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Tarot (2024)
So bad its good, Nah just kidding
TAROT the movie 2024,
Hello peoples of he page. Yes it has been a long time hasn't it?
So, suffer in your jocks because the Lush is back and this time its personal.
Anyway peeps, today Lush popped her little black tooshy into Parramatta to see a film called Tarot, now a quick disclaimer here, Lush IS a Tarot Card reader and has been for 40+ years. I've made a living from it when short of resources and needing cash.
The internet movie date base lists Tarot as a Horror Comedy yes it has a few giggles and yes there are scary bits so I guess it meets the brief. I really to have the pants scared off me but, sadly that never happened. I did leave the cinema pants intact.
If you think the plot is familiar well der! Who amongst use has not had a teenage seance and regretted it when things go bang in the roof. If this movie a group of friends recklessly violates the sacred rule of Tarot readings - never use someone else's deck. I mean seriously. Don't touch my deck. Using one with out permission is not only rude but downright dangerous in the wrong hands. I can only hope this flm stops people asking me to read for them.
The dialogue is bad but the acting is quite good., however there are so many cliches I was doing call backs at the screen, At some point I would like to do this film as a Screamqueen production. Its so easy to fit Lush humour into the prewritten corniness and make something hilarious!
But basically you want the plot don't you? Well this is a silly film with silly cliched characters, you the "College student who rent a mansion, drink excessively, run out of booze and in a search to steal more booze, break into the room that says "Do Not Enter" find old Tarot Cards, do a few readings and ....die horribly" (as they should) in the manner of their readings. Think Evil Dead but with a slight Blair witch/Hellraiser feel. There are a few scares and the inevitable twists. Everything is so predictable you don't even need the cards! They really tried to rush through the deaths and concentrate on dialogue... that was a bad decision.
I have seen worse things come out off Screen Gem but, No I'm kidding, this is a pretty bad way to spend 8 million dollars. As a reader myself, I HATE that astrology and Tarot are considered the same thing Its a pet peeve of mine But I digress, Set in a world where every door creaks and there isn't a single well-lit location, This is s little more than a clearinghouse of horror clichés.
This is just another example of a studio tossing money at a bad idea knowing it'll still make some profit. I'd like to say don't waste your time, but despite myself I kinda like this movie.
Shirley Thompson Versus the Aliens (1972)
A strong first movie from Jim Sharman?
It was going to happen someday. After all, "Its a Rocky Thing" and today dear reader was that day. I had been searching for a copy of "Shirley Thompson vs The Aliens" since I first heard of it so many years ago and baby that was sooo many years ago. Today I am under Covid Isolation and there is nothing on TV so, I went for it. And Boy is this film bad. Lots of long establishing shots, I mean LOTS of establishing shots. My copy has a film counter imbedded so I know this is the way the edit was meant to be according to Jim but golly gee there are many minutes of no dialogue and just long shots.
"What?" I hear you say. "I have never heard of "Shirley Thompson vs The Aliens"? Well, it is a rare film. I don't even know if it ever made public release. I do know there is a copy in the Australian film archives..and one on my laptop right now.
Simply put, "Shirley Thompson vs The Aliens" is Jim Sharman's first film predating The Rocky Horror Picture Show by almost 3 years.
Not a lot is known about this film written by Jim Sharman and Helmut Bakaitis. It was Filmed mostly at Luna Park and Mark and Margarets house where ever that was.
Staring Jane Harders, most famous for her later work on Rush, a Country Practice and Heartbreak High is Shirley Thompson, a typically misunderstood 1950's teenager living in a suburban Australian home. She hates her parents played by John Llewellyn and Marie Nicholas almost as much as they hate each other. They want her married off and well, she just wants to party with her motorbike friends, dance and drink coke. There is a LOT of Coke in this movie. After all, it is 1956.! I am not even going to pick on the fact a lot of the Johnny O'Keefe music didn't come out until 3 years after this movie was set!
The film jumps back and forth as we discover Shirley is under Psychiatric care (Kate Fitzpatrick as the Psych nurse, God I love Kate Fitzpatrick... Ever since Return of Capitan Invincible) is telling her story in scenes that later turn up, I suspect, as inspiration for Shock Treatment.
The spiel on the internet movie database says A group of aliens plans to invade Australia as a means of taking over the Earth, But have watched this ow, the aliens are really trying to warn the Earth. The aliens have wiped out their planet and are trying to save ours before we do the same thing. Quite nice of them really. In order to communicate with the people of Earth, they turn to Shirley. Shirley comes back and tells all her friends about everything she learned from the aliens and they try to help.
The aliens ty to communicate via the news and on Radio, but this is just seen as a joke by the general populace. "They did that radio thing before and scared all those Old folk" in a last-ditch attempt to communicate with the World the aliens animate a wax work dummy of Duke of Edinburgh and he makes a speech at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics. No one listens and the Aliens just give up. Mankind is left to its own fate. We never see the aliens, we just hear them.
