irelands-the Reviews

The Tomorrow War (2021)

Fun movie, just don't expect a lot of scientific accuracy, LOL

[7/10 · 9 July 2021]

Okay, there are tons of long winded reviews here, so I'll keep this relatively brief. It's a fun, exciting movie, with plenty of action and plenty of interesting concepts. It really should have been a trilogy instead of a single show because there are a bunch of extremely huge leaps with little explanation - my biggest beef is with "the toxin" (no spoilers): They just start talking about it as if the viewer had already been introduced to it, but we hadn't, so there was this, "wtf" moment. It's fine, though, as a simplistic plot device.

Anyway, I give it a 7 for its fun, fast paced action, and interesting concept. It loses points for some dumb dialogue, and not enough emphasis on the comedic component. If you're looking for scientific accuracy, haha, don't. Just watch it for the fun.

Infinite (2021)

Not bad, a bit convoluted, but entertaining

[7/10 · 7 July 2021]

So, obviously this movie isn't going to win any academy awards for its deep and though provoking plot. My overall feeling is that it reminds me of a Young-Adults sci-fi fantasy story. It's convoluted, and the characters make a variety of nonsensical choices, and things tend to jump around a bit leaving you feel like you're somehow supposed to understand some of the characters' backstories.

Okay, so if you're into movies like The Matrix, Tenet, and stories like The Highlander and stuff like that, then you'll probably enjoy this movie just fine. The acting is nothing to talk about - both in a good way and a bad way. Again, none of the actors is trying to win any awards with deep, long gazing emotes. This movie doesn't have time for that, they're too busy shooting and driving fast, and being immortal or something.

So yeah, I give this a 7 because it's a fast action sci-fi bonanza of smash-stuff, and that's exactly what it set out to be, it doesn't really pretend to be anything other than that. Obviously having the cast they do works in the movie's favour.

Black Bear (I) (2020)

Peculiar film with an unconventional story arc

[6/10 · 8 February 2021]

This was a truly peculiar arthouse film, no matter what way you look at it. No matter what your preconcieved notions are, it definitely doesn't follow any sort of expected path with the exception of *some* of the character development. Don't watch this if you're looking for a tight, and well-defined story arc with a clean finish. This one's going to leave you scratching your head a little. It's not exactly like it doesn't end or anything, but it doesn't come to a natural conclusion like you'd expect.

Now, I need to also address the number of reviews that celebrate Aubrey Plaza's performance. First off, I went into this movie knowing very little of her, other than she's super weird in TV interviews. That said, it's true - her performance in this film is really exemplary. If nothing else, this show illustrates her wide-ranging skills, and I have to give her a begrudging nod: she might be super weird in TV interviews, but she's also obviously incredibly skilled at her craft - both naturally talented, and clearly well-studied. The fact that she had a role in production (etc) also just highlights her obvioustalents. Like I said, weird lady, great actror/producer/whatever-movie-stuff-doer.

I knocked a pile of stars off for the disjointed about-face of the story between Part 1 and Part 2. Also knock a few stars off for the fact that her male support actor(s) seem too stereotypical to be real. Maybe the film is making a statement about it or something, I dunno - the statement was obfuscated by the weirdness of the story arc.

I give it a 6/10 when comparing it to all movies; I'd give it much higher marks if you're into weird arthouse films.

Debt Collectors (2020)

Decent over-arching story, definitely B-grade

[5/10 · 22 June 2020]

So Scott Adkins has become a mainstay in this sort of film, and his hand-to-hand combat stands out as a high point. It's not quite as good as some of his other films, but I think that has more to do with the cinematography or directing than his skill as a martial artist. The chemistry between the two main characters is quite good most of the time, with only a few poorly developed scenes. Louis Mandylor is entertaining.

The overall story is pretty good, and if you can get over some of the rocky bits and just follow the main arc, you'll enjoy. The main gunfight of the movie (no spoilers) is quite disappointing, with the usual problem where no one can hit anything. Super bizarre. And the sound effects of the gunfight were puzzling. Way too many ricochet sounds, among other things.

So yeah, I mean, there are hundreds of better movies out there, but this one had plenty of legitimate chuckles, and you can't help but root for the protagonist(s). Some basic but well-executed plot twists worked out nicely.

