wierzbowskisteedman Reviews

The Great Silence (1968)

An Unforgettable Film

[10/10 · 7 September 2006]

Minor Spoilers

"The Great Silence" is probably the biggest departure the western genre has ever made from the black hats / white hats stereotype. The titular "Silence" and Klaus Kinski's slimy antagonist can only be separated by their contrasting personalities; otherwise, they are both murderers on the wrong side of the law, and often sympathy is created for the both of them; Kinski after all is just a bounty hunter, not some raging psychopath, this is arguably the same character who would seem OK if played by Eli Wallach. Silence on the other hand, while he may not kill everyone he meets, does shoot peoples' thumbs off which isn't a particularly nice thing to do. Both Silence and one of the "bandits" share a mutual goal of revenge; and in Silence's case he is performing such an act not for self satisfaction, but for money, which doesn't make him too different from Kinski's Loco. And finally the outlaws in the hills aren't outlaws at all; rather a sect of Mormons who have been thrown out of their homes by an unforgiving lawman.

Now the lines between good and bad are indefinitely blurred, it is as if the wild west can't sink any lower. The unconventional snowy setting, and the inability of the sheriff to keep the town in order signal the end of the west. There are no heroes anymore, there is no justice and "winners" rarely deserve their success. And this message couldn't hit home any harder than it does here. The superb direction and the picturesque photography are mere side notes.

I don't like the speak with an ego; but I do think I've seen a fair share of films and seen a variety of subjects and issues dealt with varying degrees of skill. This in mind, I have to say that "The Great Silence" has the most brutal, shocking conclusion I have ever seen. The bleak, pessimistic nature of the film couldn't have been summed up more effectively.. In the past I've looked towards the likes of Unforgiven, Once Upon a Time in the West and The Wild Bunch for a definitive conclusion to the western genre. Now I can say, without decrying the quality of these films, that "The Great Silence" is the one and only film that can act as a capper to the entire genre. The west has never been more dead.

Spider (2002)

Cronenberg #2.0

[10/10 · 31 August 2006]

"Spider" is probably Cronenberg's most low key film; out have gone the blood, guts and mutation, resulting in his common theme of "body" horror being translated into a completely psychological issue as the titular character's past, present and imagination all dangerously coincide in chilling fashion.

Everything is played to perfection here. Cronenberg's direction gives one of the bleakest depictions of London seen in many a year. The locations visited by Spider as a child and a man are so expertly filmed that the two realities also begin to merge in the viewers' mind to the same extent. It is also impossible to overstate Fienne's performance. He barely utters a word, and even in the initially corkscrew depiction of his mind he still manages to create sympathy for his strange plight. He is practically matched by Hall his child counterpart, and Byrne tackles a difficult role (and accent) effortlessly, but Richardson probably gives the most pivotal performance(s). The reason for her duel role may be hard to grasp until the film has been viewed and assessed; yet even on the surface she creates such heavily contrasting characters that it is difficult to comprehend that it is the same person beneath the make up.

It is without a doubt a "must watch twice" film, not for some cheap Shyamalan-ism, but because it is so difficult to decipher the first time. Yet, due to the skill of everyone involved, this doesn't hamper how effective it is the first time. The plot being unravelled is merely a bonus; this is pure cinematic art. Visually it is just as effective at showing the collapse and collision of two realities, and when you can get the full message watching the film with the sound off you know you are dealing with a true master of cinema.

Without a doubt one of Cronenberg's finest and most unmissable films.

I Want To (1979)

More madness from Toho

[9/10 · 3 August 2006]

"GI Samurai" sees Sonny Chiba and some other guys get transported back to civil war stricken feudal Japan for no particular reason, and much carnage ensues. It's a rather over the top essay of sword vs. machine gun that ultimately yields some interesting results.

The plot essentially runs along the rails that you might expect from the title; initial fish-out-the-water antics ("what is this flying metal box?" etc etc), "aren't we better off here" discussions and ultimately a huge battle. The latter is proof that the film doesn't take itself seriously at all, the carnage taking up most of the second half as samurai army battles Chiba's platoon; a face off one would fully expect from the title but it still manages to overwhelm with its inventiveness and extravagance. It's certainly one of the most unique battle sequences of its time and doesn't drag despite its extended length.

Chiba gives a gruff performance as Iba, initially a good leader but someone who finally finds himself questioning his own morals as the situation slowly has an effect on him. This is certainly one of his better vehicles from his terrific CV. By the final act the two worlds have had such an effect on each other you have to wonder if it was a bit of nihilism on the part of the writers, as they seem to be asking "weren't we better off back then?'. But this is maybe reading a bit much into was can generally be described as a hugely entertaining two hours of (almost) non stop action.

