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Reviews
V/H/S Viral (2014)
11 out of 10. Other reviewers need to relax.
And so, spoilers ahoy - though I don't think it matters so much for movies like V/H/S Viral.
You had me at "Snotty suburban skater kids versus the Tijuana Mexican Death Cult".
This movie gets poor-to-middle reviews all over the internet (70% on Rotten Tomatoes, 4 out of ten stars on IMDb), but I think people just go in to it with the wrong expectations - THIS MOVIE WAS AWESOME.
From the outset, we have a couple that get sucked into a completely nonsensical thing involving an ice-cream van on the run from the pigs that broadcasts cell phone murder videos to people that make them so crazy that much of Los Angeles ends up in flames and murder sprees.
We have a sequence in which a Spanish dude invents a machine that allows him to trade places with his parallel-universe counterpart, only to find that satanic sacrifice worship is totally the norm in said parallel universe, and gets his head eaten by the monstrous loin- jaws of his parallel universe wife. That was pretty awesome.
Of course we have the snotty stoner kids that go to Tijuana in search of a new skate spot but meet up with a crazy Mexican death cult - this was my favorite.
There's more. None of it makes much sense. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO in a movie like this. The whole thing was 110% awesome. This series is great - I thought the second was the best - and I hope they keep making more of them.
Also some gory BMX bike shaky cam footage.
Eleven out of ten stars.
Magnet Releasing: props to y'all
ATM (2012)
Oh god, so bad.
I don't even have words to say about how absolutely garbage this movie was. From the opening bits, to the very end, the whole thing was so clichéd and vapid that I am left speechless.
I watched it with my girlfriend (who enjoyed it, so take my review with a grain of salt, perhaps), and I gritted my teeth from the beginning on.
I will say that it's not predictable. In this case, that's a bad thing. The reason one cannot tell what's about to happen is because almost nothing in the movie makes logical sense. I kept hoping for a plot twist that would make anything make sense, but it just really doesn't happen in this movie.
Also, I hate that kid from the Drake and Josh show on Nick. Man, in this movie it is like he is trying to be the douche bag played by his brother from his teen years. I was glad when... OK, no spoilers.
Grrr. I am not glad I watched this movie, and I would recommend you also not watch it. Super lame.
Ultraviolet (2006)
Can't understand the low rating.
As the title says, I really fail to understand the low rating this movie seems to universally earn. I fully realize my tastes are a bit outside the norm, but usually I find that I have some comrades in my high ratings of B-movies. With Ultraviolet, I feel alone in my very high praise for it.
Yes, this is one of my favorite action / Sci-Fi movies. I don't even see it as a B-Movie; the story is interesting and novel, with the... special boy, the effects are good in that over-the-top super-saturated color and CG way, and Milla as usual is a great action heroine.
Don't avoid this movie due to the reviews. If you like action, comic-book style visuals, and a trippy story, you really should give this a try.
Transsiberian (2008)
Good, but not perfect thriller in the vein of Hitchcock
First, let me readily admit that while I used to be quite the cinephile, in recent years my tastes have sunk to the extreme lowbrow. My wife and I went to see Transsiberian as part of a date I took her on for her birthday. The occasion was the only reason I didn't (seriously, anyway) suggest that we go see Quarantine or the premier of Saw V instead of Transsiberian. Yes, I've sunk pretty low... :) However, especially in hindsight, I enjoyed the movie much more than I had expected to. As others have noted, there are many direct references to Hitchcock themes and techniques, and the first half of the movie builds quite slowly in order to establish the characters - which is done very well, even considering the necessary mystery surrounding a couple of the principals.
After a key series of rapid events occurs roughly midway through the film, the tension immediately ratchets up to a very thrilling level. Without spoiling anything, there are close-quarters cat-and-mouse movements on the train that are very effectively nail-biting.
I wasn't familiar with many of the female cast, nor the darkly charming Spaniard, but performances were solid all around. Woody Harrelson likely didn't have to put a huge amount of effort or training into his goofy, naive American, but Ben Kingsley, to me, absolutely made the movie with his role (again - no spoilers - see for yourself).
I disagree with other commentators about the ending leaving too much plot unexplained. It seemed to me like things were tied up quite well. The denouement is maybe almost too-quick, but I still didn't feel there were open questions to any negative effect on my opinion of the movie.