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The Order (2003)
I order you back to Hell!' Well I order you to save your ten dollars
14 September 2003
The head of the Carolingian order is killed and one of the last members is called to investigate the death. The Carolingians fight demons, apparitions and perform exorcisms. Can he stop a murderer who is not human?

Apparently all that is required to banish the most powerful denizens of hell is a small wooden Crucifix and the Chant'.I order you back to Hell!' Well I order you to save your ten dollars. Ledger, Sossamon and even Addy are not the problem in this film. The borderline special effects are also not the problem in this film. The problem is this film's trailer (the preview for the film) that promises a horror thriller with a mysterious supernatural killer, involving rogue priests. The problem is the trailer writes checks that the plot can't cash. Now I know we have enough rogue priests in our regular everyday life, but these rogue priests have cool black crucifix tattooed on their legs. The entire cast which, seems to be little more than a Knight's Tale reunion all turn in great performances. The first Forty-five minutes make me think of Stigmata with a taste of The Exorcist. After that it becomes boring, predictable and criminally unimaginative. Not only is it not scary or suspenseful after that, but it wastes what was shapping up to be a fine plot. Originally scheduled to release Jan 17, 2002 it was postponed to redo the special effects, maybe the plot should have received a rework as well.

Though not big box office fare, the special effects weren't completely horrible. The sets were actually very nice and I liked St. Peters in particular. Maybe a Hollywood clone would do the justice that this movie couldn't, or even a direct to video movie about the Carolingians in which we pretend the first movie didn't even exist.
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Lost Highway (1997)
Lost Highway, Yeah I was lost alright.
10 May 2003
A friend of mine had to watch this for a class because it was the teachers favorite movie. Must have been his favorite because he was the only one who understood it. I was lost, from the begining. The story moves forward and backward with the only shining moments for me being a scene with Marilyn Manson doing a porno movie, Frank Loggia pulling a tail gater over and that coffee table death...(Gotta see it to know what I mean. Other than that, I pass. I had to read the reviews here just to figure out what the hell that was, I was supposed to be watching.
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