tribblechomper Reviews

Firestarter: Rekindled (2002)

Oh, crap!

[1/10 · 29 July 2008]

In both the book and the first movie, John Rainbird is quick-fried by Charlie...old boy is deader than Dubya's chances of re-election! The book also describes Rainbird as a Native American; correct me if I'm wrong, but neither George C. Scott (in the first movie) nor Malcolm McDowell (in the second) struck me as even trying to look Native American!!! Now, are we to believe that you can look like the guy who played Patton, get quick-cooked, and come back looking like the guy that killed Captain James T. Kirk? Are we also to believe that you can have an accent of one who hails from Wise, Virginia, get roasted, and suddenly have the accent of one raised in Leeds, England? Just how MANY Native Americans raised on the reservation have British accents, anyway?

The Music Man (2003 TV Movie)

Another one won over

[10/10 · 21 February 2008]

I agree with the earlier poster that said Broderick's style was better capable of running a con than Preston's style was...but this movie held a massive surprise in the 10-foot-tall vocals of 4-foot-11 Kristin Chenoweth...I was so blown away by that voice, I came here to see her other work and got the biggest shock of my life: There was a reason her last name sounded so familiar, and IMDb filled in the missing clue...she graduated Broken Arrow Senior High School roughly 6 years after I did!!! Her older brother was a junior in my senior year!!! Of course, she went on to play the original Broadway Cast role of Galinda (later "Glinda The Good Witch") in the Broadway musical "Wicked"...and now is Olive in "Pushing Daisies" with fellow Oklahoman Lee Pace and fellow Broadway-belter Ellen Greene.

Musically excellent...Major-league cute...

Oh, I'm so hoping for more "Daisies"...

Merlin's Apprentice (2006)

Total Sam Neill "did-it-for-the-paycheck" Movie

[2/10 · 5 February 2007]

Completely tossing out the window the events of the original miniseries, as well as the reasons Merlin did what he did, this execrable excuse for a quasi-sequel sucked like a vacuum cleaner on hyperdrive.

Miranda Richardson repeating as The Lady In The Lake, good; looking like Queen Mab in her golden years (instead of the albino-white of the miniseries), and having placed a spell on Merlin so he slept (while she essentially raped him) 50 years...? I really wanted to like this (and yes, I saw both parts, and the featurette), but this was just too horrid for words!

Zorrita: Passion's Avenger (2000)

Amazing isn't it?

[8 August 2006]

That Bella, a poor but chaste woman in the California of the 1800s (well before the advent of plastic surgery), should have to mete out justice with a sword and two hugely bee-stung breasts that stand up when she's on her back, not moving/flexing/shifting one iota; why, it's like she's smuggling basketballs! I haven't seen chemistry this subdued since I mixed Kool-Aid powder into a pitcher of water...the only difference is that Kool-Aid has taste...I've seen hornier Dead People! Shauna O'Brien is nice to look at...but I'd sleep with a pile of skunks before I'd touch that!

Save your rentals, folks...Zorrita's a snoozerama!

Galaxy Quest (1999)

Could we be this lucky? A sequel to GalaxyQuest?

[2 January 2005]

I came across a website that reported that the Great Minds behind GQ were planning a sequel; no details as of yet, but what I'd love to see? Jason Nesmith's acting teacher taking him to task for overacting...said teacher played by Bill Shatner!! WOULDN'T THAT JUST ROCK? I'm checking to see if I can get verification on this, and will update this comment as soon as I have that verification. As far as this movie is concerned, I would've loved to see some merchandising come out as a result of this movie...uniforms, toys, maybe even a model kit? I just totally fell like a ton of bricks for Missi Pyle...I want to see her return as "Jane Doe", and see some other alien menace threaten the stability of the galaxy, and have the Galaxy Quest group charge in once more to save the universe. I wonder if there are any other science-fiction clichés left untouched that could be mercilessly exploited...ideas, anybody?

Chain Reaction (1996)

Entered this into the goofs section; if it fails to take...

[19 September 2004]

Upper-level museum chase...Reeves and Weisz somehow go from the upper level of The Field Museum of Natural History [the cavemen], located at 1400 S Lake Shore Drive...to the upper level of The Museum of Science and Technology [the jet airliner], located at 5700 S Lake Shore Drive; now, we in Chicago do value the educational process, we really do...but I can tell you that none of our museums are that huge! We're talking a distance of 5.4 miles between museums, and as far as I know, neither museum has either a stable wormhole [Deep Space Nine], a transporter, or a Stargate. It's so laughably hilarious...maybe the filmmakers knew they had a dud on their hands, and thought that maybe the folks in Chicago would never notice...BWAH-HAHAHAHA!

Gargoyles (1994–1997)

Gargoyles [syn.] Rocked; Goliath Chronicles SUCKED!

[6 June 2003]

When it was syndicated [read: Free of Network Interference], the stories WERE tighter/more focused...they got away with more stuff because the Standards & Practices folks weren't saying,"No...we can't have it look like Elisa Maza is falling for Goliath!!" Now, be honest...towards the end of the syndicated run, weren't we seeing a precursor to Disney's "Beauty & the Beast"? The moves, the cape-/cloak-like appearance of the gargoyle wings vs. Beast's cloak?

There was some fool talk of a live-action "Gargoyles" based on the toon, but with only ONE GARGOYLE [Goliath]; thankfully, that's gone off the boards [for now]! IF, however, "HULK" Smash Box Office...????