Krug Stillo Reviews

Santa Sangre (1989)

Beautiful Repulsive Art

[23 June 2004]

Possible spoilers

Alejandro Jodorowsky's (El Topo, The Holy Mountain) SANTA SANGRE was produced by Dario Argento's brother. It contains the same brutal violence towards women as Argento's pictures; although one man (Stockwell) is castrated via acid to the nether regions negating this as an anti feminist film. But this is not a horror movie in any way, shape or form as this is as beautiful as it is repulsive.

The strange Oedipus tale resembles Hitchcock's PSYCHO but this is a whole new kettle of fish. Elaborate colours, (the cemetery scene with the victims painted white resurrecting is similar to the climax in MANIAC but more effective) recalls Japanese films, e.g. Kwaidan. The OTT horror is occasionally camp but this is intended and the closing line ‘MY HANDS' will either make you laugh or cry. Love the film and you'll cry. The emotional soundtrack will enhance this effect, so be warned.

Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)

Udo at his best

[19 June 2004]

To begin honestly, FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN isn't for all tastes. However, the film and brother, BLOOD FOR Dracula, are great treats to genuine horror movie buffs. Surprisingly, for some reason the latter, as offensive as the former was not listed as a 'Video Nasty'. These two films were made back to back (a la Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions) and by the same cast and crew and exploited Andy Warhol's name for distribution.

If you have a fondness for cheesy, funny and gory decadence, then you'll love this film. Plus Udo Kier is and Arno Juerging are great in their roles. The fabulous line – To know Death Otto, you first have to f**k life in the gall bladder – was a bloomer influenced by Last Tango in Paris, but was so funny, director (Paul Morrisey) left it in.

As a passing note, I remember seeing both Ace Ventura and Blade in the cinema for the first time and loudly saying 'It's UDO!' when he appeared.

Ghosts of Mars (2001)

Don't judge it first time around

[18 December 2003]

Well, what can I say? It saddens me that John Carpenter hasn't made a film since Ghosts of Mars, and with word of his retirement looming it emphasises the displeasure. This film seems like the anthology of Carpenter's craft, from the satirical science fiction of Dark Star (1974), the claustrophobia of Assault on Precinct 13, the alien possessions of The Thing (1982) and the machismo of Escape From New York (1982) and Vampires (1998).

A police squad is sent to Mars to return a criminal to trial only to find the area of the prison camp deserted. It transpires that Mars is dominated by homicidal demons. The squad defend themselves, including teaming with the surviving inmates, then must destroy the monsters and escape before the plague spreads to other planets

Unfortunately, it doesn't quite stick together on initial viewing but I believe, as with all Carpenter's films, it'll be a ‘movie ahead of its time'. It's fun, it's different, it has another throbbing Carpenter score and has some subtext. The concept that human fear of invasion from Mars has created a negative destructive force on the planet is ingenious.

The Fog (1980)

A Good Ghost Story

[18 December 2003]

Possible Spoilers

I'm hurt by the amount of people who disregard John Carpenter's film, The Fog as nonsense. Though the director himself denies and scoffs at such supernatural existences it's this doubt that make his films so credible. There is no tongue in cheek here; this is all played out as sincerely as Michael Myers getting up after being shot six times. During it's making Carpenter himself has to re-shoot certain scenes to spice up The Fog. Despite it's flaws John Carpenter's THE FOG (I hate it when they confuse it with the novel by James Herbert!) is a genuinely good modern ghost story. It concerns the spirits of long dead pirates that were led to their death by the inhabitants of a small coastal village, and now, exactly one century later it's time for retribution.

As always JC's score is simple but excellent, the cinematography fabricating the piece to be far more expensive than is its budget should allow and, despite inconsistencies in the script, this is another great film for fanatics of John Carpenter's works. Plus there are some great performances, especially by Carpenter's then wife, Adrienne Barbeau It might not be Assault on Precinct 13, Halloween, The Thing or Big Trouble in Little China, but is definitely worth analyses.

Omnibus: Whistle and I'll Come to You (1968) Season 1, Episode 17

Shiver inducing stuff!

[18 December 2003]

Spoilers Ahead...

