oscarnestell Reviews

The Polar Express (2004)

All Aboard!

[10/10 · 29 November 2004]

It's too bad critics just don't get it sometimes. They're negative reviews have most likely doomed the financial future of this great film.

Great? you say skeptically. So did I, till I found myself among an almost sold out crowd giving the film a standing ovation (along with the 200 or so other members of the theater audience). This film is something special. It will move you, no matter what your age.

Like Will Farrell's Buddy the elf from last Christmas, Tom Hanks' Conductor will join the characters of Christmas classics. His work, along with the rest of the film, will be talked about for years to come.

Alexander (2004)

Let in Conquer You!

[10/10 · 29 November 2004]

To paraphrase the legendary critic Roger Ebert, some directors are so talented that their failures are often way more interesting than most directors' successes. He was speaking of David Lynch at the time, though I have no doubt that the names Welles and Coppola probably entered his mind as well.

We are in a fruitful year for movies, and for brave directors. This year has already added two names to Mr. Ebert's list above. Audiences did not see the brilliance of Kerry Conran's SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW, nor do they seem to see what a special gift Robert Zemeckis has given us with THE POLAR EXPRESS. This is too bad. These films define the very reason why we should go to see movies in a theater rather than wait for the DVD. They take us out of our ordinary lives and in to fantastic worlds where we have never gone before. These films should be cherished for the gifts that they are.

Now, along comes a maverick director cut from the same cloth as Mr. Coppola.

Oliver Stone - no matter what you think of his politics - makes films that literally bounce of the screen and deserves to be added on to Mr. Eberts list. His films pulsate with energy and life that most films do not even come close to. His big five - JFK, WALL STREET, PLATOON, BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY, NIXON - are like beating hearts taped to a white screen in front of us. Every ounce of his legendary energy is sprayed on the screen like so many bullets from SCARFACE (another Stone production, initially panned by critics yet adored by fans).

Now comes Alexander, and the director is showing no signs of letting up or slowing down. Is the film flawless? Far from. Is the film great? You bet. This is a film that refuses to be pinned down by critics. It is a film of awe-inspiring beauty and brutality. Does it have some accents that need improving? You bet. Mr. Kilmer and Ms. Jolie are both in need of some dialect coaching here. Is the script flawless? Nope. But add together all the great things about the film and subtract the bad, and the fact is that this is still one hell of an experience. Much has been made of the depiction of Alexander's sexuality in this film. Is he gay? Nope. He's bi if you ask me. Is there gay love in the film? Yup. Is there some gay sex between Colin Farrell and Jared Leto? Nope. (All gay sexual content is hinted at, which is a little surprising considering how much hoopla has been made about it in the press). Are there strong FEMALE leads in the film? Yes. Not one, but two as Rosario Dawson and Angelina Jolie play tug-of-war as to who should really walk away with the film. And finally, there is one of the most spectacular battle scenes ever put on film.

So the final question is, should you treat yourself and spend some bucks on this spectacle? Hell yes!

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)

Swung the election ... for President Bush!!

[7 November 2004]

Well, Michael Moore wanted this film to affect the outcome of last Presidential election. I don't think that he had thought that some of his outlandish claims would actually turn people out FOR President Bush!

Commenting on this film is like commenting on that other polarizing film event of 2004, THE PASSION OF THE Christ. Let's get this straight ... FAHRENHEIT 9/11 is NOT a documentary. There is not one fact in this film that is not twisted to fit in to some slender political ideology.

But, that does not mean that Michael Moore does not make some valid points with his work. Believe it or not, I am a big fan of what Mr. Moore does. Mr. Moore asks people questions, and sometimes he tries to hold them accountable. I like that. I encourage that. I support that. I just disagree with some of his methods (the ends do not always justify the means), and with some of his conclusions.

So my suggestion would be this ... see the film. Then, if you don't like Michael Moore, go out with a camera and start asking your own questions. I dare say Michael himself would applaud you, no matter what your political leaning!

Vanity Fair (2004)

Made me want to read the book

[8/10 · 9 September 2004]

I don't really know where to start with this film. At the outset, I suppose that I should make it known that I have not read the Thackeray novel upon which the film is based, and that may explain why I had some problems following along with the story. There is one sequence, in which Ms. Witherspoon and James Purefoy discuss getting married, and then - poof - they are married. That is all good and fine, but it did not come across clearly, and so this jump cut in the story forced me out of the film, and I then felt that I had to play catch up with the material. BUT, the film did make me run to the nearest book store to pick up a copy of the novel, and any film that can do that can't be all bad!

