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Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)
Jay and silent bob go 'woke'
Simply couldn't finish watching it. Starts off o.k, few funny jokes, 'jay and silent bob' style, but it's a sell out. It starts to get very, very 'woke' around half way through. It's the same old hollywood message, just in another format. Ruined it!
Why do we have to have this 'woke' stuff rammed down our throats at every opportunity? They ruined jay and silent bob
American Gods (2017)
Original and utterly captivating
Could not stop watching it. One of the most original TV series iv'e seen. Starz come up with the goods again. Very well acted, scripted and written. Keeps you guessing. Possibly not for everyone, some will just find it strange, but I thought it was fantastic, start to finish. Really hope there's a second series, it deserves several.
SunTrap (2015)
Very poor, certainly not funny
Basically Kayvan Novak from facejacker and Bradley Walsh. Genuinely couldn't make it through the 1st episode.
Novaks comedy works in off the wall, short sketches, but it just doesn't work in this. It tries to be quick fire comedy and witty, but it just isn't. Rather pretentious oddly.
Maybe its the combination of Bradley Walsh as well. Walshs 'comedy' is basically prescribed and its delivery rather obvious, like a magician trying to be a comedian or a comedy uncle who has saved up one liners. Its just awkward. He is sometimes funny, but often not. Navak is often funny, but sometimes not. Combine the two trying to be witty and what results just isn't funny.
The 1st episode is just terrible. Full of holes in the story, really poor slapstick and badly delivered lines. I like facejacker, well some of it anyway, so wanted to like this, but it just doesn't work. Walsh belongs on game shows, he isn't bad at them, but a good comedian he isn't.
No idea what the other reviewers were watching. You would have to be pretty easily amused to think this witty. I'd go as far as saying they had vested interest as I can't imagine who this would appeal to.
Dumb and Dumber To (2014)
Funniest film I've seen!
The first film was very funny, in my opinion at least. In fact I do not know anyone who didn't like it and think it is pretty much regarded as one of the funniest films made, by my generation at least. With that in mind I did not expect this to be anywhere near as funny. Thankfully it was. Actually, it was funnier.
I didn't really find the first scene funny, but after that didn't stop laughing. It has got to be the funniest thing I've ever seen. I don't recall the last time I laughed during a film, it was many years ago. After 15 minutes of this one I genuinely had tears streaming down my face. The whole theatre was falling about, something that I would normally despise. Everyone left with a huge smile on their face. How is it possible not to laugh at this film or dislike it? Really hope they both make something else, alone or as a great double act. There's far too much 'serious', completely prescribed humour and pretentious nonsense about these days. This is a welcome break and just really good fun.
Dracula Untold (2014)
Pretty decent actually, ignore the oddballs
I had to give it 10/10 due to the low score it had. Probably a 7 is more realistic. Its a very decent film and I found it very entertaining. Take it for what it is...a fantasy movie. Expect an entertaining Dracula movie, its what you will get. If you are an amateur film critic, and I stress amateur, or pretentious you will no doubt complain about 'character development' or 'flawed' plots.
As for many of the others reviewers annoyed as it is not historically accurate. What! My god. That's like complaining that the Elves in lord of the rings didn't really speak proper Elvish. Does not and never did exist. Yes, Vlad Tepes existed, but he wasn't really a vampire, surprising, I know . The issue, if you were looking for historical facts, would not be that the year was wrong or that Sultan Mehmet didn't die in Transylvania, it would be that he wasn't really a vampire haha. It's gobsmacking bad logic. It is based on MYTH! Its like complaining that 'the never ending story' actually ended.
The acting was fine, good in fact! There were no poor performances and the lead was as good as can be expected for such a film. Much better acting than most 'big name' Hollywood actors. Its worth the watch if you just want to be entertained for 90 minutes and don't want your thoughts 'provoking'.
Full English Breakfast (2014)
Not worth a congolese franc!
I find 95% of British movies great and , to be honest, am probably rather biased, as I tend to dislike typical Hollywood movies, save a few. Even the British movies a lot of people do not like, I tend to. This is the reason I decided to watch the film, after reading the negative reviews on IMDb. A decision I regret. A single penny, cent, yuan or congolese franc spent on this movie is one utterly wasted. It is simply an abomination.
Firstly it is just odd, very odd. The timing in every scene is completely off, the dialogue ridiculous and the acting appalling. At one point I genuinely suspected it was a joke and they were attempting some kind of humour by acting as poorly as possible. In fact, perhaps they were. It is the only explanation I can come to.
