wendylblack Reviews

The Substitute (2007)

Not a scary movie, just film, not even a movie.

[2/10 · 16 October 2009]

The scariest part of this movie happens in the first 3 minutes to a farmer's chicken. After that we are introduced to a dubbed Danish film with poor voice overs. The acting, the plot, the dialog and direction are like watching some poor Japanese Anime. I watched this as part of the "Ghost House Undergrouund" series and really felt like it was the poorest of the series. Most children will find Scooby-Doo scarier and more entertainning. All the little girls voice overs sounded like adult females trying to sound like a little girl. I honestly couldn't tell the difference between the little girls and little boys in this film without substance. I am really surprised there wasn't the cliché giant robot fight.

AVH: Alien vs. Hunter (2007 Video)

Judge For Yourself

[1/10 · 30 August 2009]

I my opinion this movie "screams" awful from the moment you read the title. Then when you see William Katt got the lead role it is just begging for a quick death. Men in rubber suits and poor effects is the least of this movie's worries. The dialog and overall script was written by monkeys. No that would be insulting to monkeys.

For example, in one scene an actor expresses concern that his wife is "out there" with the aliens. So his very next suggestion is they should all stay put and fortify they would stand a better chance to survive.

Another scene the lead played by Katt says he knows a safe route. Next you know he is getting another cast member killed off in the sewars tunnels.

People insist it is a bear attacking even though they have seen a giant spider creature. After all we all know about those 8 legged bears. Throughout the entire movie we are beaten over the head with cliché dialog and banter about what would be the next best idea or route to take or which missing person to save.

Early on in the picture a black girl wants to find her mama but Katt wants her to take the car and be safe. The dialog is stereotypical and pointless. Then there is the disgruntle local hunter who has a grudge against Katt's character for writing a bad review about him. I don't know many hunters who care much about newspaper reviews.

Well the movie aired as the Sunday afternoon movie on the SyFy channel and I just felt it needed to be said, this movie is truly awful.

Ren & Stimpy 'Adult Party Cartoon' (2003)

Well wha'd you expect?

[4 July 2003]

This cartoon has not improved with age like fine wines do. No, it has grown green disgusting fungus mold like the nacho cheese I left under my bed since the show left Nick. That could be a good thing. The cartoon that got booted off Nick for Ren going inside Stimpy's colon more than once has found an "Adult" audience on TNN. Now Ren can pound anything he likes into Stimpy's lower digestive track like baseballs and say catchy phrases like, "Who's the pitcher and who's catcher!?". Tonight's show we saw the Horse acting as Ren's PSYCHOtheripist and gave us some insight into the twisted brain of Ren. (Like we needed to see that!) TNN has purchased only six new episodes and I think that was to play it safe and see how the public reviewed them. I think the time slot of 10pm is early enough and I won't have a problem with twisted humor as long as this cartoon doesn't air in the morning/afternoon or rerun on a "kids network" as it had before. The only backlash I would expect is the other networks will compete for viewers with more adult shows like Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" which appears on a network geared toward children.

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)

Wrath of Kahn Remake

[21 May 2003]

Yes that about sums it up, right down to Spocks death at the end of the movie to save the ship and crew. The FX are average and the action is good, plus a few laughs. But let's face it, Brent Spiner is visibly aging and androids don't age. IF they make another STNG movie they will all need wheelchairs and walkers. The NG series began in 1987, when Brent was 38 and now the guy is 54! I really hope this is the last movie and we are not going to see "The Search for Data" next. I like all Star Trek movies but the two best in my opinion are still "Wrath of Kahn" and "First Contact".

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

Great Children's Movie

[29 May 2002]

It seems that movie industry has lost its ability to produce such rare children movies that adults can enjoy as well. I have never read a "Harry Potter" novel, nor have my two sons. We sat down and watched this movie on DVD. The movie reminded me of my old favorites such as "Willy Wonka", "Dr. Dolittle", and many others. My sister is one of those who criticized this film based on the fact that it deals with witchcraft. I think people like that need to be more open to the fact that this is "fantasy" and not one those action movies that the hero is the man with the highest body-count. Many people find fault with any movie. I see this one will be a classic and its sequels will do as well, if Harry Potter can keep the formula the same (excuse the pun).

Spider-Man (2002)

Best Movie this Year

[29 May 2002]

The movie follows the comic books on every point but one. Built in web slingers was different but enjoyable. I was laughing my butt off when Peter Parker is trying very hard to learn how to shoot a web. However in the future we will never see the old cliche "Darn! Web shooters out of fluid.". This movie was light hearted and made me cry for at least two scenes. It demonstrates that good is no more "pure" than evil can be, and that with great power comes great responsibility. A good ethic and moral builder for all ages.