Based upon the great novelist, M. R. James' short supernatural tale, Oh, Whistle, and I'll Come to You, My Lad, this early crafted BBC effort from director Jonathan Miller (director of many Shakespeare TV adaptations) still retains effectiveness today despite its lack of action. It is a character-based piece about the sexually repressed, pompous, prudish and introverted Professor Parkins (played wonderfully by Michael Hordern). During one of his ‘trudges' through the Norfolk dunes, he discovers a whistle on an ancient Templar burial ground. Disrespectfully he takes it back to his two-bedroom hotel for inspection. Disregarding the Latin inscription warning on the whistle, he blows it. Subsequently he suffers nightmares of an ominous figure following him through the dunes and begins hearing rustling in the empty bed opposite him. It all eerily culminates with an invisible figure reaching out for him from under the sheets. Whether or not it's all his twisted imagination or an actual haunting is subject for debating. ‘Do you believe in Ghosts?'

The lack of music and obscure use of dialogue emphasises our lead character's seclusion from the ‘real' world' and relates the viewer to him on a basic level; he mostly groans and moans opinions instead of speaking them coherently. A constant aura of unnerving atmosphere pervades the mere 40 minutes of this recently released BFI DVD, but without a doubt for lovers of the British supernatural this is definitely interesting viewing.

Prince of Darkness (1987)

Eerie

[11 November 2003]

I agree with regular J.C. actor Kurt Russell on a point he made about the director: If you want to make a cheap movie but make it look slick and expensive, Mr. Carpenter is your man. Like HALLOWEEN this was made for very little money but appears to have been made on a modest budget.

After the box office failure of the underrated Big Trouble in Little China, Carpenter left the studio system and returned to independent and horror filmmaking. The soundtrack is constant synth, the acting average, the tension constantly increasing and widescreen lens used to perfection, all combined scream Carpenter's name from the lengthy opening credits scene. PRINCE OF DARKNESS sits among the most eerie and interesting of Carpenter's work. Defects are it isn't very exciting and divulges a lot of unnecessary quantum physics jargon that seem pompous on the writer's behalf (sorry J.C. but 'Martin Quatermass'? your devotees know you love Nigel Kneale's work!). Despite a few scenes of action, which seem thrown in to gather momentum, the film just moves along.

Basically PRINCE OF DARKNESS combines ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 with THE THING. A character driven story concerning isolated individuals and one by one falling victim/possessed to/by an alien foe. Priest, Donald Pleasence (HALLOWEEN) hires University Professor, Victor Wong (Big Trouble in Little China) to investigate an ominous cylinder. The green ooze inside this cannister, hidden for centuries by the 'Brotherhood of Sleep', is the 'anti God' who will end the world if the secrets of its origin remain unsolved.

This is the second part in Carpenter's 'apocalypse trilogy' that began with THE THING and concluded with IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS. PRINCE OF DARKNESS is a must for all J.C. fans, but is the slowest of the trilogy.

Ghostwatch (1992 TV Movie)

It has power

[27 October 2003]

I was also one of the fortunate immature teens who saw Ghostwatch sitting alone on the sofa watching in 1992. Computer games awaited but better than average Saturday night quiz shows light entertainment cajoled me to stay rooted to the spot. I was looking forward to Hammer's/Terrence Fisher's Curse of the Werewolf that followed this 'Ghostwatch' program I was about to witness. This documentary/drama/horror/supernatural closed the curtains for the evening but I didn't turn off the light that night. I think it has something to do with the story development. It is revealed that this should be taken seriously and cleverly absorbs and you willingly go along. When the scares eventually occur you are totally disorientated and afraid. Images in Ghostwatch stay in your mind for hours afterward, the haunting Pipe's (true evil) revelation is typical Nigel Kneal, combined with the destruction of the family unit is absolutely terrifying. I got the DVD after all those years and now I'm convinced that the scare has something to do with periodic emotions. Those who saw it at a vulnerable age and wanted to be socialising more successfully than their older brothers or had dreams of being on where the best Halloween party of 1992 was being held got scared. Those socialites who were at those parties and heard the hype and saw Ghostwatch subsequently were less impressed. Why? Because they missed out on something that will never happen again. I say this because, depending on my emotional balance, sometimes I laugh hard at all the ham acting/sketchy dialogue and Parkenson, but sometimes when Pipes speaks, suddenly materialises and disappears I still find the experience unnerving. Only five films have made me feel like this: Demons (age 8), Ghostwatch (age 11), The Exorcist (age 13), Blair Witch Project (age 19) and Ringu (age 22).

