WormEyedZombie Reviews

Funny Games (2007)

Nothing funny about it.

[8/10 · 4 September 2008]

Wow.

This film strongly reminded me of the cult classic TV series "Tales from the crypt".

It did it not because of the presence of any monsters or supernatural elements whatsoever, but because of one very special key appeal: In that show, bad guys could win.

Yes, "Funny games" is -as somebody already said- a story of the triumph of evil. Not an over the top cartoonish "Conquer the world" evil, but one much more simple, pure, credible and -for the same reason- terrifying: The psychopathic impulse for making people suffer... Just for the thrill of it. Just to have a good time.

Just because it's FUN.

You see, that's the real evil. The one that's pure and simple. The one without justification, cause or practical purpose. The one that just IS and that's all. The natural born evil.

In the movie, this evil is incarnated in the young figures of Paul and Peter; two very polite and apparently harmless boys who one day decide to pick a small family and make them have the living nightmare of their lives. They scare, menace, hurt and torture a shocked father, mother and son; betting that they all will be dead by next day's morning.

The acting is in one word: Superb. The whole cast is perfect (yes, even the little kid). Watts, Roth and Corbet do an amazing job, but the one that really steals the show is a fantastic Michael Pitt who absolutely shines in the twisted-maniacal-son-of-a-b*tch of a role he was born to play. I mean, that guy is scary. The moments when he speaks to the audience are priceless.

Some reviewers had said that the movie is slow and boring. I don't think so. OK, it's not precisely fast-paced; but for this kind of story and this particular atmosphere, I think the rhythm is pretty good. Besides the suspense is incredible, and you really get to feel angst for that poor family whose fate seems inevitable.

Downers? Well, I guess the plot can be way too simple for viewers who are used to twist-ending crime drama flicks like Seven or The bone collector. If you are one of those, better stay away from this one. If you are not, or even if you are but decide to keep an open mind and give this fine flick a chance, well, let's just remember what Adaptation's Charlie Kaufman used to say about real life: Real life is not about car chases, gunfights, romances or epiphanies... No. real life us just that: Life. It's not supposed to have a plot and it doesn't have to make sense.

Some people just need to wake up and deal with it.

The Bucket List (2007)

Not Oscar material, but very, very good

[8/10 · 7 May 2008]

This movie pushes all the right buttons. It's funny and it's moving. It has flaws like every other flick, but this is one of that rare cases when the final result makes you forget (or forgive) all of them.

It's incredible how two acting titans like Nicholson and Freeman can grab your attention and make you ride with them in the big trip/journey of their lives, following a story that probably wouldn't have been of mayor interest with the presence of two other leading actors. The chemistry between them is great, and you can do nothing but sit down and enjoy the show.

Sure, Nicholson isn't in the best of shapes (and I mean HIS weight and voice, not the illness of his character) and Freeman has been better in his early work, but as I said: These are mere details that shouldn't stop anyone from laughing and crying with this highly entertaining flick.

The Orphanage (2007)

Are you serious?

[2/10 · 7 May 2008]

Why is everybody giving so high ratings to this? Come on, the movie is absolutely boring! I'm not a hardcore horror movies fan, but I still enjoy watching one or two when there's something interesting to watch. Believe me, this is NOT one of those.

"The orphanage" is a long, boring, no-scares, no-suspense, and totally overrated flick that almost made me fall asleep. I could have forgive the story's lack of originality if its narrative or pace would have been good... But they weren't. However, there's no reason to panic because even if the script is bad, at least the characters and dialogue are very well done, right? WRONG. They are dull and very poorly developed. The mix didn't work at all and there were many scenes that seemed false or even ridiculous to me.

What more can I say, lately is a common practice for me to consult some IMDb users's reviews before paying any serious attention to some foreign flick I don't know much about, but the truth is... I don't know if that will keep being useful for me. I mean... Boy, I expected way, way more of this one. It really doesn't deserve all the good treatment that has received here.

The only two reasons for the stars I'm giving are the fine cinematography and the leading lady, who actually did a decent job with a bad material (well, at some moments). For all the rest... Better to forget.

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

It made me wanna vomit.

[1/10 · 16 January 2008]

The Simpsons movie was worst than anything I could have expected.

This crime against humanity -Along with Skinwalkers- is the most awful movie I've seen this year. If you love the old classic Simpsons (those whose writers actually had brains in their heads) you will definitely HATE this terrible waste of time. In the other hand, If you laughed your ass out with all the stupid, childish jokes of the series's last horrendous seasons, you surely will love it.

Man, I'm so glad I didn't have to pay for torturing myself this way...

PD: Jeez, a fu**ing spider-pig. Yeah, that's really funny (you imbeciles).

Skinwalkers (2006)

Makes Underworld's flicks look like gifts from God.

[1/10 · 7 January 2008]

Man, I hated this thing.

Last night I was in the mood for some monster-movie entertainment and for some reason I ended picking up this new modern werewolf stuff. Maybe it was the subject, maybe the cute DVD cover, maybe the hot bad girl in the box's backside or maybe the names of Elias Koteas, Rhona Mitra and Kim Coates, three guys who had done pretty decent things in the past...

Now I wish I could get back somehow that hour and a half of my life.

Yes, "Skinwalkers" sucks that much. The plot is dumb and shallow, the acting is awful, the dialogue risible, the action and kills extremely disappointing (a lot of guns, teeth and claws... But no blood and gore at all), the makeup effects very poor, the ending... Ahh, the ending. Maybe the worst one I've seen in a long time (and the really worst thing es that it pretends to leave an open door to a sequel).

I mean really, Koteas, Mitra and Coates must have really needed that paycheck. Otherwise I can't explain to myself why they would want to put their names in this pointless piece of crap.

Better pass on this one, boys and girls. Believe me, it's not worth your money and time.