Azumi 2: Death or Love (2005)

The definition of a lazy cash in

[3/10 · 8 July 2006]

There's no denying the first Azumi film was a commercial product; it was an adaptation of a popular manga and had cast of young, attractive actors and certainly wasn't lacking in the budget department. Yet it more than entertained for what it was, and I can't deny I enjoyed it immensely.

"Azumi 2" lacks just about everything that made the original so wonderful. The first thing that should set alarm bells ringing is the absence of the superb Ryuhei Kitamura at the helm. With him, he seemed to take not only his own visual flair and kinetics, but the originals style, beauty and most importantly, its heart. While the first had a simple "hitlist" plot, this one has a corkscrew mess of a story, with too many dull characters stabbing each other in the back so many times the potential for any sympathy or pathos is obliterated. Gone is the effective interplay between the lead characters; Azumi and her cohorts are often reduced to a bunch of stroppy teenagers arguing in a forest. Characterisation is non existent; if anyone watching actually cares who lives and who dies, I'll be shocked. The same applies to the villains here. The final battle - in fact all the battles - are completely devoid of any sort of tension. The fact that they are poorly choreographed and abysmally directed - not to mention few and far between - is made a sideline by their own sheer pointlessness. The villains themselves try far too hard to be campy, and even if they were all combined, they don't come within a country mile of the Pete Burnsian antics of Jo Odagiri in the original.

####Major Spoiler at end of paragraph!#####

Aya Ueto tries her best it has to be said, and she also managed to keep her hair in good condition between the films. Azumi is now a fully fledged assassin, meaning she can wave her sword around in slow motion; unfortunately, now the character is instilled with a sort of Man With No Name style mysteriousness, Ueto's model looks become even more inappropriate. I know this is supposed to be the point, but this combined with the ineffectiveness of everyone else in the film, the stupidity of the plot and the general ineptness of the film in general means it is downright impossible to get behind her character this time around. The less said about Chiaki "Remember me from Kill Bill" Kuriyama's performance the better; it suffices to say her "turn" from good to evil is about as subtle as napalm.

Overall, this was just a colossal disappointment. Any merits is does have were done ten times better in the first film. A lazy, unsatisfying - and generally downright boring - mess.

Kill, Baby... Kill! (1966)

A fantastic work of Gothic art

[9/10 · 4 July 2006]

"Bay of Blood" was my first Bava film, and to be honest I was wholly under whelmed; given I was watching a censored version but no amount of gore could have made up for its corkscrew plot. So I watched "Kill, Baby Kill" slightly dubious as to Bava's status as the god of Italian horror.

But I couldn't have been more impressed by KBK; a superbly crafted Gothic horror, certainly one of the best horrors the 60s had to offer. The plot is kept to a minimum, the film concerns itself with the tale of the ghost of a murdered girl killing off the occupants of a remote village and the sceptical outsider investigator trying to make sense of it. The emphasis here is on atmosphere; the crooked, turn of the century village where the action takes place is fine tuned to the finest detail; from the deformed house fronts to the green and red lighting that bathes the entire film. The eccentricity of the set pieces was certainly ground breaking for the time; Bava's influence on later directors such as Argento and Tim Burton, along with Hammer productions is obvious. The cast is just as OTT; from Fabienne Dali's sorceress to Luciano Catenacci's skulking burgomaster, the films atmosphere couldn't be more razor sharp.

There are a few shocks in the film, but the eeriness of ringing bells, laughing children and cobwebs have never been exploited quite as well as they are here. A stupendous exercise in horror as an art form; unmissable for any fans of the genre.

Doctor Who (1996 TV Movie)

Too much of a jump - although it has its merits.

[7/10 · 3 July 2006]

It could be said that Doctor Who was on the skids as soon as Tom Baker left; not so much the fault of Davison, Colin Baker and McCoy, but the fact that it wasn't connecting with the public as much as it used to. With the advent of the likes of Star Wars, all the wonder it used to have had started to fade. So needless to say it needed updating. The episodes of McCoy show how Doctor Who had refused to move with the times; which, looking back now, is part of its charm. So the natural thing for a studio to do when they decide to bring it back is throw it a huge budget and send it packing in the direction of Hollywood.

That said, this could have turned out a lot better than it did. McGann is terrific and distinctive as the Eight Doctor; probably the least "alien" of the lot. The love interest doesn't bother me as it does some; especially when compared to the recent escapades of David Tennant and Billie Piper that show the Doctor doesn't necessarily need his A sexuality as much as he did in the Tom Baker era (despite the rumour of him having a family right back in the Hartnell years). The inclusion of McCoy probably works the most wonders in connecting it with the Doctor Who of old; seeing him entering San Francisco and in the extravagant new TARDIS interior makes the transition from low budget cult TV to big budget mass appeal a little easier to take. The decision to bring back the Master is also an excellent one, and if the film had chosen to focus directly on the two Time Lords it would have worked fine.

