munchiesme Reviews

Beyond the Shadows (2020)

Avoid this movie.

[1/10 · 21 February 2021]

Everything about the movie is bad. I can't name a single part of the movie that is done competently. I wasn't expecting a masterpiece but I was at least expecting something that could resemble entertainment. That being said, the guy who runs the lodge is at least having fun with it. He knows this movie is trash so at least he seems to be having a good time with his silly character. Feel free to skip this movie.

Door in the Woods (2019)

It's crap, but watch it any way.

[3/10 · 5 November 2019]

The movie itself is pretty bad but there is one glimmer of hope. I can't spoil anything here but the psychic is worth checking out the movie. I know it's very serious and the drama of movie is totally deep, but then the psychic opens his mouth and you remember this movie is pretty dumb. So sit back turn off your brain and just enjoy that guy.

The Warning (II) (2015)

Avoid this one

[2/10 · 28 October 2019]

Sometimes when an actor flubs their lines the director will make them do another take. That was just a little piece of advice please feel free to ignore it if you want. If you ever saw Blair Witch then you've already seen this movie there is no need to watch it. I am writing this review 2/3rd's into the movie but if there is a scene with a threesome near the end I will edit this review. Fingers crossed.

Bad Ben: The Way In (2019)

You seem to really like making these movies

[9/10 · 15 July 2019]

I mean it's the same movie but you do seem to enjoy it. And hey it was fun, silly but fun. The thing you did with the ashes did get me to laugh. I was expecting some sort of smoke monster from LOST special effect but what you did was so much better. You know what screw it I think I'm a fan. I have no idea how that happened but I think I'm unironically a fan. There was that scene where it sounds like you've already set up a sequel so heck you do you man. Keep cranking them out.

Anonymous Zombie (2018)

Bad on a whole new level.

[1/10 · 12 October 2018]

Pretty plain and simple, the scary stuff isn't scary, the funny stuff isn't funny, and the stuff in between is simply poorly written. It seemed like a fun concept of screw ups battling zombies but wow they just threw away that potential and replaced it with dreck. Feel free to skip this one.

Kingdom Come (2014)

Some of the Twilight Zone episodes are online, just watch those.

[3/10 · 27 January 2015]

The movie opens with questions and fear of the unknown. Where are our characters and what sort of craziness have they gotten into? Oh wait no you'll figure it out in about 30 seconds because the writers spell it out for you. Every single twist and character development is nicely packaged with a lovely little bow leaving nothing to your imagination. I do appreciate it when the movie does all my thinking for me so I can go back to checking my email on my smart phone.

The movie does have a few positives such as every now and then some of the actors will let their Canadian accents slip out and that's always good for a few laughs. Please let him say sorry a few more times, oh that's adorable. Oh and there is some unneeded nudity which is always a win.

In short if these people would have woken up instead on that island from Lost, you would be rooting for the smoke monster the entire time. See ya on the island.

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011 Video)

So none of these kids have an iPhone with GPS huh?

[22 October 2011]

What was sure to be a fun filled romp in the woods complete with girl on girl action, takes a horrible turn. On the lighter side there are some lovely Fondue recipes in this movie that come with the Hannibal Lecter seal of approval. Not to say that everything in this movie is predictable (if you're drunk) but if you're sober then yeah its pretty cut and paste.

If you thought, like I did, that maybe this was some sort of prequel and you could watch the beginning of this now direct to DVD series then oh boy are you in for some crap. Pay very close attention to the scenes before the opening credits because that's all the back-story you're going to get. So in short if you'd like to see some kids get cut up for about 90 minutes and you don't mind turning off your brain, then yeah you may dig this movie.

My advice, go watch Silence of the Lambs or maybe Red Dragon, now those are some good movies right there. Also, if you happen to be in West Virginia and camping with your friends, invest in an iPhone. At the very least, get a Tom Tom.

Held Up (2010 TV Movie)

Have a couple cocktails, then this movie isn't so bad.

[6/10 · 1 July 2011]

This movie isn't going to win any awards but it has some genuinely funny scenes. The acting is... well the script is... um alright but honestly it does have some pretty funny scenes every 10 minutes or so. The reason I'm giving it a 6 is I went in with crappy expectations and found myself laughing more than I expected. Some of the background characters I remember from other TV shows and feel just sort of good to see them working. Even if they have no real lines I feel good just thinking to myself, "hey isn't that the lesbian from that Silverman show". Silverman, I wonder what she's doing these days. You know that reminds me that "I'm bleeping Matt Damon" video was pretty funny, I should you tube that.

If you've had a couple cocktails then you will probably like this movie. And if you like It's Always Sunny then you'll dig Kaitlin. It's not the best, not the worst, but descent.