Rawhead Rex (1986)

Read the short story

[20 September 2003]

The short story Rawhead Rex is a gory and stomach churning piece of literature appearing in Clive Barker's Books of Blood Volume 3. Reading it one sees the possibilities of a good old fashioned monster on the loose movie. Unfortunately, most of the graphic violence of the story is removed from the film that followed. Although many of the character details remain the same, except that the protagonist and his family are Londoners instead of Americans in the short story. The setting, score, a few actors and the occasional scare make the films worth seeing for true Clive Barker completists. Be warned, what does make the proceedings less alluring is the fact that Rawhead himself is a great disappointment; the direction somewhat poor and from a script by Barker himself I expected more. Not even in league with his superior Hellraiser, effective Candyman or intriguing Nightbreed. Though I must admit I must've seen this film about eight times since it was initially released.

Trivia note: The mother of the American Family is the actress who plays the nurse Joe Spinell skewers in Maniac.

Angel Heart (1987)

Once hated now loved

[19 September 2003]

Being totally honest the first time I saw Alan Parker's bone chilling Angel Heart I was not overwhelmingly impressed and found it slightly too sombre and stylish for its own good. Since then I have seen the light, or the masterpiece in the dark in this case, and can only put it down to a film that was ahead of its time. The 1950s setting absorbs you into the seedy world of New Orleons where Angel is hired to track down Johnny Favourite by the ominous entrepreneur, Cypher. The mood throughout is intense as we discover piece by piece what initially seemed like a typical Chandleresque story is in fact something more sinister. There is still a lingering sense constantly that not all is as it should be. And believe me it really isn't in this evocative combination of the supernatural and film noir. I found Rourke, in one of his better roles, believable as the confused and doomed detective and DeNiro's underused Mr. Cypher incredibly chilling. Unforgettable scenes include the infamous sex scene between Rourke and Bonet, DeNiro's infamous 'the egg is the soul' scene and the ending twist, that I found far more effective than those of alternate broody films such as The Sixth Sense or Fight Club. This is definitely not the sort of film you'd want to show at a family gathering.

Zombie (1979)

The father of many sequels

[7/10 · 19 September 2003]

It is common knowledge that Mr. Fulci made films that were compelled to replicate what was successful in the States at the time, but fair play, we're talking about the Italian film business, remember the flood of successful, sometimes more engaging Spaghetti Westerns in the 60s? I must give it to Lucio though, his most successful films (1979 – 1983) may never have surfaced if it were not for Romero's Dawn of the Dead, but they can and do stand alone without the Romero relations.

Ignoring the bad dubbing, unusual narrative development and some excessive gore, try remembering the good points within the film. For one, Fulci's worm infested zombies are far more hideous and terrifying than Romero's shambling poke 'em and they go down living dead. The score by Fulci regular, Fabio Frizzi is also more seedily effective, especially during the scene where the conquistadors rise from an ancient burial ground. An underwater battle between shark and zombie? The idea is so ludicrous but shot with such sincerity that it loses its comic effect and adds to the mystifying world of the film. There's also a good sweaty performance from Richard Johnson as the doctor struggling to discover the cause of the zombie takeover, reluctant to see anything but scientific causality. Which brings me to my final point, Zombie is more of a supernatural/folklore nightmare than the socially conscious Dawn of the Dead. Romero's great skill is making the impossible seem believable, and has never really explained the reason for why his dead return to life, refusing to resort to logic. In Zombie the fact is made clear Voodoo is the cause of the horror, making the film a more fantastical, and light-hearted, if repulsive undertaking.

If you enjoyed this then you might want to look at the flood of imitations that followed, Zombie Holocaust, Nights of Terror, Hell of the Living Dead, Nightmare City … etc.

The Howling (1981)

Listen to the critics, it's actually one of the best

[3 September 2003]

Yes! For a change in the horror genre this film does deserve all of the praise, hype, cult following and respect it receives, even from the critics. I would go so far as to even admit that I find this Joe (Gremlins, Innerspace, The 'burbs, Matinee, Small soldiers) Dante flick one of his best crafted works, followed by PIRANHA.

