My_Pet_Mongoose Reviews

Now You See Me (I) (2013)

Now Don't See This

[3/10 · 5 September 2013]

The closer you look, the more you can see how idiotic this film is. It's pretty much Fast & Furious with magicians rather than street racers.

You have: underdeveloped, bland characters; more plot holes than actual plot; unconvincing stage illusions; all-powerful hypnotism; a reliance on kewl visual gimmickry manifested with lazy, second-rate CG effects; clichéd writing; groan-worthy dialogue; dull action sequences; and a complete inability to generate suspense or interest. Nothing about the plot, the plot twists that are simultaneously preposterous and expected, people's motivations, or the magic holds up to even the slightest scrutiny.

1 star (mandatory) + 1 star (for the rabbit--the movie's only believable character) + 1 star (since it didn't preach racism or advocate polygamy or anything weird like that) = 3 stars.

Oblivion (I) (2013)

Style Over Substance (But it's a style I like)

[7/10 · 25 July 2013]

THIS REVIEW *DOES* CONTAIN SPOILERS.

Oblivion is almost very nearly the film that it so desperately wants to be: an intelligent, meditative, mind-blowing, sci-fi action epic about Humanity's last stand against a monstrous alien threat.

I absolutely adored the look of the film--the comfy little house in the clouds, the not-your-father's-Jetsons-car, the shattered Moon, the empty wasteland vistas of a ruined Earth, and the not-your-father's-ED209s-drones. The art direction, cinematography and direction come together to make this, for me, a very rich visual experience. I'll take this sort of thing any day over the A.D.D. chaos of a Transformers film or the seen-it-already visuals of the Star Trek reboots. It scratched every kewl sci-fi itch I had. The director knows his visuals.

The acting is solid, though its nothing that will end up on anyone's highlight reel. Cruise's character of Harper gets the lion's share of development here. Everyone else is sketched a bit too generically to be memorable (a common fault with movies budgeted at over $50 million nowadays).

Unfortunately, the movie fails in the plotting department and takes too many cues from other films. Is it too much to ask for my smart sci-fi films to be smart? I don't mean "not really stupid" but actually smart. Is that possible? Case in point: It's implied that the cloning of Jack and Victoria by the Tet assists it in draining the earth of its natural resources. But, given the technology level of the Tet, this clone work force doesn't seem particularly necessary to justify the elaborate process. I hard sci-fi story would have and I found Oblivion's laziness disappointing.

I gather the Tet somehow downloaded the minds of the original specimens to keep their skill sets but then modified the memory portions to keep the clones under control (explaining away the changes with a security memory-wipe fiction). There are too many questions here and no answers, which is problematic when the conceit is so central to the storyline.

Other quibbles include Victoria's gray dress and heels. Why exactly? So she can play Suzy homemaker in the sky? Seemed a little sexist. Morgan Freeman's goggle-shades just seemed weird. Everyone had cool guns, though, so there's that (priorities!). But, in the final action sequence, Cruise dives out of the way of a slow-moving fireball in a trope that's 20 years past its expiration date.

I'd also like alien invasion film in which we defeat the baddies in some way OTHER than:

1. The aliens making a grave miscalculation about hospitable conditions on Earth and perish (Signs, War of the Worlds).

2. Us nuking the mothership (everything else).

Still, I found the faults of Oblivion mostly manageable in comparison to other the far dumber sci-fi action flicks of recent years (Cowboys & Aliens, Battleship, Transformers, Star Trek reboots, etc.) and really enjoyed myself. For me, the spectacular look of the film is enough.

Darkman (1990)

Don't Call Me, Darkman, I'll Call You...

[5/10 · 23 July 2013]

I haven't seen this film in 20 years and, on a recent re-viewing, realized why. This is a movie that wants to tell the story of a poor, tragic soul ala the Universal films of 1930s or one of the tormented superhero outcasts like Swamp Thing or the Hulk.

Unfortunately, any dramatic insight or emotion is buried under a hackneyed script, generic characters and ill-conceived cartoony gags. Both of these are very nearly fatal flaws. I guess all of those credited screenwriters canceled each other out.

The acting is a little hit or miss. The principals are good when not directed to mug like idiots for the camera. McDormand easily comes off the best here and manages to elevate her scenes.

The action is B-level for the era. The direction is not even close to Raimi's best, though the small homages to 30s film-making were appreciated.

I like the premise, I just wish they made a better movie with it.

Recommended for uhh...burn victims, I guess. Finally you get a superhero of your very own!

The Long Good Friday (1980)

The Too Long Good Friday

[6/10 · 21 July 2013]

This wasn't quite the classic noir gangster film I was hoping it was going to be, but it's certainly worth a view if you're into that sort of thing (I am).