Unfortunately, it veers off for a while about some nonsense about an atomic clock, during which time the big budget extents to motorcycle chases and the like until the action moves back to the TARDIS. Still here, the presence of people who don't know what their doing is apparent; why can the Eye of Harmony only be opened by humans? How is the Doctor half human? Etc etc. The producers were obviously trying way too hard to give Doctor Who mass appeal.

Still, it did bring the Doctor back to the masses briefly and is certainly better than nothing - and overall is reasonably enjoyable, mainly due to the presence of McGann's very effective incarnation. By mentioning Skaro, Gallifrey and other plot specifics of old, they were at least trying to keep it heavily linked to the TV series (which, objectively speaking, is more than Russell T Davies is doing at the moment). We may never see this Eight Doctor again, or ever know what happened to him or where Christopher Eccleston's Ninth Doctor came from; this at least makes the TV film an interesting contribution to the Who legacy.

Gappa the Triphibian Monster (1967)

Satire, you say?

[7/10 · 1 July 2006]

Move over Dr Strangelove; "Monster from a Prehistoric Planet" is the new satire in town. Okay, maybe my sarcasm is unjustified, Japanese satire is either too high brow for me or gets completely lost in translation. And its perfectly easy to loose anything in the atrocious dubbing kaiju films get plastered with.

If I'm kind I have to call it a parody of King Kong; as the film deals with an expedition force, who are trying to find exotic animals for a new theme park, stumbling across a mysterious island where the indigenous tribe (who look strangely similar to Japanese with coal on their faces) worship a god called Gappa. The expedition take a baby Gappa back to Japan, with the parents in hot pursuit. Cue the miniatures.

With the hideously handled love side story and the hilariously sentimental finale, I can only assume that this film was intended as tongue in cheek fare, and the satire label certainly confirms this. This aside however, the film is terrific by the standards of the time, with incredible amounts of destruction and very little time to breathe in between. Whether I'm missing the supposed hard-hitting social satire I don't really care; "Monster from a Prehistoric Planet" is a wonderfully extravagant example of monster films done properly, with a plot that doesn't dither amount and action that moves back to Japan pretty swiftly and doesn't let up from then on. The clichés are all over the place but this is hardly an issue, intentional or otherwise. Certainly, a kaiju film trying its hand at satire would be expected to be about as subtle as a ton of bricks, and with this in mind the film could have turned out a hell of a lot worse.

(To the elite, "Monster from a Prehistoric Planet" has a special appeal. The Gappas are the very same monsters that menaced Kryten and Rimmer on wax world in series 4 of Red Dwarf; and as Kryten observed, you've probably seen more convincing dinosaurs in a packet of "wheatie flakes")

Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain (1983)

Certainly one of the most entertaining martial arts pictures.

[10/10 · 30 June 2006]

"Zu Warriors" certainly pushed wuxia to its limits; it has such a relentless air of enthusiasm, especially given its limited budget, that its incredibly easy to dismiss any faults it does have just because of its overwhelmingly extravagant nature. Its glorious, vivid production design and intentionally camp attitude makes it very difficult not to be totally drawn into its colourful images while completely forgetting the film has a plot.

Tsui Hark has included just about everything in this one. The special effects may not be up to much but that is a sideline; the wonderful swordplay starts almost immediately and the films rarely lets up as it jumps from one operatic martial art display to another, helped by an impeccable cast featuring iconic stars such as Sammo Hung and Brigitte Lin.

Unfortuantly it still took some work before films of this sort were appreciated in the west. Despite the efforts of John Carpenter, it still took over a decade and Crouching Tiger to truly bring this wonderful form of entertainment to the masses. There's only so much praise you can give a film before saying it has to be seen to be appreciated fully. This is certainly a landmark in wuxia and an essential showpiece of Hong Kong action at its finest. (A testament to this is the fact the DVD has a Bey Logan commentary.)

Frankenstein vs. Baragon (1965)

Sometimes words fail me.

[4/10 · 30 June 2006]

Kaiju films have never been revered for their subtlety, and in a film that has Nazis capturing Frankenstein's "immortal" heart which leads to a homeless boy in Japan transforming into a less green version of Bruce Banner, subtlety should be the last thing on the menu. Yet "Frankenstein Conquers the World" never lives up its zany premise, and certainly not the title. Maybe I should rephrase; I actually sound like I was expecting a 60s Toho monster film to bowl me over.

The thing is, for about fifty minutes this film concerns itself with a group of scientists, led by the dashing American Dr Bowen, trying to capture their escaped specimen. This means for much of its running time the film is more like a prototype Honey I Blew Up The Kid rather than any insane monster action picture. It's not until Kaiju films' answer to Benny Hill - Baragon - turns up (for no reason whatsoever), that the film breaks out the endearing rubber suits and model tanks. This is too little too late however; and the decision to confine the action to a forest means there is little to no building crunching action (apart from a particularly amusing scene where Frankenstein tries to kill a bird with a tree. Yes, a tree.)

