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Open Water (2003)
10/10
You people just don't get it
31 May 2008
Open Water was one of the greatest movies I have ever seen. Being a complete dive bum, I have dived in open water with nobody but myself before. If you can't relate to this, then don't write a review telling how awful the movie is, because Open Water is exactly the opposite.

Based on a true story, Open Water is a terrifying (once again, for those of us who can actually relate) experience, with the emotional horrors of loneliness. People say that the movie is boring because there is no other setting other than the ocean for an hour and a half, but you have to truly love the ocean and it's beauty in order to find where the heart of the film lies. Being alone in the water, with no one around except Bull sharks (who by the way are rated as the number 1 most deadly shark in the world, ahead of the Great White) is absolutely horrific. It doesn't take much intelligence to hate this film, because thoughts and experience with the ocean itself are necessities to understand the films message.

I have also dived at night time as well. As all professionals scuba and free divers know, this is a very, very dangerous and unnecessary risk to take. If I learned anything about night diving in the ocean, it is the sickening nervous feeling in your stomach. You can't really see what's ahead, until you come almost face to face with whatever lies ahead, such as a coral reef. Never have I night dived again. Night diving, by far, is the most petrifying thing I have ever done. This is probably the reason that I had to bite down on my napkin during the night scene with the Tiger Shark. This indeed brought back memories, and I began to really be scared not for myself, but just for the characters. There are few things scarier than diving at night. And no, I'm not talking about diving a few yards from shore. I'm talking about a full on free dive, just as if it were in the morning. Of course, the film was completely realistic, because it was not a Bull shark in the night scene, it was a Tiger Shark. Tiger Shark (my favorite shark by the way) is known for hunting at night.

As I said before, it takes true experience with the ocean and relationship to the characters to understand why this movie is one of the greatest. Also, just a piece of knowledge: The story that this is based off of is still labeled as an unsolved "crime." The myth that detectives and police will never know is that it may have been a set up. I am unsure how this information was released, but it has been said that the husband was planning for this in order to make his wife's murder look like an accident. This is most likely not true, but I'm just giving you some harmless knowledge.

Overall, Open Water is a completely realistic (they used real Bull Sharks) insight to loneliness, fear, and coming face to face with the ocean itself. I said it before and I'll say it again: it takes experience to understand this film. I have an abundance of experience, and take it from a dive bum himself: no other movie tells the truth of fear like Open Water.
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10/10
Just plain fun
25 May 2008
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was one of the greatest movies I have seen in a very, very long time. Harrison Ford was an absolute wonder to see on screen again, as for his age looks astounding. I really am unable to find the words capable of explaining how astronomical Harrison Ford performed in this film, along with the supporting actor, Shia LaBeouf.

I remember when I was younger, watching the Even Stevens series all the time. It was my absolute favorite when I was a kid. Shia LaBeouf wowed me when I began watching some of his first films, especially Holes. Then he began getting into even bigger movies, like Transformers that many people went to see. Now, he is here, in a highly anticipated sequel of Indiana Jones. He has developed into one of the great young actors of our time. Ladies and Gentlemen, this kid will be the next big name in Hollywood. He is absolutely amazing in this film, pulling off a performance that some of the best young actors of our time couldn't even come close to pulling off.

The action scenes in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull seem to never stop. This film is incredibly fast paced, leaving you placed on the edge of your seat throughout. One scene I must comment on was the car chase and sword fight scene. My hat goes off to the entire crew not only for such a wonderful movie, but those scenes in general were enough to do it for me, and should be enough to do it for anyone.

The humor, just like the classic, is still there, and better then ever. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull not only gives us bullet speed pace, but also a great number of laughs in between.

