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Ransom for a Dead Man (1971)
Entertaining but flawed storyline.
Out of all the Columbo episodes this is the one I always remember most. Production values are high and the acting excellent but Columbo is supposed to be about cleverness. A clever murdered outclevered by a clever detective.
That's all fine but there are two big holes in the storyline and if you overlook them then it is entertaining for all the other reasons.
First flaw is the murder. How does a small woman or indeed any woman apart from an Olympic weightlifter manage to wrap up a 6.5ft male weighing about 200 pounds in a tarpaulin before dragging the body to the car, lifting it into the trunk , lifting it out of the trunk before shoving it off a cliff?
Second flaw is the ending. No lawyer with her smarts would give 25,000 dollars in cash to someone going on a plane to Switzerland. That would be the equivalent of about 250,000 today. It wouldn't get through customs let alone presenting it at a European bank for depositing for reasons of money laundering and proceeds of crime.
The obviousness of this flaw at the end allows too convenient an ending for the writers and director of this episode and spoils what is otherwise an excellent production.
Columbo: Dagger of the Mind (1972)
One Of The Worst Episodes
This episode had the potential to be something much better than it turned out to be. It was interesting to see the footage of old London and how it contrasts with today but I couldn't see how Columbo could come to be involved in a London murder considering he is LAPD.
Now I realize it's only a show but stories do have to be plausible and this is as implausible as it gets. It just so happens that a murder occurs while Columbo is on a visit to Scotland Yard to swap ideas with his British counterparts. Trouble is, I don't see how he would get to be involved in the investigation. I'm sure there are international protocols to be observed where the investigation of serious crime is concerned and the assumption that Columbo would lead any investigation on the grounds of expertise alone, I find a bit hard to swallow
If only that was the only problem with this episode. The acting is horrendous. I don't know much about Richard Basehart but after watching this performance I don't want to find out. The acting from him and Honor Blackman who plays the wife and partner in crime is pathetic to say the least.
This leads us to the major problem with this storyline. The first killing was manslaughter and not murder. Blackman's character throws a tumbler at her husband and it accidentally strikes the old bloke and he dies. From there they go through this ridiculous charade to cover up what happened and this leads to the murder of the butler played by the equally bad Wilfred Hyde White. So the Basehart character commits murder to cover up manslaughter. Absurd plot line or what?
Needless to say the Scotland Yard cops are horribly clichéd in their portrayal but I thank their efforts nonetheless as I'm sure most of them don't care because most of them are dead and I'm just using this review to test a new bluetooth keyboard. Thanks!
Steiner - Das Eiserne Kreuz, 2. Teil (1979)
So Bad It Manages To Be Good!
I spent the 70's and 80's with eyes pinned to the box and until recently had never heard of this film despite a liking for war movies and Sam Peckinpah's Cross of Iron in particular.
This movie was never broadcast on British television as far as I know and after watching it on You Tube I can see why. It really is a very badly made movie. Burton looks miscast here, he tries to put on a faux German accent but it doesn't work, overall he looks more like a Chelsea pensioner than a hardened combat soldier. I thought Robert Mitchum did his usual thing well as did Rod Steiger even with the clichéd dialogue, but I put it all largely down to bad staging and editing. Perhaps there were budgetary issues with this film because it really shows and it only last 90 mins so what was cut out?
Helmut Greim was particularly bad as Stransky but had to follow the magnificent Maximillian Schell from the first movie. Again Greim looks miscast here, perhaps even more so than Burton.
Clearly when a film project is launched all the essential elements don't quite come together and here is a clear example. Despite all the failings it still manages to be entertaining because you find yourself enjoying these big name movie stars being so badly represented.
Hardcore (1979)
Downbeat Social Commentary Movie
During the VHS revolution back in the 80's I remember the box cover for this movie on the video store shelves but back then it just wasn't interesting enough to take much notice. And so this is one of those movies I'd never seen until now, perhaps due to the adult themes portrayed, it never appeared on British television, at least as far as I know.
So I dialled it up online and being someone who prefers older movies and the aesthetic of celluloid finally got around to viewing this rather downbeat TV style movie. Although the director Paul Schrader also wrote the screenplay for Taxi Driver, this movie has none of the surreal fantasy aspects of that movie. Hardcore just feels like the sort of humdrum social drama you would find on TV except with an A list Oscar winning actor in it.
