dr_mario_rules Reviews

American Dreamz (2006)

Mady Moore now has two brilliant satires under her belt

[8/10 · 19 January 2008]

American Dreamz Mandy Moore now has two brilliant satires under her belt.

Dafoe compared to Dick Cheney Paul Weitz teams up with Dennis Quaid again after his under-rated film, In Good Company.

Imagine a world where the president never reads the newspaper, where the government goes to war for all the wrong reasons, and where more people vote for the next pop idol then the next president. I don't think that idea is far off.

President Stanton (Quaid), hasn't looked at a newspaper in four years, on the morning of his re-election he finally looks at one at gets a sudden re-awakening. To re-examine his world-view he locks himself in his room for several weeks. His Chief of Staff (Dafoe), believing he is going cuckoo-bananas, gives him "happy pills" and books him on the hottest show know to man, American Ido... I mean Dreamz.

Dennis Quaid plays the president with an eerie Texas accent, his impersonation of Bush's voice was flawless in my opinion. One of his best comedic roles in my opinion. He gives us a lot of funny moments just by making us think "How could we elect such a dumb-ass for a president?..... Oh yeah, him." William Dafoe plays a flawless obvious impersonation of Dick Cheney, I was waiting for him to shoot Hugh Grant in the face. Just a great hairdo, (picture above.) Hugh Grant plays Martin Tweed a reality show host, an obvious impersonation of Simon Cowell. He really had me immersed in his role.

Mandy Moore plays Sally Kendoo an inspiring singer on the show American Dreamz. She is much better in this satire then in her other one, Saved! She reminded me of a Britney Spears type teen princess. Proving she can be an actress as well as a singer.

Sam Golzari plays Omer, a terrorist who moves to America and lives with his cousin who only dreams of being on American Dreamz. When Omer is picked for American Dreamz, not his cousin, his old terrorist buddies want him to bomb the finale of the show where the President will be.

I loved this movie, although despite a very good script written by Paul himself and a great ensemble cast, during some scenes, I felt like I was in a bad spoof. Also, I hated the ending of this movie.

Teacher's Pet (2004)

Possibly the most under-rated Disney movie,

[7/10 · 19 January 2008]

Timothy Björklund gives us a complete box-office flop of a Disney movie.

Our story follows Spot the dog on his adventure to become a boy. This time, in feature-length form, he travels to California to visit the sane (he swears) Dr. Ivan Krank, who says he can turn any animal human.

Nathan Lane plays Spot Helperman or Scott Leadready II when he dresses up like a boy. I love Nathan Lane's voice acting, he was great in the Lion King, and is great in this, no complaints.

Shaun Flemming plays Leonard Amadeus Helperman, Spot's owner and best friend. His voice acting is done well enough, not as great as Nathan Lane's, but nothing terrible.

Kelsey Grammar plays the SANE Dr. Ivan Krank, a scientist who has developed a very inept way of transforming animals to humans. Kelsey Grammar has fine voice acting, probably from his experience as Sideshow Bob on the hit series The Simpsons.

I have no complaints about this movie, it was well crafted, pretty well drawn, and I don't see why it wasn't a hit. Two big things kind of bothered me though, for one I hate Debra Jo Rupp's voice, I find her annoying! Second, the way the animators drew people kind of make them look creepy.

Spider-Man 2 (2004)

The Rare Sequel the Passes the Original

[9/10 · 19 January 2008]

Sam Raimi gives us the second part of his Spider-Man series.

Our story follows Peter as a struggling college student, juggling his job, class, friends, and being Spider-Man. Peter finally meets his idol Doctor Octavius who invites him to a new fusion reactor experiment they are going to do the next day. At that experiment he puts eight tentacles on him and the fusion reactor erupts and pulls a lot of stuff off the wall, killing his wife Rosie and fusing the tentacles to him and they take over his mind and becomes evil.

Tobey McGuire returns to the role that made him a star, Peter Parker. He plays a very good geek and an unconventional hero. Although he lays a bit on the cheese factors on time.