Overall, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is well deserving of the A grade it received by critics, and is an overwhelmingly amazing movie.
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10/10
One of the greatest films ever made, with superb performances showing the horrors of politics
24 May 2008
Lions for Lambs has already become my favorite movie, just a few minutes after watching it. The movie is an absolute masterpiece, with an absolutely brilliant script and masterful dialogue. The film completely expresses an astronomically intense message about how useless the war is and about how brainwashed politics really are about winning it. Tom Cruise and Meryl Streep gorgeously display both views of the war on terror, while Robert Redford gives us the truth about how news and media cover up the war on terror to make it look like nothing really catastrophic is going on when it really is. What we hear on the news is always either one of two things. The first: It is either somewhat true, but there is much, much more to the story. Death, even, may not be included, yet the rest of the story is. The second: it is based on a true story from Iraq, which means that the story is either exaggerated when it is in fact a small matter, or the story isn't exaggerated enough. In the movie, Meryl Streep basically gives the news a story directly from the Senator's mouth, and the news turns it into something completely different, and unimportant. Tom Cruise, as the Senator, completely has no regard for human life. He decides to use small forces, and the same exact thing is happening as in Vietnam. That's why this movie is so deeply breathtaking. You hear from people all the time saying that this war is like Vietnam, yet the reason isn't told with logic. Sure, one of the reasons people say it is like Vietnam is because we are basically there without a purpose. Catching Osama Bin Laden is just not good enough of a reason. However, Lions for Lambs digs deeper than the current people of America, and gives us an insight about why this war is useless. Nothing is being accomplished, while Tom Cruise as the Senator is toying with human lives. The war in Iraq is just horrible, and war in general is horrible.

Politicians are disgustingly corrupt, and Lions for Lambs shows us this, especially when it costs the lives of two soldiers. Tom Cruise wasn't ever going to save them, because he didn't want to admit his own mistake about using small forces.

I would also like to congratulate the entire cast on outstanding performances. Robert Redford, Meryl Streep, and Tom Cruise deliver the performances of the century.

Lions for Lambs is the truth, people.
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Paparazzi (2004)
1/10
It's really a disgrace that my favorite movie "Collateral" came out the same year as this garbage
23 May 2008
First off, I would like to congratulate Cole Hauser as Bo for delivering the worst performance I've seen in years. Thanks for completely wasting my life, Cole. I absolutely found it completely repulsive when his son had just been in a coma, and when one of the employees asks Bo how it's going, and Bo responds with a simple "alright." Are you kidding me? After that, I was almost convinced this was a comedy, after I laughed the entire way through the rest.

The next award for biggest numb skull goes to the Paparazzi guy who was driven off the road, and was hanging off the cliff, when Bo tries to save his life. I'm not going to give spoilers, but I'll just ask you this: What would happen if someone was trying to save you when you were hanging off the edge of a cliff, and while they're in the process of doing it, you make even more threats if they don't save you? Yeah, they'd probably drop you.

Why make such a completely mindless film? You'd think the filmmakers would have some sort of self respect not to embarrass themselves with such a piece of slop. I knew the biggest mistake of my weekend was picking this up. I was so hypnotized by this movie's stupidness that I thought I would never see good acting again. Oddly enough, the performance of the century and the joke of the century came in the same year. The joke: Cole Hauser as Bo. The greatest performance I've ever seen that came out that same year: Tom Cruise as Vincent in the movie "Collateral." Definitely worst acting, dumbest plot, and cheesiest action scenes I've ever seen.
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10/10
Tom Cruise. Steven Spielberg. Enough said.
23 May 2008
First off, let me just say that I've seen a lot of great performances from Tom Cruise. One of his best came just a year before this film, in Collateral as a classy hit-man. After I saw Collateral, I was convinced that his role as the hit-man was the greatest performance I had ever seen in a movie. In War of the Worlds, he proved me wrong. Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning completely stole the show, as their acting was top-notch. I have never seen such a performance, and this is easily the best in a long time.

The plot in War of the Worlds is very simple, yet Steven Spielberg, being the astounding director that he is, does not take it too far, and delivers an adventurous, action packed, and above all very intense movie that has you on the edge of your seat from the beginning to the very end.

The next thing that deserves loads of recognition is the special effects. All I can say is "could they have been better?" Here it is 2008, and I've only seen maybe just a few movies that exceed it. Lets just say it was totally ahead of its time.

War of the Worlds was an absolute masterpiece, a wonder of a film, one of my all time favorites. Don't listen to any reviews saying this movie is anything below a 10/10, because any review that gives it less than that is garbage.
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Bad Santa (2003)
10/10
"Wanna play again?"
21 May 2008
I could sew the producers of Bad Santa as they completely busted my gut.

