chumpsteak Reviews

Escape Plan (2013)

Good old fashioned action.

[8/10 · 5 November 2013]

Didn't know much about Escape Plan & went to see it purely because it's Arnie & Sly. This movie really delivered the goods for me. I expected a tongue in cheek OTT Expendables sort of film but its more of an old school action drama thriller really. The story's actually something new & the idea of Stallone being a professional prison break tester is really refreshing. Characters are nicely thought out & all performances are good with Vinnie Jones, Faran Tahir, Amy Ryan, Vincent D'Onofrio, Sam Neil & even 50 Cent playing their bit parts well. The bad guys are really nasty & the good guys are righteous but there are enough little twists to keep things interesting. I especially liked the way the film mostly avoids CGI in favour of fisticuffs & proper gunfights. Plus most of the stunts are performed by the actors themselves. Most modern action movies are just a series of set pieces strung together by a flimsy plot but Escape Plan is driven by the story & as such it gradually builds to the satisfying finale. Of course there are little plot holes & unrealistic moments but that's all par for the course with this sort of movie, so be prepared to suspend your disbelief from time to time.

The Life & Times of Tim (2008–2012)

"I'm not the back door guy."

[10/10 · 29 April 2012]

3 series & still nobody has ever heard of The Life & Times of Tim. It's not even released on DVD in the UK. If you want it you'll have to get it on import.

The humour is similar to Curb Your Enthusiasm with Tim getting into difficult situations (not always his fault) and then making them worse as each episode progresses. It's dry & understated, even when the situations become crazy. The characters are all brilliant, even minor ones such as Helen, Debbie or Stu's Dad. Tim's friends Rodney & Stu are idiots who invariably land him in trouble while keeping out of it themselves.

If you like adult cartoons, check it out.

The Nutty Professor (1963)

Excellent but showing its age.

[8/10 · 14 January 2012]

I was in bed with Flu on a Saturday afternoon, flicking through TV channels when I stumbled on this gem of a movie. To be honest, I didn't know this film existed & didn't realise the Eddie Murphy version was a re-make. Well Jerry Lewis is a thousand times better than Murphy & plays the 2 characters in this comic Jekyll & Hyde twist with amazing skill. Buddy love is played with a certain pathos & glimpses of Kelp's character are often present. The portrayal of Prof Kelp is beautiful & how a 6 foot tall actor can play a little man so convincingly is beyond me. The supporting cast certainly play second fiddle to Lewis but Stella Stevens & Del Moore do a great job.

Simpsons fans will immediately notice that Prof Frink is very heavily based on Prof Julius Kelp (essentially a carbon copy & Jerry Lewis even played Prof Frink's Father in a Simpsons episode). The Nutty Professor could almost be a cartoon with the OTT characters and sound effects but it's the script & Lewis' performance that make it shine. The only real downer is that its very dated now & probably won't appeal to the young audience that it was originally intended for. It is a little slow in places & just how old are Kelp's students? Stella Purdy looks young enough but the rest of the class look like they're 40 plus.

In conclusion, it's an excellent family film with a strong moral story & is far better than the crude 1996 re-make or the horrid sequel - The Klumps (there are rumours of a 3rd one. Please spare us!). So The Nutty Professor 1963 is well worth a watch if you've never seen it before & if you have seen it, maybe it's time for a reminder of Jerry Lewis' talent.

Mrs. Brown's Boys (2011– )

Funny!

[8/10 · 8 March 2011]

I really expected to hate Mrs Brown's Boys. The format is very old fashioned, performances are OTT, the set & costumes look quite cheap. However, It's very funny & packed with quickfire gags, only a few of which fall flat. If you don't find one joke funny though, it doesn't matter because there are another 10 waiting round the corner & I don't care if some of them are old - they're still good. I actually find the old studio audience format refreshing & the addition of bad language & dirty jokes actually works pretty well. Plus, it's great to see the cast dropping out of character from time to time to have a giggle at the gags. They look like they're actually having fun! The pace of it is incredible & it really takes some talent to pull a sitcom like this off so well. it's not cool or edgy but so what? It's funny! So many recent comedies are not.