8/10 stars

Inside the Actors Studio (1994– )

Castrated

[30 December 2003]

Ok. I used to like this show. But after a while you realize that James Lipton does nothing but kiss butt. He is, simply put, the worst brown-noser ever. A wannabe who now runs a show that is becoming increasingly softball. Lipton has never, EVER posed a question that has even come close to being a hardball question. He slobbers his guests with wet kisses. Sure, in the process, some interesting info comes out, but it comes out because the guest lets it out, not because of Lipton.

And take a look at the recent roster of guests. Naomi Watts ... huh? Could it possibly be that she has a movie called "21 Grams" coming out that very week? Jude Law ... I'm sure the impending premiere of "Cold Mountain" had absolutely nothing to do with his appearance. And now? JAY LENO ... I guess he'll be filed under such great actors as BILLY JOEL, another guest on "Inside the ACTOR'S Studio".

In booking these last two guests, I guess Lipton was too busy kissing someones butt to realize that some of his guests are not actors at all.

Used to be a great show, but as Lipton slobbers his way to fame, the show becomes more and more castrated.

The Hours (2002)

Surprisingly not a 10

[8/10 · 20 November 2003]

Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Stephen Dillane, John C. Reilly, Ed Harris, Miranda Richardson, Allison Janney, Claire Danes, Jeff Daniels, Eileen Atkins, Toni Collette, and Claire Danes. Even with this cast, though, I couldn't get myself to give this film a 10. For some reason, I felt unattached to the Nicole Kidman - Stephen Dillane segment.

Not surprisingly, I was most affected by the Meryl Streep - Ed Harris segment. I thought that their unrequited love, which is brought to both characters attention constantly, was genuinely constructed by all the characters involved. It shows how this unrequited love affects not only Ms. Streep and Mr. Harris, but also Ms. Janney and Mr. Daniels. Everyone in the segment knows that Ms. Streep and Mr. Harris should have been together, and that in most intimate ways, they are.

The segment that I found myself most drawn to was the Julianne Moore - John C. Reilly segment. Watching Ms. Moore hide her true feelings from her son and Mr. Reilly was heartwrenching. And while Mr. Reilly has the face of a true character actor, I am constantly amazed at the emotions that come across on Ms. Moore's face. She has a face as smooth and beautiful as a Michaelangelo statue ... a porcelain skin too beautiful for words. And yet she manages to use this face as an awesome tool in her considerble acting resource "closet". This becomes very clear as her face is hidden beneath latex in later scenes. Underneath the latex, she becomes less interesting and lucky for us director Stephen Daldry notices this as well and keeps that scene as short as possible.

Unfortunately Ms. Kidman does not fare as well. Her performance - and that of Stephen Dillane - is great, no doubts about it. But for some reason I was strangely uninvolved in her segment. I found the other two to be so much less conventional that this segment, even anchored by the great work of Mr. Dillane and Ms. Kidman, seemed somewhat pedestrian. I venture to guess that this segment was the easiest to write and direct.

In the end, I thought it was cool the way Harold Pinter and Stephen Daldry tied it all together. Thematically it was tied together all the way through, but they really tie it up well.

Perhaps the greatest comment I can give the movie is to say that I am curious to read MRS. DALLOWAY now. That, and that the film would make a great double feature with Ms. Moore's FAR FROM HEAVEN.

Life as a House (2001)

For those who are just beginning to notice Hayden Christensen

[20 November 2003]

This film is not perfect. It gets a little soft and mushy in some areas. But for those who can look beyond, it has two great things going for it ... namely Kevin Kline and Hayden Christensen. For those of you who are just now beginning to notice Mr. Christensen - for his work in SHATTERED GLASS - take a look here. While SHATTERED GLASS is a great performance, in this earlier pre-STAR WARS performance, Mr. Christensen is called upon to go toe-to-toe with the great Kevin Kline. Not many young actors could do this as well as he does here. Mr. Kline gives it his all (as is his usual modus operandi) and thereby forces Mr. Christensen to do the same. The result is two great performances in a film that ultimately lets them down by taking the obvious pull-at-your-heartstrings way out. Unfortunate.

Avalon (1990)

Great Acting in a film by a Director at the top of his game

[9/10 · 20 November 2003]

Great performances by Armin Mueller-Stahl, Aidan Quinn, Kevin Pollak, Elizabeth Perkins, Joan Plowright, and a nine year old Elijah Wood anchor this beautiful love letter to the days of oral storytelling, the immigrant experience, and the Baltimore of director Barry Levinson's childhood.

As in most of Mr. Levinson's work (including HOMICIDE), where this piece shines is in the dialogue. And the by play between Mr. Mueller-Stahl, Mr. Quinn, and Mr. Wood - portraying three generations of the same family - provides for some truly touching verbal interaction. And the film plays these themes in other ways as well, primarily by contrasting the oral storytelling technique preferred by Mr. Mueller-Stahl and the television, preferred by the slightly snake-oily dreamer played by Kevin Pollak.