Kirsten Dunst plays Mary Jane Watson, the girl Peter's been crushing on. She plays her role very nicely, I do have one problem, she gets mad at him and breaks up her friendship with Pete for the weirdest reason.

Alfred Molina is one of my favorite actors from Raiders of the Lost Ark to The Hoax, no slip ups on his performance, he almost made me sympathize with him.

James Franco is easily the worst in this movie, a major on the cheese factor. The one good thing about his character is that he has an awesome ending.

I liked this movie, the special effects were awesome (well-deserved Oscar,) the only problem I had was the acting and them putting on the cheese.

Office Space (1999)

Mike Judge delivers his comedic skills in a great movie.

[9/10 · 16 January 2008]

I have never worked in a cubicle, and I will never, now! Ron Livingston stars in this hilarious comedy about working in an office, as Peter Gibbons. Others with him include Jennifer Aniston as Joanna, Peter's girlfriend. David Herman as Micheal Bolton, (no relation) a frustrated worker. Finally, Ajay Naidu as Samir Nagheenanajar, another frustrated worker at the dreaded Initech.

Ron hates his job and is trying to work things out with his 1st girlfriend Anne at a counselor, but when the counselor dies in front of him, just as he is put in a state of complete bliss. He realizes he must make the most out of his time on this Earth. So he skips his job and ignores his boss. Meanwhile, Anne dumps him and admits she's been cheating on him. That day Peter gets enough confidence to ask the waiter at his favorite restaurant out, Joanna and she says yes. Right after the lunch with her he goes to his job to get his address book. While he is there, Intech decides to downsize and interview people. They decide to fire Micheal Bolton and Samir Nagheenanajar but give Peter a promotion. Angry about this, the three use a virus to steal money from Intech.

I loved this movie, I as a matter of fact love all of Mike Judge's work, from King of the Hill to The Animation Show, although I hate Beavis and Butthead. I only had one problem with this movie, I thought the soundtrack sucked, what was with the rap music?

Fargo (1996)

Great, now wood chippers are ruined for me (minor spoiler)

[10/10 · 16 January 2008]

Joel Coen gives us God's second son, a movie named Fargo.

William H. Macy gives us a first (and not the last, I'm sure) Oscar nominated performance as Jerry Lundegaard, a car salesman at his father-in-law's dealership. He also, for reasons unknown, is in debt. Instead of asking his wealthy father-in-law, he hires two goons, Carl Showalter (played by Steve Buscemi, whose Oscar nomination is hiding somewhere,) and Gaear Grimsrud (played eerily by Peter Stormare,) to kidnap his wife, and split the ransom with him. After Gaear and Carl kidnap Jerry's wife, a cop pulls them over for having no tags on the car, only DLR plates, that Jerry gave them. When the cop asks Carl to step out of the car, Gaer blows the cop's brains out, then kills two witnesses who were just driving by. Now, pregnant police Chief Marge Gunderson is on the case.

I loved this film, but it did one of my pet peeves in a movie, introduces an unnecessary character, Mike Yanagita, I really didn't see why he was necessary.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Finally, a good new horror movie!

[7/10 · 16 January 2008]

Pre-300 Zack Snyder still delivers excellent effects and blood.

Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber, Meki Phifer, Ty Burrell, Micheal Kelly, and Kevin Zegers all star good enough for a horror movie, (but, sadly Meki Phifer's character was just basically a stereotypical street gang member, who has no regard for anyone's health besides him and his family,) as people stuck in a mall, trying to wait out zombies from a mysterious disease.

I am not a Romero fan, so I never saw the original, but with a remake like this with beautiful zombie kills, and the best special effects I have seen in a long time, and the best special features I want to see it now. I must only give this movie a 4.5 because, I kept thinking, why don't the zombies starve, suspecting that this took over about a month.

Misery (1990)

Great, Fargo made my body cringe; now Anne just made my legs feel funny.

[10/10 · 16 January 2008]

Rob Reiner's first entry into the horror genre, is one of his best.