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008 Video)

Starts badly - gets better - ends badly.

[3/10 · 8 February 2011]

From the very start this film looks really cheap. Wobbly sets, plastic guns & bad CGI. Check out the gun turrets in the 1st big action scene - I think they actually used cardboard tubes! Also, the acting is predictably wooden & there are a lot of 'filler' scenes where people stand around doing very little & exchanging bad dialogue.

For an action movie, it's quite slow paced & the 'Marauders' only show up briefly at the end. Shame, because they're just about the best use of CGI in the whole film. However, ST3 does have it's moments. The Sky Marshal is a good character even though it's obvious that he works for the Bugs from the second he walks on screen. Plus, thingy from Star Trek Enterprise does a decent job as our Heroine leading a group of imbeciles through the desert. It was great to have the Brain Bug back & there's some lovely gore & head popping too. Also, the needless nudity we've come to expect from Starship Troopers is present as usual.

What really messed it up for me was the religious angle that crept in halfway through. it's pointless & somewhat offensive. The Marauders get portrayed as Angels & start basting Bugs with their Cross shaped guns while our heroines pray for salvation. Gimme a break. Finally, the special effects of the planet exploding are just about the worst I've ever seen.

Species (1995)

Fun Scifi Horror.

[8/10 · 1 October 2010]

I'm amazed that Species has such a low rating on IMDb! I saw this film last night for the first time in about 5 years & I still think it's great despite various flaws. The story & basic plot are pretty predictable as with any "Bunch of people hunt monster" type movie. Plus, it gets a little corny at times. However, the cast is great & in general, so are their performances. The Alien is HOT in human form & looks very cool in Alien form. Action sequences are good and there's some decent spine popping, skull cracking gore too. Also, I was impressed at how good the CGI is for a film from 1995. It stands the test of time much better than Blade which was made 3 years later & now looks very dated.

A very enjoyable film for a late night watch.

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Missed opportunity

[3/10 · 20 September 2010]

The first AvP film was pretty decent so I was expecting more of the same from this one. Sadly it fails to deliver.

The characters are all totally one dimensional, the plot is limited to 'Aliens & a Predator have a fight in a Town & some people die'. this wouldn't really matter if it was well acted & we got a few shocks & scares, but we don't. There is no build up of tension & no reason to care about anyone or anything in the whole film. Special effects were quite good but not spectacular & I thought the Predalien looked a bit rubbish to be honest.

Avoid.

Nikos the Impaler (2003)

Fun!

[8/10 · 2 September 2010]

How to rate a movie like this?....

It's so bad that it's actually brilliant. The worst acting, lighting, foley & CGI I've ever seen & it's way too long. Plus, the story makes no sense really, especially when Hitler & Ninjas show up towards the end. However, the fun factor is there & I totally enjoyed it despite the worst actors in the movie being given the lead roles. When your leading man is too tall to fit in the frame with the other actors & also has immense difficulty opening doors should you re-cast him? No. Just roll with it & have fun.

One more thing... How does the student fail to notice that his arm has been ripped off until someone else spots it?

Black Books (2000–2004)

Joy through Misery

[10/10 · 8 December 2009]

I've just finished watching through all 3 series (again) and I just cannot get this superb sitcom out of my head. Dylan Moran, Tamsin Grieg & Bill Bailey are all brilliant as the main characters & there are some great cameos from people such as Nick Frost, Johnny Vegas, Rob Brydon, Annette Crosbie, Omid Djalili, Ricky Grover, Keith Allen and Simon Pegg (Don't eat Muffins when I'm developing you!).

Bernard, Manny and Fran are deeply unbalanced people who rely on each other to get by in the world. They almost sort themselves out with the help of Freud & a shrink at one point but things inevitably revert to madness before long.

