nb_23 Reviews

The Time Machine (2002)

Really awful

[1/10 · 3 September 2005]

My biggest problem with rating this movie is that I'm forced to give it a star - if I were able to tell the ratings truth it would be no star whatever. If only minus stars were possible! The original movie of the Time Machine is genuinely scary and completely coherent. The acting is wonderful and the special effects are amazing. This new version is a watered-down, glossed-up travesty. It is truly one of the worst films I have ever, ever seen. The story is ridiculous, the premise incredible, the storyline lacks any credibility, the acting is cringeworthy, the stupid, stupid machine is just daft - why the blinding lights???? Don't waste your time - it is dreadful.

House of Flying Daggers (2004)

Yawn!!!

[1/10 · 30 January 2005]

I LOVED Hero - it was spectacularly beautiful with a great cast and fabulous special effects which added to and underpinned the magical reality of the story. The plot was literally fantastic but it was coherent and (magically!) logical.

This was not heroic in any sense at all. It was way too long, way too dull and way too self-important. The ending was worthy of the John Wayne Award for interminable death scenes. The one and only good thing about the long and interminable fight at the end was the crucial 'Glasgo Kiss' move - stuff the stupid balletic martial arts business, let's get down and dirty in the real world! Sorry, but it was overblown rubbish. Get Hero out again, forget this tosh.

16 Years of Alcohol (2003)

Beautiful, horrible and true

[8/10 · 5 August 2004]

Of course Edinburgh was one of the stars of the movie so it was even more horrible to see the violence with my beautiful city as a backdrop. But that's partly why this movie made such an impact on me - yes, yes, it was a bit over the top and it was probably a mistake to allow Richard Jobson to be writer and director (just as it's usually a mistake to allow someone to star in the movie they directed - except for Clint Eastwood who is astonishingly good at using all of himself in his movies).

However, and it's a big big however, this was real. These people were real. Their lives and tragedies were real. The film was overwritten but overall lyrical and full of pathos. The images were wonderful (go on, admit it, you loved the sunset over Edinburgh's Folly!).

Ignore the detractors - go and see this movie to experience one side of Edinburgh life that you'll never see when you come for the Festival.

Peter Pan (2003)

Very odd, unsatisfying mix of genres

[6 January 2004]

SPOILERS WITHIN

Yes, it was interesting to go back to Barrie basics and explore the darker aspects of the story. Yes, it was fun to see what can be done with modern special effects.

BUT........

Just what age group was this movie aimed at? There were the great flying scenes, suitable for all to enjoy. Unfortunately Hogan couldn't seem to make up his mind if he was making an action movie or a character-driven romcom, with the result that it was unsatisfying on both counts. There were aspects that were so clumsy they had to be there for the kids, eg the childlike pirates. But their very childishness made the casual and horrible way Hook killed them at random very distressing. Worst of all, the distracting and disturbing aspects of prepubescent sexuality were more fitted to a flick for the sordid dirty raincoat brigade.

None of the children was convincing, not their fault given the impossible acting tasks they were asked to carry out.

I hated this movie, it's rubbish. Don't go.

Holes (2003)

Fantastic!

[10/10 · 16 November 2003]

Fantastic in every meaning of the word. I loved the book and was therefore a bit nervous of seeing the movie but I needn't have worried, it's just as wonderful in the same quirky way. It's way too complex and interesting for kids and way underrated. Go to see it - and go quickly because it's not going to be around for long. For some reason people aren't flocking to see it.... GO!

Calendar Girls (2003)

There are loads of memorable quotes!

[9/10 · 23 September 2003]

OK, this is not high art - and there are no bombs or swordfights. There's no famous young American star and there's no spectacular car chase... but there is a great story, told by fabulously talented actors and mindblowingly beautiful cinematography. There's poignancy, wisdom and laugh-out-loud humour. If you're open to a great story and a celebration of maturity - go and enjoy this movie.

Invisible Child (1999 TV Movie)

Rubbish

[2 May 2003]

Yup, it's as bad as bad can be. I agree that sometimes you need to suspend disbelief and just enjoy - I love disaster movies, for example, and hardly ever quibble about the ludicrous plots and nonsense science. But this is not bad enough to be fun. It's rubbish.

The Elevator (1974 TV Movie)

More interesting than you'd think

[1 May 2003]

I agree the movie is of its time - I love the fashions and the snobbery - it's not just Britain that has a class system! But I don't agree there's no suspense. The point of the movie is the claustrophobic atmosphere, it's actually a bit more subtle than you'd think from the blurb.

Song of the South (1946)

Get real - it's of its time!

[22 April 2003]

My Dad took my brother and me to see this movie many, many years ago. It's on British TV as I type. Of course I can understand the offensiveness of the 'Uncle Tom' stereotyping in this movie; and I hate it. People who write here about the slaves singing to pass the time are missing the point of the offensiveness, IMO - it's the slavery itself and the happy acceptance of it that I feel offended by. However, it's a wonderful animation and it's of its time. We can't wipe out the horrors of slavery by banning the movies that don't portray it as it truly was. Personally, I'm far more offended and disgusted by the obscenity of movies like 'Pretty Woman' which show prostitution as a happy hobby.

The Borrowers (1997)

Remember it's for kids!

[21 April 2003]

I get really irritated by reviewers intellectualising kids' movies. Not for one second do I think children should be patronised by being offered crap (such as TV rubbish designed to suck out their brains, eg the Cow and Chicken cartoons). However, I do think we adults should be a little more understanding that films made for children not only don't need to be deep and meaningful - but they must not be deep and meaningful. By definition! This movie is silly, and fun, and clever, and it has several important messages about tolerance. How much more deep and meaningful do you need a movie to be?!

Intacto (2001)

Stunning visuals, perfect ending. Go!!

[14 April 2003]

I like to read some of the comments before I go to see a film so I can have a couple of contrasting ideas to compare my thoughts with. Very confusingly, I find myself agreeing with almost every comment here - both positive and negative... The visuals are wonderful, Max von Sydow does act everyone else off the screen, the premise is morally reprehensible, etc, etc. BUT - the ending is so perfect I loved the whole film because of that. It didn't make me believe in luck though!