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Graygrrrl
Reviews
Bonjour Anne (2016)
More than boring
Instead of watching Under The Tuscan Sun for the umpteenth time, I decided on this. Big mistake.
I didn't expect much from the synopsis or reviews but this was somehow worse than that. I expected a rambling Road picture. Who could be more charming in the French countryside than Diane Lane?! What I got instead was a criminally nice (maybe pushover) woman, basically kidnapped by her husband's friend. I mean... I can't imagine putting up with this man!
But no, on and on they go. I'm a self-described Francophile and I was bored, BORED, by the scenery, the history lessons, the sidetrips. A movie doesn't need a strong plot to be enjoyable, but there must be something moving it forward. And no, the car doesn't count! This would have been a lovely PIECE to a story, a good 20 minute excursion
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Terrifier 2 (2022)
BORED
Wow... How could I be THIS bored watching a Terrifier movie? First... It's over 2 hours long. How? Why?? I firmly believe genre should be 90 minutes, with few exceptions. To make a slasher homage, and sequel to boot, so long; is such an f- you to the audience. Hire an editor, please.
I don't thing the acting is as horrible as other reviewers have said. It's certainly a choice in some areas, but generally I thought the younger actors did a great job.
FX looked good too, I just didn't care by the end.
SPOILER: what's up with the lady clown? I mean, I knew the missing father would count for something, but the delusions??
Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)
Too long, too little
Really tired of overly long superhero movies for no reason. I would have sworn this movie was longer than its 2h 10m run time. I kept drifting off. Fury of the God's is a 30 minute episode of TV bloated into feature film length.
Another example of underdrawn villains- the daughters of Atlas have been awakened? Were always searching? For their stolen powers. They steal the staff from the last movie and use it to find Shazaam & his friends who now have their powers. Why are they stolen? Couldn't say. Maybe they told us. Maybe when I was resting my eyes. Then the kids and their superhero alter egos fight the goddesses to keep the powers that were never through theirs. Well, no s--t. Helen Mirren (why Helen?!) explains her desires so well! These godly gifts were stolen, how could they not go after them? I'm with her! Then Lucy Liu doing a weird accent goes a bit mad and I guess we hate her more. Ugh.
Mona Lisa and the Blood Moon (2021)
Have you ever been so bored?
I know I haven't. I think I can safely say Amirpour's first film was a fluke. This and a the Bad Bunch are trying too hard to seem what? Edgy? Avant garde? Interesting? I would be curious what she could do with a script she didn't write. She has good ideas but can't execute them to the page. The most interesting character might have been Fluff (Ed Skien) and he was barely there. What scent is Kate Hudson doing? It's not NOLA that's for sure. Why do it and not explain it?
You can not have a plot, if you have character. You can have bad writing if you have a good actor. You can wander aimlessly- her 1st feature did- if you have something to say. Sadly, this has none of that.
12 Kilometers (2016)
Over hyped let down
Loved the marketing campaign! Send the director your top 3 horror moves and he'll give you the code to access the short film. Genius.
Overall, I thought the film looked nice. It was clear the director had intent. But i don't know that he successfully expressed it to the audience. The soundtrack was comically hilarious at times and often too loud. Shooting in Russian is a great way to hide story and dialog flaws- who knows if he can actually write dialog?! Perhaps the subtitles are the problem?
I'm all for ambiguous endings but there wasn't enough story to make it feel like anything more than he ran out of money or ideas. The concept is nice and perhaps if there had been time to set up the beginning we would have cared more. Instead, we get false psychological babble and a big let down.
I'm not mad I watched the 24 min short, but I don't care to see it again.