nabeel1127 Reviews

Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021 TV Special)

Nuanced but hilarious critique

[10/10 · 25 October 2021]

Dave does what he does so amazingly since the Chappelle Show. He takes the world he sees, tells phenomenal stories of it, and uses comedy as a tool he has mastered to get his message across.

Hollows Grove (2014)

Would not be disappointed if I paid for it... stay after credits

[8/10 · 14 October 2014]

I was lucky enough to see a pre-screening of this movie, but I have to say that if I paid too see it in theaters, I wouldn't have been disappointed. For a scary movie, especially a low budget one, this is really good. Initially everybody watching it with me complained about the slow build and the fact that we were sick of the flood of "home movie" style scary movies. But this movie made up did it all very well. For starters, the home movie style isn't the same as in most movies. The camera isn't constantly running, shaking, flipping, and falling. It's steady for about 90% of the movie, and I thoroughly appreciate that. And the slow build I spoke about earlier is necessary, it helped me to settle in before it scared me. Which it definitely did. It didn't do it with crazy cheap scares or jump scenes, but with that slow build I mentioned earlier. It built the tension and then cut through it. The characters are pretty well developed and the acting is good. Nobody is going to win any Oscars for this, but I wasn't left wanting anything from the actors. Everybody played their part, and they played it well. The story is the usual "we go to a haunted place and discover it's actually haunted" but the perspective is pretty different. Though the movie was semi-predictable, it kept me and everybody I watched it with on the edge of our seats, especially near the end. My only real complaint about this movie is the beginning and end scenes with the detective. It made it seem too much like an interactive movie at Universal Studios or something. But stay after the credits, and the bad ending scene makes up for itself.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

It's a Mission Impossible... they did what they do

[8/10 · 6 January 2012]

I want to start off with my usual disclaimer on action flicks: This is not a movie with a whole lot of story, character development and super believable anything. That being said, the movie did have a fairly typical story line "Terrorist trying to steal bombs to start a war." That's not a spoiler, you find that out 10 minutes into the movie.

This movie is action packed! I really don't think more than 5 minutes pass without at least a 10 minute action sequence. Every sequence is filled with over the top stunts and technology and it is awesome! Tom Cruise looks pretty aged in this movie, but that's forgivable given his age. Paula Patton looks absolutely gorgeous and Jeremy Renner and Simon Pegg are great supports... and the BMW i8 is a beauty all in its own.

There are a few twists in the movie when you're look "oohhh." But they're not necessarily earth shattering. There are quite a few laughs though and the movie is fairly well made. My only beef with this movie is with Tom Cruise's pants... he knew he was gonna be running and completing impossible missions but still wore Size 0 skinny jeans the entire movie! Because of that, he looks very funny when running.

Immortals (2011)

I got what I expected. And I'm happy

[13 November 2011]

I went to see this movie with the pretense of "It's going to be a combination of Troy, 300, and Clash of the Titans"... in my own mind, Troy was a 7*, 300 a 10* and Clash of the Titans a 3* movie... That averages out to a 6.67* movie. So that's what I went in expecting.

This movie had a bit more story time than I anticipated, a lot of time was spent away from epic battles but there was plenty of fighting to keep me happy. Special effects were great, stylized blood was plenty but not too much, Frieda Pinto is gorgeous, and Henry Cavill is jacked. The acting was pretty good; to be fair, not very much was necessary from anyone besides Henry Cavill, but none of the actors underperformed.

The quality of the fight scenes was great. Not a single fight scene went by where I was like "ok, I waited 5 minutes for that!?." The fight with the Greek Gods was very well done, although many people may disagree (more on that in the next paragraph). Most of the fights are just "look at Thesius... oh how he knows how to fight." But I personally couldn't care less how many people are fighting as long as the fights are well done.

The fight pertaining to the Gods is seen partly in the trailers when you see people floating in mid air as they and their friends get punished continuously. It's very Matrix/Kung Fu style, and some people didn't like that. But the way I see it, these are Gods fighting, not humans and legends. The fight has to have a different substance than just simple blood and guts.

What really irked me were the inconsistencies with Greek Mythology and the lack luster "epicness" of the Eperius bow. For one, the number of Gods present in this movie is 5. Zeuss, Poseidon, Apollo, Athena and one more... as far as the movie goes, they could of at least shown all of the Olympians. Also, the Titans are shown as rabid monkeys against the Gods. As far as I remember, they were equal to the Gods in strength and intellect. Lastly, the Eperius Bow was not as epic as they had built it up to be; especially the first time it's shot, it sort of just happens.

All in all, the movie was what most people should expect from it. Well done fight scenes, stylized blood, gorgeous Frieda Pinto and Gods.

