NiteAnjel Reviews

The Amityville Horror (2005)

Disaffected and disappointed

[4/10 · 12 May 2005]

I went into this movie with an open mind. I love the original and thought that maybe the new Hollywood can capture what might have been lost back in 1979. And how I was crushed when I found out I had been let down hard.

The whole pace of the movie is very off-beat. Hard to follow in some places and others drags too much. This time around they seem to rely on the "jump out and scare you" routine. Every so often there's an image or some blood. OK, I did like the finger thing. That kind of freaked me out. But in this day and age of movies, it's been way overdone. Scale it back to bare essentials and you've got something. I think what made the original so creepy is what they DIDN'T show you. They left it in your head and that's what kept you up later that night at home...3 weeks later. But in this one, they leave nothing to the imagination going all out on the gore and violence.

As for the participation by the actors...well...OK. I like Reynolds, but he cannot hold a candle to Brolin. Just something about James Brolin made that movie. Reynolds looked as if he was trying to channel his predecessor instead of making the role his own. It felt very forced. All in all, if you want to scare your girlfriend, by all means see it. But if you want true cinematic horror, see the original and be done with it.

The Edukators (2004)

I feel...educated

[8/10 · 11 May 2005]

By day, Jan (Daniel Brühl) and Peter (Stipe Erceg) are anti-globalization activists protesting on the streets where they live. By night, they are The Edukators. Their mission: to boldly mess with the heads of Germany's high society types by breaking into their villas, rearranging the furniture and leaving vaguely threatening notes such as "YOUR DAYS OF PLENTY ARE NUMBERED". It's a strictly non-violent, politically motivated operation and nothing is ever stolen. Well, that's not entirely true.

But one of their operations turns into a potential disaster when Peter's girlfriend Jule (Julia Jentsch) gets involved. When things go wrong when harassing a millionaire businessman, Hardenberg, Jules owes money to, the trio resort to kidnap, tossing their terrified victim (played by Burghard Klaussner) into a van and driving him to a remote Alpine cabin owned by Jules's uncle.

With Peter and Jan battling over Jules's affections and Hardenberg manipulating the emotional situation between them all, it seems that the stage is being set for some kind of unpleasantness, but The Edukators doesn't pan out that way. Instead, the team learns a thing or two about life from their manipulative prisoner – himself a former radical – as the film edges its way to toward an unexpectedly upbeat ending.

Shot on digital video, The Edukators has a rough and ready feel but writer/director Hans Weingartner maintains a tight rein on the action and draws out some fine performances, especially from Brühl. That said, it's a little long-winded at 127 minutes and the reliance on repeat plays of Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah to underscore the emotional climax of the film strikes a sour note in a film that's generally handled with a very light touch.

Mindhunters (2004)

They're isolated and forgotten

[7/10 · 11 May 2005]

Did trainee supervisor Harris (Val Kilmer) really send this band of prospective FBI profilers to a small island to be sliced, diced and ultimately done away with by a sadistic killer? That's of course one of the possibilities the crack team have to work out when all of a sudden they find themselves one-by-one falling victim to a series of carefully laid traps.

With most serial killer films, especially those who happen to snag a star or two, it's usually pretty easy to predict who's going to be the killer, who's going to be the hero, and what essentially is going to go down for every minute of the film. However, Renny Harlin's "Mindhunters" robs, shreds and rids you of 'The dummies guide to making a serial killer movie' booklet and instead heads back into the annals for something genuinely original, surprising and kind of exciting.

Films along the same story have been done before - the box flop "D-Tox" and the acclaimed "Identity" being just two recent examples – but never has an ensemble thriller that probably wants no more than to be a consideration come Saturday matinée been such a surprising revelation. The twists are never-ending, the pacing is surprisingly good, but that music was annoying.

From it's smart opening sequence (that'll trick the audience...a little) to its constantly unraveling secret stratagem, Harlan's movie is ultimately outed as an excellent addition to the genre. Leave those now-customary 'I bet I know who it is' thoughts at the door.

Big Money Hustlas (2000 Video)

A must-see for any Juggalo.

[15 November 2004]

I bought this movie the day it was released. I love it. Written by ICP's own Violent J, it is too funny for words, really. There is constant action and the acting, though it is meant to be a satire or farce, is actually not that bad...sometimes. But this movie is not really for the average movie watcher. Though some might find it funny, others will just dismiss it as being stupid and not really grasping what it is. What is it, you ask? It is for the Juggalos. What is a juggalo? I don't know.

Shaggy 2 Dope plays Sugar Bear, a rhyming parody of Dolemite. He teams with police chief Johnny Brennan (Jerky Boys) to go after the biggest gangsta in Detr...New York, Big Baby Sweets played by Violent J. Big Baby has a whole team of thugs including, Big Stank and Lil Poot (played by fellow rappers Twiztid), Bootleg Greg (Rerun Berry), and Hack Benjamin (Jumpsteady-Violent J's brother).

Sugar Bear must defeat them all with the help of whiny partner Harry Cox (Harlan Williams), and that's no easy task. But they're up for the job, especially when trained by Dolemite himself!!! See the action...see the excitement...see the big breasts!!! Go see Big Money Hustlas today!

MMFCL to all--this movie gets a 10 out of 10 from the Dallas down south Juggalo.

Pros & Cons (1999)

Lots-o-laughs

[4 November 2004]

I happened to enjoy this film. I am a big comedy guy, and this came on @ 3 am on HBO. I'm a big Larry Miller fan so I watched it. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Sure some of the jokes are played out and we've seen them a hundred times, but for some reason, from Larry, it's funnier.

