stench. The directing, the camera angles, the inconsistencies... The director felt it necessary to randomly show weird actor facial expressions at useless times? A Syfy movie with no nudity, no worthy violence, horribly choreographed fight scenes and mediocre-at-best CGI.

This is the second horrible movie I've watched today... Now I know what the guys in Mystery Science 3000 must have gone through.

Rock Monster (2008 TV Movie)

A movie to watch...

[2/10 · 6 August 2010]

... if you only have one TV channel available and are tired of crying from boredom.

A guy pulls an Excalibur stunt with a sword, stumbles into a backwards village, finds a hottie and ridiculousness ensues. I kept watching in hopes of finding redemption in *something*....*anything*... But the only part of the movie I enjoyed was the credits (Because that's what gave me the hot co-star's name so I could Google her and see if she has any other movies she may have been more "exposed" in.) While this production may have been recently created, it was certainly founded in the old-school style of where the bad guy lays out his plans in an extended speech to the reluctant, possibly mentally challenged movie hero.

I never honestly expected quality movies on the SyFy channel and I can certainly say they did not let me down on this one.

I would've given this movie a 1, but Natalie Denise Sperl adds "1" to the entire movie.

Zombieland (2009)

Mindless Fun

[8/10 · 8 February 2010]

If you expect depth and feeling and some sort of cultural awareness, then put down the box and step away from the rental rack.

If you want random violence blended with comedic overtones and don't really care about anything else, then this is the one to watch. I found it very entertaining and although very predictable, it's a fun way to kill some time on a rainy day. Anyone who's a fan of zombie-killer console games will really appreciate this movie - I know my kids did.

The bottom line is that it's a good movie to watch at least once. It's funny, violent and it finally ends a few minutes after you're ready for it to end.

Wrong Turn at Tahoe (2009)

Surprising

[6/10 · 7 December 2009]

I'm not a big fan of Cuba's but he was believable in his role. Miguel Ferrer certainly commanded attention and, in my opinion, was a better overall performance, but Cuba pulled off his character well -a loyal, hardened, right-hand man to Miguel "Vincent".

While it is more of a typical gangster style flick, it does offer something a little different; which is what I think makes this movie work.

I would recommend this movie on a rainy day or if someone asked about it, but I wouldn't call someone to tell them to go pick it up... Possibly good enough for the big screen, but certainly not a let down for DVD.