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jmschau
Reviews
Charlotte's Web (2006)
Taking the storyline as a given, this movie was done about as well as it could have been.
I tend to be overly critical of movies, but this is the rare film that, even a week later, I still can't think of one nit to pick. Well, maybe one. All the voices of the many animals had character except one - the spider, voiced by Julia Roberts. Her voice lacked the interest that the others did. But that was minor. The little girl was a doll and the adults were not portrayed as dolts, which is a refreshing change. It's not a great movie in the context of film history, but I'm giving it a 10 because if you're looking for a kids movie, they don't get much better.
You may ignore the rest of this summary because I've been confounded by the system that requires I type at least 10 lines. I guess the system does not hold brevity dear. I'll submit it again. Hope I've rambled on long enough.
Jersey Girl (2004)
For most of this movie, I just leaned back, closed my eyes, and let my mind wander....and prayed for the movie to end.
Where did it go wrong? Let me count the ways: 1) Ben Affleck was so totally clueless as to what to do with his baby (let his father care for her, even though he seemed to have a full time job of his own); and yet we're to believe Ben was this genius of a promoter? 2) Ben's outburst came just a day or 2 after his wife died, and he's holding his infant daughter. Yet the 'industry' cuts him zero slack, and won't touch him for 7 years? 3) Nor can he get - for 7 yrs - any type of white collar job? 4) Liv is so cute, but here she's a tramp. "You haven't had sex in 7 yrs? Let's go do it right now!" 5) Ben's six hour long (it seemed that long) monologue with his baby daughter. I felt as if I was being forced to eat spoonful after spoonful of sugar. Enough! On the other hand, if you liked "Definitely, Maybe," you'd like this movie (or vice versa).
Sweet Land (2005)
The plot summary, and the trailer, both suggest a really great movie. Sweet and pretty girl from Norway comes to America,over comes struggles, and finds love.
And I think that's what many viewers pass their ultimate judgment on - what they think the movie is about.
The actual movie, though, falls far short. Let me count the ways.
It's pace, if there is one, is glacial.
Olaf, for most of the movie is beyond shy and retiring, he's border line retarded.
The minister hates Inge with a passion, then does a 180, decides he loves the girl, based on....what? Seeing her work hard in the corn field? The neighbors raise $7,000 and give it to Olaf so Olaf can keep his farm? No, to keep his neighbor's farm, which he bought without any money. When his 'bid' was the highest, all the banker lets the other bidders, the ones with real money, take off, despite knowing that Olaf does have anywhere near enough money.
On the other hand, viewers were fortunate enough to see what was probably the prettiest immigrant girl who came across the ocean. Lucky Olaf.
The general concept could have resulted in a really sweet movie - the actual story line was thread bear.
Definitely, Maybe (2008)
This could have been a cute movie, but they mucked it up by deciding to have the little girl's parents get a divorce.
Done properly, the title to this movie would have been,"How i met your mother." Instead, they chose to make it, "How I met your mother, who I later came to hate, so I divorced her!"
That would have made one of the climatic scenes - when her 'mother' walks up to them, ending the mystery of which of the 3 the mother was - really sweet. Instead, since we already knew they were getting divorced, it wasn't really that tender a moment.
Among the preposterous features was this: late in the movie the little girl is clearly trying to get her parents back together. Minutes later she's does a 180, and tries to hook her dad up with an old flame.
Pleeese.
Juno (2007)
A good movie that could have been better if only someone had proofed the screen play first.
So much to like about the movie, mostly about Juno (the actress and her lines). And yet, a couple small things:
1) It was just silly for the movie to suggest that Juno could give away her baby....without any sign-off by the father. It was his baby, too, something the "lawyer' surely would have known.
2) Speaking of the boyfriend, the movie was awfully short of details as to what kind of relationship he had with Juno when they had sex. Just friends? Boyfriend - girlfriend?
3) For a young man who seemed really nice and fairly mature, he sure was uninvolved in the baby. He took a rather extreme "it's your problem" approach. If he'd been a jerk, that would have sold, but he wasn't.
4) Course, Juno's parents were pretty uninvolved, too. Their reaction was more appropriate to Juno telling them she'd flunked a class and had to take a summer school course. "Ok, well, take care of it," was the parent's approach.
5) the big issue in the movie was 'what was Juno going to do with the baby?" Her first choice was abortion. So she goes to the clinic...and walks out in 5 minutes. A life changing change of mind. And just what caused the change? An obnoxious receptionist? Some lady drumming her fingers? It wasn't made clear. The change of mind would have been more convincing if it was more rational.