Series 1 and 2 are the best. There isn't a bad episode to be found. In series 3 there are a couple of weaker episodes but the Moo-pa Moo-ma and Goliath books ones are great.

If you like misanthropy, social awkwardness, dirty little Bookshops and towers of soup, then the surreal Black Books is ideal. It has a great combination of the surreal, slapstick, clever writing and excellent performances throughout. I love it & want to work in Bernard's shop.

"Everybody get out! The Shop's closed."

Rollerball (1975)

Excellent but imperfect.

[8/10 · 27 April 2009]

I first saw this film in my teens and like many people I loved the action scenes but was bored with the rest of the film. After re-watching it recently I now understand the fundamental theme of the film & actually found the non-action parts more interesting than the games.

There are plenty of reviews here describing what the movie is about, so I won't go into that. What I found most interesting was the portrayal of a society much like the one in Brave New World. Carefree yuppies, subdued by pills and reduced to amoral children as a result. Relationships between men & women are forcibly casual & the Corporation routinely replaces Jonathan's female partner. His longing to see his original wife is repeated throughout. The game fits into this sterile society by providing a gory spectacle where individuals are totally disposable. Only the team matters and it is therefore a great analogy for the corporate utopia depicted.

Rollerball looks very dated now but I'm sure modern films that depict the near future will also appear dated in 30+ years. My only other gripe is that Jonathan E should have been written with more personality. Some of his teammates appear to be far more interesting characters & considering that the film is about individuality, Jonathan should have been more charismatic.

Watchmen (2009)

Intelligent & captivating.

[9/10 · 18 March 2009]

All the people who gave Watchmen a 1 or 2 star rating appear to have expected the film to be like X Men or Fantastic 4. Its a totally different sort of film, so don't expect a lightweight superhero romp from Watchmen. If you like to switch off your brain when watching a film then you probably will find it boring.

It's just excellent & I don't think a better film adaptation could have been made. I was a little sad to see that they cut the Black Freighter sub story but there is an animated film being released on DVD / Bluray very soon. Fans of the Graphic Novel will notice the changes made but I think the changes were essential to keep the movie under 3 hours (although I'd have happily sat there for another hour). The finale is altered but its actually more logical than the original ending & does not wimp out on the basic premise. Other little changes are made to avoid having to add lengthy scenes that would slow things down. The look and most of the atmosphere is faithfully reproduced. Sometimes the Movie gets a little glossy but that's virtually unavoidable during the big FX set pieces. In general the seedy, grimy locations (such as Moloch's apartment & the streets of New York) are very well executed. The prison scenes look amazing too.

The casting is spot on & I can't imagine any actors doing a better job than Wilson as Niteowl, Haley as Rorschach & Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian. In fact the portrayal of Dan Dreiberg / Niteowl was exactly as I imagined him. Even minor characters like Moloch the Mystic & the Minutemen are well thought out. The relationship between Niteowl, Silk Spectre & Manhattan is well portrayed & I always felt that I was watching real people on screen rather than cardboard cut out super-heroes.

The use of violence & gore is very graphic. Snyder unflinchingly shows us bone & viscera in detail. A little too much for some people but I like a bit of splatter in movies & some films avoid it just to secure a 15 rating. Many modern films try to do too much with special effects & just baffle the viewer with too much on screen (Transformers for example). Watchmen is a little more restrained & balanced the spectacular with more subdued effects when needed.

Its basically excellent & one more thing worth a mention is the use of familiar pop & rock music which grounds the movie in reality. Go & see it.

KM 31: Kilómetro 31 (2006)

Good, Spooky Horror.

[7/10 · 24 February 2009]

I'd never heard of this film before I saw it and had no preconceptions or expectations. Actually, I was considering going to bed but KM 31 quickly grabbed my attention & I just had to watch it to the conclusion.

