geraldleejones-20639 Reviews

Reed's Point (2022)

The ending left me irate!

[2/10 · 30 May 2024]

The movie as a whole was an interesting take on the entire Jersey Devil legend and it kept my attention throughout the course of the film. It bears a remarkable feature with the Blair Witch Project but in exact opposite. The Blair Witch was an utterly inane piece of boring garbage with a spectacular final 30 seconds which shocked most people in a stroke of genius that literally made you jump, while Reed's Point was a well played plot that kept you guessing right up to the final minute, but then it descended into complete gibberish which explained the story but made no sense whatsoever! I was furious as the waste of the entire plot with this garbage and a waste of 90 minutes of my life - it just made NO SENSE!

The other GLARING flaw was the actress who played Sarah who seemed incapable of expressing even a hint of emotion. Her rendition of some ordering a cup of coffee had the very same impact as a person encountering a supernatural creature! There was a scene of her being faced with a woman pointing a gun at her and she delivered her lines with the emotion of someone being politely asked the time! I let out a slight laugh at it.

A decent plot with a decent flow and good expectations is a horrible thing to destroy right at the finish line!

Survival Island (2002)

Written by high Frat brothers! No doubt dude!

[1/10 · 30 May 2024]

I can just imagine. David and Scott Hillenbrand sitting in a Frat House with twenty other Frat brothers surrounding a HUGE bong and hysterically laughing and talking about making a horror movie. While totally buzzed they decided to pass a hat around to collect enough money to make said movie. Each Frat boy drops in a week's allowance and by morning they have the $500,000 to make the movies!

They then assign themselves roles and call their Sorority Sisters in for the female roles, they go recruit a few dorks from the Film Production and Drama departments to do the tech work and set out to make the MOST gnarly and head bangingest movies ever made DUDES!

And there is the way it was made and why it is so amazingly amateurish and utterly juvenile!

David's Birthday (2009)

Great premise with not so great execution

[8/10 · 19 May 2024]

Forgetting its homosexual subject matter for a moment, no one commenting on this film seems to critique it for content and execution. The gay audience pans it for it not being gay enough and out comes the gay card in accusing it of being homophobic, and I feel that the very positive comments are made only because it is gay themed. Anyway, the story was very thought-provoking, and it was dealt with in a very sober way, but in a way that was so slow paced and drawn out that it become boring by the second half of the film.

And part of the drawn-out aspects was the usual European arty scenes of sunsets, seagulls flying in front of clouds and brooding distance and close-up views of the waves. Every movie made in Italy has to be an Art House production with deep underlying meanings and this one is a prime example of that over blown propensity!

The movie was a modern tragedy and conveyed that very well, it was not a rainbow flying gay movie, but a human story that happened to involve homosexual feelings awakening in a married "straight" man - deal with it!

This would have been a very entertaining hour-long drama presentation, but as a full-length movie it detracted from its overall appeal.

Lurking Fear (1994)

Really Bad

[1/10 · 17 May 2024]

Not a Lovecraft fan, so that is one strike. It is a shame that this b-movie cast, which is actually pretty entertaining is so utterly wasted on this crap. The usual dark and brooding atmosphere is totally absent in this movie and as usual the horrific nature of the creatures is not even disturbing. Part of the problem is that terrifying quality of the author's creatures is deeply embedded in his demented mind and is not translatable to the screen.

Beyond that the set up in this film is haphazard at best, it is supposedly set in a small town in Upstate New York, which oddly enough has a Romanian Eastern Orthodox Church in it surrounded by a western style cemetery on its grounds and the buildings (including the funeral home) look very eastern European. In fact the landscape of Upstate New York looks oddly reminiscent of rural Romania!

And another strange thing is the odd mixture of character accents which include the strong Southern accent of the young criminal and the Lower-class British accent of the villain.

Good for a few laughs and overabundance of groans!

A Town Full of Ghosts (2022)

A Shining/Blair Witch hybrid Disaster

[2/10 · 9 May 2024]

This movie is yet another "Found Footage" farce which centers around a fake ghost town which is obviously a kiddie theme park that is explained away with nonsense about it being a "real" town that was developed into a theme park, talk about the need for suspension of disbelief!!!