My Soul to Take (2010)

I need something new Wes

[3/10 · 17 February 2011]

So Wes Craven is turning out to be like a Shyamalan lately... He did Elm Street and it was beyond words of amazing, but this movie seemed like it was written in the same era. One of the boys (who is supposed to be 16) looks like a 70's porn star, one of the girls (also 16) says "I'll be home in 2 skips", and the movie has a "Mean Girls" scene with a lot of language. Honestly if this movie was PG-13 I may not have been so harsh because I would have known it was for the teeny-bopper crowd but this was R because of all the cursing. The movie moved very quickly, too quickly if you ask me. There was absolutely no character development, no plot thickening or climax, there was barely any time to get to learn any of the characters names. Now most times I'd be happy to say "people were dying left and right!" but because there were only 7 characters, one hero and one had to be a killer, so 5 dead in total. People literally died within 5 minutes of each other, so that means everyone was dead within half an hour of the first kill. And there is typically a flash back when you discover who the killer is (ala Scream) when they show you "oh, when Character A was here, Character B was actually doing this!" and help connect the dots. Not so in this situation. Here it was "oh... I think it was you!" then a few lame lines, and a ridiculous ending. I Redboxed the movie so it wasn't a big deal, not beating myself up over it. But don't waste more than $1 on this.

The Last Airbender (2010)

Avatar: The Last Time I Get Bent Over by Shyamalan

[2/10 · 3 July 2010]

I generally don't hate movies; I always say "hey, at least it entertained me." But this movie was absolutely horrendous. I don't even know where to begin. I am an avid watcher of the animated series on Nickelodeon, as are my other two siblings so we went into this movie with such high expectations... we were like "You can't ruin a movie like this! It's already made!!!" Obviously, all you have to do is give it to M. Night Shyamalan.

Mr. Shyamalan wrote and directed the movie. For their ridiculous choice in choosing a director AND writer, I feel like the president of Nickelodeon should make a public apology and promise to make it right for the next one. My five year old cousin could have written a better script. They literally had lines like "It's time to show them that we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs." What the hell does that even mean!? I'll tell you, it means the script writer is a moron. The dialog was just horrendous, they had narration that did absolutely nothing for you, and the characters blurted random facts that nobody cared about. They tried to explain things through random dialog, but all it did was annoy everybody.

Next up was the mispronunciation of the names, locations, and the word Avatar. They mispronounced Saka, Aang, and the word Avatar amongst many other things. Really?! How do you mispronounce words like that? It's not like it was a book where it's open for interpretation, it's based on a cartoon and the words are easy! He may have tried to give it a more Asian feel or something, but that was a bad move. Words that the show is built around, and the fan base is more than familiar with should not be tampered with no matter how much of an idiot you are.

The bending… it was stupid. They had to do a hop, skip and an interpretive dance to get anything moving. In the show, the movements of the benders were congruent with the movements of the elements but in this they move ridiculous amounts to move a drop of water. Also, the moves were horrible. Each element had its own form of martial arts in the show to represent the force of each. Earth was very strong, fire was aggressive, water was very fluid, and air was much like breathing. I'm no martial artist, but that was obvious. However in the movie they all look feminine and it made me really mad.

Character representation was pretty crappy also. Sorry, let me correct myself, it was also horrible. Sokka was played by the guy who plays Jasper in Twilight. In the cartoon he's clumsy, goofy, yet protective. In the movie, he's pretty much Jasper. He has a blank face the entire time, he's older than he should be, and he sucks. Aang was a bit chubby for my liking, his acting was also bad, and he made airbending look like a dance from a Miami nightclub. Katara was also bad acting, she looked a mess the entire time and she was a pansy, although in the show she was strong and assertive. Zuko's hair was not the way it was supposed to be, his burn was pretty much not visible, but his acting was good. Uncle Iroh was skinny, why?! Cuz Shyamalan is a freakin idiot. The actor did a good job with the wisdom portrayal but he couldn't capture everything the fat Uncle Iroh did in the show. Fire Lord Ozai didn't have the long hair or chin hair he was supposed to have, and he didn't seem as truly evil as the cartoon one did. Avatar Roku wasn't an Avatar at all, but instead he was a dragon and is never referred to as Avatar Roku. The earth village people were also poor actors, and I don't know what more to say about them besides the choreographed bending was just ridiculous.

The racism factor. I don't wanna call Shyamalan a racist. The show was about the series of nations separated by ability coming together to live in peace. I can understand him separating the nations into races as well. What I don't understand is why all the good guys with any lines are white. The entire water nation seems to be of Eskimo descent, but Sokka, Katara, their Grandma and the teacher were all pure white, because they have lines in the movie.