Toho's productions of this era usually have a certain camp charm which renders terrible production as a minor concern; but even in terms of camp this one falls pretty short when compared to real classics like the 74 version of Mechagodzilla. The insane concept of the film should mean it stands out from the Kaiju crowd, for better or worse; but this one sinks right in.

Venom (1981)

A hostage thriller with a snake!

[6/10 · 16 June 2006]

In the same year he managed to haul a steamboat over a mountain ridge, Klaus Kinski also had a bit of bother in a posh area of London with a snake, which gave him infinitely more trouble. His evil plan to kidnap the son of a rich owner of a string of hotels is doomed to failure when his accomplice Susan George utters the fatal words "Nothing will go wrong".

As Kinski and his cohort Oliver Reed become besieged by the police, it becomes apparent something unpleasant is slithering through the ventilation ducts. This calls for much snake-POV camera work, however when the snake is actually seen the footage is rather convincing for such a low key film - only at the end does Kinski appear to be battling a treacherous hosepipe. In fact, the snake is very much a sideline for much of the film - a lot of the time it is just a bog standard hostage thriller, however the surprisingly A-list cast does a terrific job. Sterling Hayden gives a likable "grandpa knows best" performance, in what turned out to be his final film role, and Reed is gritty as always as the paranoid accomplice. Kinski on the other hand is clearly sleepwalking - however his sleepwalking acting is better than most peoples best.

The idea is a reasonably unique one although it is hardly pushed to its limits - if Tobe Hooper hadn't cleared off it would certainly have been much, much better. The snake's appearances may be few and far between but when it does rear its slithery head there are a few jumps to be had - although the majority of the "thrills" come from the hostage set-up and not the snake. The cast is probably the primary reason to watch "Venom", however on the whole it is surprisingly enjoyable given its reputation of "the rubbish horror film Kinski did instead of Raiders."

The Descent (2005)

Marshall becomes more and more formidable.

[9/10 · 12 June 2006]

Minor spoilers, not specific.

"The Descent" is a pure horror film, probably the first (hopefully not the last) of the century. Firstly, there's no cutting corners for a bigger audience as so many horror films from the West do nowadays; secondly, it doesn't bog itself down with the convoluted curses and supernatural themes like horror films from the East do nowadays. No; there are some people. In a cave. And there's some monsters. And it's really dark. And there's no explanations.

The darkness and the tight spaces are frightening enough. The film could be just as chilling without the mysterious predators, so when they do arrive its impossible for the situation of the six women to feel any more hopeless; there's a feeling of isolation constantly apparent throughout the film that hasn't been seen since 1982 (Meaning The Thing). In fact, this feeling of dread is much more effective than the monsters themselves. Even if one of the creatures is slaughtered, there's no feeling of happiness or success; the group is still trapped 2 miles underground. It's apparent from the outset that there's no hope for these women; yet Marshall's skill with the material keeps you hooked, waiting to see how many more circles of hell the poor victims will fall through.

If the film slips up anywhere, it's in Marshall's decision to actually show the predators in all their glory. Unlike his fantastic debut Dog Soldiers; the monsters aren't kept off screen, they're given almost as much screen time as the human cast. This sort of white washes over the initial mystery surrounding the strange shapes that are moving in the darkness and often the film leans more towards a gore shocker than a well crafted nihilist horror film. There is also a lack of the black humour that made Dog Soldiers so memorable and enjoyable; a film which I probably still prefer subjectively.

Still, I haven't seen a horror film this bleak, claustrophobic and downbeat for a very long time. The decision made by some studios to cut the film few moments of the film only goes to show how out of touch the industry has become with horror films; because the talent's out there. If only more people had the freedom Marshall has, the horror industry wouldn't be as farcical as it is nowadays.

Round of applause for everyone involved.

Phenomena (1985)

Phenomenally bad acting doesn't do too much damage.

[8/10 · 9 June 2006]

Some mild spoilers towards the end.

In what appears to be Switzerland, a pre-Labyrinth Jennifer Connelly starts education at a Gothic boarding school that isn't as quite as creepy as the one in Suspiria. Apparently there's a killer on the loose (surprise surprise) and she just might hold the key to solving the case.

From the word go "Phenomena" has Argento written all over it; from the brutal opening murder scene to the atmospheric settings; everything shrouded in a seemingly endless wind storm that works a charm in creating a sense of foreboding. Most of the time, the soundtrack is highly effective as with most Argento films; here, a disbanded Goblin leaves only Fabio Pignatelli and Claudio Simonetti to score the film with some superb help from Bill Wyman; and a few uncalled for heavy metal numbers from Motorhead and Iron Maiden.