Shirley goes on, gets married and eventually goes nuts. This is where her story is now being told to the doctors on the Psych ward.
I have to admit, I was looking for Rocky Horror all the way through this. Sure, Jim and Richard O'Brien had not met yet, but the bare bones of technique were there. The padding was starting to make sense. Transylvanians on Motorcycle's probably did come from Motorbike hoons tearing around Luna Park in the dark. And I swear Shirley was a voice double for Columbia! I could almost see her being picked up by Frank and driven away to be used later in the next film. It would have made a perfect prequel. Did I mention Brian Thomson was set guy on this movie too. The scary thing is I have those exact same black velvet koala cushions with the fringing. Half that kitchen is in my house right now.
This is a bad film. The concept is good but it is a very young film from a first-time maker. The editing is sharp, the shots too long and the acting is a serving suggestion at best. Three years later he is a GOD, but here he is still learning technique. A technique that worked well for "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and in "The Night, the Prowler" a few years later. Similar film techniques learned on Shirley have been sharpened and wok perfectly now. Another story about a woman mis understood by her parents but find her own path through trauma becoming the heroine the she needs to be to survive, one the world needs but may not want. Jim Sharman knows how to portray a strong woman well. It's a Pity they all end up insane.
Dark Shadows: The Vampire Curse (2009)
Dark Shadows Vampires Curse.
A three hour movie or mini series in one hit. This was made in 2009 and is must do binge watching before binge watching was even a thing. They took 1225 episodes of the original clips from1966 to 1971 and snipped bits and pieces of the Soap Opera Dark Shadows. I guess one could say this film is the "Origin story" Cut together from the flashbacks to make a coherent storyline, it explain the Marriage, loves and death thus creation of the vampire that we know and love, Barnabas Collins... and not a Johnny Depp in sight.
The acting of the time is amazing when you realize most of these wee live to air and no retakes. She there were some fluffed lines nd booms in shot even a spare stagehand in the tomb. And that made it even greater. The film is in colour as the flashbacks are from later in the series but then it swings around into the pilot episode which is black and white. Its kinda like Wizard of OZ in reverse. The logic is sound artistically in the same way really. It was full of life and love and fun so colour but then the evil came and it became black and white and gritty. Well it works for me.
Cats (2019)
When is a Ginger not a Ginger
.Dear Diary, Today I saw the movie "Cats". It has been destroyed mercilessly by the critics. Indeed so much so that I HAD to see it even more to see how badly Hollywood had destroyed one of my all time favourite musicals with its CGI realistic fur covered actors.
Contrary to popular belief they are real actors in this film. Real singing, real dancing and real situations and emotions...only the fur is fake. Its quite PC in that way if you like. They only touched up the bodies with Computer generated costuming. OK so the missed a few bits. Yes the version I saw today still had the human hands and Dame Judy Dench does have a lovely ring but why pan that as a movie fault. They have human faces, human eyes, lips, feet so what difference does a hand make? That is just nit picking in the extreme. I have no problem with it.
From the opening bars in the darkened theatre of almost 10 people... I cried. Tears rolled down my face with the beauty of those simple notes. I LOVE Cats the musical. It's on my ipod, its one of my 10 desert Island albums. I LOVED (almost) every part of this movie. I knew every song word for word. I knew the history of each cat and their personal pains and I love how each on was brought to life by the various actors portraying them today.
I had my doubts about Political correctness. Dame Judy as Old Deuteronomy, was originally a male role. But surprisingly it translated well. She was magnificent. Just one look in her eyes as she stares a Grisibella...and I was weeping again. I was pretty much crying at the beauty of this film for two hours. Even Rebel Wilson has a new respect from me. She played Jennyenydot to perfection. Although there was an additional sub plot in the film and she was an integral part of it, her quips, one liners and costumes changes were exactly right for her expanded role and personality.
If I have one major criticism its with Macavity the Mystery Cat played magnificently by Idris Elba and its simply that although beautifully rendered with a solid muscular body and the blackest fur with deep green eyes... the lyrics say quite clearly..
Macavity's a ginger cat,
he's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him
for his eyes are sunken in
Macaviy here is simply NOT a black cat. Even in the movie they use the lyric "Ginger Cat" but show a fine but scary looking black cat. They really could have keep Idris in the role as he is perfect but CGI'ing ginger fur on the Avatar, Its not rocket science, However this is my only criticism.
I loved this movie. I have already bought a ticket to see it again. I will own it n DVD when possible. I will turn up at midnight screenings in a onsie if necessary. Drag Queens are going to love the new song Taylor Swift added to the sound track "Beautiful Ghosts" It... just... works.
The story is about learning about our cats and thus learning about ourselves. Its about magic and mischief and forgiveness. Its about beauty being more than fur deep. It makes you laugh and it makes you cry because you know what is coming and its wonderful. Ok, it has a sub plot but its more of a expansion of the characters and is entirely feasible script wise..
See it... Take a new eyeliner and tissues. But see it..That means you