jjparish Reviews

The Adventures of Maid Marian (2022)

Very Enjoyable.

[10/10 · 18 July 2022]

The time flew by watching this one. Basically its a few days in the life of marian and robin fighting off some utterly duplicitious bad guys. With marian taking the lead as a kick ass fighter and the main rescuer of robin when he is in trouble. Which he was for most of the film. The actress playing marian was great. Robin was played by someone far too young though. This film reminded me of Keira Knightley's film, Princess Of Thieves, where she played robin hoods daughter. All in all, was i entertained? Yes i was!

Mansfield Park (1999)

Awful, Hollow, Unconvincing.

[1/10 · 31 May 2022]

This is not Austen. Sex scenes, talk of slavery, and debauched characters who are really quite decent in the novel? Whats the point of piggy backing on Austens name just to serve up this tripe. For all its faults i suggest everyone go watch Billie Piper's Mansfield Park. Its a hundred times better.

Are You Being Served?: Roots? (1981) Season 8, Episode 8

Give PC the boot.

[10/10 · 6 April 2022]

And just enjoy this brilliant and gloriously funny episode. And joy is the right word. How simple comedy was back in the 80's. A bit of slapstick, bawdiness, funny jokes, pretty girls and great dance routines is all you need. And that wonderful anti-PC ending. What a treat.

You, Me & the Christmas Trees (2021 TV Movie)

I enjoyed it.

[7/10 · 26 October 2021]

I know it was kinda formulaic and not much really happens but i am so ready for a bit of christmas cheer after this horrendous 2nd covid year that i really enjoyed this. And yes it is early to kick off the christmas season but who cares. I love danica's movies. She is such a fine actress and woman and i cant believe she is 46! She is so beautiful. Well done hallmark.

Grange Hill: Episode #2.18 (1979) Season 2, Episode 18

Judys Back.

[9/10 · 22 October 2021]

My favourites back for her last appearance. It was a big shame they never renewed her contract. Still suzi and cathy and even moany trisha made up for her loss. This was the start of grange hill and you can easily see why it would go on to be the best ever british childrens tv show.

Sapphire Blue (2014)

As good as the first film.

[10/10 · 22 October 2021]

The romance continues between the two leads and its just as intense and exciting as in the first film. They argue, fall out and make up so much and it all seems so real. I liked the fight scenes (although they are not up to big budget hollywood standards). I loved the history hopping and the suitably dramatic ending that sets things up lovely for the final film. The cast are very attractive and once again the film moves along at such a pace that i forget that i'm watching in subtitles.

I have little gripes of course. The songs sung in english are a bit cringy. Aunt maddy is played way over the top and the Count St Germain needs to be played with much more villainy. Maybe his wickedness was toned tone because of the younger audience? No matter though as i thought overall the film was loads of fun and addictively watchable.

Winning London (2001 Video)

Loads of Fun.

[10/10 · 17 October 2021]

This is such a fun film to watch. Yes its a slight film with a corny plot about american students going to london for a young model UN convention. But I really liked it. London looks gorgeous. The soundtrack was great, especially the "Get out of London" song. Ashley and mary kate are very attractive and so are their boyfriends. And so are the rest of the cast. This is by far the best olsens twins movie.

He's All That (2021)

Didn't watch all of it.

[1/10 · 28 August 2021]

I just couldn't. It was that bad i could only take 50 minutes. I guess rachael leigh cook badly needs the money because otherwise how can you explain her trashing the memory of her best ever film? The actors were terrible, the product placement was terrible, the loser dude was a major hottie before and after his makeover. It makes no sense. This is surely the movie for the tiktok generation that ENDS all such future tiktok movies? Whats more fun than watching this? Eating a nettle. Or licking a spiky cactus.

I Start Counting (1970)

A killer on the Road.

[10/10 · 14 July 2021]

But who is it? Young wyn is positive its her older brother, who she has the major hots for. So she goes around doing her best to protect him and trying to get him to confess or own up to his crimes. Jenny agutter was so young and so brilliant in this. What a star.

Ruby Red (2013)

Lived up to the book.