I actually thought the story was reasonably original for a Ghost Horror movie, so I don't know why people are saying otherwise. I've certainly never seen a movie where the mentally ill mother of twin sisters drowns / OD's, the sisters develop a telepathic connection, one gets run over after seeing a ghost in the road & ends up in a coma, trapped between the world of the living & the dead then the other discovers an old tragedy of a mother & son drowning etc... It was all pretty engaging actually. Admittedly, the style is very similar to that of recent Japanese horror films but that's not a bad thing.

I thought the acting was very solid with the exception of the old woman who was quite corny. In fact, Nuno & Omar were very well played. It would be easy for the actors to over act in this sort of film but everything was quite subdued which gave real tension.

The Special effects are excellent & a real feature. I actually found myself thinking "Whoa! That was impressive." on a few occasions & that's a very rare thing these days. There are far too many recent films that rely on shaky camera work & bad lighting in an attempt to create the mood & hide iffy effects or ones that have so much CGI they look like a PS3 game. KM 31 gives you gruesome ghosts in gory detail & lets you get a good look at just how nasty they are. Makeup & CGI blend seamlessly & everything looks real. However, tension is retained because we don't get to see them properly until the film is getting near it's conclusion.

Dialogue is fairly minimal & there's not a massive amount of character development but I don't think this is too much of a problem. My only real issue was the pace of the movie. Sometimes it drags a bit & there are scenes that could have been cut quite easily. On the other hand, there are parts where the plot moves by too quickly & scenes that ought to have taken 15 minutes are condensed into 5. This makes things confusing at times, especially at the end where there is no explanation why things turn out the way they do. I never quite understood the connection between our protagonists & the ghosts either.

KM 31 is well worth checking out & has a really good balance of tension & surprise. I give it a good solid 7.

Ravenous (1999)

A really different film

[8/10 · 5 February 2009]

I'd describe this as a grinder. It starts off slowly (maybe a little too slowly) & gradually grinds it's grizzly way to the end. There's a relentless dark feel & all the sets & locations are grimy & cold, giving a lonely, uneasy atmosphere.

In many ways this film resembles John Carpenter's 'The Thing'. It's hard to guess who is good / bad for much of the film & the sense of isolation is very similar.

Jeff Jones, Robert Carlyle & Guy Pearce give awesome performances in this very underrated movie.

One to watch when it is cold & dark outside.

Pie in the Sky (1994–1997)

Currently being shown again on ITV3

[8/10 · 5 February 2009]

As a teenager I didn't appreciate Pie In The Sky when it first aired in the mid 90's. However, it's being re-run in an early evening slot on ITV3 at the moment & it's well worth watching again. As mentioned in other comments, the plots often follow a similar path in each episode & Henry almost invariably solves the crime or saves the day single handedly. This is only a very minor flaw though. The scripts & dialogue are great & the excellent cast really bring it all to life. Richard Griffiths is a brilliant character actor & Henry Crabbe is played with an understated charm that most actors would not be able to carry off. This charm & subtlety is carried throughout the whole series & I haven't seen a single bad episode yet. It's also worth mentioning the sheer number of characters in the series. Many of the restaurant staff & Police officers appear regularly from episode to episode but the writers have put real effort into giving them all distinct personalities. I never get the feeling that they are just cardboard cut-outs put there just to advance the plot. Pie In The Sky is very enjoyable light viewing with more than enough substance to keep me interested for the whole 40 episodes.

The Big Lebowski (1998)

Get it?

[10/10 · 8 October 2008]

You either get it or you don't with this movie.

You won't get it if you're fussy about movies fitting into specific genres. It' touches on Film Noir / Comedy / Buddy movie but is actually none of these. You won't get it if you focus on the plot too much. It's not about the plot, it's about the characters & the plot exists mainly to set up all kinds of different situations for them to handle (or mishandle most of the time). You won't get it if swearing annoys you. I hardly noticed the amount of bad language but it seems to annoy some people a lot. Most of all, if you don't empathise with the Dude, you won't get it.