While the overall "look" of the film, as created by Allen Daviau and Mr. Levinson, may be a little sugary I hope that this won't stop you from enjoying the great script, some truly wonderful images, and top notch acting that is AVALON.

Elf (2003)

Go and Enjoy!

[9/10 · 17 November 2003]

Who knew that it would take the writer of SWINGERS to direct the latest Christmas classic?

At the top of this, I would like to thank Jon Favreau for pointing out that Bob Newhart will never go out of style.

Mr. Favreau brings a breezy swirling-cocktail style to this project. The homages to the classic Christmas tv of the 60's and the sight of Will Farrell in yellow tights makes for one of the best Christmas movies since George C. Scott assumed the role of Ebenezer Scrooge. No one but Mr. Farrell could have pulled this off, and no director could have made the movie seem hip, other than Mr. Favreau.

And, to boot, it has one of the best and most exciting "Santa and the reindeer" scenes ever put on film.

Cold Case (2003–2010)

Good Idea needs better material

[5 October 2003]

I agree that the Skakel case has been a little over used by television of late. What surprised me here is that a new show, purporting that "people shouldn't be forgotten", would choose to use such a famous and media covered case for its premiere episode. I'm sure that all of this nation's police departments have 'cold cases' that would prove to more compelling simply because they are not turned in to movie-of-the-weeks or best sellers. I hope that the producers choose more compelling material to cover in the future episodes. They should be reminded that the always compelling LAW AND ORDER franchise airs 24/7 on cable.

Cabin Fever (2002)

Awful!

[1/10 · 14 September 2003]

This dreck is simply awful. There is no other way to describe it. Scary? Not in this lifetime. Suspenseful? Suspense depends on the audience being able to follow the plot, of which there is none here. As for the Peter Jackson reviews? He must have this film confused with another. The one star? IMDB will not permit less than one star, and because of this, I grant it to actress Cerina Vincent, who never fails to find a reason to lose all her clothing.

Enemy at the Gates (2001)

Should be taught in film class.

[9/10 · 18 August 2003]

Imagine the pitch:

A game of cat-and-mouse = great! A game of cat-and-mouse between two snipers = even better! Make it a true story = whoa! Make it a war story = WHOA! Shoot it on rarely seen actual locations = hubba hubba! Cast it with an international A-list = excellent! Include perennial Academy-Award nominee Ed Harris = superb! Make the antagonist a Nazi = should be no problem for an audience to want to see HIS comeuppance!

And now ... make the protagonists a Communist sniper and a Communist propaganda officer (Law and Fiennes, respectively)!

This is exactly the task that director Jean-Jacques Annaud faced with ENEMY AT THE GATES. How does one make a movie where the GOOD guys work for Stalin, one of the most hideous human beings ever to walk the earth?

Answer: Start with the script. By making the decision to give Mr. Fiennes and Mr. Law's characters dimensionality through love and friendships, the script is creating characters the audience can relate to. By the simple act of withholding the same information about Mr. Harris' Nazi, the script makes him a more dangerous antagonist who is already cold hearted and cunning (he uses a child to his advantage in a much more effective way than your standard movie villain). Throw in a woman who is unwilling to sit on the sidelines as war threatens to determine her fate (Weisz), and you have four compelling characters to lead your story.

Next comes casting. Casting an actor that the audience inherently has come to trust over the years - Ed Harris - as a Nazi sniper antagonist, adds dimension to the film. All of a sudden, the audience is asked to take sides, not merely shoved one way or the other.

Next comes the setting. By choosing to set the film in a place that is cold, unforgiving, and unrelenting on its best days (not to mention war) adds necessary tension and desperation. Then throw in utterly graphic and realistic war violence. Take all this and wrap it around a true story and you have a combination that should make an audience's stomach tie itself in to knots.

Finally, hire a director. Who better for this hard-to-sell story than a man who has made a career out of untellable stories such as THE BEAR and QUEST FOR FIRE?

Finally, then ... an undeservingly overlooked film that is certainly better than most everything else on the shelves of your local video store.

The Jack Bull (1999 TV Movie)

Better Than You Expect

[8/10 · 18 August 2003]

To those of us who follow any of HBO's original programming, it should come as no surprise that a film on the level of THE JACK BULL premieres on HBO. While the folks out in Hollywood are busy heaping money on so-called films such as AMERICAN OUTLAWS and TEXAS RANGERS, leave it to HBO and John Cusak to come up with the good stuff. Though the big screen fare is far glossier (and no doubt costlier), Cusak's gritty western is simply far superior. Boasting a cast including Cusak, John C. McGinley, John Goodman, and L. Q. Jones, the film out-acts its big screen competitors by a mile and a half. Combine it with a cold, smart, gritty screenplay by Cusak's dad and strong direction by John Badham and you have a film worthy of inclusion among really good Westerns.

f you want to see Ashton Kutcher, James Van Der Beek, Colin Farrell, or Usher Raymond, you'll have to rent the other two. But if you want to see something more on par with Clint Eastwood's UNFORGIVEN, well then, THE JACK BULL is calling your name!