When you're about ten seconds in to the movie, you are basically warned about what you're in for: a crude, funny as hell movie about Christmas, and a drunk who works as a mall Santa for the holidays. Billy Bob Thorton is an absolute genius in this movie. After the flick is over, you may find yourself asking "how did he do that." Yes, Billy Bob Thorton is that good in this film. He absolutely grabs your laugh box from the very beginning, and shakes it for the next 98 minutes.

However, this isn't all that Bad Santa is about. There are some feel good moments, like when Billy Bob Thorton becomes attached to the "kid." Bad Santa is funny almost all the time, seemingly without even trying. For example, When the kid even says his own name it is funny. "Thurman Murman." I laughed so hard at that one scene, which I don't think was even meant to be funny. Bad Santa obviously isn't for people with a huge Christmas spirit, but it is still such a great comedy.

One of the funniest films EVER made, without a doubt.
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10/10
"Well maybe you'd like to define the word weapon for me while this plastic baby smashes into your temple at 180 miles per hour!"
21 May 2008
Stealing Harvard is such a feel good movie. I can't believe that this film hasn't got the recognition it deserves.

First off, I would like to comment on the amazing acting. Tom Green as "Duff" is absolutely fabulous. He completely sucks you in to the movie, and delivers a hilarious performance. For a normal man to play such a role shows how great of an acting performance that was.

While Jason Lee also did a great job as John Plummer, I have to give the real prize to John C. McGinley as Detective Charles. One minute he is calm like John Plummer, and the next minute he is crazy like Duff! He was incredible to watch, and delivered an astronomical performance, which is sadly very overlooked.

Overall, Stealing Harvard was just an amazing film. I love it, and watch it very often. Anyone who doesn't like this movie obviously couldn't recognize how great it really was.
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10/10
An unmatched WWII masterpiece
19 May 2008
You know, many war movies try to get it right, but completely fail. Great war movies only come around every so often, such as Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, and Apocalypse Now. However, if you notice something, all of the movies I just listed are all about Vietnam. Those 3 movies have all been considered for "greatest war movie of all time", but we haven't seen a "great" WWII movie in quite a while. Well, the wait is over. Saving Private Ryan is also in the list, and near the top as well.

Reinacting a battle like D-Day will almost always fail in cinema. However, Steven Spielberg gets it right and more. Also, when you watch the battle scenes, it makes any other war movie battle look completely lame. I know that veterans say that if you haven't seen real combat, then you just haven't, and I do respect that. It is true. However, when you talk about combat in the movies, Saving Private Ryan is as close as you can come.

Tom Hanks, once again displaying his talent, plays the roll of Captain John H. Miller as if he was really in the military. Tom Hanks is just one of those actors who can play all types of roles, and play them amazingly seemingly without even trying.

There isn't much else to say about Saving Private Ryan, mostly because I just can't find any other words to describe its brilliance.

Saving Private Ryan has its rightful place in history as one of the greatest war films of all time.
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10/10
"I've been devoted to the risin' sun, gonna run all day 'till the runnin's done."
19 May 2008
Full Metal Jacket is a staggering study of war, and what war can do to such a simple, and what seems-to-be normal man. It is an absolute masterpiece, and deserves nothing less than a 10/10.

The bootcamp (AKA: First Part) part of Full Metal Jacket is nothing less than masterful. Ronald Lee Ermey's performance as Gunnery sgt. Hartman is absolutely jaw dropping. I have no more words to explain how great of a job he did. It's funny that originally hired as a technical adviser, and ended up in one of the greatest roles ever performed by a human being.

Vincent D'Onofrio as Pvt. "Gomer Pyle" displays a wonder of a performance as well. Pvt. Pyle, who throughout the film is picked on and pushed to his emotional limits, is eventually turned into a madman. The looks on his face during the movie just send chills down your back. His performance was just absolutely phenomenal. This movie, easily when it comes to acting is one of the 10 greatest films of all time.

Overall, Full Metal Jacket is an amazing look into the horrors of war. This is my favorite film, and one of the greatest ever made.
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Collateral (2004)
10/10
"Yo homie, is that my briefcase?"
15 May 2008
Collateral is a nearly flawless, action, fast paced thriller with superb acting. It is without a doubt one of the best films ever made.

The acting by the film's 2 stars, Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx is absolutely masterful. These 2 already phenomenal actors displayed an even higher notch of excellence in Collateral. Acting-wise, this is definitely one of the most indescribably amazing movies ever.

