jacob2i Reviews

Left Behind (I) (2014)

Oh my - The 1 Star reviews were right.

[1/10 · 25 January 2023]

I'm a Christian so I really wanted to like this movie. There was not one redeeming quality that I could see in this movie.

It handled everything poorly. It's supposedly a Christian story but it attacked every Christian it could find. Nicolas Cage was dreadful in this role. I know at the time he needed the money but dude, do you have no self respect?

The dialog was just wrong and people's affect was truly bizarre. They had a dwarf arguing with a 9 year old girl, a serious argument??? On what planet?

I watched as much as I could, enough to see the "left behind" event and the immediate aftermath. But that's all I could handle.

I was hoping it would be good. I found a 7/10 review amongst the 1 star reviews and a bunch of people on youtube "liked" it. Obviously those were bots.

If you want to rip your eyes out of your head, go ahead and watch.

Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022)

Truly disappointing execution of an interesting idea

[2/10 · 13 October 2022]

It was like someone had a very interesting idea and literally that's it. It went nowhere. The kid is no different for this having happened to him than before the weird stuff started happening. They didn't begin to explain how it was Harrigan was performing the evil things he did on behalf of the kid.

No real exploration of the fact that the kid essentially committed murder. Was this movie a treatise on the problems of cell phones? Was it a horror flick? Was it a coming of age movie?

It never found itself.

I'm truly disappointed because I saw the trailer for it and expected it to be pretty darn good.

IMO, it's a 2 at best.

Vivarium (2019)

Very quickly in, becomes dreadful.

[2/10 · 28 October 2021]

Contains Spoilers and deservedly so: Not a horror movie in a traditional sense but it is horror for sure. Very quickly in this movie, you understand that they will never get out of their predicament.

I just hate movies like that. It has no sense of possible redemption and as such I don't see any point to a movie like this.

Alien Hunter (2003)

Warning: Really Bad Movie

[2/10 · 19 November 2019]

Wow. I really wanted to like this movie but it was so bad. First, the first half of the movie was just a guy getting flirted with by every overly beautiful for a science station in the antarctic. It was really annoying and stupid. Just get on with the plot. And the plot was just dumb and predictable. People find artifact. Take artifact into their abode without any way to protect themselves from it. Artifact hits back. Hard. I really was wishing that the artifact would hurry up and kill all the irritating women in this movie and just do something already.

The Crater Lake Monster (1977)

Brooohaaahaaaahaaaa!

[1/10 · 4 July 2019]

It was Lametastic! All I can say about it is Brooohaaahaaahaaaahaaaa! You'll see and turn it off when you see it for the first time.

Molly's Game (2017)

Stunningly Awesome Movie

[3 August 2018]

I just finished watching this movie and was amazed.

I recently told a friend I don't think Hollywood could make a good movie anymore with the PC/SJW culture ruining everything that's good in America today. This movie has proven me wrong. What a wonderful movie!

The acting was fabulous and well cast. Loved the Actress who played Molly of course but Costner was great too.

If you have a chance and haven't seen a good movie lately, you should give this one a view. Well worth the time!

The Monster (2016)

How does this trash get anything but a 1.

[1/10 · 10 May 2018]

Pros: None Cons: The writing: Infantile writing by typical hollywood children. The child is the adult and the adult is the child. Pace: Why don't we just dddddrrrraaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg everything out to the 1,000,000 degree since we've got nothing of value to say. Flashbacks? In a horror flick? This was just plain stupid. stupid. stupid. Added nothing to this dumb effort. This writer is not capable of doing a decent flashback in the best of times.

Hey but if you want to waste 91 minutes, go for it.

Geostorm (2017)

Pretty good Sci-Fi/Action

[7/10 · 27 November 2017]

OK so I can understand some lower reviews but I've seen people give this a 1 and a 2.

That's just wrong. This movie is good at what it is supposed to be - a fun, implausible, sci-fi movie with characters you like and decent acting and an Earth threatening premise.

I like Gerard Butler. He gets a lot of grief but he's good actor and does a lot of fun movies.

And there is a car chase scene in this movie with spin and shoot move that is really impressive.

Actually the effects in this movie are pretty good.

As with most movies like this, the weather effects look a bit too shallow to be real and they start and end too suddenly but even the huge budget movie Twister had that problem.

All in all it's decent popcorn movie.

Drone (I) (2017)

Very Well Done - Better than expected

[8/10 · 27 May 2017]

Based on the comments I read here, I wasn't going to watch this movie. One even said this was basically the same as the movie I.T. which is silly. They are two entirely different stories.

Yes. They both involve psycho's but I.T.'s psycho is truly going psycho for the most flimsy of reasons. I couldn't even finish watching that movie.

This movie however really delves into a legitimate reason why someone would do what the antagonist did in this movie.

It avoided a paper thin presentation of the Muslim's rage against the guy who killed his family by drone strike. And it had a totally different take on the possibilities where this movie could end up. I'm saying it like that so I don't ruin the movie.

The acting while not stunning was quite good. The writing was actually understated which I liked. The response of the government to this situation seemed more plausible than some movies that are so over the top.

This should be rated higher, at least a solid 6.5 to 7.0. In my mind, this movie is worth an 8.