Oh, and the weirdest thing is seeing Counselor Troi, I mean Marina Sirtis trying to play some kind of badass. That was just weird. Thankfully it wasn't a protracted experience. Just shake your head and move on.

Dragon Blade (2015)

Neat story, but the movie was all over the map.

[4/10 · 10 January 2016]

First off, John Cusack was a terrible casting choice. He's not a bad actor in general, but he really just phoned this one in. In parts, he was essentially just reciting bad lines; in other parts his acting was just so over-the-top that it made me laugh out loud.

Jackie Chan had his typical flavour of hand-to-hand combat, with a little less of his usual humour, but plenty of the usual improv. He was clearly giving an effort with most of his dialogue, though.\

What really made this movie weird, though, was the random interjections of what was essentially a dance-off and a sing-off. And then at the end a re-cap montage of scenes with the same song from the sing-off.

In the end, I give this a 4/10. It could have been so much more, the story was an excellent one, and many of the sets and costumes were great. The acting from the main villain was pretty decent, and the epic army conflicts was at least generally engaging, except strangely cut & pasted together so that it came across pretty disjointed. Remember the epic battles in the movie Gladiator? Imagine those, only cut and paste random scenes together. The continuity was peculiar at best. The sheer number of combatants during some scenes was reminiscent of Ben Hur, though, so that was impressive.

So yes, I enjoyed the film, but I found myself laughing at scenes that were not supposed to be funny, and shaking my head at scenes that were supposed to be epic.

Re-Kill (2015)

Entertaining, unique take on the genre, with an Achilles heel.

[5/10 · 25 November 2015]

Compared to big-budget block-busters, I'd rate this lower, but compared to B-rated movies, I'd rate it higher. Thus I give this a 5.

Pros: · Really, quite a good story · Remarkably good acting for such a low budget · Well done zombie action (I'm not even that into zombie movies) · Despite its short runtime, viewers get to know and like some characters.

Cons · Deplorably shaky camera work · Excessively zoomed-in while in close-quarters · Never-ending ammo · Too short (see additional comments)

Comments: I actually enjoyed this movie, and that's saying something. To put it in perspective, if you've seen World War Z, I'd rate this movie about on-par with that one despite its significantly smaller budget. That said, I'll pick apart some of the glaring issues for me:

The never-ending ammo didn't have to be a detractor. They simply could have solved that conundrum by having each member of the various team carry a whole lot of ammo, and show plenty of re- loading scenes. Logically, each team member should have had the same gun, and thus could have shared ammo. This would have been a convenient way to build intra-team personality dynamics. The teams could have coordinated their firing vs reloading time, and it would have added to the excitement. Viewers WANT to see the team work as a team, like a solid tactical unit. They missed an opportunity for that; as it was there wasn't much team dynamic - it wasn't a mess, it was just not there.

The shaky camera is really totally inexcusable, and will really upset a lot of viewers. It was worse than Blair Witch. In many cases, the scenes really didn't warrant the bad camera work, it was unnecessary and wasn't logical. Certainly, in some scenes where the cameraman is, for instance, trying to escape a zombie rush, you could expect some shenanigans. It's clear that it would have been more entertaining if the whole movie was recorded with Go-Pro cameras. Heck, I could have done a better job with a cell phone camera! There are plenty of scenes where the director chose to use non-cameraman cameras, viewing a zombie rush from close-quarters for example (when we know the story-line cameraman is not actually that close). With this logic, they could have safely chosen more panning shots, overhead shots, and other artful angles, with the end result of a more watchable film.

The length of the film was quite short, but the story was good enough that they could have fleshed it out even further. They could have added an X-Files-esque twist or added some additional walled- compound details. They did touch on this idea in some of the faux advertisements, so it would have been a logical addition.

The ending was abrupt, and a bit of a letdown. In my opinion, they should have gone a little "Hollywood" at the end, but I do understand why the ended the way they did. Overall, I'd give the ending a solid 5/10, but all the ingredients were there to have given it a spectacular ending. I think that was a missed opportunity.

Conclusion: It's a fun enough movie for zombie fans, and for those who are open to something that's a little lower budget. I wouldn't spend a lot of money to go see it, though.