It's always been a toss up between THE HOWLING and AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON for the most effective lycanthropy picture of postmodern horror cinema (anything since Psycho). Where John Landis used comedy more blatantly, the humour in THE HOWLING is far more satirical and subversive. Undoubtedly, Rob Bottin's effects steal the show as well as they did for John Carpenter's THE THING. The transformation of Eddie Quist, especially on the revamped DVD is something to behold.

For anyone with a passing interest in the horror genre this is a film to include on that 'TO SEE' list. For fans of werewolf movies this should go on that 'MUST SEE' list.

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Don't be nasty

[20 August 2003]

A lot of people have called this the worst movie ever made, and even though it's a Texas Chainsaw Massacre ripp off, it not that bad. The direction is loaded with ingenuity, flipping from different film stocks and styles. When was the last time we saw a bunch of snotty kids and rooted for the bad guys? It has a great Last House on the Left feel, It seems the only thing every one actually agrees on is that the actress portraying Baby is absolutely stunning and, despite her deranged character, you just want her before Otis (Chop Top, from TCM 2) turns you into a 'fishboy'. The gore is not half as excessive as in The Dead Next Door, which was the last modern attempt to be faithful to the lost, scary cynical horror films of the 70s.

Fade to Black (1980)

Years before Scream

[21 July 2003]

Film within a film has always been an interesting concept, but Craven/Williamson threw it in your face. Years ago a film was made that wasn't just referrential to the horror medium but included all genres. Film echos include Killer's Kiss, White Heat, Dracula and the Mummy.

Film fanatic kills people who have offended him in ways that match his method of butchery.

Naked Lunch (1991)

On first viewing I had no idea

[7/10 · 9 July 2003]

Possible Spoilers Ahead...

I can't imagine anyone other than Cronenberg as director, Howard Sherman providing the score, Carol Spier designing the production and Peter Weller as the lead in the bizarre world of Naked Lunch. And I mean bizarre with a capital B!!!

The plot? Dear God, what can I say about the meandering plot? Bill Lee (Weller makes this role his own as he did with Robocop) is an ex-writer turned insect exterminator who gave up authorship as it was 'too dangerous'. After his wife entices him to inject his insecticide for a 'Kafka high' he begins hallucinating. Slowly he is dragged into a drug induced world as an 'operative' where he must write a 'report' on the incidents at Interzone, a North African Coastal enclave. Here, he encounters bug-like typewriters that speak through anus-like orifices and convince Bill that homosexuality is the best disguise for an 'agent' and 'Mugwumps' with phallic protrusions on their heads that ejaculated addictive seamen.

Naked Lunch is said to be a semi-biography combined with William Burroughs' literature, but it is also without a doubt, a David Cronenberg film. Interzone is the altered state that a character is taken to in both Videodrome and eXistenZ, fusing reality and hallucination to the point that the viewer cannot decipher which is which. As Bill states in the film, which may help follow the narrative of Naked Lunch - 'Exterminate all rational thought!' The arse story told by him at one point is of special interest to creativity. He tells the story of a man who teaches his anus to speak and soon he loses his own voice and becomes a bum. This maybe metaphorical for certain writers who create an inner voice to produce their art. Soon the all-more-important voice takes over and the writer becomes obsolete, as the child grows and the parent dies.

Beware the conclusion, Cronenberg frequently leaves his endings ambiguous, but the one in Naked Lunch is the most peculiar, but what more can you ask for after what has gone on during the previous 110 minutes?

Dead Ringers (1988)

Rings Disturbingly for Long Afterwards

[8/10 · 9 July 2003]

Possible Spoilers...

Not a horror film but one of the most disturbing and unsettling films from Canadian genius, David Cronenberg, Dead Ringers lingers in your mind long after viewing. For me it is still one of the most saddening and distressing films of the eighties.