Citizen Kane (1941)
For a 1941 movie, it wasn't bad, but.....
To call it one of the best of all time is simply silly. I don't know how many movies I've seen in my last, but this is surely in the bottom quarter.
Maybe the biggest drawback is the lack of realism in the characters. I've found that to be true in a lot of the older movies (Birds, N by NW). The main characters aren't realistic; they're more like caricatures, not like any persons I've ever known. Too cardboard stand up, too over-drawn.
And the camera work, thought to be creative, was distracting. Viewing two people talking from a camera at ankle height is pointless.
Into the Wild (2007)
As good as it could have been, given the nature of the plot
This movie was as good as it could have been, given the limited nature of the plot - man wanders around, meets a series of people, then goes into the wilds and die. That sort of 'plot' is going to be so absorbing.
But I thought 2 scenes were especially noteworthy
The first was when the old man asked Chris if he could adopt him. How sad and touching.
The other was when Chris declined to have sex with the 16 year old girl because of her age. Given the morals of Hollywood, that was almost unprecedented. Just consider the types of pairings of lovers in movies:
1) the most common is 2 singles, followed by
2) one married, the other single, followed by
3) two people, each married, but to others, then lastly, almost non-existent...
4) a married couple.
The Birds (1963)
Only by the standards of yesteryear does this movie stand out. By contemporary standards the movie is, well, silly.
In no particular order;
1) This is so very similar to North by NorthWest. Suave man sweeps helpless woman off her feet and saves her. And both women are, well, unlike any woman I've ever known. Both kinds a strange.
2) It was disheartening how utterly helpless the women were in this movie. If it wasn't for Mitchell, they'd have all been killed. Like when Melanie goes upstairs, opens the door and whoosh! all the birds attack. What does she do? Close the door behind her so she can't get out.
3) And how about when Melanie tells the schoolteacher, "Don't send the children out for recess, there are hundreds of crows out there!" What does the teacher do? Sends the children out anyway, albeit it to go home.
4) Why on earth did they decide on a 24 or so year difference between Mitchell (35?) and his "little sister" (11) ??
5) This movie is a poor man's "Jaws," just like NNW was a poor man's "Fugitive."
Give me the modern stuff any day.
Waitress (2007)
When the movie was over, I thought I liked this movie, but by the next day
...I decided otherwise. I agree with another writer - it was an assault on marriage. Kerri Russell cheating was OK, I guess, given her abusive husband, and maybe the blonde waitress's cheating was OK, since her husband was some type of invalid, but what about the cook? What was his excuse? Even the waitresses said his wife was OK. Of course the worst was the doctor. Cute and charming, he was a mystery. He seemed to have a perfectly wonderful wife...yet he was still on the prowl. And of all the doctors to have a patient affair - a gynecologist? Good grief. That's almost weird. Why couldn't they have made him a single guy? That would have created a more comfortable situation. And when we meet his wife, she seems really nice. All in all, typical Hollywood amoral tripe.
Shopgirl (2005)
Just Horrible
I have read scores of reviews on this website, but never felt compelled to comment on a movie.....until I watched ShopGirl. It was just awful.
Clare Danes was great, but the story line was insipid.
I was hoping Clare was going to have to choose between 2 different, but worthy men, but in the end the 2 men while different,were both totally losers.
Martin was almost psychopathic in his coldness and inability to relate or to bond with another - almost to the point of being sexual predator.
Jeremy, meanwhile, wasn't just a little rough around the edges; he was a low level adolescent for most of the movie. Among the many questions I had when the abomination was over was, what came over Jeremy? ONe minute he's on the road, calling Danes and saying he's got an unpaid roady job. The next scene he's wearing a suit and driving a nice car. What happened? He win the lotttery or something? And what was the point of the scene where Danes goes back to Vermont? to show that her parents were uncommunicative? To show that poor Danes saw her future as being her mother living with a comatose husband, so she (Danes) figured any warm body was better than nothing? And what of the scene where her co-worker gives her "sexual tips" on getting a man. Oh no, says Dane,I couldn't do those sorts of things- I'm from Vermont. And yet the same Vermont girl has gone to bed with both Jeremy and Martin on her second date with each. She may be from Vermont but she's one really easy date.
All in all the movie was just a mess. Depressingly so.