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life (2003)

Headache-inducing Cradle of Death is more like it. SPOILER!

[3/10 · 28 July 2003]

Dear Ms. Jolie and Mr. DeBont:

First - Ms Jolie. I love you. I think you are a great actress. However, you need to remember this when you sign on to a script such as this. YOU and Lady Croft both deserve much better material. You must realize - upon seeing the film - that it is the small moments that work best, and they are the only moments that work in this film.

Mr. DeBont - one would have thought that you would have learned your lesson after debacles such as SPEED 2 and THE HAUNTING. Bigger is not necessarily better, and we all know that louder never means better. The noise that accompanies this film is deafening, and I understand that you must have been using it to make up for a script. You did do two things right when you cast Djimon Honsou and Gerard Butler, but unfortunately every other decision you made during this production goes awry. Not even Ms. Jolie can save this.

Good news in the end, though. Ms. Jolie - your next picture can not be any worse than this, so you have no where to go but up. That's a good thing for people like me who are devoted fans.

Mr. DeBont - again, your track record is getting worse and worse. Maybe it is time for you to take a break from directing and go back to being a cinematographer for a while?

Sincerely, Oscar

PS - Bruce from FINDING NEMO looked more realistic than the shark you concocted for this misfire.

Seabiscuit (2003)

Loses the Race by a nose!

[7/10 · 27 July 2003]

Many have hailed this film as one of the best of the year. Though it may well be, that is a sad comment on the films this year. The fact is that many directors seem to be afraid to let their films fly, and apparently Gary Ross is no different. There is no doubt that this is a technically superior film (and it is a pleasure to watch Chris Cooper, Jeff Bridges and Tobey Maguire do what apparently comes naturally to them). But what differentiates a good film from a great film is that those involved with the great film show confidence while those involved with a good film hedge their bets at the last second. This is a film that screams "let me fly", but Mr. Ross simply will not let it. He holds back right at the moments where the audience wants him to let his film loose.

Those involved with the real horse showed the confidence necessary to win. It is unfortunate that those involved behind the cameras on this project did not learn that important lesson.

Empire Records (1995)

Nice time browsing in this store!

[8/10 · 25 June 2003]

Let's see what we have here: Anthony LaPaglia losing his store and his hair, Liv Tyler on speed throwing her virginity at a George Michael wannabe, a pre-superstar Renee Zellweger as the slut with a heart of gold, Robin Tunney as a slit-wrist Sinead O'Connor, Debi Mazar as the night manager, Ethan Embry being killed by GWAR, and GREASE 2's Maxwell Caulfield as a hair-impaired pop icon wannabe. And the funny thing is, we've all known these people ... and in some way, we've all been to Empire Records (for me, it's the legendary Princeton Record Exchange).

So, the film has the cast, it has the "feel", and it certainly has the music. Sadly it also lacks any real story and that is what stops the film from reaching the heights of a BARBERSHOP or ALMOST FAMOUS.

8 out of 10.

Bulletproof Monk (2003)

Not nearly as bad as the critics say

[6/10 · 8 May 2003]

I found myself entertained by this movie. That said, I couldn't really recommend my friends go pay to see this in the theaters. The film has flaws. It runs too long, a lot of the fight sequences are cut in MTV style, and the film is forgettable way before it ends. And there is no doubt that Mr. Yun-Fat, Mr. Scott, and Ms. King all deserve much better material to work with.

Overall, this is a film that probably looked great on paper, was executed poorly, and was saved by the combined charisma of it's three leading actors.

6 out of 10.

The Transporter (2002)

Are you kidding me?!?

[1/10 · 15 April 2003]

There are plot holes big enough to drive a black BMW through in this film! Sure, the butt-kicking scenes are fun, but I'd rather get beaten to a pulp than watch a movie this dumb. I agree that the leads, especially Mr. Statham, should become big stars, but they're going to need much better material than this to do the job.

The Hunted (2003)

Where have I seen this before?

[1/10 · 15 April 2003]

The Fugitive + any Steven Segal movie + US Marshals + any action movie cliche you can think of + hints of Friedkin's own The French Connection > The Hunted. In other words, save the $10 and watch any action movie playing on TBS.

The Core (2003)

The Bore is right

[1/10 · 30 March 2003]

God awful. The film is 2hrs 30min of crap. There are so many holes in this thing that the earth's core can fit through that I can't even begin to count them. The one star? IMDB won't let me vote less, so I give it to DJ Qualls, who is as close to "entertaining" as this movie gets.

Pure and utter crap with science that I learned if fith grade.