Kathy Bates (why do all bad people have that last name,) gives an Oscar-nominated performance as Anne Wilkes, Paul Sheldon's (played by Godfather alumni, James Caan,) number one fan. When Paul crashes his car on the side of the road and Anne finds him, and nurses him back to health. But, when she reads his new book in which her favorite character dies, he would be lucky to get out, alive.

Kathy Bates really shines in this movie, arguably the best performance of her career; her mood swings are genuinely freighting. James Caan's acting is terrific but really out-shined by Kathy, I especially loved when he tried to escape, I really felt for him. As always, Meathead's (a.k.a. Rob Reiner) directing is one of the best out there. A can't miss horror movie.

The Princess Bride (1987)

Very over-rated in my humble opinion

[6/10 · 16 January 2008]

Peter Falk gives my favorite performance of his as the Grandfather who reads to his sick grandson, (played by Fred Savage, who gives an on and off cheesy performance) a book about a farm boy Westley (played by Carl Elwes, in his best performance,) who falls in love with a beautiful girl named Buttercup. To find his fortune over sea and his killed by pirates. Buttercup must now marry prince Humperdink (played by Chris Sarandon in my least favorite performance,) but days before the wedding she is captured by three me and later is saved by a man in black who turns out to be Westley.

OK, I didn't like this movie, for one I am a huge Chris Sarandon fan, I loved him in Child's Play, Nightmare Before Christmas, even in Bordello of Blood, but his role in this never really had me going. Another performance was Fred Savage, although a minor role, it too didn't have me going either. The final thing, which really got me, was for being a Rob Reiner movie, some shots looked very cheap and very amateur. I am not going to deny it, I loved the scene with Billy Crystal, and it is the best film with a wrestler in it.

The Kingdom (2007)

No Syriana.

[7/10 · 16 January 2008]

Peter Berg gives us a film, at which I laugh when people compare it to Syriana.

Our story starts with stereotypical terrorists bombing an American Facility in the Middle East. Now, Agent Fleury (played by major summer movie alum, Jamie Foxx,) and his team to investigate (played by Jennifer Garner, who goes Alias on terrorist ass, Jason Bateman, who really did no shooting, no killing, he was just kind of there, but a funny there, and finally Chris Cooper, who gives a performance that is the highlight of the movie acting wise.) Also, there is a Saudi man who teams up with the FBI agents, which creates a true odd couple.

All stereotypes aside, this movie was just good fun, I LOVED the action scene, and Jennifer Garner's terrorist beating up scene was awesome. Beautiful action film, I hope it gets best stunt ensemble, but I don't think it will. I must give this a 3.5 because I am all for shaking the camera in action scenes, but not when they are talking, and as stated before the Saudi terrorists are stereotyped.

Don't go into serious, okay?

High School Musical (2006 TV Movie)

Is there a synonym for, I wanted to shoot the cast and myself in the head?

[2/10 · 16 January 2008]

Walt Disney should come back, Terminator style and get vengeance As for this plot, which really had a one-in-a-bazillion of happening in real life, (just saying,) A very Homo-sexual* looking man (just saying' in case you know, a certain magazine, publishes a certain magazine, that says a certain thing,) named Troy, (played by Zac Efron, who is the best singer in this. Not a big accomplishment.) Falls for a girl named Gabriella Montez (played by Vanessa Hudgens, who I only like one picture of her, but I'll be banned for posting it ,) at a random New Years Eve party, a million miles away. Then, a couple of days, a new girl comes to his school, it's her, and very unrealistic plot pursues.

This movie's acting is cringe-worthy, especially the "status queue" song. I will not give this movie a zero, because Zac Efron can actually sing (as seen in Hairspray,) and the girls, whom I just used as pure eye candy.) *Not that there is anything wrong with it.

Tommy (1975)

The alternative to drugs

[8/10 · 16 January 2008]

Ken Russell delivers a psychedelic rock opera.

