Change Your Image
n1815
Reviews
Moving McAllister (2007)
Kill Me
If only the writer/producer/"star" had the slightest inkling of the limits of his acting range, and the way he is perceived on-screen (wearing glasses and a side-parting is not enough to make you look gawky and quirky if your face and teeth have been sculpted by various medical professionals to conform to American ideals of generic, characterless symmetry, erroneously perceived as beauty in this obsessively superficial society) he would have cast John Heder as the main character instead of attempting to pull a Good-Will-Hunting and create a vehicle to showcase his... his... well, himself.
The excellent supporting cast (Lord knows, they must be having problems to agree to this) is wasted in an agonising perpetual struggle to react convincingly to a main character incapable of delivering even the simplest line with appropriate intonation, and believe me, he is not short of simple lines to choose from, as the dialogue appears to have been composed by a five-year-old. Ah wait... it's the same person pretending to be a writer as pretending to be an actor. It's not often that I don't see a film through to the end, but this ejaculation was irredeemable from the outset and showed no signs of improving after the first hour. Excrement.
Shrooms (2007)
Reefer Madness
Our Transatlantic puritanical fundaMentalist Judaeo-Christian cousins (at least once removed) strike again, with yet another fear-mongering propagandist defecation.
This time, they are feebly attempting to turn our hearts and minds against the psychedelic mushroom, and all those who indulge in such practises of course, by suggesting that anyone (even an cloying, incessantly altruistic, All American teenage virgin cheerleader-stereotype) can become a psychotic sadistic murderer overnight after ingesting a single "Death cap" mushroom (not even a psychedelic strain: merely a poisonous lookalike).
This moronic "update" of Reefer Madness, shamelessly and inappropriately steals several visual scenes from the infinitely more intelligent classic, Jacob's Ladder, which remains the only genuinely frightening film of this ilk, in my opinion.
Ah, why am I even bothering. I had better things to do than watch this stool, never mind describe it to you, who is obviously even now contemplating wasting the best part of two hours on this drivel. OK, if you want to see trippy visuals, this is not the film for you: watch Fear and Loathing again, or google "optical illusion". This is nothing more than anti-drug propaganda, badly-made on a shoestring, directed and acted by people who have never even seen someone on (or apparently met anyone who has ever taken) psychedelics.