[10/10 · 13 July 2021]

Set in england, in german, its about a girl who finds out she can time travel and sets about fighting the bad guys who want to create a new world order. For a film i watched in subtitles its so easy to follow and you just forget its actually subtitled after a while. Its kinda harry potteresque but with much hotter girls and boys. I loved it and the books. As an english person its so interesting to see periods of english history like this from a german perspective.

The Libertine (1968)

OK italian sex comedy

[6/10 · 12 July 2021]

I only really watched this for catherine spaak and im glad i did. It was sexy and catherine was so gorgeous but the plotline was a bit to daft for me. A widower finds out her husband was a sex pervert and sets out to engage in multipe acts of outrageous sexual adventures herself. I couldnt shake off the feeling that i was just watching a female Confessions of a Window Cleaner film. And thats not good. I would have given this a 7 despite that but then i watched the ending and it was rubbish. Absoulte tosh. So its a 6/10.

PS Do all italian films have such dubbing problems? Its an italian film, everyone is speaking italian, but i swear every character looked like they were dubbed and out of synch. Its weird.

La voglia matta (1962)

The desire of a 39 year old man for a 16 year old girl.

[9/10 · 12 July 2021]

Was it crazy? I certainly think it was in this case. The film sets up with this sophisticated guy tony, a succesful businessman with a beautiful girlfriend his own age. Its also established he has no problems with bedding other numerous women. And yet he falls head over heels for a teenage temptress and suffers multiple humiliations on her part. Frankly he is made to look an absolute fool by her and the kids she knocks about this.

You just ache for him to get up and leave but franchesca has him completely under her spell. OK its easy to see why on just a visual level. Cathereine Spaak, 16 years old in real life, is an absolutely mesmerizing beauty. But she has a touch of evil in her character that middle aged tony just cant see or compute. This was highly watchable to the very end.

Gregory's Two Girls (1999)

Wish Clare Grogan had made it back.

[8/10 · 20 June 2021]

It would have been very interesting to give Gregory three girls to worry about! Not that he appears that worried here. Yes he quotes a lot of chomsky and annoys his students with all that lefty nonsense but at heart he is still just an amiable dorky guy who just happens to have a thing for one of his students. Its played for laughs and its harmless. Or is it? I think its left up to the viewers to say whether he had sex with his student at the end. I think he probably did after they had settled down under the blanket and she called him by his surname, just like in his sex dream.

All the Right Noises (1970)

A pretty salacious tagline.

[10/10 · 20 June 2021]

"Is 15 1/2 too young for a girl?" That didn't really relect this honest story about a married man having an affair with a teenage girl. It wasn't just about sex and they certainly make a good looking couple. They dont look out of place in their acting world and social circle despite the age gap. Its great to see a young olivia hussey in something contempory and totally different to romeo and juliet. Which is all that i had seen her in before i watched this. What a talent she was to be leading films like this and R&J at such a young age.

The Final Girls (2015)

Loved It.

[10/10 · 30 May 2021]

Great film. Max and Nancy made me tear up at least 3 times. Even as an 80s horror film parody it was excellent. But it was so much more than that.

Not Going Out (2006– )

Where have the kids gone?

[10/10 · 23 January 2021]

LOL dont get me wrong. I dont miss them in the slightest. The not going out kids were truly, truly awful actors and i hope whoever casted them is currently out of work and on the dole. But they have disppeared from the current series and there is no explanation why. Are they that toxic now that they cant even be mentioned?

The Other Side (IV) (2012)

Would make a great feature film.

[9/10 · 25 November 2020]

This is genuinely the scariest short film i have ever watched. I only found it out as i was looking for more work from Amelia Warner. A beautiful and beguiling English actress who i loved from Quills, Lorna Doone and Take a Girl Like you. Someone who retired early from acting and really shouldn't have. She was superb and so was the nanny. The bad guy was scary! The ending was a little confusing but i'm sure they could have worked out a better one in a proper film setting.

Out of Season (1975)

Susan George shines like a star.

[10/10 · 22 November 2020]

What a performance. It takes some doing for a young actor to outshine 2 hollywood greats yet this is what susan george clearly does. I must admit that i only watched this film because i'm madly in awe of susans's beauty. And there are some great nude scenes. Yet this is a serious and thought provoking film. Because who is joe talking to at the end. The mother or the daughter? I like to think its the daughter. Why not. It adds nicely to the controversy.

