mmmass Reviews

Buffalo Rider (1976)

Most excellent film ever made

[10/10 · 29 September 2011]

I saw the inspiring youtube short "Guy on a Buffalo" and without a doubt this is the greatest single piece of cinema ever created. Everyone's life is richer for it having been made. I cannot wait for the inevitable sequel, and pray that it doesn't involve too much CG. The morality of Buffalo Rider is sure to be lost should the effects be updated in the fashion of the Star Wars movies. I only pray that someone somewhere has suitable trivia to eventually provide for this masterpiece of American cinema. Where did the cougar come from? What did the wolf have to do with anything? What was the nature of the relationship between Buffalo and man. Was it ahead of it's time? I daresay any man who says otherwise should be buffaloed. As they say, Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

BloodRayne (2005)

Worst movie ever? I submit that it is.

[1/10 · 9 January 2006]

This is the singularly worst movie I have ever seen. I mean honestly, who was making this thing? Total abortion - horrible dialogue, incongruent plot, horrendous acting. It looks like the entire movie was shot in 1 take. I truly have never seen it's equal.

Here is the kicker - I have worked on both video games. And while they are not any GTA, they sure put this peace of garbage to shame. Lets put it this way: you know how sometimes a movie is so bad it is funny? Well this one is so bad, SOOOOO bad, that not only is it not funny...it is actually physically painful to watch.

Stay home and read a book. ANY book. You'll be better off.

My Life Without Me (2003)

An Amazing Piece of Work

[10/10 · 18 July 2005]

This is without a doubt, the saddest, but most beautiful movie I have ever seen. It really touched me. The acting is superb, the plot heartrending and thought provoking, and the cinematography outstanding. I spent 2 hours blubbering like a schoolgirl, and it was worth every second. The simple fact that one's life can seem not to have started until the point where one's own mortality is realized is a revelation to me. This movie has opened my eyes to the importance of life and love. Money, power, fame, all are fleeting and can be lost in a moment to illness, famine, war, or fate. It is those around us, and our relationships to them, that are the things to be held most dear in our final accounting.

The Prodigy (2005)

Great little vengeance flick

[9/10 · 16 March 2005]

I really enjoyed this independent effort. I was fortunate enough to see a screening of the uncut version a few months ago, and now that it has percolated in my mind, I like it even more now. The plot, while a little slow at the beginning, rapidly picked up pace and build into a crescendo of action and emotion. I am a huge fan of revenge style movies, and the Prodigy satisfies in the vengeance aspect like few others. The fight choreography was some of the most unique I have ever seen. Finally a movie without kung foo roundhouses and crappy fake punching. Nobody expects a headbutt! This is one of the few "fight" movies where the combat actually seemed real between guys who haven't logged thousands of hours in a Japanese dojo. The gritty dark look of the film added an atmosphere of foreboding, and seemed in tune with the main character's persona.

Plus the female lead was hideous. I loved her. A few of the characters seemed superfluous, but it was an uncut version of the film. I hope to see more in the future from these talented independents.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

2 hours I will NEVER get back

[2/10 · 5 November 2003]

What a piece of self serving crap. Lets have more talking and less action please. Oh yes, the more talking the better.

Oh, but wait, it is PLOT DRIVEN this time around! NOT. This flick had so many holes (WARNING; SPOILER AHEAD - how will the machines survive now that the humans will be released? How will the humans know to be released if they are all in the matrix? Duhhhhh, I dunno), you could drive that Mack truck from the last "movie" through it.

Once again, a perfectly good movie idea has been defecated on by spurrious money hungry sequals.

Rest in Peace Matrix. RIP!

Fubar (2002)

The life of headbangers

[10/10 · 26 May 2002]

This movie is a hilarious low budget look at what makes mullet wearing headbangers tick; namely beer, violence, and rock and roll. While much of the film is devoted to mocking and/or worshipping the "banger" lifestyle, it does have a profound sub plot running throughout regarding the nature of friendship and the way people deal with personal tragedy. With classic one liners such as "Plan B is pretty much to giv'er", and a filming style that will remind you of your high school social studies project, this picture is not to be missed. Filmed mostly in Calgary, it is a must see for anyone who wants a glimpse into western Canadian counterculture.