The film opens with a red canvas displaying gynaecological instruments we later learn are for performing internal surgery on ‘mutant women'. Then we are introduced to the prepubescent Mantle twins and already they are interested in sexuality and female anatomy; they ask a young girl to have sex with them in their bath to prove results for an experiment. Then, years later, we see them receiving the Nobel Prize for the creation of a gynaecological instrument. They begin their own business and soon become the best gynaecologists in Canada. Success seems to be going very well for Elliot and Beverly Mantle (Jeremy Irons in a brilliant double role) who share everything, home, glory, emotions, experiences and women, until an actress client, Claire (Genevieve Bujold) sleeps with Elliot. Unaware there are twins she is oblivious to also having a relationship with Beverly, the timid twin. Unfortunately Beverly falls madly in love with Claire and when she discovers the deceit, she ousts Beverly leaving him a shivering, emotional wreck. After more turmoil in the trios' relationship, Beverly falls into a world of drugs and insanity, but as the twins share everything, Elliot slowly collapses into an identical state until it becomes difficult to distinguish them apart. The nightmarish and depressing conclusion has them trying to ‘separate' via self-surgery.

With some of the most underrated special effects ever, it is literally impossible to notice that there are effects when they twins share the frame togather. A film not for all tastes, but a must for fans of Cronenberg and the macabre, Dead Ringers is a supremely unnerving psychological drama.

Scanners (1981)

Cronenberg Literally Blows Your Mind

[6/10 · 9 July 2003]

Possible Spoilers Ahead...

If Shivers was primarily a horror film, Videodrome science fiction and The Dead Zone primarily a character-based film, then Scanners is Cronenberg's first action movie. That said, let us not forget that this also a Cronenberg film so includes some of his most famous themes, secret organisations, Scanners are the effect of scientific defect and the dread of an imminent apocalypse.

Cameron Vale (Stephen Lack) is a derelict who discovers the truth that he is one of the world's oldest and most powerful Scanners, a breed of human with the ability to tap into others people's nervous systems, allowing him to hear their thoughts, cause them seizures and make them hallucinate. Unfortunately, anther Scanner, the sinister Daryl Revok (Michael Ironside) wants to create more like himself and Vale and lead an unstoppable army of Scanners.

Scanners has many good ideas and great action sequences, but the real show stoppers are the scenes provided by Dick Smith's hand at special effects. The now infamous scene where Revok causes another man's head to explode is still as shocking today as it must've been in 1981. The final battle scene between Vale and Revok is another tour-de-force, once seen never forgotten.

The Brood (1979)

Cronenberg Grows

[7/10 · 9 July 2003]

A very personal film for Cronenberg who was going through a divorce during the time of its making, The Brood has all the Cronenbergian motifs, plus great characterisation and a great performance from all involved.

Dr. Raglan (Oliver Reed) who is experimenting with metaphysical rage runs the Summerfree Institute. There he encourages his patience to indulge in allowing their inner anger to materialise in warts and blisters on their body. One of his patience is the demented Nola (Samantha Eggar) who has taken Raglan's therapy to the next stage. Her rage is apparently so potent that it results in The Brood, a savage group of dwarfs that emerge from the cysts on Nola's body. Unfortunately, Nola has another child, Candy and when her ex-husband, Frank (Art Hindle) finds that his wife is too unstable to look after their child he suppresses parental access. Nola goes even more insane and the brood ventures out to kill all those she believes have or may cause her harm. Although the carnage isn't excessively violent, the scene where Nola produces one of the dwarfs from a bloody sack and licks it clean leaves a nasty aftertaste.

Cronenberg has long been associated with fear of biological change, but is surprising that not many have picked up on his fascination, or dread of organisations. There's the Starliner Towers (Shivers), Keloid Clinic (Rabid), Summerfree Institute (The Brood), ConSec (Scanners), Spectacular Optical (Videodrome), Bartok Industries (The Fly), The Mantle Clinic (Dead Ringers), PildrImage Manufacturers (eXsistenZ).

Rabid (1977)

Hear the one about a woman with a vampire snake in her armpit?

[7/10 · 9 July 2003]

Cronenberg's second film is almost an extension of the premise created in his earlier Shivers. However this time the infectious disease is no longer confined to one building, but is quickly spreading across an apocalyptic Montreal transforming its victims into rabid homicidal maniacs. The raison d'être for this retelling of the vampire tale begins with Rose (Marilyn Chambers in her only legitimate role) receiving unorthodox skin grafts after a motorcycle accident. When she awakes after a month in a comma Rose has grown a phallic vampiric organ in her armpit. She uses it to drain a blood from her victims causing the aforementioned rabies-like disease.