Pleasure (1994 TV Movie)

I could watch this again and again.

[9/10 · 27 September 2020]

What a role jennifer ehle had. She played everything going from a wifely frump to a sexpot, a prostitue, a spy and an avenging angel. She was amazing in this. I bought this tv film along with Self Catering. I wasn't disappointed.

The Camomile Lawn (1992)

A perfect TV world to lose yourself in.

[10/10 · 13 June 2020]

I read the book first and i have to say this series is so true to it. In this rotten PC age its so nice to delve into a past that is poignant and patriotic. A past where the english did their bit. And just brilliant performances from jenifer ehle, tara fitzgerald and rebecca hall. The depth of the acting pool on view here is huge. Its gloriously anti-woke and much the better for it. For example if you love female nudity like me, you will love this. I also thought the back and forth between the modern day and WW2 was brilliantly done.

Undeclared (2001–2003)

A proper LOL comedy.

[10/10 · 10 January 2020]

This is just about the best college based comedy show there has ever been. Due to there being around 6 main characters there are so many stories and strands of plot weaving around almost every episode. And then you have steve's dad and lizzie's boyfriend and bit characters like Perry all having great turns. Actually Eric turned out to be my favourite character. He was truly hilarious.

My So-Called Life (1994–1995)

Mid 90's Perfection.

[10/10 · 3 November 2019]

This has to be one of my favorite ever shows. I rewatch it often and it never gets boring. The only other show i do this with is Freaks and Geeks. What makes MSCL so good for me is the angela/jordan/brian triangle. I used to be mad for the angela/jordan couple but through the years ive come around to supporting angela/brian. Its so well written that you can feel what angela feels. Her ups and downs have made me smile, cry and cringe. Great acting from the great claire danes helps a lot. The second best thing about the show are the rayanne/sharon characters. Complete opposites but they worked so well together i always felt they should have become a couple. To be honest i would have loved the gay plotline in MSCL to have been explored through those two rather than gay best-friend ricky. He was a turn off for me and his journey seemed fake and forced.

Seven Minutes in Heaven (1986)

Enjoyable stuff.

[8/10 · 2 November 2019]

Its a standard teen story about first romances, unrequited love and first sort of sexual experiences. Its very sweet with just a bit of raunchiness, mainly from Maddie Corman's character. Connelly's character is chaste, kinda bookish and vulnerable to the temptations of older boys. She is also very beautiful (like a younger sister of phoebe cates) fresh faced and very young looking. Which is no surprise as she was 14 when she made this. Its good to see teens being played by teens for once because i'm way to accustomed to teens on screen being played by actors in their mid 20's. One of the better teen films from the 80's in my opinion.

Take a Girl Like You (2000)

Much Better than the Book.

[10/10 · 9 July 2019]

And i dont say that often. They got the feel, the mood and the music of the period just right for this. Sienna guillory was a bit weak and too hard faced to play the northern ingenue role. But rupert graves, robert dawes and hugh bonneville more than made up for her. To be honest the innocent young school teacher role should have gone to castmate Amelia Warner. She had the pure and guileless beauty that you felt was needed for a character who unitentionally creates havoc amongst the men of the town.

Grange Hill (1978–2008)

Best Kids Show Ever.

[10/10 · 9 July 2019]

I've recently been rewatching the glory years, Mid 80's to early 90's, and its just been sublime. So many memories of my school years have been flooding back in for me. Gonch and Cleaver, Mr Bronson, Jackie and Zammo, Ronnie and Callie. All were wonderful characters. (Well they were to the teenage me!) Its just amazing how intricate and hard hitting some of the GH plotlines were. And of course just how much fun the show was to watch. My all time favourites were Ziggy and Robbie and, especially, Georgina Hayes. I had a massive crush on her at the time, or i should say Samantha Lewis. They have been releasing the DVDs of the early early years but i ireally hope they get around to releasing the best years on DVD. I have to watch on terrible MP4 copies but they are better than nothing. Such a shame they cancelled it. The kids of today dont know what they are missing.