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Reviews
Twilight (2008)
Hated the Book....Hated the Movie Even More
This is Dracula time 10.... gay ten. I can't believe they ruined the Vampire genre. First off Vampires in the Twilight Universe glitter in the sunlight rather than burning in it. Come glittering... you have to be joking with me. What is gayer then glittering in the sunlight, not a whole hell of a lot. Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I rest my case. America what is next a peace loving Rambo, a Jason Voorhees that teaches horny teenagers about the practice of abstinence instead of killing them, a live action movie about Dragon Ball Z, Super Baby Geniuses Three, a remake of King Kong where he climbs the Eiffel Tower, an USSA (Untied Soviet States of America). If you like twilight you are gay period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blackbeard (2006)
Bargain Bin Material
A few nights ago I was flipping through the channels and I came upon a treasure chest full of sh**(Blackbeard), but being the generous soul I am I decided to give this movie a chance: That was my first mistake. I hated this movie from start to finish, because I quickly learned that Blackbeard was a Captain Jack Sparrow wannabe. He dressed like Sparrow; walked, talked and acted like Sparrow and just might be the "next best thing" but not quite Sparrow! Sorry I lied Blackbeard isn't "the next best" at anything, the pirate that was at my third birthday party was more of man then Blackbeard. It doesn't end there, this movie wouldn't be complete without Zoroish Bandits, Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Governor Swann, and Bad-Acting Pirates. Note this people I wasn't expecting much when I started watching this "film" and I use the term loosely, I just expected at least a history channel esq documentary at best, but instead I got a Pirates of the Caribbean rip off. I would rather play in a radioactive waste dump then endure another 160 minutes of this piece of trash. So, I hope this film rots at the bottom of Davey Jones' Locker with the rest of the Pirates of the Caribbean rip offs.