The script is very simple, and could have been easily taken way too far, however, Michael Mann makes sure that the story is not overdone, and delivers a solid beginning, middle, and fabulous ending.

I know I've already gone over the acting once, but Tom Cruise definitely deserves even more recognition. He plays a professional hit-man just the way it should be played, and more. A hit-man isn't like Rambo, a hit-man doesn't have 5 machine guns strapped to his back and over 50,000 rounds of ammunition. No, Tom Cruise displays a purely flawless performance about what a hit-man really is. A hit-man is supposed to be gentleman-like, and they are supposed to act as if they are going about their daily lives, even before a hit. Many people believe that Tom Cruise's character in the movie was mentally ill because of the way he seemed calm one minute and killed people the next, however he was doing nothing more than his job. It is almost like in a football game, if you are originally a nice person, and you step on the field, you become a killer. Tom Cruise, when doing his job, is a killer. When he is not, he is nothing more than a normal man. This is how great of a performance he delivered.

Collateral opens up with a punch, and never lets up. It is my favorite movie, and one of the most superb action flicks ever made.
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Cast Away (2000)
10/10
What an amazing performance by Tom Hanks
9 May 2008
Cast Away is phenomenal, amazing, indescribably fabulous, and the list just goes on and on.

Tom Hanks is one of the greatest actors to ever set foot on this planet, yes, but this wonder of a performance is a giant leap even for him. Tom Hanks takes you through all of the roller coaster emotions that you actually experience during extreme loneliness.

Cast Away is just overall a brilliant film about what one man must go through to get back home. When Tom Hanks meets and becomes friends with his volleyball friend, (I'm not going to give out any names) you actually start to become attached to the object just as Tom Hanks was in the film. when what happens at the end happens, the viewer actually feels sympathy for the volleyball! That's how great this movie is! The viewer actually begins to treat the ball as a person!

Cast Away is an instant classic, and is a film that absolutely everyone should see.
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10/10
"I'm better when I move."
9 May 2008
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is just a phenomenal film starring two of the biggest studs of their time: Robert Redford and Paul Newman.

Butch Cassidy is indescribably great. It has such a unique feel to it that I was unable to feel on any other film I have ever seen. When I watched this film, I stood in aw after I had comprehended the job that Paul Newman and Robert Redford did. Those two guys completely sucked me in, and almost made it feel as if I was right there next to them throughout the entire movie.

Although bank robbing fugitives, Paul Newman and Robert Redford still make Butch Cassidy and Sundance likable people. Even though they did rob banks, you had an odd feeling of wanting to root for them.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is Astronomically flawless. From the start of the movie until the very end, you are at the edge of your seat, experiencing laughter, adrenaline, gasps, and perhaps even tears when it comes to the end.
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Platoon (1986)
10/10
"Everybody gotta die sometime Red."
3 May 2008
Platoon is as close to Vietnam as you can get. And no, I'm not talking about combat or any of that, however, I'm talking about the sweat, heat, frustration, exhaustion, and emotional horrors of war. I often watch this movie about once every four to five days.

As Tom Berenger being one of my favorite actors, he, as Staff Sgt. Barnes is my favorite character. I know it's hard to like him, but I don't like him for being savage, ruthless or brutal. I like him because his character shows what war can turn a man into.

Platoon is overall a masterful film about war. As I said before, I watch this film on a regular basis, and I have done so for years. Every time I watch, I am touched, and enjoy every minute of it.

Overall, with 3 astounding performances by the great Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, and Charlie Sheen, Platoon is an absolute wonder of a film. Once again, I must tell you how much I love Staff Sgt. Barnes. Hardassism is what Staff Sgt. Barnes defines, and it is what Barnes survived by.

Amazing.
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Mass Effect (2007 Video Game)
10/10
The best game ever by miles
3 May 2008
Mass Effect is so addicting it isn't even funny. Before you read this, I must inform you that I am a big wonderer of space, and admirer of all it's beauties.

Anyway, lets start with the character creation. It is masterful. You can literally look at your friend, just like a professional artist, and make him or her as Commander Shepard. Yeah, it's that in-depth. Also, the fact that you can pick your background history, reputation, and military class is one of the best things I have ever seen in a video game. You can literally be, you.