The film is also accompanied by unnecessary sound effects. The front door to a house closing or opening has the sound effect of a creaking barn door and the sound of footsteps on normal floors replaced by hollow sounding steps. This is all the way through and the effects simply do not match the sound they are replacing would make. This has to be done on purpose, no-one could purposely make such glaring errors. The reason for this is perplexing. Maybe they were trying to be clever or 'arty'. If so, it was a huge failure on both counts.
It seems to have both very bad and very good reviews on IMDb. Like other commentators I can only assume the good reviews were left by people with a vested interest. I'd rather read war and peace backwards in Finnish than complete watching this film.
Filth (2013)
Eagerly awaited.
Being an Irvine Welsh fan I eagerly awaited this films release. Thankfully, it didn't disappoint.
It is pretty much as the book. I preferred the book, certainly worth reading if you haven't already. However, I would consider it a very good attempt at putting it on the big screen. It certainly did no harm to the book and was well and creatively put together. Capturing Welsh's dark and surreal tales would always be a difficult challenge and to even get near it would require considerable thought, creativeness and talent. Doing this whilst trying to appeal to a wider audience would no doubt be a tightrope.
McAvoy proved himself, again, to be an very good actor. Eddie Marson played his part very well too, although he never seems to get the credit he deserves. All in all, very well acted. I would personally like the same people and cast to attempt more Irvine Welsh, perhaps Marabou Stork Nightmares, although it appeal may be limited.
Definitely worth seeing and certainly a very good film, especially if you want to see something with a little more thought than mass produced Hollywood type nonsense.
I have given it a 9 to try and get the score up to 8-9 as it's got to worth 8 plus.
Gravity (2013)
Cows in Space
The idea for this film was very good and the film itself should also have been. The effects were great and it must have had a huge budget.
Unfortunately, as with most things Hollywood, it was utterly ruined by a terribly cheesy and utterly unbelievable script. Some, in fact most, of the lines were just awful. Do people really buy into this stuff? It is extremely unrealistic.
It really was akin to a low budget soap opera or an episode of 'which ever country you are in has talent'. I suspect the focus was on the characters 'journey' , 'as people'. You get the idea.
On many occasions this completely detracted form the story to make it unrealistic. Bullock is running out of oxygen for, what seems like, an age and panicking for, what seems like, an age, and needs to get into the space station. When she gets there, starved of oxygen, they decide to have a cheesy 'heart to heart' conversation before she eventually attempts to enter. You, well I at least, sat there thinking, 'hold on, you are about to die...right?'. This includes discussing what colour eyes they think Clooney has. Its just bad !
More over, Sandra Bullock has got to be the most wooden, emotionless actress I have ever seen. Does she really get paid huge sums of money for her 'acting'? They could have used a real bullock, called it 'Cows in Space' and it would have been more believable. I knew she was in it before watching, which filled me with dread, but then the idea was my kind of film.
In the beginning the space station they are space walking on gets hit, at high velocity, with debris, resulting in catastrophic damage and many dead. Bullock is thrown through space, hitting the space station at a very high speed and swung around on a large arm. Her response was completely out of sync with the situation and far too mild. She sounded like someone jogging ! Am i the only one who sees this? She sounds, acts and looks the same whether on a speeding bus about to be blown up, in a television interview or being thrown around space at high speed. It's like she's on prozac! Who in their right mind would cast her? She's a prime example that being reasonably pretty means more in Hollywood than being talented.
In summary the idea and basic story is great, as are the effects. The makers unfortunately went with 2 big names that are handsome or pretty rather that actors could do it justice and added a cheesy 'Hollywood' script, thus ruining it. Avoid !
Cloud Atlas (2012)
Masterpiece
Without doubt one of the best movies I have seen for a very long time. Really would go so far as to say a masterpiece. Never called a movie un-missable, but this is.
There is no point describing the story as it will spoil it. Most of the acting is out-standing. Ben Wishaw, Bae Doo-na, Jim Sturgess and Jim Broadbent in particular were magnificent. The casting was also excellent. It is isn't over-pretentious or over-acted.
The version I saw was around two and a half hours but this flew by and I ended up not wanting it to end. Apparently there is a four hour version. If so, I would certainly watch it again.
The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)
Childish ....and just bad !
This defines bad ! An African American guy, with a thick new york accent, is a black smith in what looks like China thousands of years ago. Added to that a rather camp leader of a Chinese gang with an American accent. Some truly awful acting and script too. The acting is either wooden or completely over-acted.
As for the musical score. Modern rap? Then some cowboy western stand off type music thrown in. Over a Chinese, possibly 17th century (just a guess), martial arts film? It just does not work and you'd have to question anyones ability to recognise what works, never mind ability to direct, that even considered it for a second.