The acting honours are reigned in by Connelly and Donald Pleasance, who by now was well into his post- Halloween horror movie legend phase. Pleasance has charisma as always, but also has an unnecessary on/off Scottish accent thing going on, but this is of little concern once put alongside the abysmal, wooden acting from the supporting cast, nominally the occupants of the boarding school. Still, Argento's skill with giallo leaves this as the only concern in what is a generally fast paced, wonderfully haunting film.

I say giallo, however there is much here which leans towards fantasy; the insect communication idea is certainly a novel one. Argento stays reasonably restrained on the gore front for the majority of the film, however at its climax, he goes overboard with shockingly inventive visuals; be it a well of rotting body parts, a mutant midget being eaten by flies or a vigilante chimpanzee going psycho with a razor blade.

Overall, this isn't in the same league as Deep Red or Suspiria, however it is a highly enjoyable romp from a director who more than knows what he's doing.

Southern Comfort (1981)

Soldiers go down into the woods and get a big surprise

[9/10 · 4 June 2006]

Very minor spoilers

This grim, tough action film comes from the master of the genre Walter Hill; pitting a group of soldiers with varying attitudes towards morality against a community of disgruntled Cajuns in a bleak, grimy swampland that seems to go on forever.

Hill was on more than a roll when he made this film; the three previous years had seen him direct three of the most effective action films of the modern era, The Long Riders, The Driver and his cult hit The Warriors. Southern Comfort may not be as strong as these, however that means very little when compared to such classics. It could be seen to share a lot of elements with "The Warriors"; a group fighting through a dangerous land, the more unpleasant characters getting their comeuppance and the quiet, restrained one shining through as the hero. Instead of Michael Beck, here we have Keith Carradine, who gives a gritty and effective performance in the lead, supported by a fine cast consisting of Powers Boothe, Fred Ward, T.K Carter and a fleeting appearance from Peter Coyote.

The whole affair is caused by some prat having the bright idea to steal some Cajun canoes; giving all the events in the film a feel of desperate futility, which is highly effective in creating sympathy for the more sensible characters, and those who suffer underserved deaths because of the antics of their comrades. Over the course of the film the characters come into their own, the group developing from an initial squad of indistinguishable soldiers to a broken bunch fighting for survival; some deserving, some not.

Overall, this low key effort from Hill certainly shouldn't be missed if you admire his earlier work. A standout performance from a true god of action films.

Tokyo Psycho (2004)

Less isn't more in this case.

[4/10 · 3 June 2006]

Vague spoilers...ish

"Tokyo Psycho" is about...well, not what the title suggests. While it might be suggested that the film is about a city wide manhunt for a deranged killer, it's actually confined to the escapades of a single woman and the nerdy guy from the back of the class who still has a crush on her from school. Still, "Sexually Confused Apartment Block Pervert" doesn't quite have the same ring to it, yet that is what the film concerns itself with.

Shot in an almost documentary style and running at a very modest 78 minutes, "Tokyo Psycho" certainly doesn't outstay its welcome too much, however the short running time doesn't mean it is fast paced. It does get off to a reasonable start, with the central character having an unpleasant encounter with a nut who may or may not be Pete Burns from Dead or Alive...yet this doesn't seem to have anything to do with the rest of the film.

The characters is where the film really slips up. The "killer" really isn't threatening at all, and the central heroine is pretty hard to root for; yet this isn't so much the fault of the actress, but the fault of the writer who gave her nothing to work with. To be fair, the minimal cast does do its best; however with the clichés coming thick and fast (who'd have thought the stalker would have boarded up the windows of his apartment and plastered pictures of his target everywhere?) and a unsatisfying ending that disjoints the film even further (which takes some doing with the paper thin story), "Tokyo Psycho" doesn't leave a good or bad impression; it's just yet another average Japanese "horror" with little in the way of scares or thrills; destined to sink into the abyss of mediocrity.

City on Fire (1987)

Oh yes, it's that Tarantino one...

[8/10 · 21 May 2006]

To anyone who's taken a few steps into the wonderful world of internet film discussion, the title "City on Fire" should set alarm bells ringing due to its unfavourable connection with Reservior Dogs. Unfavourable because people now seem to be incapable of judging the film on its own without referring the Chow Yun Fat as "The Mr. Orange guy". So this film has a sort of Holy Grail status amongst Tarantino's critics, which tends to mean its faults and individual merits go equally overlooked. So I'll do my best to review it from a neutral perspective.