It was long, boring and had very little storyline or action. It rips off the storyline of "The Shining" but presented in a "Blair Witch" format. The acting is surprisingly good, but the writing is a pitiful excuse for a script -THERE IS NO STORYLINE AT ALL!!! The characters were believable enough with the single exception of the caretaker "Billy" who seems to be a catch all stereotype of a Tex-Mex and Indian characters. Its huge difference with the Blair Witch movies is that the last 30 seconds of Blair Witch actually gave us a shock, whereas this film is a dud and goes out with a disappointing whimper. It was a waste of film and a waste of your time!

Terror Tales (2016)

Please! Let this film just be a sick joke!

[1/10 · 15 April 2024]

I have watched and reviewed some horrible film from Prime Video, but this one has to be the absolute ROCK BOTTOM!!! The stories are boring and contrived with no coherence whatsoever....and I don't mean among them as a whole, but within each individual "tale." To say that I loathe them all would be right on the mark, but I especially hold the first one in utter contempt. Th story made no sense even for a moment, the casting was a disaster. The lead character which was a female author with a young child and was played by a haggard old actress (born 1947) with massive make-up who did not have enough talent to be a supporting actress in a kindergarten Christmas Pageant, she was RANCID as well as being better suited to play the child's GRANDMOTHER! Plus, the costume for the demon involved was laughable as were the special effects involved in his role!

The other two stories were bad, but not quite as nauseating and senseless as the first. The scenario binding the tales together was out of place altogether and added NOTHING to the movies.

If you meet this movie in a dark alley RUN FOR YOUR LIFE to avoid it!!!!!

The Hopewell Haunting (2023)

First rate suspenseful "horror" from beginning to end

[10/10 · 7 April 2024]

This is one of the best horror films I have even seen! No gore or violence just suspense and mood manipulation! The dialogue is minimal, but is used to great effect...anything worth being said is included without any "dramatic" filler.

The setting is perfect to give one the uneasiness that keeps you waiting. The interplay between characters is also minimalist with no wasted words and much of the message is gotten across by facial expressions and body motion. The husband and wife evoke strong emotion without dialogue and it is very effective!

The absolute GEM of this movie if the performance of the star, who expresses every line with profound emotion and makes you fill a wide gamut of emotion towards him which evolves throughout the film!

This is one GOOD movies!!!

La tomba (2006 Video)

Stink bomb!!!!

[1/10 · 28 March 2024]

I read several reviews before watching this film, assuming that no movie could be as bad as the reviews said this one was, but I was proven wrong, in a very big way! In the first scene I was impressed (IN A NEGATIVE WAY) by how bad the makeup was on the actors! The bald head cap on the lead actor was so wrinkled that the edges of it could be seen from a mile away, later the fake mustache on the guide/professor looked a lot like one of those fakes worn by the Three Stooges. You found yourself just waiting for it to fall out!

The acting was horrific (more so than even the Movie) and took away from any drama that might have slipped out of the rancid script! That was considerable T & A from the beginning onward, if that was anything you wanted to see you'd be better off renting some real soft-core porn!

Move along folk, there ain't nothing to see here!!!

Octopus 2: River of Fear (2001 Video)

A despicable insult to human intelligence!

[1/10 · 24 March 2024]

This "movie" is an insult to human intelligence on sooo many levels! The sheer stupidity of the plot and the scenes that involved any efforts on the part of every character, the horrible use of scene which correlate to no geographic locations in New York City, the use of stock footage which transforms into situations and vehicles of totally different types in close ups, the list of flaws is endless.

Being a New Yorker I was furious of the attempt to pass this off as being part of New York...industrial areas where there are none, forested hillsides above the harbor unit station where there are none, misdirection in the travel sequences of boats and the infamous school bus and its destination! ALL of this would be tolerable if it were part of a good, BUT it is NOT!

I could go on endlessly about stupidity like an octopus collapsing a steel and concrete reinforced tunnel, but I will cut to the criminal portrayal of a old New York Jewish lady acting like a nattering fool and portrayed by a young woman in a horrible wig and heavy bad make-up using a vile stereotypical Jewish whiney accent!

WHAT A DISASTER OF A FILM!!!!!

