story-jonathan Reviews

Glass Onion (2022)

Adequate but for a fatal triggering fflaw

[1/10 · 2 February 2023]

John Wayne reportedly would not allow his movie characters to act unethically. Other actors have similar red lines of what they will and will not allow their characters to do. This movie sullies the reputations of all who worked on and acted in it.

Daniel Craig is of course flawless in his role, such as it is, and the script is a largely forgettable whodunnit. I can easily offer criticism of the believeability of the antagonist's rise to riches, especially in light of Craig's character's assessment of his mental deficiencies. I can also easily offer criticism of the believeability of the magical substance much talked about -- TANSTAAFL applies in physics as well as real life.

But what makes me give this minimum rating is an event in the film.that put the characters on the same level as the Taliban's wanton destruction of the.6th century Buddha statues.

All the characters in the movie without exception treated this monstrous crime as a giggle done for laughs. The Taliban's crimes of past and present are committed because they're sub-human beasts. The crime committed in the movie, however, has no such easy explanation. That it even suggests committing the crime in real-life is a giggle shows that the writer and actors have no worthwhile values.

Black Road (2016)

Interesting premise, but slow and confusing

[5/10 · 5 September 2016]

The acting seemed adequate, the location was well-suited to the film's setting, and I didn't think that the movie suffered too much by its budget. However, it seemed to me that the premise of the movie -- a near-future where the brain could directly link with the computer -- was clamped onto a pedestrian mystery plot. What the movie needed above all else was a decent, polished script. Without it, we are left with a movie that tends to plod and doesn't make much sense. What the makers should have done is raise another million dollars and given it to a master scriptwriter for a rewrite. There were the seeds of something much better here.

Wild Card (2015)

Fun ... just don't engage thinking cap

[6/10 · 1 February 2015]

If you were to split Wild Card into parts of ten minutes each, every part would be enjoyable. It's when you stitch the parts together, however, that it becomes evident that the movie doesn't completely hang together. It seems to me that some important bits were left in the editing room, and that the story was rushed along, instead of being given room to breathe. To my mind, there were enough ideas for three or four decent noir-ish Stratham movies: the woman wronged; the gambling addiction; the "kid"; and the hotelier.

Also, I want to put in a good word for Stanley Tucci. He has a small role but he filled it completely, and he was another reason that I was regretting the movie was not expanded into more parts, following the tradition of "The Hobbit".

Overall, if you're a Stratham fan, this is not his best work, but it is still well worth a watch.

Dear White People (2014)

Technically excellent production of a lightly disguised hate-fest

[3/10 · 25 January 2015]

The acting was well done, as was the location, the lighting, the camera work, etc. etc. Even the dialogue worked very well. The subject matter, however, and its treatment made the movie a well-done waste of time.

What matters in today's economy is getting and keeping decent jobs. What the movie shows, however, is overly-privileged students who are more concerned with manufacturing racial hatred than with studying courses and gaining skills that employers want. It is as if Simien, the writer and director, has no experience with life outside his liberal-elite world. Black American culture is one of many shared experiences in America, and there is nothing particularly special or praise-worthy about it, but Simien seems unable to put his racial blinders aside. For goodness sake, we have Jews, Asians (many kinds!), whites, Latinos, Eastern Europeans, etc. -- we're all in it together. This white/black divide was already old a generation ago. If Simien wants to be relevant as a film-maker who appeals beyond his inbred elitist audience, he needs to open the curtains and let in some light.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

Not believable

[5/10 · 26 December 2014]

When you have unlimited cash (or so it seems) to make a movie, is it too much to demand that some of it be spent in getting things "right" so that the viewer isn't jarred out of the immersive experience by things that don't make sense, or things that assume you're stupid? Apparently, for this final Hobbit movie, the answer is yes. In addition to that, there were a number of scenes where rapid cuts left the 3d viewer bewildered.

Of the "unblievable" elements, three stood out: first, there was a CGI of a beast being ridden, but there was no natural "flow" to the creature, and instead the movement looked like a claymation rendering. Second, there were several instances where masses of soldiers performed actions in unison. The result was extremely robotic and totally unlike a real military formation. Further, the soldiers were deployed with no apparent chain of command -- no platoon leaders, sergeants, captains, etc. -- no logistical support (how do they eat?), and no archer units (who would have totally destroyed the bad guys). Jackson would have done well to have reviewed actual historical armies, such as those of Ancient Rome. Finally, the love interest plot line simply didn't work for me and seemed contrived. The final remark at the end of this plot line -- "because it was real" -- could have been a moving testimonial to the wretchedness behind the elfin outer elegance, but instead fell flat.