That's right, this opera I think made me high, I kept seeing colors, I forgot what most of this film was about, I put on the Teletubbies and LAUGHED! OK, not really but this movie was very psychedelic, the colors are awesome, the singing is awesome (especially from Jack Nicholson, but if it's a voice over…) I loved the direction, The acid queen bit was awesome.

This film is only a 8/10 because, the plot was hard to follow sometimes, and the side story with Sally Simpson, I thought was totally unnecessary, and didn't like it.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Just phenomenal

[10/10 · 16 January 2008]

That's right, this film is so amazing, it doesn't need to stand behind a flashy tag line in a review. this film can speak for itself, Frank Darabont's true masterpiece.

Tim Robbins gives an Oscar-gypt'd performance as Andy Dufresne, an upstanding banker, framed for murder and sentenced to two life terms. There he meets Red (played by the immortal Mr. Morgan Freeman, who gives us the best voice-overs in movie history.) In prison, Dufresne becomes well known with the inmates for his courage, after being raped basically everyday for a month, and hope that the justice system will see him through.

This film is a true masterpiece that can only come from years in the movie business, but Frank had close to none. He had only done two films before that weren't very good, I guess this proves what you can do with raw talent today.

Hairspray (2007)

One of the best stage adaptations out there

[8/10 · 6 January 2008]

I never saw Hairspray on stage but I now wish I had.

I saw the original film, I thought it was a true delight from Lake's performance to Stiller's. This movie is officially revived.

Newcomer Nikki Blonsky plays Tracy Turnblad, a Baltimore girl in the 60s who dreams on being on the local "Corny Collins show", she can dance very well and has a fantastic singing voice, but she is not skinny or pretty by regular standards. John Travolta, who dresses in drag, plays Edna Turnblad, Tracy's mother, immediately shoots down her dreams because she doesn't want her to get hurt. After a failed audition to Velma Von Tussle (played by, Tracy thinks her dreams are over. Then Corny Collins (played by James Marsden, who has a wonderful singing voice, and is funny) hosts Tracy's school dance, where she impresses him, she gets on the show. Velma isn't happy because she is ugly* and supports "Negro day" There is also, another thing in here that I consider a sub-plot about racism, which beautifully blends in with Tracy's dreams. On the "Corny Collins show" there is a "Negro day", Velma hates it, and is very racist (as most people were in the 60s.) When Velma cancels "Negro day" all of the people on there protest, including Tracy.

I loved this film, the cameos where fun, (especially John Waters') except for one thing, a bunch of wasted opportunities. I really wanted Amanda Bynes to sing more, and a song for when Allison Janney was correcting her daughter would have been cool.

The Evil Dead (1981)

The Evil are very gory when they are Dead

[10/10 · 6 January 2008]

Sam Rami gives us a gory good time in his first, feature-length film.

Cult-favorite Bruce Campbell gives the performance of his career as Ash Williams, also starring are Ellen Sandweiss, who plays the best deadite, as Sheryl. To round out the cast are Hal Delrich playing Scott, Theresa Tilly playing Shelly, and Betsy Baker as Linda, Ash's girlfriend.

These five teens go to a cabin for a weekend getaway that Scott bought cheap (Gee, I wonder why?) But while exploring the cabin's basement with Ash, they find three objects, a shotgun, a tape recorder, and an ancient book bound in flesh and written in blood. Yeah, that's a good sign. Well, in true dumb teen fashion, they play the tape, which makes something evil come from the woods. Later that day Cheryl decides to check something outside, she thought she saw. But when the trees rape her. Yes, rape, I know. The evil manifests in her, and she becomes a deadite, now Ash must fight off his friends and sister who are becoming deadites, one by one.

I must give this film a ten because it has a great premise. Great gore. Great special effects. Great everything. Best horror movie ever made!

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Kubrick's TRUE masterpiece

[10/10 · 6 January 2008]

A Clockwork Orange is, to put it simply, one of the scariest movies ever made. I know a lot of people like Dr. Strangelove, but I must say this is one of the best films ever made.