As always, Chowy is great quality in the lead role, with a much more detailed character than Tim Roth had (argh!). He maintains the effective "heroic bloodshed" chemistry with his frequent co star Danny Lee that would be used most notably two years later in Woo's "The Killer". The rest of the cast are perfectly fine as they dance around the two stars, and Lam's direction avoids the OTT va va voom of his later works such as "Full Contact", staying suitably restrained for the fairly by-the-numbers plot. However the action is what Lam is usually noted for, and he handles the gunplay here very effectively with his usual stylish skill.

At times, the film feels like it's weighing itself down with too much baggage, mainly with the romance between Chow and his fiancée. However, this ultimately serves to up the tragedy of the final scenes and make Chowy's character seem a lot more human than the roles he is most noted for in the west, such as Hard Boiled's Tequila.

Overall, "City on Fire" may not standout in the careers of anyone involved, however it is an effective, enjoyably action drama. And to the question everyone asks, while it may lack discussions about Madonna and Steeler's Wheel numbers, at its centre it has a beating heart, something that seemed to be lost in translation when Tarantino made his breakthrough hit.

Graveyard Shift (1990)

The Graaaaveyard Shift...

[5/10 · 21 May 2006]

Another King story gets a kicking here, as David Andrews gets out performed on the charisma front by a load of rats. The old textile mill he works in seems to have a rodent issue, although what is lurking deep in the bowels of the building's numerous basements is far more sinister than rats. Well, it's supposed to be.

The films plods along until Andrews and a bunch of unpleasant co workers, along with Stephen Macht and his demented accent, get down to the business of trying to clear the basements up, and then there is much screaming and running. The monster effects themselves aren't too bad; but the film sticks with gore rather than trying to go for any real scares. It's difficult to say this is offensive to the source material; rather than wasting potential, the film has stretched the original story way too much; its reasonably chilling seven or eight pages were good in themselves, but hardly effective material to make an 80 minute film.

That said, there are plus points from trying to place Macht's accent, and Brad Dourif's wonderful turn as "The Exterminator". There is at least a vague suggestion of some suspense as the clean up crew go from basement to basement; and the gore and effects are maybe enough to please anyone in the mood for undemanding horror. Certainly, if you can switch your brain to the right setting to enjoy "Maximum Overdrive", this one shouldn't disappoint. However, it's doomed to stay hidden in the abyss of 80s and early 90s trash horror. Certainly not good, but not bad enough to stand out either. Yet another example of unexceptional horror, but which isn't as terrible as people make out.

Runaway (1984)

My name is Gene Simmons and my deadly robot spiders will kill you...

[6/10 · 30 April 2006]

In this 1980s futuristic actioner, Tom Selleck plays a police officer who specialises in eliminating renegade robots. Usually this just involves flipping the OFF switch because no one else had sufficient insurance cover to do it. When he discovers some important red and black bits of plastic are being sold on the black market, he battles various foes on his way to discovering the truth, including wobbling plastic boxes, Meccano sets gone bad and Gene Simmons.

Author Michael Crichton is at the helm here, and he does a decent enough job with what appears to be a relatively low budget. Tom Selleck cruises along with a heavily clichéd hero character (dead wife, vulnerable child, fear of heights, wobbling plastic assistant called Lois), however his somewhat boring character is evened out nicely by Gene Simmons, who sends the ham-o-meter to dangerous levels with his terrifically OTT performance, and dialogue along the lines of "MUHAHAHAHA!!!". As with most films of this ilk, by today's standards it's heavily dated, but then again it's a reminder of a time when action films focused on action and didn't take themselves to seriously.

"Runaway" is an unremarkable but reasonably solid action film. It moves at a speedy pace, albeit along the well oiled lines of about nine million other similar films, there's little to fault if you're only looking for light techo-action fare.

Hardly something anyone should seek out (unless, of course, you want to see Gene Simmons waving a ridiculously huge gun around and trying to out-stare the rest of the cast) but not something that should be avoided at all costs either, if it's on TV and you don't have anything better to do.

Gangster Cop (1970)

More of an action film than a Yakuza, but a good one.

[8/10 · 15 April 2006]

In most of his films, Sonny Chiba's acting skills are usually overshadowed by his fistfights, and "Yakuza Deka" might not be an exception, however it still manages to work as a drama whilst still keeping Chiba's trademark violence. The essential story about an undercover cop isn't exactly anything interesting or original, however Chiba's unshakable screen presence burns through the film and as usual it feels dull when he isn't on screen.

That said, there is a lot of skill behind the camera in Yukio Noda, who keeps everything moving at a cracking pace and handles the action very well, even with the obviously low budget. The film climaxes with a hugely entertaining off road car mêlée, so while not impressing anyone with its story the film certainly excels itself in terms of action. There's plenty of well timed comic relief which gives the film a much lighter atmosphere than other films of the same ilk.

Overall, this may not be for the "serious" Yakuza fan, however it is a very entertaining hour and a half and certainly will not disappoint any Chiba fans, who as usual is the main attraction.