Once again we see Cronenberg's obsession with science and its effect causing bodily and social change. Rabid maybe an underrated film when seen against its contemporary horror films, but at the time received a lot of attention from the exploitation crowd for in the inclusion of porn actress, Chambers.

Shivers (1975)

Where Romero left off, Cronenberg took over

[5/10 · 9 July 2003]

Cronenberg's first feature is similar in many ways to George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead but it is fuelled with Cronenbergian imagery and themes that would improve with each of his subsequent films. And where Romero's films are slightly more optimistic (humans learning to deal a zombie apocalypse), Cronenberg's Shivers and Rabid are, like many of his following films, pessimistic and nihilistic offering no catharsis for the viewer.

The plot concerns a bunch of people living in the futuristic Starliner Towers who, one by one, become victims to an infectious disease that cause them to become savage sex maniacs, raping and infecting anyone in sight. As always Cronenberg provides a logical solution for the horror, this time genetically engineered parasites are created to substitute for damaged or cancerous internal organs. As this is a Cronenberg movie it is never rewarding to experiment with science and unsurprisingly it all turns very nasty. Especially as there is no return to normality at the sombre conclusion as the infected drive from the Starliner Tower and into the night to infect the masses of Canada.

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Another Bloody Slasher

[2 July 2003]

SPOILERS AHEAD...

Another Slasher film from the early eighties, but thankfully with the new claustrophobic setting of a small, bleak mining community this one packs extra atmosphere and a genuine sense of creepiness.

When the mentioned town decide to have their first Valentine dance in twenty years a killer in overalls and mining mask, blinding torch attached to his helmet appears and stalks the streets with a pickaxe. After killing his prey he places their hearts in gift boxes and sends them to potential victims. Apparently the killer is the only survivor of a mining accident that could've been avoided if the town's folk weren't overindulging in the Valentine's dance at the time. Eventually we discover that the killer is not the aforementioned survivor but the disturbed son of one of the first victims.

A lot of time is given to characterisation in My Bloody Valentine, but the majority of the cast are too inept to deal with the material. It is unusual not to have the slasher film set in academia, but this doesn't prevent the characters from drinking, having sex and doing drugs, hence setting themselves up for the killer.

Unfortunately the full uncut version of this film remains quite a difficult find.

Hell Night (1981)

Another Slasher on the pile

[2 July 2003]

SPOILERS AHEAD...

Better than average slasher film with lots of plot holes, cheesy direction from De Simone (usual porn and exploitation director) and the occasional unintentionally comic scene.

The story concerns four pledges, including Marty (Linda Blaire) who must spend their evening in the foreboding Garth Manor. This small group is unaware that members of the fraternity have sneaked onto the grounds to scare them. Unknown to the pranksters is that two deformed murderers are also loose on the grounds.

Irwin Yablans, responsible for producing Carpenter's Halloween (1978), among other low budget exploitation movies delivered Hell Night. It is an effective, if somewhat confusing towards the climax, cheap little slasher. The performances are quite decent when compared to minor films of the period. The gothic setting, unusual costumes and interesting cinematography all add to make this combination of Animal House and Halloween a better example of the genre.

The Burning (1981)

Not as bad as they say...

[2 July 2003]

... if you love 80s slashers

SPOILERS AHEAD

This slice of stalk ‘n' slash, obviously inspired by Friday the 13th (1980) always separates fans of the genre. Some love it for its gore (Tom Savini responsible once again) and the creepy homicidal Cropsy character, others hate it for Rick Wakeman's persistent score and the immature behaviour of the teenagers. I for one find nothing wrong with these factors, the only problem I have with The Burning is that it has dated quite badly, otherwise this is a good stereotypical Slasher in the woods.

Cropsy, the camp caretaker is terribly burnt and scarred by a bunch of teens whose prank goes horribly wrong. After many unsuccessful skin grafts he decides to return to the comp and kill of as many promiscuous teens and counsellors as possible. The film is filled with nudity, teenage jargon and the now overused killer's p.o.v shots. A notable point of interest is that we're provided with a surviving virgin male instead of the typical female.

The film was banned as a video nasty in Britain and as only recently released uncut. The main scene that caused offence involved a canoe load of kids being graphically butchered by Cropsy with garden shears, one even has his fingers snipped off in the film's most shocking scene.