Malcom McDowell gives an Oscar-gypt'd performance as Alex de Large who, with his droogs, go out, rape, beat, and kill many people. When, Alex finds his droogs making plans about robbing a dairy behind his back, he feels threatened but go along with their plan. Then he attacks his droogs as they walk down a pier, saying that the sound of Beethoven from a passing car inspired his violence. We see them in a restaurant and Alex once again brings up the dairy robbery plan. At the dairy they try to convince the rich lady at the dairy to let her in but she gets suspicious and calls the police. When the cops arrive, Alex's droogs betray him, knock him out, and run. To shorten his sentence Alex agrees to "aversion therapy" which seems to change him, or does it? Rounding out the cast are Patrick Magee, Michael Bates, Warren Clarke, and John Clive.

I wish I could give this film a 6 out of 5 just for a revolutionary, directorial look, where Kubrick has many bad scenes accompanied by jolly music; where if we are to experience them as we should, we have to do it consciously, by realizing they are bad, and not because the director tells us so through the use of music and images. Just a terrific movie.

30 Days of Night (2007)

Nights are very dark in 30 Days

[8/10 · 30 December 2007]

David Slade gives us a dark, depressing film that rivals the darkness of Tim Burton's original Batman, based on Steve Niles phenomenal graphic novel.

Our story is about the town of Barrow, Alaska preparing for their annual 30 Days of Night, where the sun won't come out for, you guessed it 30 days. But, when a stranger (very well played by Ben Foster) comes and sabotages the town,. Vampires start attacking, they are in some deep trouble.

I must vote this movie only and "8/10" because despite a great premise, great looking vampire, and more blood then Dracula can drink, the only thing that brought this film down was the fact that most of the vampires (besides it leader) only shrieked, that really annoyed me. All shrieks aside, this film made me feel like a vampire in a blood bank.

Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)

Simon says, go rent this movie

[9/10 · 29 December 2007]

John McTiernan returns to his Die Hard fame in the 3rd film of the series.

Bruce Willis is back as John McClane the cop with a major attitude. He is on suspension, but when a madman who goes by the name "Simon", blows up a truck on a New York sidewalk, he is called back into action. Simon gives McClane objectives and riddles to solve, or else he blows up more building, including a school. With the help of a black shopkeeper (played by the always awesome Sam Jackson) John must save New York yet again.

What can I say about this movie? Jeremy Irons, (who brilliantly plays Simon) rivals the acting of Mr. Alan Rickman in the original Die Hard. The explosions look and sound awesome. This really revives the series.I must only give this a 9 out of 10 because, they got rid of McClane's wife, I really liked that character and it could have added more comedic possibilities.

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)

Forget the original, and watch this

[7/10 · 29 December 2007]

Jean-François Richet gives us a modern update to John Carpenter's original film, which besides similar plots and names, really have nothing in common.

Laurence Fishburne dominates the screen as a cop killer, Marion Bishop, who is arrested and put on a bus to go to a prison, but when the bus almost breaks down because of a New Years Eve blizzard, they are forced to stay at Precinct 13, which is closing down in a couple of days and only has 3 officers working the shift. Those three officers are Sgt. Joe Roenick, who has a troubled past (played nicely by Ethan Hawke, who also dominates the screen.) Sgt. Jasper O'Shea, who is retiring the next day, (very well played by Brian Dennehy.) Also, a very hot officer, Iris Ferry (played by Drea de Matteo.) A civilian with the officers is Roenick's therapist, Dr. Alex Sabian (who had some major on and off acting moments by Maria Bello) to talk about Roenick's dark past.

Also, there are 3 other prisoners on the bus with Bishop played named Beck (played by John Leguizamo, who has some major on and off moments of acting in this.) Smiley (horribly played by Ja Rule) who is really the weakest link in this movie. Also, there is Anna (another on and off performance by Aisha Hinds.) But when corrupt cops try to break in to the precinct in order to execute Bishop because they have a corrupt deal with him and don't want him talking, Sgt. Roenick must arm the prisoners to survive the night.