This is a very subtle movie that features many un-subtle characters who border on caricature much of the time. I think a lot of people expect an outright comedy & are disappointed by the lack of obvious jokes. It's a movie best approached with no expectation & it gets better every time I see it. I'm not going to rave on about it even though it's one of my all time favourite films. It's best to just watch it for yourself.

Friends (1994–2004)

Remove the Blinkers.

[2/10 · 1 August 2008]

We were force fed 238 episodes. Like Foie Gras Ducks, people scurried up to their TV sets for years to get tube-fed this insipid mush. I appealed to their better nature but was shouted down & will probably get many 'unhelpful comment' clicks here on IMDb.

Please try to clear your minds of all the hype & the awards this won & watch an episode from a fresh point of view. It's not funny apart from 1 maybe 2 laughs per episode, provided by Matt Perry. It has dated very badly too. All this mid 90s PC nannying makes me sick. Anyone who happens to drink alcohol is portrayed as an alcoholic. Anyone who smokes has to quit etc. "I'll be there for you", let's all be supportive, let's talk over our insignificant, Middle Class issues in a Coffee Shop. NO! Go down the pub & have a laugh. If I want a comforting, self-help video I'll go & buy one.

Wake up everybody. 'Friends' isn't funny, never was. It's like a cheap, fatty Burger. It seems good but deep down you know it's got no substance & is actually killing you from the inside.

Joey (2004–2006)

Flogging the rotting corpse of a dead horse.

[1/10 · 1 August 2008]

By the time 'Friends' finally died, every character has been drained of every drop of potential. I always hated 'Friends' anyway but at least I could see why other people liked it & Chandler was sort of funny sometimes.

Fast forward a few years & some unimaginative TV exec decides to dig up the rotting corpse of the dead 'Friends' horse & give it another good whipping. Oh, & remove 5 of the characters too. Without his friends, Joey is totally lost. A 1 dimensional character is just about passable when surrounded by 5 other 1 dimensional characters to give variation. Unfortunately, no effort has been made to fill out the role & the whole sitcom relies on familiarity with Joey. Yes, I'm familiar with him & I hate him.

The only positive thing I can say is that it's better Than 'Hope & Faith'. ANYTHING is better than 'Hope & Faith'.... Tuberculosis for example. So 'Joey' is about on a par with Tuberculosis. Or maybe Cholera.

Hope & Faith (2003–2006)

No No NO!

[1/10 · 1 August 2008]

I feel slightly irked that I have to give it 1 star because it deserves 0.

Over 50 episodes of entirely unfunny junk. Some say that it improves after the 1st series, so I gave it a chance. It doesn't improve. It gets worse. It's hard to expect much from a series called 'Hope & Faith' where the lead characters are called... you guessed it, Hope and Faith. Ha Ha Ha ughhhh!!! That gag has been a tired cliché for at least 50 years but it's actually the funniest gag the writers have managed to write / copy. Oh yes. Don't expect any originality whatsoever here. Don't expect any spark or verve from the dead eyed, creosote-faced, bleached teethed, dyed haired (To hide the grey I presume) actors either. Manic energy cannot hide you're lack of talent ladies. Actually, most of the cast wander around with a dazed look on their varnished faces. I can read their minds... I'm picking something up now.... they're thinking "Why has this show been re-commissioned? I can't believe I'm getting paid for this putrid garbage. My career has hit rock bottom. I'll just keep grinning & hope the audience doesn't notice."

Don't watch it under any circumstance. Those 'Live Surgery' TV shows are funnier than this. Slicing the tip of my finger off was funnier than this. Even 'Joey' is a funnier show & I NEVER thought I'd say that.

Lab Rats (2008– )

Give It a chance.

[8/10 · 1 August 2008]

I saw Lab Rats for the 1st time last night & was actually quite impressed. I'm surprised it gets such a low rating here.