The plot kind of drags once they escape prison and head for the club and the brokerage house. But soon after, it's over, so there really is no room to be down for too long.

I would recommend this movie for anyone who just needs a good laugh every now and again. But considering the acting, plot and dragging thru, I'll give it 6 1/2.

Donnie Darko (2001)

Couldn't stop watching.

[8 October 2004]

This was remarkably the best movie I've seen in a long time. The first time I saw it I was totally involved with everything. The acting chops for Jake Gyllenhaal were right on for this performance. He has that "I'm a misunderstood-brooding teen on the verge of killing everyone" thing going for him. This was also the best movie for Jena Malone since "Cheaters". Drew Barrymore, Katharine Ross, Patrick Swayze add to this movies character in itself. (And who can argue with Swayze as a kiddie-porn king)?

But, for me and most the people I talk to, you have to see it a couple of times for it all to sink in and make some sense. But it takes nothing away from the movie at all. The parents acting, though good enough, could have been better. But dinner time was never more fun-"How exactly does one suck a f**k?" P.S.--Frank is now my new hero.

Twisted plot, above-par acting, well-rounded cast and good direction makes me give this movie and well deserved 9/10.

The Tale of the Bunny Picnic (1986 TV Movie)

A pure classic.

[31 May 2004]

I loved this movie so much growing up. I watched it at least twice a week. It ranks right up there with the all time children's movies like Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas, Nester the Longeared Donkey and the like.

This movie had characters you can never forget. Like Bean, or the dog that was pretty much the dumbest dog you'd ever seen. But also the sweetest. The colors and music...even now I want to watch twice a week. Maybe more if I didn't have to work. It's hard to find this now, though. But if you do, get it and watch it....twice a week....just for me.

A great family film for any collection. You never get tired of Jim Henson.....anyone have any Tylenol?

Vampire Journals (1997 Video)

A true telling...

[11 April 2004]

I've seen lots of movies, and plenty from the "Vampire" genre. This is one of the finest made. It's very poetic in it's writing and detail. The acting, while not overly astounding, is very well accomplished. As soon as I saw this movie, I then went out and bought it. I'm not saying you should do the same. The feeling of this movie is either your will like it or not...no in the middle here.

The settings, the score is all so sombre and gothic. A love story caught in a fantasy drama mileu. It's beautifully portrayed throughout the entire movie and never once did I regret a single frame. There are some movies on this subject that make me feel the stars should have been aborted at zygote stage. (*cough*brad pitt*cough*)

Enough said--8 1/2 out of 10.

May (2002)

Stunned.

[7 April 2004]

A friend of mine recommended this movie and I never rented it. It came on TV and I watched it. I was speechless throughout the entire movie. The story was basically Frankenstein reborn. The acting, while not spectacular, was above normal independent standards. At first it moves a little slow and is kind of off kilter. Then once May starts to kind of go nuts, things really pick up. Isn't that always the way? The tag line say it all, "If you can't find a friend...make one." and May does just that. Then comes the end. No spoilers here, but let's just say this is the most intriguing, shocking, gory and above all else, the most horrendous ending I've ever seen. But it made me feel sad and dismayed. I felt for this character. And when something like that happens, the movie is special. 8 out of 10.

Cheerleader Ninjas (2002)

Good God.....

[11 January 2004]

This movie played out every single cheerleading cliché in the book, and not very well even. I thought this movie was terrible. For one thing, being low budget does not mean you have to be low on plot...or talent...or common sense. The acting is, and to put it gently, substandard, if not blatantly retarded. The story was not funny or even the slightest bit interesting. The horror flick "Cheerleading Camp" should win an Oscar compared to this.

No redeeming qualities are in this film except one. One funny line. Once you get past the fantasy sister sex scene, the fart jokes, the stupid villains, poor fight scenes and literal jokes is one funny line. A guy is eating chips from a bag that says Olestra. His friend says, "Those cause anal leakage!" To which the reply is, "They better!!" 1 1/2 out of 10. And that's generous.

Fletch (1985)

A classic if there ever was one.

[15 July 2003]

Spoiler This movie is by far one of the most well-crafted scripts ever. Every joke is put in the perfect place and Chevy Chase has the right dry humor to deliver them. In between the jokes is a decent plot of a journalist Irwin Fletcher aka Jane Doe (Chase) who uncovers a major story on drugs, murder, multiple wives and crooked cops. This movie has it all. It goes as follows: Fleth meets Allen Wyck who asks him to kill him. Fletch accepts and later falls for Wyck's wife. In the course of his love he spends much time on the beach hanging with junkies Fat Sam and Gummy--which is how he stumbles onto the crooked cops. Later investigating Mr. Wyck he learns he is married to a girl in Provo, Utah. When it's discovered Fletch goes to his ends to put it all together finding out that Police Chief Carlin is in cahoots with Wyck on a scam worth millions. Fletch wins, gets the girl and so goes it.

With classic dialogue to be repeated throughout the ages, such as: "I'll have a Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich...and a steak sandwich.", "I was going to buy this place till I found out Butch Cassidy killed himself here. Bow and Arrow...very strange.", "What the hell you need with ball bearings?" and "Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo."

I have owned this movie for years and laugh everytime I see it. Disappointed as I was with the sequel "Fletch Lives", this is the keeper. I would recommend this movie to anyone who was looking for some laughs.