For the positives you have a solid cast, led by Hoskins and Mirren. I didn't quite buy Hoskins in a couple of the early scenes (notably the Hands Across the Pond speech and his first big scene with his assembled cronies) but the totality of the performance is very compelling, especially his ill-fated outro. Mirren is great as the only deft and clever (and sexy) member of his entourage.

The dialogue--the bits of it I could understand of it anyway--was well-written, and that's always appreciated.

The movie also sported some great, lived-in locations that gives the movie a bit of scummy charm that would have been overly glossed if made today.

For the negatives you are pretty much stuck with a rather clueless and boorish main character whose redeeming qualities are few and far between. Good person? No. Good gangster? No. Good protagonist? Debatable. I found it really hard to care about Shand and his tribulations or his inevitable downfall. The last scene would have been killer if I gave a crap (I did not) and how that scene works for you is probably the litmus test for the whole movie.

Though, to be fair, Harold Shand is a cuddly teddy bear next to twitchy psycho Tony Montana, mad-dog psycho sexy beast Don Logan, and the not-psycho but still a serial murderer from Get Carter (I forget his name).

The pacing is also a little slow. The first 2/3 has too many befuddled gangster scenes and not enough tension. The last 1/3 is all "wake me when Hoskins buys it". My attention wandered in a couple of scenes and it really could have been trimmed by 10 minutes or so.

Still there's enough compelling content for a look, especially if you're a fan of Hoskins, Mirren, gangsters, or shady urban-renewal projects.

Family Weekend (2013)

Family Weeked, Not Family Comedy

[7/10 · 23 June 2013]

This was a pretty solid and unexpected comedy. I laughed out loud quite a bit and enjoyed the nicely drawn character interactions. The whole production was several steps above what I was expecting (for a film with not much fanfare).

The cast is excellent top to bottom. Kristin Chenoweth brings her usual spark. Matthew Modine, an actor I've found to be more miss than hit over the years, brings a self-absorbed charm to his part. But it's Olesya Rulin who fully inhabits her character that really propels the movie forward and serves as the heart, soul and brain of the movie. I fell in love with the character as soon as she compiled and presented a neat three-binder of The Plan.

The other characters in the family are a bit too obvious in their stereotypes but the actors manage to elevate the material enough to avoid broad caricatures. The story beats are familiar and expected, but I was charmed enough by the production to not really mind.

The movie does suffer from an odd identity crisis, though. It's rated R--a soft R with slight profanity and sexual discussion (such as anal sex) but no gore, sustained raunchiness or similar content. It's a wonder to think that this rather innocuous movie has the same rating as the Saw or Hangover films. I'm not sure if they were going for a PG-13, missed the mark, and didn't have enough cash to re-cut it or if this was planned as an R movie.

The movie probably would have done better with the larger potential audience of a PG-13 rating, especially given the 16-year old protagonist and the family-based storyline.

Recommended for those who like quirky family comedies with a slight edge to them (Little Miss Sunshine-ish) and for competitive jump-rope enthusiasts (which I did not know was a thing).

Walking Tall (2004)

74 Minutes of Pure "Seen It All Before"

[4/10 · 23 June 2013]

This was pretty much as I was expecting--a watered-down, generic action vehicle for Dwayne Johnson. It's pretty much why I waited eight years to check it out.

Johnson has the charisma and stature of a serious action star but now, 10 years into his film career, I can't name any iconic characters that he's played or flat-out great films that he's been in. In the same amount of time (say 1982 to 1992) Arnie was already Conan and the Terminator and in Predator, Twins and Total Recall. Johnson is a man who needs to headline a top-tier action franchise and he needs it now (F&F and GI Joe are more ensemble pieces).

That being said, Walking Tall is sorely lacking in substance and flair. The working-class, flag-waving, take-no-BS attitude is completely canned and the storyline is best forgotten (which is easy enough). It has virtually no connection to the original Buford Pusser events or the previous adaptations, to it's discredit.

I had to entertain myself for much of the second half with an awesome idea for "Walking Bad" in which the Chris Vaughn character moves to New Mexico and takes on Walter White.

WALTER WHITE: I'm the one who knocks.

CHRIS VAUGHN: I'm the one who knocks...teeth out with my Vaughn stick.

Only recommended if you absolutely *heart* the Rock or have never seen an episode of the A-Team, read a Jack Reacher novel, seen Roadhouse, are tired of watching the Rundown, etc. and your roommate accidentally left his DVD when he moved out and you have nothing better to do.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)

Fast & Furious 3 "Now With Turning!"

[4/10 · 18 June 2013]

It took me a while to get around to this one given that it's the other Fast & Furious movie--the one without any of the main cast in it (save for a couple of cameos). It wasn't really worth the wait.