This movie was entertaining for the most part, but only a 7 out of 10 because of two major reasons. The first reason is all the prisoners acting (besides Fishburne) are very stereotyped and have horrible acting skills that really brought it down to an 8/10. Also, there are a lot of things in the movie that doesn't make sense (all I can think of contain spoilers so I can't say.)

Die Hard (1988)

If MacGyver shot steroids and cursed more often, he would be John McClane

[9/10 · 27 December 2007]

John McTiernan gives us another great film coming off Predator.

Meet John McClane, A New York cop (played by Bruce Willis in his best role ever) who is smart, witty, and angry that he is trapped in his estranged wife's Christmas party, but when terrorists take over, he does one thing he does best, KILL.

Die Hard is arguably the best action movie ever made, from it's hero to it's villain ( the brilliant Mr. Alan Rickman in his film debut,) to it's now famous explosions. All though, I must only give this a 9 out of 10 because I just hated the FBI agents Johnson's (both of them), I thought they brought the movie down a notch.

Juno (2007)

Jason Reitman has delivered a winning indie,

[8/10 · 26 December 2007]

Jason Reitman, (who gave us one of my favorite satires of all-time "Thank You for Smoking") directs a very different comedy, about teenage pregnancy.

Ellen Page is Juno, who just found out that her pregnancy test isn't an etch-a-sketch and that she really is pregnant. Page easily delivers the best performance of the movie and just maybe the year. Fresh off from Superbad, Micheal Cera is also Oscar-worthy as Paulie Bleeker, the best friend to Juno, and is also the future dad of Juno Jr. Previous The Kingdom stars Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman play as the Lorings, the young, educated and some-what creepy couple that wants to adopt Juno's future baby, are also played very well.

I must only give this 8 out of 10 because of two major factors, despite phenomenal dialogue written by stripper to blogger to screenwriter Diablo Cody, I thought that she didn't write enough lines for Juno's dad, Mac MacGruff (brilliantly played by J.K. Simmons.) Also, I think this might have just have been me but Page and Bateman's relationship on screen just creeped me out.

The Golden Compass (2007)

""Get the girl right where we want her and wait two seconds to get mauled by a bear." – Magisterium solider motto

[5/10 · 8 December 2007]

OK, not really, but one must wonder at these soldiers stupidity in this movie. Is it wrong that I wanted the bear to kill everyone? Is it bad that I wanted the little girl to die after 5 close but no cigar times of getting killed? Well, then I am more wrong then a man in a dress running down Highway 40.

Our little epic tale starts as many others, a poor child (this time it is a girl named Lyra,) is running from a group of kids for no clear reason, besides they want her friend. Where she threatens their leader who pulls a bipolar and becomes happy after getting threatened (with a poison robe?! Oh god, not that!) So, Lyra (adequately played by newcomer Dakota Blue Richards) attempts to steal a robe in Jordan College, where she is an orphan living and studying there. Then, she sees a secret meeting (Orphans always get into some huge trouble), where by some weird, weird events, out all these two important men can talk about, they talk about her uncle (god, coincidences are lucky!) So, they poison his drink because he is a free thinker (Oh god, out of all the horrible things, not that!) Well, they make their first no-cigar kill attempt after she pops out of the closet in the nick of time to save her un-surprised uncle Azriel (played by the smart and buff Daniel Craig) from certain doom. So, after a magical dust talk (oh yeah, apparently dust controls the universe or something like that, hey it just controls my asthma.) We get to food where a Heepy (hot AND creepy) Mrs. Coulter (played by Mrs. Nicole Kidman)invites Lyra on a magical trip to the North! But, right before the get in her ship; she is given the Golden Compass or the "altheometer" which tells the truth, and two of her friends are kidnapped! Will she save her friends? Will Mrs. Coulter get the compass? Will Chris Weitz get lucky and direct a sequel where I have to sit through 100+ minutes to finally get the bear on bear action I was promised?! Watch this movie and find out! To round this up, this movie has good FX and OK acting