This is among the first films from now hotshot producers Bob and Harvey Weintein and their Miramax production company. Also this was an early effort from Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens and Holly Hunter (in a blink and you'll miss her role.

Night School (1981)

Another unnecessary Slasher

[1 July 2003]

SPOILERS AHEAD...

From the director of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968), comes this less than average slasher film loaded with bad acting from a misused cast, squirm in your seat dialogue and some strangely overlit cinematography.

This ‘stalk ‘n' slash' film belong to the killer-on-campus/high school subgenre, such Prom Night, Graduation Day, Final Exam, House on Sorority Row and The Dorm that Dripped Blood. The story concerns a promiscuous professor (Drew Snyder) sleeping with his female students whilst his jealous partner (Rachel Ward), clad in biker black leathers, corners them alone and decapitates them. It transpires that she is pregnant and chooses to follow an ancient tribal right and remove all temptation from her man's life. Highlights include a tense scene involving a decapitated head in a restaurant stew, a half clad woman chased around a shower room being hacked at and painting the walls red and a bizarre scene involving the professor rubbing red dye over the killer's naked body.

As much as a lot of people believe the comic relief banter between the two detectives (Leanard Mann and Joseph Sicari) distracting and irritating, I actually found it a plus factor. Some of their dialogue is just so irrelevant and asinine that one cannot help laugh at their buffoonery.

Surprisingly all this misogyny was written by a woman.

Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

Slasher with Extra Cheese

[1 July 2003]

SPOILERS AHEAD...

An addition to the anniversary slasher film, where all horrific events occur during a specific date e.g. Black Christmas (1974), Halloween (1978), Friday the 13th (1980), New Year's Evil (1980 and My Bloody Valentine (1981).

Happy Birthday to Me stars Little House on the Prairie's Melissa Sue Anderson as the troubled teenager whose friend' dead bodies are piling up around her. It is very strange that no one in the film seems to notice, or really care about kid's disappearances except the head of the high school, who believes that it is all an immature prank. The meandering plot has Melissa as both prime victim and suspect involved with some gruesome murders. The death sequences in this Slasher are more brutal than usual. One teenager has his face pushed into the rotating wheel of a motorcycle, one has his head smashed with weightlifting apparatus and another has his head skewered via shish kebab … etc. Unfortunately, the killer's farfetched revelation really insults the viewer's intelligence because it is too implausible. Apparently Melissa's best friend killed the teenagers disguised as her in an elaborate revenge scheme.

With a higher budget than the average slashers of the period, the cinematography and lighting are better than usual, however money is also wasted on way too many fake scares, silly inconsequential attempts at humour, an intricate plot that the cast sadly cannot pull off and a distracting score. That said, it is difficult to truly dismiss Happy Birthday to Me because it does try to be inventive and there are hundreds of worse slashers out there.

He Knows You're Alone (1980)

You Know He's A Michael Myers Wannabe

[1 July 2003]

SPOILERS AHEAD...

This early eighties slasher gets the first prize award for plagiarising John Carpenter's Halloween (1978), all the situations, age groups, clichés, even the synthesiser music is similar to Carpenter's superior movie.

The opening of He Knows You're Alone is the best part of the film, later given homage in the opening scenes of Scream 2. The film opens within the film playing at the local cinema, a horror film involving the urban legend of the Hook and two promiscuous teenagers parked in Lover's Lane. One of a pair of teenage girls in the cinema believes someone is following her before being stabbed through the back of her chair. The following 80 minutes is basically the same old same old. Replacing Doctor Loomis' character is a Detective whose bride-to-be was murdered by her ex (the killer) the day before their wedding. Hence, this time around the killer is only interested in butchering soon-to-be-wed females. Anyway, the film plods along with a brief appearance from a very young Tom Hanks until we reach the unsatisfactory conclusion with the killer being arrested. No Michael, Jason or Freddy here, folks! Interestingly, the film does spin off a nice little twist at the end, but I won't spoil it for you.

The plot is clumsy, the acting mediocre at best, and the continuous close ups of the killers eyes gets tired early. On the slim plus side, there are a few tense moments here and there, but nothing so extravagant to raise this slasher (already by this point an overworked genre) to the heights on the films it tries to imitate.

Armand Mastoianni later added another two horror additions to his résumé - The Supernaturals (1986) and Cameron's Closet (1988).