Justin Lin brings some energy to the proceedings but the movie can't escape the lack of star power, unconvincing characters, lackluster romance, and formulaic script. Also, Sonny Chiba doesn't beat the crap out of anyone, which made me sad.

The cars looked nice, but I'm not a car guy so the particulars were probably lost on me. I didn't quite understand the point of the drift racing. If I spent many months of income on pimping out my Mazda I don't think I'd want to slam it through a parking garage at top speed. I guess Tokyo doesn't have much of a nightlife and people have to make their own fun.

Super-fans of the franchise will probably want to take a look. Every one else can probably skip it.

Kinky Boots (2005)

More Boots Than Kinky

[7/10 · 16 June 2013]

This is another one of those quirky working-class character-based comedies that the Brits seem to specialize in (ala the Full Monty) and it's a pretty good one. With drag queens.

I thought it was particularly well cast with the two main leads (Edgerton and, particularly, Ejiofor) who do a tremendous job bringing these characters to life. Ejiofor's portrayal of Lola/Simon is quite clearly the big draw here. It's a rich part and he plays it for all it's worth.

Other than the sharply-drawn characters you have the standard culture-clash stuff, can-do industrial spirit and lite romantic comedy. It's certainly a formula picture and the veteran movie-goer will be able to see all of the story beats coming. A little more ramped-up Lola-energy would have been appreciated to shake things up. Sex may be in the heel, but there really isn't any of it in the movie. And there's a forced conflict towards the end for the sake of dramatic tension but it's completely unconvincing.

Still, I'm a sucker for misfit characters and inspirational stories of reinvention so I'll give it a pass on the faults. I also now feel very self-conscious that none of my footwear is equipped with whip holsters--a lapse that will soon be rectified, I assure you.

Recommended for fans of Brit comedies and/or drag queens. You know who you are.

The Watch (I) (2012)

Who Watches The Watch?

[5/10 · 15 June 2013]

Honestly, I liked this better than I thought I would. For the good, I found some of the comedic riffing (even as infatuated with genitalia and genitalia-related fluids as it was) to be good for a laugh or two. None of it is particularly witty or eloquent, but its delivered with skill and has a certain vulgar charm.

For the bad, the script, characters and production are strictly generic. The aliens don't make much sense and their only unique trait is their vulnerability. It feels that the screenwriters knew the script was thin, got drunk, and convinced themselves writing in a third-rate alien invasion plot line was a good idea.

Also, I spent half the movie wondering if it should be criticized for featuring Costco so prominently or that the ubiquity of big box stores in our banal suburban consumer hellscapes make such a tie-in necessary to capture modern American life. But I was probably overthinking it.

Give it a try if you've worn out your DVDs of Knocked Up, Dodgeball and Superbad and want a bit more of the same done not so well. Even so, you'll likely forget it soon after and not feel inclined to revisit it.

Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

Quirky and Sweet Comedy-Drama

[7/10 · 15 June 2013]

I quite enjoyed this film. It felt more like a novel than a movie with its complex characters and their changing attitudes of one another. The material is nuanced and handled with deftness by the directors and the excellent cast. The filmmakers had enough trust in their actors (and the audience) to leave a lot of the characterizations to simple looks and fleeting expressions. Such restraint goes a long way towards softening and humanizing otherwise over-the-top characters and is welcome indeed.

Arkin is great in a showy, easy role. Kinnear--perhaps the one with the biggest arc--underplays nicely. Dano conveys much with expression and body language. Breslin doesn't hit any of those false line-readings so common in child actors and seems completely genuine and adorable. Carrell has the most complex role and plays it with a soulful conviction that, unfortunately, he rarely gets asks to do anymore. Collette has the thankless, underwritten Mom-role but brings such life and emotion to it that you're sold. Even the bit parts are well cast with famous faces and each does an excellent job inhabiting a fully realized character in the few minutes of screen time they're given.

I could have used a bit more humor, a bit more heft to the plot, and perhaps a bit more resolution. But these are ultimately quibbles. The movie finds its quirky sweet spot early and stays there all the way to the end--to entertaining effect.

Bullet to the Head (2012)

Fails even as B-Movie Action Fare

[4/10 · 14 June 2013]

This is one of those movies that you wonder why they bothered making it at all. No one seems particularly enthused by the endeavor.

Of the cast, only Sarah Shahi and Jason Momoa bring anything to their roles. Sly looks bored. Sung Kang is as forgettable in this as he is in everything else. Christian Slater is...wait...Christian Slater is still acting? Huh, how about that?

The plotting is rote and lifeless. The dialogue is strictly stale hard-boiled monologues and bland macho posturing. The action scenes are straight-to-DVD quality.The movie does stir a bit for an outlandish ax fight at the end but it's too little too late.

Other than that, there's nothing here that you haven't seen done better in about a hundred other films.