I've never truly hated a movie. I've disliked them, I've critiqued them, I've been annoyed and bored. But this movie, I hated for crushing one of the best cartoons ever. I've realized that nightmares are really just dreams directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Don't waste your time or money. Push Nickelodeon for a reboot immediately.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

They almost had it...

[8/10 · 4 May 2010]

They almost made this movie the way I wanted it. - They changed the story up a bit, but I expected that. A majority of the viewers of this movie are people who had seen it before, so they wanted to keep us on our toes.

• The actors were pretty good, though I think the main girl would have been better off as the blonde (Ruby from Supernatural) but that's okay.

• They kept a lot of the same things, same kills, the boiler room, the body bag, all that stuff was still there. I appreciated the loyalty to the original.

• There was a decent amount of jumps for a movie that really isn't meant to "scare you out your seat" but rather "scare you out your bed."

• The necessary explosion scene could not have been done better, thank you Mr. Bay.

BUT!!!

• I was a little unhappy about the new Freddy back story, more so out of a loyal fans perspective. They made it one of those "vengeful killer" movies as opposed to the original "deranged, kill you cuz I want to" movie. but it did it's job.

-My biggest disappointment in this movie was the fact that Freddy wasn't that scary..

• The make-up wasn't like the original where he looked like this scary mother-f, in this he just looked like a burned man with down syndrome.

• Also, the original Freddy was witty and crude, this one wasn't really. He wasn't funny in his demented way, they had a few lines but not as many as I would've liked.

• The last thing about Freddy was how often they showed his face in this!! They never kept his face in the dark, it was always there in the open... WHY?! From the first time they show him, you see his face..

• OH... and I wanted to here my song more often!! "One, two, Freddy's coming for you..." Why was it not played more often?!

But in the end, Freddy wasn't that big of a problem. He was acted out well, and the movie was very well done. Go see it!!!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Don't waste money for the theater...

[4/10 · 4 May 2009]

I honestly had expected a lot from this movie. It was one of the most awaited movies of the year with two of the most awaited characters from the comics. They introduced Gambit and Deadpool!But wait... they screwed that up. The portrayal of Gambit as a suave, gritty New Orleans guy was not there. His accent was barely audible with the guy they chose, and the costume was horrid. And Deadpool... you have GOT to be kidding me. He was one of my favorite characters, witty, cool swords, his powers. But they messed him up in ways you can't even imagine. Not to mention the screen time the two characters were given was pathetic. Besides those two characters, the special effects were not up to par. Even Wolverines claws looked fake. The story was changed quite a bit but whatever. IF you love X-Men, wait for this to come out on DVD so you don't lose too much money. If you just like watching movies, then go for it.

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)

Scared me awake...

[9/10 · 28 March 2009]

This movie did honestly scare the crap out of me. All I watch is scary movies, and I never get scared, especially with the crap they produce lately. But this one was different. Yes, they used cheap scares, and noises, and "dark man in corner" tricks.. but really, after a few decades of scary movies, new tricks become sparse. The only difference becomes the execution of the cheap trick, and I thought the execution was very good. And I see a lot of people talking about how its "just another ghost story"... well, yes. Ghosts haunt houses, appear in your sleep, bother you, scare you... the works. That is agreed on by those of us who believe in ghosts. Plus, a ghost haunting a random neck of the woods would just be stupid (or a stupid twist to Jason). Only reason I didn't give the movie a 10 was because they had some stupid stuff happening (like taking a shower in a house you officially know is haunted). Cast was well picked, script was pretty decent. Go watch it.

OH, and the story, not even all that predictable.. and I should know, I guessed the end of the first two Saw movies.

Hitman (I) (2007)

Pretty good movie

[8/10 · 3 August 2008]

This movie was by no means a perfect movie. But I defy you to find an action movie that is. It has guns, blood, and an extremely hot supporting actress... what else do we need from an action film as men?!?!? Nothing! I enjoyed it thoroughly. It had plenty of action sequences, many of which were straight from the game. A couple plot twists, and Nika is BEYOND gorgeous. Unfortunately the plot twists were pretty confusing, and poorly executed. But then again, I give them props for even having plot twists. The acting was good, I enjoyed the sound track. I also liked the ending (haven't seen the alternate ending yet). I actually ended up buying it, and seeing as I'm a student with not much spare money, that says a bit about the movie. Now obviously, its not a "must have" movie, but it is definitely worth watching, just not with your kids, lots of blood.