One Missed Call (2003)

Pretty lifeless for a Miike film.

[4/10 · 14 April 2006]

Young and attractive Japanese people are getting on the wrong side of some curse again, this time it involves mobile phones. Various people die until the disgruntled spirit behind it all is unearthed, so essentially if you've seen more than 2 recent Japanese horror films you can plot this film in the dark with your hands tied.

The main attraction here is the fact that Takashi Miike is behind the camera. So far I've been more impressed with his low key works like City of Lost Souls, however as One Missed Call plodded along I was yearning for his more renowned envelope pushing of Dead or Alive or the overly pseudo-Cronenberg style of Audition. Despite a lot of his films being essentially empty, at least they do have merits such as these, or at least something to keep your attention like Tadanobu Asano prancing about in shiny suits impersonating Johnny Depp. There's none of that in One Missed Call; there's just very little of credit: the acting is bland and average, there is very little (nothing, in all honesty) in the way of scares or suspense, and in places it's just downright boring.

However, there are moments where Miike's glacier-like sense of humour seeps through the bland commercialism; most notably with the instance of the TV show intent on filming the demise of one of the cursed subjects, and the TV programmer more concerned about his ratings than the girls' life. But aside from this there is nothing to suggest it is Miike behind the camera; most notably his usual visual flair has vanished without a trace (and that includes his famous gore), although it's more likely he just didn't have any enthusiasm for the project, and I can understand why. One Missed Call isn't offensively bad. It's just frustratingly average.

Miike obviously loves directing. With his huge yearly output it's obvious he isn't going to be 100% concerned about all his projects. But even with this in mind, One Missed Call felt like he was just paying the bills.

Attack the Gas Station (1999)

The best urban actioner since The Warriors, the best camp comedy since Big Trouble in Little China...

[10/10 · 11 April 2006]

"Attack the Gas Station!" is not only the most entertaining film Korea has produced during it's recent industry boom, but one of the most fun, tongue in cheek, genre-aware action/comedies from anywhere since heck knows when. Serving as both a parody of siege/hostage films and a camp action extravaganza in it's own right, ATGS moves at breakneck speed, leaving not a dull moment as the quartet of luckless youths try to avoid detection and learn running a gas station isn't as easy as it seems.

Despite feeling like an effective throwback to American cult B cinema of the 1970s and 80s - namely the works of Walter Hill and John Carpenter, ATGS also has such a refreshing, contemporary feeling and a razor sharp sense of humour that I can't think how the film can possibly get boring or how anyone could not enjoy it.

If I had to watch one film on a loop for the rest of my life, this would be a strong contender. By the time the end credits rolled (and they came VERY quickly), I wanted to watch the film again, and again. There isn't anything bad I can say about ATGS, and my words cannot do it justice. I can't remember the last time I was this entertained by a film. If "Attack the Gas Station!" doesn't restore your faith in cinema, and the human race in general, I can't think what will.

Acacia (2003)

Nothing that you can't miss.

[4/10 · 11 April 2006]

No serious spoilers, but some very minor ones.

"Acacia", a Korean contribution to the ever popular Asian horror wave, concerns a husband and wife who decide that they're getting on a bit and decide to adopt a child. The child, who has an usual obsession with the dead tree in the family's garden, eventually disappears when the couple eventually have a child of their own and the aforementioned tree seems to hold a grudge against the family itself.

And that's about it. The film moves at a snails pace, clocking in at over 100 minutes with 80 minute material. It is essentially a thin family drama with a creepy tree, and there is very little in the way of scares, just shots of the tree with weird mumbling noises playing over the top. However, the idea of the tree being the child's mother is a pretty original one, but it isn't exactly exploited to its full potential. This sort of separates "Acacia" from much of the new wave it belongs to: films like Ju-On and Ring tend to do the opposite, and milk bland ideas until they are red in the face.

The film does begin to get going towards the end; however the realisation of the child's fate and the parent's actions not only dampen the earlier curiosity of the story, but are revealed with such machine gun editing that it's difficult to take in all at once. The final sequence is undoubtedly creepy, however it feels like too little too late.

Overall, the film does not feel too much like a Ring cash in, however with the "film renaissance" that Korea is currently going through, I couldn't help but feel this film could have been so much more.

Shutter (II) (2004)

Scary, but nothing more.

[7/10 · 9 April 2006]

Very Minor Spoilers

Despite being a Thai film, "Shutter" will inevitably be compared to Japanese horror of recent years in order to see whether or not it surpasses the genre films it arguably has its roots firmly set in.

In this regard I have to say that "Shutter" has more scares than most of the frankly unimpressive Japanese "New Wave" put together. Having heard great things about it, I sat down to watch it with the same dread I had when I saw "Ring" for the first time. Thankfully though, "Shutter" wasn't a complete walk in the park unlike so many of its counterparts unfortunately are.