The Hollow (2015 TV Movie)

A good effort and mostly pays off

[6/10 · 18 March 2024]

The plot was pretty good with a few minor holes in it, but overall very watchable. I though the special effects were better than the average low budget Canadian horror film, while the monster was not very scary (ARE THEY EVER?) it was impressive enough and had a decent impact on the tension level of the entire film! The time line of the original incident that caused the curse and the current situation were a bet fuzzy and did not make total sense, but it was a very minor part of the plot, The acting for the most part was pretty good if a little over done, WITH ONE EXCEPTION...Emma the youngest daughter had a single emotion and that was stark raving fear even at times when it was NOT justified, the actress seems to have no acting talents except a very long and extremely loud and annoying scream.

It was a pretty interesting storyline and kept my attention to the end. If you expect a horror classic you won't find it here, but by modern standards this one ain't bad at all!

After Chernobyl (I) (2021)

One of worst films EVER!!!!

[1/10 · 17 March 2024]

This movie is a worse disaster than the actual Chernobyl Meltdown itself!!! Where should I begin, well the fact that these nitwits are in Russia and somehow stumble into Ukraine and manage to then unwittingly stumble into the EXCLUSION ZONE which seems to be almost totally unguarded!!! Then the whole nonsense of having both radiated survivors AND the ghosts of dead radiation victims come after them!?!?!? Give me a frigging break!

The writing is totally amateurish with unbelievable lines delivered by some of the worst actors to ever appear in a movie!!! The plotline seems to portray these idiots as too stupid to put two and two together and realize that an abandoned CITY in Ukraine is the site of the Chernobyl Meltdown Site.....Duh!!!

The Devil Below (2021)

Excellent film, so well done it seems real

[9/10 · 11 March 2024]

This movie is a trifecta of Excellent plot, Excellent script and Excellent acting! Rarely do I find a horror or Science Fiction movie with a plot which at its core is based on a fairly original idea. Now, this film uses elements of other similar movies, but they are blended in a way that strikes you as totally new.

The pieces don't seem to be fitting into each other and meshing for a coherent storyline and then BAM it all coalesces into a great theme. I was deeply interested in the entire movie and it flow very well and kept me glued to the screen right up the final credits!

I am impressed by the quality of the dialogue and even more so by the actors presentation. The tried and true Mister Patton was great as usual, but the other actors were equally good, even the ones I never heard of before.

I wish I could find more movies like this one, it is one of the few movies that I am going to watch again at some point!

The Convent (2018)

Utterly wrong historically and badly acted as well

[1/10 · 7 March 2024]

The first bizarre thing was pointing out that it is 1619 and then flipping to 1659 in 3 seconds. In 1659 Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector of the Republic of England. Catholism was outlawed, there were no convents or nuns in Great Britain at the time, the burning of witches was over and the Inquisition was never part of English history as it was part of the Spanish Catholic Church and England was Protestant. A nun appearing before and English Judge would have been arrested immediately and imprisoned! Every aspect of this farce is total nonsense when compared to history.

As if that were not enough, the writing is dreadful and the acting was on a par with those horrible daytime soap operas!

Do youself a favor and skip this pile of manure!!!

Dark Harvest (2023)

Excellent new twist on a familiar horror theme

[9/10 · 21 February 2024]

This movie has excellent performance by every member of the cast plus a very intricate plot delivered with solid dialogue designed to supply clue to the ultimate plot WITHOUT giving it away till the very end. It also does not leave you hanging with a conclusion that leaves questions about the future. This is NOT the type of story designed for endless sequels, instead it delivers a solid story with a logical beginning, a good middle storyline that informs the viewer to where things are headed and then a revealing ending segment that leaves you satisfied and yet at the same time a bit surprised, All around good movie that keeps you hooked on the story to the last minute!

The Hive (2021)

The 3 Stooges meet the Bloodthirsty Bees

[1/10 · 15 February 2024]

ITN Films has done it again!! They follow every horrible film with an even worse movie. This one is a slapstick horror film with some of the most ridiculous dubbing even seen in filmmaking history! The voice actors actually resemble the tone and delivery of the Three Stooges! The dialogue itself is juvenile with slapstick actions and bodily motions! Even facial expressions are unending series of mugging and distorted overblown emotions. The main problem is the fact these attempts at humor are either unintentional or utter failures at being funny! The aerobatics involved in every stunt are done so clumsily that approach humor, but then in every case end violently! This is a horrifically mismatch of attempted humor and horror. GIVE IT A MISS!!!!