Kill Switch (I) (2017)

Warning: Bad movie alert with spoilers!

[3/10 · 24 May 2017]

Acting: Low B actors, no where close to A list acting. Shallow portrayals and bad affect to the situation.

Script: Simply bad, bad, bad. I get what they were trying for mostly but it was just not there. They really spent way too much time in the alternate universe and you never really get a sense of what's happening in the real one.

Special Effects: OK I really liked some parts where they did the gamer effect with first person shooter mode video. They did this for probably 50% of the movie and it actually worked. Too many movies use the "found footage" effect but this one was good for the most part, though again, it's been done a lot. It does hold costs down.

Is this really going to theaters? This one should go direct to video.

Conclusion: (They made me type another line!) Just a SciFi channel movie that I watched because I like interesting stories. Too bad this one was done poorly.

One further thing, I like movies like this to have an "aftermath" scene that sort of explains the resolution of the problem and in this case explains what life will be like "after the events."

Anesthesia (2015)

What a pretentious, boring, twisted piece of crap

[1/10 · 16 February 2016]

Wow. Just saw this horrible movie. What a waste of time.

Hey go see it if you want to:

1) hear little kids telling their parents to f off.

2) hear parents telling their little kids to f off.

3) pretty much everybody telling other people to f off.

4) watch a group of people who embody the absolute moral bankruptcy of our country.

This movie is the Hollywood masters last laugh at what they have done to us.

But hey, why not go see it. Apparently your brain is already fried, according to this movie.

Child 44 (2015)

Good story, good acting, not a great movie however

[6/10 · 12 February 2016]

First off, if you want to see a movie about the actual story Child 44 is extremely loosely based on, see Citizen X. That movie is far more graphic in the detail it shows of the murdered children and follows the story and timeline of the actual events.

Child 44 actually at times seems to forget that at essence it was supposed to be about a sick serial murderer in the Soviet Union.

What this movie did very well was show the fear and moral bankruptcy in the communist regime in the Soviet Union. I think for that reason, everyone should consider watching this movie. Liberals and feminists probably will not like such a raw display of what life would be like if they were given free reign to destroy traditional American values and replace with theirs.

That said, the ending is just ridiculous, really detracted from what could have been a strong movie.

Spoiler - Don't read this part if you don't want the movie spoiled!

So at the end of the movie, the literally just had this horrific monster get shot in the middle of a personal dispute between to rivals in a clandestine secret police force who now wanted to kill each other.

That left the audience disappointed, to say the least. We wanted to see this guy tried and then executed for his crimes.

Finally, I don't believe this movie knew exactly what story it was trying to tell. Was it a story of a frustrated secret cop who struggled with what he was regularly forced to do? Was it a story of a terrible series of crimes and the effects on those who weren't allowed to investigate it?

Was it a story of a man and a woman who come to understand each other and salvage real love where there was no love before?

Sadly, this movie does do a great job in any of these areas.

The Ghost Writer (2010)

Truly a strange movie

[3/10 · 7 July 2015]

First of all, I love Ewan McGregor. He is a fabulous actor.

This movie however is so poorly written that even he couldn't help this dud.

The two leading ladies in this movie who are generally portrayed as hard as nails professionals all of a sudden break down in tears and lean on the lead characters shoulders in bizarre ways. They really don't even know him that well and they turn to really a nobody in the grand scheme of things of their worlds for comfort after knowing him for 2 days?

This movie fumbles around for 2 hours and concludes as poorly as it is set up.

I detail even more of this movies' problems but I'm trying to forget.

Really, where is the good writing these days?

Gone Girl (2014)

Good? No. Horrible? No. Just meh. Could have been really good.

[6/10 · 14 December 2014]

I can overlook that they cast Ben Affleck who I think is always a bad fit for a movie, any movie. He's a pretty face who can't act.

But the movie was really really interesting for the first 2/3 of the movie, the way she set him up. I was really expecting a great finish.

But the ending, wow, really disappointing and frankly I simply don't believe he would stay with her.

I mean she just put him through heck, proved herself to be a psycho Klinder horror show and I just couldn't not believe that he would even spend one minute alone with her, let alone the rest of his life? Really? I mean everyone knew she murdered that guy. Her explanation for all the events were not even a bit plausible.

How about all the blood in the kitchen of her house? If she wasn't dead, where's the wound that caused that blood scene only 7 days before? Really, this movie had some major huge wholes at the end. It just couldn't get the parts to match up.

Too bad. It really was an interesting idea and a good start.

They just limped into a bad ending. Very disappointing.

Battleship (2012)

Forget the bad ratings. Watch the movie. It's fun.

[8/10 · 3 December 2014]

I'm not sure why everyone is complaining about this movie. It's an action movie - not a deep social commentary or a romantic comedy.

Yeah. It had plenty of implausibilities but so what. Every movie has them.

It was well made, hero's and bad guys who had just enough weapons to be dangerous but not dangerous enough to secure the environment.

But again. This is a feel good, Cowboys & Indians movie.

Well I enjoyed it a lot and I'm kind of hard to please. It simply was not as bad as everyone says it is.

I liked the choice of actors even the two from Friday Night Lights.

The guy who played the injured sailor was pretty funny.

And what's a movie without your resident geek. Check.