However, where "Shutter" fails is in how much it relies on cheap shocks rather than mood building or suspense. There are a few inspired moments: Tun standing in his dark room, not realising the female figure next to him isn't his girlfriend at all, and Jane flicking through photographs to see the ghostly figure moving across her floor. However these moments, that try to build dread rather than just trying to give the audience a heart attack, are few and far between. Whenever the film "gets going", it's all quick cuts to ghostly figures and women screaming.

So, "Shutter" isn't exactly "Suspiria", however it does manage to scare, albeit with childish tactics, which is more than can be said for many of Japan's efforts of late. If scares is all you want, then "Shutter" does not disappoint at all, however you only need to look at Korea and films like "R-Point" to see how much more effective recent Asian horror can be.

The Road Home (1999)

Pretty and enjoyable, but something is missing.

[7/10 · 2 March 2006]

As most people now know due to Yimou's recent efforts "Hero" and "House of Flying Daggers", the director has crafted the most beautiful, vivid films of recent years. "The Road Home" is no exception; consisting of a stark contrast between the bleakness of the present day and the aftermath of the death of Yusheng's father, and the picture perfect flashback of his father and mother's courtship.

In this respect the film is very effective in getting its general message across; the sadness that will always eventually follow happiness. The flashbacks could be a film on their own; ending with a "happily ever after" climax; but the ultimate conclusion is shown in all its dreary, snowy, depressing glory.

Effective though the film is in this respect, it is only face value; the same message could be got across in a painting. The present day scenes are often very affecting, meaning the film does have more to it than the colouring-in-the-dots so called "art" of Yimou's so called "masterpiece" Hero. But the film slips up during the flashbacks (which most of the film consist of). The romance just isn't handled very well; sure, it isn't on the George Lucas level of ineptness but there is a distinct lack of chemistry between Zhang Ziyi and Hao Zheng, and once the flashbacks had finished I didn't feel convinced of the unbreakable bond they were supposed to have between them. If the film had skipped the flashbacks it would have worked better; focusing solely on the grief of those left behind by the father, a bleak story that would have fitted the Tarkovsky-style bleakness of the black and white cinematography well.

Overall, this is a pleasant little film but it could have been much more affecting (and therefore memorable) than it was.

Tale of the Mummy (1998)

Stupid, boring, lame.

[2/10 · 17 December 2005]

Okay, so I first saw this film about six years ago. I still haven't forgotten just how badly this film stunk. It's a fact Russell Mulcahy's career has been in a tailspin for the last twenty years since "Highlander", this film only reinforces that idea. So, the cast was okay, despite Christopher Lee being killed off about five seconds into the film but still managing to get his name above the title. He is probably the only reason a horror fan would watch this; too bad the film nosedives after he dies and the opening credits come up. So, essentially, worth watching, if it wasn't for the last 115 minutes. Oh, and the ending is painfully stupid and annoying, making the two hours you sat through seem pointless, with no closure but too stupid and annoying to be called tragic.

AVOID, just watch Sommers' "The Mummy" instead, although his career now seems to be in the same situation as Mulcahy's, only he has big budgets.

Deep Red (1975)

Terrific "Giallo" from a terrific director.

[10/10 · 17 December 2005]

Maybe very minor spoilers.

Although essentially a murder mystery story, "Deep Red" has Dario Argento at the helm, who adds an almost supernatural atmosphere to the film, turning it from a thriller into a very effective horror. While it would be a discredit to this great film to call it a "slasher", Argento doesn't cut any corners when it comes to thinking up inventive ways for the killer to dispatch his targets; there's drowning, impaling on glass, and the infamous robot doll scene.

But as I said, this film has much more to it than gruesome killings, and not just a superb central performance from David Hemmings. As his character unravels the mystery further and further, the less the film feels like a whodunnit and the more it feels like a supernatural horror. The early sequence of the German psychic detecting something out of the ordinary whilst giving a performance sets the atmosphere nicely. The later sequence of Hemmings searching the deserted villa, a perfect set piece in itself, mixed with the Goblin score is chillingly effective and unnerving, even though very little happens. The strange scenes showing the killer's gloved hand selecting which strange implement they are going to use for their next brutal killing are brilliantly tense, especially since the identity of the victim is usually apparent and it's just a matter of how they are going to meet their end, or if they can avoid it. The score, as usual provided by Goblin and shadowing Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells, as also pitch perfect.

The conclusion may seem a slight let down after so many frights and chills, but it deserves credit because I certainly did not see it coming.

While maybe not reaching the same level of terror as the final scenes of "Susparia", "Deep Red" is seen by many to be Argento's finest film. Low budget, but not hitting the Fulci grind house level, "Deep Red" is a horror masterpiece from a master of the genre.