I was also disappointed that there was so little personal connection between the characters. For me, there was a sense that the actors were speaking their lines in front of a blue screen, without other actors actually being there.

In short, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies was, to reference Shakespeare, full of sound and fury, but at the end of it all, leaving the viewer bloated and unsatisfied.

The Interview (II) (2014)

Stupid, but stupid funny, not stupid stupid

[7/10 · 26 December 2014]

If you like broad humour, you'll like this. The day before, I watched the final Hobbit movie, and for me The Interview was vastly more entertaining, despite the huge budget disparity. Sure, the premise is silly, and what happens is silly, but it requires the same kind of suspension of disbelief that accompanies watching a zombie or science fiction flick -- or pretty much any action movie. The humour is broad, physical, often sexual, and very politically incorrect. However, although the situations are unlikely, once you accept that such characters can exist, the decisions that they took seemed entirely consistent with the character. Finally, I have to say that I liked the two protagonists, and, indeed, all the major acting roles were well-done.

Rapture-Palooza (2013)

Dreadful AND Droll -- or is it the other way around?

[7/10 · 22 August 2013]

The wide range of ratings is a good clue that the movie's humour has a somewhat selective appeal.

To my mind, Craig Robinson pulls the movie from being categorized as a "nice try that misses the mark of genius" to one that still misses the mark, but is so delightfully, breathtakingly filthy -- thanks to Robinson -- that it is entirely possible to watch (aghast!) the movie without much minding that it falls far short of its potential. Let's be clear: this is no "Shaun of the Dead", and its blasphemous storyline does not have a rich enough comedic payload to transcend its sophomoric treatment of the Apocalypse. In short, without Robinson "Rapture-Palooza" would quickly sink, largely unnoticed, into that vast graveyard of forgettable movies.

This is not to say that the actors, with the possible exception of Kendrick, are in any way at fault in the failure of the movie to reach its potential. Rob Corddry, Ken Jeong, and Thomas Lennon, among others, do creditable, enjoyable performances. Kendrick plays a little flat, however. To some degree, this is called for as foil to Robinson, but it seems to me that in the hands of a Madeline Kahn the result could have achieved High Art.

Lost and Found in Armenia (2012)

Under-appreciated clash of cultures with a touch of romance

[7/10 · 27 July 2013]

This movie occurs for the most part in Armenia and in Armenian, so subtitles are a given. I have no idea how realistic Armenian village life is portrayed, or how serious the threats that exist in border areas, but it is at least as plausible as the nonsense that the big budget Hollywood movies routinely dish up.

All that aside, the movie engaged me from the very beginning, with characters who were not only driving the movie forward, but who had clear motivations for their actions. Although the plot line was simple enough, it was the characters that made the movie more than watchable. I will also add a special mention for the music, which was neither too little nor too much, and reinforced the point that in the movie, America is a distant land. It is not a criticism of the movie, but at its conclusion I was left with a feeling that there ought to be a novel on which the movie was based (or vice versa) which would go into more detail on the political and culture issues that were only hinted at.

Overall, nicely done, and, of course, Angela Sarafyan as Ani is perfectly lovely.

The Sweeney (2012)

Implausible

[6/10 · 6 January 2013]

The dialogue was fine and the acting was fine, but I don't believe that an elite police squad, even London police, can be so incompetent.

Is it realistic that a group of police trained in the use of firearms should not actually be any good in shooting those firearms? The action scenes remind me of the old TV show, "The A-Team", where guns are blazing but no one seems to get hurt. Or, rather, it would, except that the bad guys have apparently been paying attention at the firing range. Surely in a real police organization, people who couldn't shoot straight, whose tactics were amateurish, who had no regard for public safety, and who had difficulty with the idea of calling for backup, should not be allowed out on the streets. More than that, I find it incomprehensible that a training program would be allowed to exist that produced such people as the end result.

As fine as the actors are, this movie does no credit to the UK police service.

Never Let Me Go (2010)

What were they thinking?

[3/10 · 14 May 2012]

When big-name actors participate in trash like this film for the sake of "art", it's a sure sign that have too much money.

Not only did the movie plod along at an excruciating pace, but there was nothing human about the motivations of the organ donors. If this was an alternate reality, then it was a reality in which non-human creatures took human form. The nation that produced the magna carta, the abolition of the slave trade, and equal suffrage would somehow quietly assent to this gross violation of human rights? I don't think so.

This dog of a movie would have been better had it made use of political protests and roving armies of freedom fighters taking out the monster overlords. As it is, however, it's just masturbatory crap. Shakespeare would have been ashamed.