I thought it was well written & whenever it seemed that an obvious gag was was coming, it actually flipped round & didn't do what I expected. The acting performances by the cast aren't all brilliant but they're certainly better than sitcoms like 'My Family' or the appalling 'After You've Gone' (which bizarrely gets some good reviews on IMDb). I quickly warmed to the characters, who are all a bit quirky in different ways & compliment each other well. I especially liked deadpan Cara & daft Brian. There were plenty of moments when I laughed out loud & Lab Rats actually has something different about it that sets it above the majority of sitcom mulch. It takes elements of shows like 'The Young Ones' & 'Father Ted' without being too derivative. Admittedly, it doesn't reach the same highs as either of those shows but it could develop into something really good in it's own right. I'd rather watch this than ad nauseam re-runs of 'The Good Life' & 'Home To Roost' (it was dull in the 80s. It's dull & dated now).

Basically, I think everyone should give this series a chance. It's a fresh new comedy with good ideas & sometimes it takes time to get used a show in the 1st series when it's still finding it's feet. It took a lot of people a while to get in to 'The Mighty Boosh', 'The League Of Gentlemen' & even 'The Office' when they first started.

The IT Crowd (2006–2013)

Series 2

[9/10 · 26 March 2008]

I'm writing this, assuming that people already know about the 1st series.

Series 1 of The IT Crowd was good & showed lots of potential too. In series 2, it really comes alive. With the characters firmly established, Graham Linehan pushes them into wonderfully absurd situations & realises the full potential of the series.

Episode 1 of the second series is probably the funniest thing I have ever seen. The office trip to the Theatre to see 'Gay' a gay musical is pure genius from start to finish. It delivers huge laughs throughout & I had to watch it twice because I missed so many bits of the episode through uncontrollable laughter. Many of the laughs in The IT Crowd arise from awkward social situations which are beautifully played out by the cast. The writing seems to be far more tuned into this aspect compared to the first series & everything gels together with apparent ease. The move away from obvious IT based gags will also broaden the audience but the show's unique identity is retained. A few jokes fall a bit flat, but every episode is packed with absolute corkers that easily cancel out the weaker parts. Other particularly good episodes are the 'Peter File' one & the one with the German Cellist.

I'm constantly amazed by Graham Linehan's ability inject so much vitality & originality into the mundane sit-com format. However, a lot of credit has to go to the cast. They all play their roles perfectly & the characters compliment each other rather than competing for laughs. The dynamic is much like that of Red Dwarf, where every character is an essential part of the whole. Also, Matt Berry slips into Chris Morris' shoes with surprising ease as the new Boss & is delightfully mad.

Little Miss Jocelyn (2006–2008)

Mostly excellent.

[8/10 · 20 February 2008]

I really don't understand why so many people dislike this show. It certainly holds its own against all the other character based sketch shows that have appeared over the last few years.

I didn't like her previous show 3 Non Blondes & had low expectations. Admittedly, there are a few sketches that fail to hit the mark (especially in the first series), but the majority make me laugh out loud. With such a large variety of characters & ideas there will always be some that you won't like. However, the richness of 'Little Miss Jocelyn' stems from this variety. Characters such as the Nigerian Driving Instructor, the Toilet Attendant, the Disgusting Shop worker, Gladys Kingston the foul mouthed man hater, the Dietician / Witchdoctor, Tantrum Woman and the Traffic Warden are used in the context of sketches but also in the real world in a hidden camera show style. This works beautifully & shows just how versatile & inventive Jocelyn Jee Esien is. Her skill at portraying so many very different comic characters (Old women, teenagers, men etc) in a convincing manner is impressive & so is the attention to detail. The Bus Driver & Traffic Attendant are absolutely spot on in the way they behave & speak and they're worryingly close to the real people who do those jobs.

I love Gladys Kingston, the funeral chasing old ladies, the Umwopwopwopwops and the Toilet Attendant. Just give this show a chance. Don't avoid it just because a few people here hate it.