The Counselor (2013)

Spectacularly disappointing, disjointed, and bizarre.

[2/10 · 16 February 2014]

I'll keep this straight forward:

1. There are several scenes which could be totally deleted without affecting the plot one iota. I find this obnoxious.

2. The acting, in particular Cameron Diaz, was quite bad. I don't dislike her as an actress, but it was clear that she basically phoned this one in. Barely any effort.

3. The small bits of horrifying violence (in particular, a scene in the last quarter of the movie) was unnecessary and actually served to further diminish my opinion of the film.

4. Even by the very end, the viewer is left with a feeling of, "wtf?" Who were these people supposed to be? Why should I care about any of them? Even the parts that are supposed to make you feel for one character in particular leave you feeling mostly just revolted. It wasn't a case of "ew, I can't handle disturbing scenes." It was more a feeling of, "oh for the love of Pete ... this is stupid."

5. Drug cartel bosses (or whoever the hell those guys were) waxing eloquent and philosophical just came of sounding stupid, instead of profound.

I gave it 2 stars. I rarely rate movies lower than 5. Don't watch this, you aren't missing anything.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

We liked this movie a lot.

[10/10 · 29 November 2009]

Quick demographic (to let you know if you will relate to my review). I am in my early 30s, and my wife is in her late 20s. We are the parents of a typical 10 year old boy and a typical 7 year old girl (and a 2 month old baby, but he doesn't exactly watch movies at this point haha). We are all fairly well educated, but not excessively literary or critical. We watch plenty of movies, but we also miss lots of movies.

Okay, we really really liked this movie. At first, I was worried because it seemed a little strange in the first few minutes. I was concerned about the animation, and the colors. I have never read any book related to this story, so I went with pretty much no other expectations. The movie is excellent. The character development is fantastic, the voices and voice acting were spectacularly done. The animation was really pleasant, and their funny little touches and attention to detail really make this an excellent movie.

My kids also really enjoyed the show. There was plenty of humor, and true-to-life situational humor to keep you chuckling almost all the way through the show. But at the same time, you really find yourself liking the characters, even the bad guys.

In a way, I feel that the show picked up on a lot of that which was good in early cartoons (like Bugs Bunny or Wile E Coyote), but in a modern, highly entertaining way. Not that this movie resembles those cartoons at all, because it doesn't ... just that there is an element to the humor that was used in those old shows that seems to be missing in most of the cartoons these days.

We all enjoyed this movie, and ARE recommending it to everyone we know.

Planet 51 (2009)

We all liked this film - This is a REAL review of the movie.

[7/10 · 29 November 2009]

First, I'll let you know about our demographic (to help you decide if you will relate to my review or not): I am a parent of a 10 year old boy, a 7 year old girl, and a 2 month old baby. I am in my early 30s, and my wife is in her late 20s. We are moderate movie-goers, as in, we watch a fair number of movies, and we miss a lot of movies. I am University educated, my kids are fairly typical of their age, and my wife is also fairly well educated.

We decided to go to this movie with our children at 9:20 PM on a Saturday Night which was actually also our 11th anniversary. It was a bit of a risk, and considering the rating that this movie seems to have, it could have ended horribly (considering it was our anniversary) We all quite enjoyed this movie. It's not overly complicated, but it's got a fairly unique plot, decent script, excellent character development, and it seems to steer clear of some of the more cliché stereotypes that could have plagued this type of movie.

It's pure fantasy, and it's nearly 100% kids movie, but we adults didn't have to "suffer" through it. My wife and I laughed heartily at much of the situational humour; both my kids laughed uproariously at most of the silly funny moments, and the situational humour. The visuals were quite pleasing, without being annoying (I find the latest 3D craze with so many movies rather annoying, for example). The voices were well cast, the scripts and voice-acting was well done and quite seamless. I didn't find myself thinking, "I know who that voice is!" at all, because it wasn't something that popped into my mind.

So, I gave this a 7. Why not higher?, you might ask. Well, it's not ground-breaking, it wasn't epic, and it wasn't a movie that leaves me thinking about something for a long time. It wasn't lower because there was nothing blatantly bad about this show. It was all enjoyable, and none of us regret having seen this show on our anniversary.

I hope my review helps you decide to go see this film :D