Usual tarrantino crudity involved. Its pretty schoolboy too.
Tarrantino has said this is the worst film he's made, considering he's made some very bad ones, by his own admission its extremely bad. It's like a 13 yr old boy has been given a massive budget and too much sugar. Genuinely, its just really childish. Its the type of film a 30yr old who wears his underwear over his pants and pretends he's a super-hero would like......and thats a maybe
Ecstasy (2011)
Avoid Avoid Avoid
Worst film of its genre I have seen and there are some real stinkers. Really didn't get it, at all. I have read all Irvine Welsh books, including his early works and am truly speechless. Was really looking forward to seeing it. Sacrilege! Started off o.k, then lost its way and turned into a disgracefully cheesy, poorly scripted, love story. Male character massages female character 'youve had your heart broken, I can feel it in your back' cue dance music. 'its the small things that matter, you don't talk about them'....'the small things are the big things'. WHAT! Actors with really poor dutch, Scandinavian and even Scottish accents, can do better myself! Basically just dance music punctuated by terrible 'love' dialogue and speed-ed up camera work. Genuinely had to turn it off as the dialogue was that embarrassing it make me queasy. Its the anti train-spotting and in no way resembles Irvine Welshs work. If you are expecting a Danny Boyle type or Irvine Welsh based movie you will be sorely disappointed. It contains drugs , yes, and its based in Scotland. Thats it.
Suing the Devil (2011)
Weak, very weak.
Genuinely could not watch more than 10 minutes. Possibly the worst acting I've seen. Very weak, badly scripted. It cuts terribly. The idea and story intrigued me as it is isn't your usual unintelligent drool. How-ever, this makes it even worse.
To take a mundane story and through acting, wit, scripting etc etc and make it interesting or exciting requires talent and character. To take an interesting idea and make it unbearable to watch requires the exact opposite.
Maybe its the directors fault, but really is weak. To call it amateurish is an insult to amateurs.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
god bless America
Another syphilitic dose of the same bile drenched Hollywood disaster.
I feel the title should really have been 'another movie for idiots' All American, self loving cheese....again!!! Lets give it up! please! We all know you want the world to know you love yourselves, we know you are 'trying to learn, understand and grow, but hey, make mistakes because your just god damn human' plus many other, cliché'd well documented, other American 'god bless America' values that could make a butcher vomit.
We aren't buying it !! You are only fooling yourselves Enough is enough, come on Hollywood, make something decent with intelligent actors and scripts.
I would have put my eternal soul on there being the words 'i speak for the united states of America' line in there somewhere. Of course like independence day and all the other disaster movies its main focus is a major us city.
Amazing how the aliens always seem to choose new york, central park, oh yeah, thats where id land my space ship ha-ha.
Of course there's the 'moral lesson' in there and its spelt out for you, not once, but twice! Keanue eventually tells her he's come to 'save the earth from us' WE are ruining it ! Really? ....ohhh if only i knew, thank god Hollywood has spelt it out for me in a medium i can really understand and connect with. heehaw. She also repeats it twice, just in case there's any 'elderly' people in the audience . 'so you've come to save earth, you come to save earth...from us' Dumb Dumb Dumb
She also really does do a terrible job at the 'oh dear, I've just realised the alien sat in my car has come to wipe out the human race' look. Her expression was akin to someone who just discovered she packed salmon sandwiches for lunch, which she thought she might save for weekend, but in hind-sight, it doesn't really matter. Shocking !!! If this is acting I'm jack Nicholson and Anthony Hopkins rolled into one steaming hot ball of hot acting love. These people really get paid for this??? Isn't it a little like a gymnast with poor balance. I thought acting skills were a pre-requisite of being an actor, possibly not.
Badly scripted, extremely predictable and wooden performances all round.
The brat was the most annoying element and was a ridiculous addition.
Keanue is cast, as in matrix, as someone different to the rest of us, but still a human being. Amazing how he really can pull off the 'looks human, but without any real emotion' performance exceedingly well. There's a reason for this....he cant actually portray any emotion. Which is commonly known as acting. When will Hollywood's directors actually start using people who have character or at least pretend All in all, bad. Surprised i didn't hear the lines 'youre the best of the best' and 'this is the greatest nation on earth' etc etc, but you cant have it all.
Feel sorry for john cleese. An intelligent gentleman who can act should'NT have to resort to pretending to do equations, that blatantly mean nothing , on a black board with an super intelligent alien (who also cant act ;-)) and use lines like 'hey, maybe we aren't so different after all' but if you choose to sell out, then such is life.
My advise, watch something else, in fact, anything else