Don't get me wrong, this movie does have its moments, some moments comedic and some sleazy sequences which aim to raise the excitement just a bit. And there are times when this kind of movie hits the right notes, perhaps when you're in a somewhat more thoughtful and relaxed mood.
George C Scott does look a bit out of place in this movie, not entirely comfortable I thought and perhaps took the role thinking that Schrader's previous involvement with Taxi Driver might help reset his career in a more upward trajectory. Sadly it didn't!
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Never Saw It. Never Wanna See It.
As soon as I saw the CGI effects on the trailer I knew it wasn't for me. I hate CGI full stop. I caught a few minutes on a TV showing and switched off. This movie really sucks. Ford is too old for the roll now and the ideas presented looked ridiculous. This seems to be the case for the modern adventure movie, whether it be star wars or James Bond. They just can't make em they way they used to and I blame it on dumbing dowon education. All the technical stuff is there, the actors are just as good but somehow there are no decent and credible scripts around. I guess everything has been done to death and now we are in the realms of child fantasy. Time to put this series back in the vault.
The Dark Knight (2008)
You Must Be Batty If You Like This Film!
I should have listened to my instincts which were telling me that I could not take seriously a movie where a guy in a rubber halloween costume was flying around skyscrapers beating up the bad guys. At least the original by Tim Burton and Michael Keaton as Batman was a bit tongue in cheek as the TV series was but the Dark Knight took itself far too seriously and the result was embarrassing. Why does Batman have this gruff stereotypical voice? Then as his alter ego Bruce Wayne it disappears. Also, Michael Caine addressing Christian Bale as Master Wayne is also a bit laughable.
Anyway, too much crash, bang, wallop for my liking. Yes, special effects were good but so was Blade Runner and that felt more atmospheric and substantial than this rubbish. Ashame, because Christopher Nolan's last film The Prestige was hugely enjoyable with great script and cinematography. Also Bale was in his element here but as Batman he was quite simply pathetic with that stupid voice.
My rating is 6/10 for effects only and I wouldn't waste your hard earned on this rubbish. I think they should now let Batman rest in peace. I can't think of one which was any good, even the Tim Burton version from the 80's was about average.
You must be batty if you like this film!
Eastern Promises (2007)
Disappointing End
This movie is well worth going to see for the usual Cronenberg gore fest and interesting character interplay. The story is really a bit weak and the ending is a let down. Was looking for something a bit more rip roaring at the end but the movie went out with a wimper.
Mortenson puts on a convincing Russian performance and Cassell is really stealing the show with the psycho son impression, better than Andy Garcia's Godfather 3 version. I think this movie suffered from low budget but I don't think Cronenberg gets a lot of money to spend. Photography and staging is up to his usual standards but Crash remains his outstanding achievement. Still, entertaining enough but not one of Cronenberg's best!
Zodiac (2007)
Would send you to sleep!
Boring stuff. Seemed OK for about the first hour and then it just dragged on, nothing was happening, just constant dialogue between characters. The main character was like something from a kids TV show. He was OK in spiderman but rubbish in this. This film is a mish mash of ideas that don't quite gel. As with all of Fincher's movies, cinematography is good, but the script is a shambles and Fincher has got lost trying to do something he just can't do, work with a complicated script and make it an engrossing piece of work. Fincher is good with a simple premise such as The Game and Fight Club but Brian De Palma he ain't.
I fell asleep half way through this film and left before the end as did a few other people. In saying that I wasn't expecting much from it because I thought Seven was rubbish also.
Lucky Number Slevin (2006)
This Film Is Nobodys Lucky Number!
Really poor effort. Terrible direction, dialogue, acting, screenplay, wasted talent in Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman. Bruce Willis must be desperate for parts these days too. The fast editing in this film is real teenage hormone stuff, meaningless. The violence is not effective, again its all fast editing to cover up a low budget. The supporting actors are not that good but they don't need to be for this rubbish. The dialogue continues to irritate with the Chinese girl who whitters and twitters on throughout the film, even Ben Kingsley's at it. The film tries to be funny but I guarantee you won't leave the cinema hall laughing. I couldn't get out quick enough. I really don't want to say much more about this film because I'm getting bored just thinking about it. Oh yeah, should mention the meaningless James Bond homage dialogue with the Chinese girl and Slevin, whats that all about. I thought the film was trying to copy Casino and Goodfellas at first with the narrative intro, this fizzles out into a comedy film and then the film snaps into cold psycho mode at the end. Did I mention the dialogue?