Mega Lightning 2 (2023)

Not worth even one star

[1/10 · 9 February 2024]

I would call this film a piece of excrement, except I would not wish to cast dispersions on pieces of manure. There is NO story line, none at all. This is a mish mosh of three ludicrous events involving three ludicrous characters in a scenario so unbelievable that it all is ridiculous to even fathom. The acting is second rate with a couple of decent exceptions, but they are wasted on irrelevant dialogue which is soooo bad that it makes it seem like the movie will never end! The only thing that is worse than the nonexistent story is the utterly hokey special effects. The lightning strikes are so phony that the characters don't even notice them and come off as small firecrackers going off haphazardly. Damage that these strikes are supposedly causing disappears in the very next shot! On Amazon Prime Video it garners a one-star rating, only because zero stars does not exist!

Shameless (2011–2021)

Softcore Porn, glorification of drug use & Alcoholism -Pure degeneration

[1/10 · 17 January 2024]

If you enjoy degeneracy and human tragedy, This is the "Comedy" for you! Not a single character elicits a single drop of sympathy in the entire show. Drug and alcohol abuse, child neglect and sexual degeneracy are the themes of the entire show. The heroine of the entire story is a promiscuous bed hopper and are her two brothers who are depicted as having underaged sex with fellow teens and adults on every show! Teen pregnancy is part of the rank comedy throughout the run of the show! The parental figures are liars, cheats and murderers as well as drug addicts and serial sexual cheaters. Having been raised in Chicago I have seen families in similar situations, but not in the total depravity depicted in this series! I would say this show is vomit inducing at best!

My big question for the century is how they permitted teenage actors to be shown nude or semi-nude throughout the run of the show?

Absolon (2003)

Eerily Familiar, but very poorly done

[2/10 · 11 January 2024]

This 2003 foreshadows some of the history of the Covid pandemic and makes even the wildest conspiracy theories about it seem a lot more plausible! That having been said the movie is poorly written, badly acted and leave a very amateurish taste in one's mouth by its conclusion. Lambert has never been a rival of Olivier, so his flat emotionless acting is par for the course. But, the usually excellent acting of Lou Diamond Phillips is way off his usual mark and the usually mediocre acting of Ron Perlman is worst than usual.

The female lead over acts the tough girl cop role to the nth degree. Even bit players ALL dramatically emote every phase of their parts. If the movie was transformed into food, it would be a huge HAM sandwich!

It did keep my interest for the most part, but frequently made me roll my eyes at the line deliveries. I don't hate it, but I almost recommend it unless you just want to kill some time!

Clownado (2019)

Distasteful TRASH and a waste of time

[1/10 · 7 January 2024]

Ah, where to begin? This "movie" is a soft core effort filled with copious and extremely gratuitous amounts of sexual scenes acted out by some of the MOST unattractive actors I have ever seen! At some points you may find your stomach doing a nauseous flip! And such scene are disbursed throughout the film!

Many reviews give kudos for the parody or spoof quality of this film, but no serious movie buff will be able to identify either quality in this mess.

It really if a stream of consciousness nightmare of trashy sexual moments mixed with very amateurish gore scenes right out of 1950s extremely low budget slasher films.

The very best word I can think of to describe this pile of manure is REVOLTING!

Like a Bat Outta Hell (2013)

Decent movie till the last 10 minutes

[1/10 · 4 January 2024]

A pretty typical vampire-ish film with some pretty good actors and a entertaining storyline leading up to probably the worst ending I have ever seen. Story line has a love triangle with rivalry between the two good looking males over the only female in the main story, the situation gets tense until the bat creatures get involved, but the "truce" ends quickly as one male is killed off.

After developing this subplot for the majority of the movie. It all comes crashing to nothing in a very anti-climatic first murder of the one rival. Within seconds of that murder EVERYBODY is attacked and almost all of them are killed.

During this sequence we are given a strange view of the town which supposed has only on citizen...abandoned houses and a church with a cemetery FILLED with graves and no back story explaining any of the situation.

One member of the group survives with no explanation of how the unarmed survives, then the single resident arrives and gets attacked, but survives with the help of our "Hero" and they discuss the situation and walk out together as the credits roll - NO DETAILS ON WHERE THEY ARE GOING OR WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO!!!

