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corybrox
Reviews
Season of the Witch (2011)
Season of the Witch - Notable Errors
Within the first ten minutes of the movie, the top of the screen is riddled with amateur film making mistakes such as set lights, boom mics, and Lens Hoods in nearly every shot of the film. If you are unfortunate enough to see this movie, be sure to watch the top of the screen for its entire duration, because I can assure you that it will be more interesting than any of the acting or dialogue that you're going to hear or see. Unfortunately, Nicholas Cage does not rival his performances in The Wicker Man, Next, or Ghost Rider.
Ron Perlman is . . . . well, Ron Perlman, running around, beating guys up. Other than Christopher Lee, degrading himself for his role, there are no other notable actors to mention. But, their guide, his name and character both forgettable maintains his Brooklyn Accent throughout the course of the movie.
My favorite part, which is the best part in the movie, is not due to action or story. It has to do with the special effects, but not in the way you're expecting. When they are trying to push the carriage on the bridge, for a split second you see the whole top half of a enormous green screen. It was, magnificent to say the least.
In closing, I cannot emphasis how mind-numbingly incredible, it is to see a movie get past post production and released with so many production errors which wouldn't have been that hard to fix.
Unless they fix the errors with the DVD release, go see this for the lolz, otherwise avoid this like the plague.
Mercury Man (2006)
hahaha what is this real?
ahhaha mercury man. Well where do I start? I can sum it up with 3 words. Asian Spider Man. This movie was terrible, but i mean you get a group of buddies together to watch it for humor values and its worth it. The fighting is Generic, and uninteresting. The storyline is fantastic, if you are 4 years old. The dubbing is well done. Not. It seems like they took one big take. No retrying. To be honest, imagine playing a very pitiful video game with no continues. Thats what the dubbing was like. The story revolves around something about a moon and sun amulet and if you are to use both of them it would be the power of 1/3rd the atom bomb on Hiroshima. Now, when we're talking about superhero movies, that is not a lot of energy at all. The Tridium in Spider-man 2 was interesting, I could understand that. But i mean the sun and moon amulets, that's just stupid. Somehow some dude thinks he can kill Chan (the main character) by stabbing him with the sun amulet, but this only makes him stronger. Then some girl finds him, (once again the storyline is brilliant work of art) and knows all about its power. Then he goes on a pitiful montage where he turns into a crappy CG animation and jumps on a car of 2 bad guys trying to escape from the police in a car. He also breaks a up a gang fight. That part was very funny.
Finally the movie comes to its climax. A girl he was fighting the whole movie gets injected with the moon amulet, and has the powers of freezing. stupid, i know. But the coolest part of the movie is where he gets frozen in some water, and explodes out of it, and freaking holds his knees up in the air like some sort of rollerblading grab trick, and lands down on the girls face, who explodes from it. LULZ filled my mom's basement as we all laughed with constant arrays of confused looks. That, made the movie worth it.
But I mean, this movie does contend with how bad Spider-man 3 was.
The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior (2008)
109 Min of pure pain. . .
Super Awful Movie Night. A classic gem. So there we were, cruising through blockbuster, when we stumbled upon, what might arguably be, one of the most influential monumental achievements in recent film making history. Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior. How they came up with a marvelous title like that, One could fathom for the rest of his life. I don't know what sold it to me more, the incredible choreography during the fight scenes or the very complex, intricate storyline, full of twists and turns carefully execute with Randy Couture's superb acting (You know, he won the light heavyweight title at UFC 44 by defeating Tito Ortiz).
I lost myself between the compelling powerpoint transition effects (the wipes). I believe the characterization between Mathayus and Layla was one that rivals Casablanca. Every witty anecdote by the Poet (not scribe, mind you) was hilarious, and definitely added to the comedic humor. The stunt sequences were mind blowing, not to mention the appropriately injected slow motion sequences, with some of the finest CGI that has ever graced cinematic history (The Invisible Scorpion).
My only complain about the movie was that it Didn't see a big Screen release.
Köshpendiler (2005)
the worst
This is simply put, the worst movie I have ever seen. It ranges from like 2+ hours, and the box art was totally misleading. My friends and I rented it because, we thought it would be a poor man's 300. You know, to laugh at and make fun of. No. There is nothing funny about this movie, only pain. Then, the movie starts up, and they are speaking some sort of different language. We think, 'Oh its just the beginning.' But no, from there the movie plummets and becomes more of like a super boring book you had to read in grade school, where nothing literally happens for hours, and the battle scenes rival those of 2 kids fighting on a playground. Omit Cinematography, and this movie belongs in trash compactor. Movies like this will lead to the world we see in Wall-E, which by the way was a good movie.
Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004)
terrible
Wow, me and a bunch of friends rented this movie for super awful movie night. And it delivered. It was horrible i'd give it 2/10. The dialogue, the storyline in general is a copy of Steven King's 'The Thing.' The only reason why i gave it a 2/10, was because we got to see an attractive female's boobs. Other than that, I don't know what they were thinking while writing the script. It seems to have given up hope during the middle. . . actually no. The entire movie hopeless. The story from start to finish is terrible. The acting is awful, the main character thinks he's awesome, which some arrogant bad dialogue (think devil may cry, but way worst) will arise. At least in the first Starship Troopers the Bugs vs. Human battles were cool! In this one, they just shoot. But final comments, I leave you with this. This movie doesn't deserve a fraction of the name of the first one. So, treat this movie like a bug, and take it outside and smash it.