gastricdistress Reviews

Roswell, New Mexico (2019–2022)

Roshwell, New Mesh-hic-o

[1/10 · 28 September 2021]

Between characters sleeping with any and every thing that stands still and the constantly annoying character actor Al Cohol in virtually every scene, this has taken a series and flushed it right down the toilet. They must be getting paid ridiculous amounts of cash by the alcohol industry to push their drug.

Plus, it's idiculously boring. I speed through about 90% of each episode now to see if anything interesting happens. Nope. Not yet.

Urban Myths (2017–2020)

Delightful!

[10/10 · 16 July 2021]

I've only watched the first two episodes so far, but have done so with a smile on my face both times. Excellent storytelling and marvelous characters.

I don't normally refer to anything as 'delightful', but then I don't normally sit through anything with a smile on my face.

I do hope the rest of the episodes are as fun as these first two.

Under the Dome (2013–2015)

Pathetic

[3/10 · 3 May 2021]

They had so much potential for this and turned it into a schlockfest. This happens to just about every Stephen King book Hollywood tries to bring to the big (or small) screen. Some hairbrained screenwriter has to twist and tweak and add ridiculous subplots and characters that have absolutely nothing to do with the story. And end up ruining the whole thing.

This should have been a one season miniseries at most. They could have stuck to the original story and hat an amazing tale, but no...wannabe writers had to clip & snip & paste & plaster all kinds of ridiculous story elements into the plot and turn an excellent tale into a piece of garbage.

Avenue 5 (2020–2022)

Bloody Awful

[2/10 · 4 February 2020]

This show is like an attempt by American writers to write British humor. The jokes, the characters are not only caricatures, they're flat caricatures. So much potential, but it tries too hard. There's no subtlety or finesse. I hope they do better.

2012: Ice Age (2011 Video)

Oh My Gawd, Kill Me Now!

[1/10 · 25 August 2011]

No spoilers. Believe me, there's no way you could spoil this disaster.

Bad acting, bad plot, bad story, bad effects, bad concept, bad, bad, bad.

I kept hoping the main actors would die just to put us out of our misery.

Then I kept hoping the rest of the cast and crew would die, too.

People walking around in sub-zero temperatures with casual clothes on.

Chunks of ice conveniently falling everywhere but on the actors.

Cell phones work at convenient times.

Oh, look...he just happened to find a flashlight when he needed one! And there's a hose! And who in their right mind would name a child "Nelson"?

Jesus wept.

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Battlefield Barf!

[1/10 · 4 December 2008]

I suppose this was an attempt to turn an L Ron Humbug...I mean Hubbard novel into a science fiction movie. Besides the evil Scientologists, um, I mean Psyklos, being absurdly laughable (dreadlocks and moon boots), the entire film just didn't take itself seriously.

There is so much potential in the story, but nothing was followed through, resulting in shallow, if any, plot, hollow characters who were merely caricatures, inept special effects and inane attempts at credibility.

Every copy of this film should be returned to the studio where it should be burned and the ashes swept up and buried in a deep, abandoned salt mine.

Cloverfield (2008)

Fun, Fun, Fun!

[10/10 · 24 January 2008]

Wow! Thoroughly enjoyable! I've been reading a lot of comments from viewers who didn't like it. Most of them complain about the hand-held camera aspect. Many others complain that it didn't have every aspect of the story laid out with surgical precision, leaving no room for the imagination. Boo-whah! The first 15-20 minutes allowed us to get to know the characters. The rest was just go-go-go and is what you'd expect from a first-person experience. They didn't linger on the creature, but just their own experience while it was happening.

This is a movie that depends on the intelligence of the viewer to let their own mind fill in the blanks - the beginning and end of the story. I feel sorry for those who need to have everything handed to them on a plate.

So what if the characters do stupid things...isn't that part of the news everyday?