Sum total of the movie equals ZERO! Don't waste a minute of your time watching this!!!!

Secret Santa (2015)

EXTREMELY AWFUL MOVIE!!!!

[1/10 · 2 January 2024]

OMG!!! This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen!!! There is no plot whatsoever, it is like a train of consciousness nightmare that just goes on and on. For being billed as a comedy, it sorely lacks any humorous moments. The lighthearted moments are severely lame and the single good gag scene is so poorly delivered that it elicits a groan rather than a chuckle!

I realize that its total budget was $6000.00 Canadian dollars (about $7.36 in U. S. dollars) but everything is soooo amateurish that it makes every moment utterly cringe worthy. To say that this is a "tribute too" 1980s slasher films is an insult to 99% of such films! I had high hopes for a fun time in watching this movie, those hopes were dashed COMPLETELY!!!!

A Dog for Christmas (2015)

NOT a Christmas Classic, but not horrible!!!

[5/10 · 26 December 2023]

Geez, what a bunch of Scrooges and Grinches in the review section of this movie! This is solid, but corny comedy with a healthy dose of moral thrown in to make it a nice Christmas movie that despite disclaimers is a family suitable movie that will make you laugh, if not warm your heart.

The role of Santa Claus as the narrator does not add very much to the storyline and is, at times, a hindrance to the flow of the story, but I guess it was meant to add a little charm to the slapstick side of the film. I just wish they had integrated his pr, as it is he just functions as an outside presence into the story.

I am amused at all the complaints about the name of the movie because of the inclusion of the word "dog" in the title, since sometimes a good tale can revolve around an aspect that is not present during most of the story! People need to chill out and just enjoy. Not a great movie, not a great cast and no Oscar nominees here, but just a little good clean fun!

Krampus: Origins (2018)

This AIN'T Krampus

[2/10 · 25 December 2023]

From the get-go the movie is riddled with MAJOR errors including saying that Arizona was a Territory in 1918, when it became a state in 1912, the orphanage has Awning of steel and glass right out of the year 2000. But...one doesn't expect perfection from a fairly low budget horror movie, so they are forgiven. However, a film about Krampus and his legend right out European folk lore SHOULD know that folklore and the identity of who and what Krampus is according to history.

The acting is pretty lousy from ALL the adults and most of the kids. One would expect the writing to attempt to recreate an aura of the World War One era, the way people talked and how they expressed themselves.... NONE of that here! The kids talk like big city street kids using modern expressions and idioms!

And the way they depicted this Roman Catholic orphanage and its priest are pretty shoddy and offensive.... I am offended and I am NOT a Catholic!! Pure Krapus!!!!

Asteroid City (2023)

WAY TOO over the top

[1/10 · 12 December 2023]

I love Science Fiction, 1950s style movies and comedies and the thought of the three merged into one film was fantastic...until I saw the results in this mish-mosh of disjointed nonsense! This was basically three unrelated stories inter woven into one plot and in many cases the multiple storylines strategy ends up being a great movie that keeps your mind occupied and stimulated to the final credits.

Regrettably, this film is not such a triumph of film making, it is a meandering flow of nonsense with components that ere TOTALLY unrelated competing for your attention. It was reminiscent of features of the movie "Mars Attacks" but not done nearly as well. I think I created a bald spot on my head from continually scratching my head while trying to figure out what was going on and where it all was going in this movie!

The fact that this is a 2023 release and it is already a free view on Amazon Prime speaks volumes about public interest and success!

The Boneyard (1991)

Good old fashion Horror/Comedy

[8/10 · 9 December 2023]

This is a great example of old fashion horror mixed with a touch of comedy! The actors were good at keeping a straight face during the funny parts and yet did very well in conveying the genuinely scary parts of the story!

It was a pleasure to watch Phyllis Diller put in a mostly serious performance while giving an appropriate taste of her zany humor to soften up her role! She was serious and played the nasty part of her character well enough to dislike her character, but still managed to give you a chuckle at the right times.

The zombie children were very well done and gave you a chill up your spine, while on the other hand the additional monsters were slightly amusing as well as scary! Well worth the hour and a half viewing time to be frightened and amused at the same time!!!