khodan Reviews

Hostel (2005)

Here's a movie idea.....

[7 October 2011]

OK,OK,OK...OK, so you have these guys that are like the ones in Porky's? But, instead of a strip bar in a swamp they're trying to sneak in to see naked breasts....it's Europe! See...yeah, and they're cruising their hyperactive hormones among foreigners like those depicted in National Lampoon's European Vacation...you know, with the American tourists behaving like the ugly Americans the pseudo-intellectual Euro-trash like to poke fun at.....and then...OK,OK,OK, this is good....take Texas Chainsaw, but instead of Texas, now, it's in.....get ready for this....Bratislava!! Yeah, I know...Eastern Europe...cool,huh? A bunch of Leatherfaces....and a gay one, too!...poke, prod, and mutilate our heroes using utensils from Aisle 7 of your local hardware store!! I'm loving this! Everyone's gonna love it!! And...for some comedy relief, you know, to keep the sadistic violence from being a buzz-kill, we throw in a bunch of sweet lil' street urchins as a psychopathic pre-teen youth gang (think Charles Manson as Alfalfa).....and here's the hook.....they kill you unless you give them bubble gum!! I know, it's great,huh?

So that's it basically....throw in a bunch of nude young women just to hack off the feminists and get the teen-age boys into seats....maybe include the name of a great and talented director...Americans stumbling over the native languages....and, for good measure, the "talking butt-cheeks" bit that always floors 'em!

I tell ya, it's a Can't Miss!!!!

Rocky (1976)

American Masterpiece

[10/10 · 9 July 2011]

Over the Fourth of July, I was channel surfing and caught Rocky on AMC....and as usual, after watching about 20 seconds, it sucked me in again to watch it for the 124th time or so. Since it's been about 35 years since Rocky premiered, I was waxing nostalgic about the film.

It's so impressive now to remember that Stallone wrote the film, then went up against the Hollywood movie industry and got it made even though he had only been in a few previous movies prior to this. AND, he wouldn't sell it unless he was cast to play the title character, turning down offers even though he was broke and hungry at the time. He believed...and wouldn't compromise.

So basically, as a kid, a novice in Hollywood, Sylvester Stallone created one of the true all- time classic American movies....a masterpiece that has grown even stronger over time....with an Academy Award, necessary or not, to add its official stamp of approval.

Over the years of his career since them he has had many ups and downs. He's been the butt of jokes, always type-cast, let his celebrity status overshadow his movie roles. He's been grouped in with Schwarzenegger, Seagal, Van-Damme...just another cookie-cutter action- hero...and hey, he's chosen the roles that put him there. Nobody's ever compared him to Pacino, Spielberg, or any of the upper echelon of the Hollywood elite.

But then there's Rocky. It'll probably never place higher than The Godfather on the all-time lists....never compare to Citizen Kane or Casablanca in film school discussions...or mentioned in conversations discussing Pulp Fiction or Schindler's List.

But Rocky is the cinema equivalent of Tom Sawyer, The Grapes of Wrath, The Old Man and the Sea....a true American classic.

His portrayal of the title character (which was probably more just being himself than acting) embodied what all us guys want to be. He was a guy who knew where he came from, he didn't have much, but what he had was yours if you needed it, he tried to guide those in his neighborhood down the right path, he remembered to always feed and care for his pet turtles, Cuff and Link...he was a street-tough that was sweet, kind and gentle. He was a friend to a guy, Paulie, who didn't deserve his friendship, and he fell in love with a woman and treated her as if she were a Queen. He knew he couldn't offer her much in the way of the material trappings of life, so he gave her what he could...himself, his heart and his unconditional love....He was humble in attitude, and gave respect to everyone, regardless of their position in life. Stallone wrote and portrayed the character that all us American guys hope and try to be. And when offered the chance to make a dream come true, Rocky Balboa accepted the challenge. The South Philly lunk put his American work ethic into achieving his goal...something all of us are...or want to believe we are...doing in our own lives.

The hero doesn't win in the end, at least not on the scorecard...but his victory comes from knowing that he gave it his all...he didn't give up.

So this is a movie that grabs your heart and shows you that if you believe that good things can happen...and if you just be true to yourself...that the journey is itself the victory, and the people we love and who love us are the real treasures in our lives. If you're not cheering at this movie, than you may not have a pulse...and you're definitely lacking a soul.

When you're in one of those ruts where nothing seems to be going your way, when bad luck is your constant companion, and you're asking yourself, what's the use? Rocky will give you an encouraging pat on the shoulder, a firm kick in the butt, and let you know that you're not alone in your struggles.

That a kid outta Hells Kitchen wrote the script, and nailed the lead role, is an underdog story in itself. No matter what Stallone has done since...or will do in the future....he created Rocky, one of the greatest American movies..and characters... .ever made. No one can ever take that from him.

So thank you Sylvester Stallone. I'm grateful for the gift of your movie.

House M.D.: Broken (2009) Season 6, Episode 1

A true masterpiece

[10/10 · 2 September 2010]

I just watched "Broken" on DVD and calling this episode a masterpiece feels like an understatement. While the writers and director deserve a huge round of applause, Hugh Laurie just knocks this one out of the park...plain and simple.

After reading some of the other reviews, I learned that Laurie has not yet won an Emmy (hopefully I'm wrong.) If he doesn't win the Emmy for this episode, the only reason is that he's going to win the Oscar for Best Actor. An Emmy seems too little for his performance...and he is as good in "Broken" as any Oscar winner in the past.

At 82 minutes, and without commercials, I was able to submerge myself in House's new "house..." the psychiatric hospital he checked into at the end of Season 5. While some parts were hysterical (..."now I'm committed. Ha! get it?") ...like when he immediately and accurately diagnoses his fellow patients, then triggers their psychoses and phobias with his caustic wit...classic House grumpiness and cynicism! And yet, other parts left me in tears...House realizing he was broken...and feeling lost. Of course, Laurie was surrounded by talented actors who were allowed to shine for this show. His roommate, Alvy, and the psychiatrist played by Andre Braugher, delivered wonderful performances....Braugher's short yet powerful scene by his father's bedside left me in tears. The ending...when Silent Woman speaks through her cello...and Alvy is inspired to want to "get better," lets us experience the joy of their triumph. Watching House try to get over the things he can't fix....when his whole life is based on fixing others... allows us to feel his struggle.

The writing was just sublime....understated in allowing us, the audience, to feel the sadness, the joy, and the victory without beating us over the head with the cliché club. Like an exquisitely sharp scalpel....the performances cut into me so cleanly that my emotions poured freely from my heart.

"Broken" is what all forms of drama should aspire to...be they television, movies, theater...or even books...and "Broken" is simply, a perfect 82 minutes of television.

My only fear is that this is the peak of a truly magnificent series....I don't know how the talent and creativity behind House would ever be able to top this success.

Hugh Laurie has crafted the perfect character...so many layers creating the complexity of his role. His strength is evident...yet the more he tries to hide his vulnerability, the more vulnerable we find him to be. This fear is something we can all identify with, I believe. Dr. House is overflowing with character defects, yet one can't help but to love him. He has created the ideal hero that is a mirror to all of us who find ourselves hopelessly human.