Now we move on to the conversation options. The conversation options have revolutionized video games. Not only do you create your own character, but you get to say what you would as if you were Shepard. In every conversation tree, there is a ruthless thing to say, a good thing to say, and an in-between thing to say. If you are that person who loves to intimidate and be mean, then say what you must with the click of a button. Also, I will mention that you can even make drastic choices with these options. Throughout the game, there will be times where you actually choose if an innocent person (or alien) lives or dies.

The aliens in Mass Effect are so amazingly detailed that it will actually frustrate you that you can't be one of them as a player. It really puzzles me how a group of people could think of so many different models and creatures. There are so many species of aliens in Mass Effect that you will have trouble naming them all even by the fourth or fifth play-through. Not only this, but in the codex, (your information journal) there is a fairly large background paragraph on EVERY species. The developers had to start from scratch hundreds of times to stop and think of the species names, where they came from, how they originated, how they reproduce, what position they have with the council, what kind of personality they have, if they are good in combat, and much, much more.

The story in Mass Effect is absolute brilliance. With all of the aliens already making the game unique enough, the story is even more original. Nothing was taken from Star Wars or any of that (and if it was, they did a great job of making you believe they didn't). From Spectres (a rank among the council) to the Citidel (Huge space station), Mass Effect just keeps the surprises coming.

There are many planets you can go to in Mass Effect, all of which have a unique environment, (and once again a fairly large description of it's population, hours in a day, days in a year, and characteristics. The hours in a day and days in a year are in comparison to Earth.) Most of the planets contain a side mission that you may choose to do or not do. One thing you cannot miss is going to the moon, and looking into the sky to see Earth. If you have ever seen a real life photo of Earth from space, you will realize how amazingly real it looks.

The graphics in Mass Effect are absolute genius, and nothing comes close to comparison. All of the characters look like real people, and the aliens are so fantastically designed that you will think they are standing right in front of you.

The lasting appeal of Mass Effect is so good that it almost becomes a life-waster, but for good reason because of how good the game is. When you kill enemies, you obtain experience points. When you reach a certain amount of experience points, you level up. Every time you level up, you will need more and more experience points to get to the next level. The top level is 60, and when you are at level 60, you are the elite of the elite when it comes to space soldiers (ha ha) It will take about 2-3 beatings of Mass Effect to obtain the level 60 rank, if you do every side mission each time. If you don't do any side missions, and only choose to play the story, it will take about 4-5 beatings.

Mass Effect is the best game to have ever been developed at this point in time. It will remain the greatest for years to come, and when years have past, it will still be ONE of the greatest. It is a legend.
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Rainbow Six: Vegas 2 (2008 Video Game)
10/10
Tom Clancy does it again
2 May 2008
Rainbow Six Vegas 2 is an absolute wonder of a military game.

The game is basically flawless. The graphics are so amazing and picturesque. I mean, the rainbow squad looks as if they are a real life special forces team.

However, the one thing that completely took me away was the astronomical character customization. You can be a bruiser with tons of armor and huge guns, or a fast, little, quick assassin with not so much armor. You unlock (literally, hundreds) of new customization options as you play the game, when you score experience points for killing enemies.

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST GAMES EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Grand Theft Auto IV (2008 Video Game)
10/10
With out a doubt the best game that has ever been made, and deserves far more than a 10/10
2 May 2008
Grand Theft Auto IV is almost to amazing to even put into words. The graphics on this game are astounding, astonishing, amazing, picturesque, and just good enough to blind you because you will be to stunned to realize how phenomenal they really are, and the whole game. The storyline is absolutely amazing. It had such a huge surprise and twist that I'm sure nobody saw coming.

Not only this, but I think that Rockstar spent countless days and hours going over every, little, minuscule, tiny detail possible. Nothing in this game is unrealistic. I mean, I literally went looking for something I could complain about, and found nothing. The water, when looking at it from land, looks like real water. Seriously, when I saw the water I almost grabbed my bathing suit before I realized it was only video game.

GTA IV also grips the viewer just like a dramatic Oscar award winning movie. The stress and relationships of characters in the cut scenes really make you believe that they are actually real people.

I never thought I'd come to a point where I called a game "perfect", however, I am stating that right now: GRAND THEFT AUTO 4 IS COMPLETELY PERFECT AND FLAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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