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Shortbus (2006)
1/10
Pretentious garbage
30 October 2006
I saw this movie last weekend and thought it was the most boring film I'd seen in quite some time. The characters are such self-indulgent whiners with no basis for their angst besides 9/11, an angle that's poorly realized in the script. "I'm so beautiful and have such a great life but I'm so sad. Waaaaah!" It seemed like John Cameron Mitchell sat around a café in New York and thought up a bunch of vignettes without providing his characters any personality whatsoever. If these characters spent more time going to dinner and a movie or reading a book they'd have a lot less to time to torture themselves over their sexual problems. I loved "Hedwig", but "Short Bus" was a huge disappointment. If you really have to see actors having actual sex, rent porn where it's at least erotic.
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eXXXorcisms (2002)
1/10
Boring arty garbage!
7 October 2002
This is one of the worst "art" films I've ever seen. The story, about a man who contacts his dead lover in a haunted mall, is inconsequential since 40 minutes of its 78 minute running time is a monologue by the lead actor filmed as a straight-on head shot. Any actor, from Olivier to Richard Burton, couldn't sustain an audience's interest over that length of time. This monologue eventually ends with a sex scene between the man and his dead love, but this sequence is filmed so far out of focus that they appear to be two protoplasm trying to divide under a microscope. Other than serving as a replacement for over-the-counter sleep aids, eXXXorcismos has no reason to exist. Seventy-eight minutes never seemed so long!
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