The Dark Knight (2008)

One of the best movies on the face of this earth

[10/10 · 18 July 2008]

I honestly don't know how to describe this movie... so guess I'll blab about everything I loved. I saw the midnight showing of it, and the 3:00 am showing of it. I loved the concepts, the actors, special effects, the execution of all the wonderful ideas, everything. Every little thing is tied in to the next. The way they explained the development of every character was also phenomenal because they put it in real world terms along with all of his gadgets and business. They basically refused to overlook even the slightest detail. Its a two and a half hour movie yet not a second went by that I didn't enjoy. Christian Bale makes a phenomenal batman. Heath Ledgers portrayal of Joker was unheard of. Alfred is played very well, still witty. Slightly upset that Katie Holmes was replaced, but that's more Tom Cruises fault, so whatever. Everything was PERFECT!!! Go see it!!!

Rise: Blood Hunter (2007)

It was decent

[5/10 · 5 June 2008]

It was a vampire flick with a lot of different views on vampires... Lucy Lui was obviously gorgeous in it. The acting was good. But what disappointed me so was the lack of story. Yeah there is a "back story" and a "revenge story" but no... "STORY". You know? They don't explain Sadie Blakes (Lucy Lui's character) job, they don't explain their new definition of vampire, the flash backs are randomly in and out so you don't know which side is up. Its a nice kick back film, but nothing to get excited about. I'm hoping there's a part two to explain all of that stuff... oh and the dude from the Shield, he did a very good job in his role. But again... no plot OR character development.

Slow Burn (2005)

A wonderful movie if ever there was one

[9/10 · 5 June 2008]

Alright. This was quite honestly one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. I bought it at Blockbuster expecting very little from it. I mean, the reviews on it weren't great, it wasn't a big money maker and it wasn't syced up either. So I figured it would be middle of the day, watch it just to pass time type movie... yeah, no. I was supposed to be doing homework while I was watching it. I turned my laptop off 2 minutes into the movie. There was plot turns from beginning to end, good acting, pretty lady constantly naked. I mean, it was an all around movie.

True, it had a bit much nudity for my taste, but still, it never took away from the movie. Nobody was ever naked for the sake of being naked. Watch it!! It's not like the garbage thats over hyped now a days.

Captivity (2007)

Ummmm. Rental?

[4/10 · 5 June 2008]

I was at Blockbuster, and this movie was on sale, 4 for $20. I was like, sure. I really wanted to see it. It looked grimy, the advertising was great, and it was supposedly part of the "Films to Die For" collection. So I got it... not even worth it. I wanted to be scared so bad. Honestly, I was alone in my apartment, lights out, volume at like 60, and it was midnight. Who wouldn't get scared?! Somebody watching a comedy, or a pathetic excuse for a horror flick. This was a thriller at best, I don't want to get scientific about it and say it was more of a psychological attack or anything. It was just simply not what I expected. There was no torture, it wasn't gruesome, it wasn't scary, even the music didn't get me. Now, I don't really love blood and guts and what not, but I love horror. This was none of the above. But I did appreciate the good acting, and the beautiful porn star.

The Condemned (2007)

I appreciate this movie.

[8/10 · 5 June 2008]

I wasn't expecting much from the movie. I expected it to be a decent action flick. Pretty stupid acting, and because of recent trends, a lot of CGI. Oh my god am I thankful for being wrong. The acting was exceptional, Stone Cold even did a very good job (which I guess isn't all that surprising seeing as he's a 'wrestler' but whatever). There was a good bit of "look into your conscience" in there, some stuff about the FBI and what not. It was this and that, story line wasn't tremendous, the movie wasn't wonderful. But it was well made, NO CGI!!!! I loved that part. And I mean, a fight is a fight, and thats what I paid for. I didn't care if they dressed it up pretty.

The Kingdom (2007)

The Kingdom... wonderful movie

[10/10 · 7 October 2007]

I saw this movie the night it was released. I wanna start off complimenting the actors and producers for their excellent job on the film. I am a Muslim and after all the bad press and that garbage I appreciate the film makers showing both ends of the spectrum. They showed all the Muslim's with families and displayed the crazy fanatics we don't claim, and the real Muslim's the rest of us actually are. The film shows Saudi Arabia as it is, with lots of high risers, roads, beautiful architecture and all. Not some stupid dessert. This movie was wonderfully made. The actors were great. No detail was over looked. It had some beautiful lines, awesome scenes that had the entire audience clapping and cheering, laughing and sometimes even crying all at the same time. This movie is sort of like a CSI meets Syriana type and leaves us all with a slightly expectedly unexpected end, and a last line cliff hanger. GO WATCH IT, ITS WORTH IT!!!!