Syriana (2005)
Absorbing, informative, poignant, illustrative, apt!
Took a chance on this docu-drama this afternoon and was pleasantly rewarded. For those confused about what goes on in the Middle East today, the oil industry, world economy, corruption etc then this film is a must see. In many ways the film confirms what we think goes on but we're not really quite sure. It resolves any doubts or feelings that we may be slightly paranoid or that we are a victim of the conspiracy theorist journos that some may call Michael Moore. It also confirms what I think suicide bombers are; young men with dreams going nowhere exploited by fundamental groups who, in my interpretation of this film, may have a modicum of justification for what they do. George Clooney does not dominate this film and not being a Clooney fan was pleased about that. In fact my only criticism over Clooney in this film is the pretentious flick of the head he is inclined to do in movies. He does this once at the beginning of the movie and then plays it straight thereafter. Let him off this time.
Identity (2003)
You Will Feel Cheated After This!
This 'HORROR' movie is ok for the first hour, credible acting performances all round, decent cinematography and even direction!
And then something happens! It totally changes in the last 40minutes into some of the worst and disappointing cinema you will see ever. A completely ridiculous ending which leaves the audience cheated by introducing plot twists which are quite implausible. The very end says it all!
One can only imaging that the filming budget was running thin near completion and they had to rush out the ending as a result.
5 out of 10
Vampires (1998)
As Bad As Toothache
A friend of mine approached me at work recently and told me he had watched the Carpenter movie 'Escape from LA.' He followed that up by saying, 'I think John Carpenter has lost it.'
For those of us brought up on Carpenter masterpieces such as 'The Thing' and 'Escape from New York' then I think my friend has a point. The recent batch of movies by Carpenter have been a letdown. A recent example is 'Vampires' starring James Woods and to be honest if the film didn't have Woods then it would be totally lost.
I won't go over the plot as my friends here do so adequately but the problem with this film is that does nothing very well. The editing in the film is atrocious, it tries to be cool with the use of fast cut editing particularly in the opening sequence but it only looks amateurish, a bit like a karaoke singer after one too many.
Apart form Woods the acting doesn't inspire either and the actors employed would be best left to tv filmwork. I don't include Maximmilian Schell in this because he is one of the great actors and wasted in this tripe. He only appears briefly though.
This film has been made in the same vein as another Carpenter movie, 'Big Trouble in Little China' but 'Vampires' isn't as good and not half as funny.
My conclusion with this film is don't bother to even rent it instead wait for a freebie on tv. That reminds me, I must visit the dentist.
Cross of Iron (1977)
The Most Realistic Depiction of the Eastern Front Ever!
You don't need many words to describe this film. Terrific cast, terrific cinematography and a lasting image of the horrors of the Eastern Front during World War 2.
This film is Sam Peckinpah's greatest film! Why? Well, the horrors of the Eastern Front really happened whereas film's like the 'Wild Bunch' were fiction. When you watch the film you get an idea of what it must have been like to endure the privations of war. More importantly this film refuses to let us forget the sacrifices made by all sides during the war.
These things apart, James Coburn has played in this film the most memorable,deepest and important role of his career. Coburn's performance allows us to understand the mental torment of someone who is forced to kill for a campaign he doesn't believe in. He isn't a Nazi but forced to endure for the advancement of their cause. This is important because many war films mistakenly depict the German soldier as a committed Nazi, evil and inhuman.
Maximillian Schell is a fantastic foil as the cowardly superior officer only thinking of his own advancement while all around him struggle to survive. James Mason also provides a heavyweight supporting role as the commanding officer who is straight and honest.
Cross of Iron allows us to somehow visualise what must be the most mysterious and darkest aspect of the war. Conventional war is bad enough but the Eastern Front went beyond the convention.The hatred shared by both sides for each other fueled the conflict to heights of unparalleled savagery. Not even Cross of Iron will allows us to see what it was really like, but then, do we really want to?
Red Dragon (2002)
Mediocre Sequel
I am not a connoisseur of mainstream movie making in general but the 'Hannibal' series has been the exception to the rule, mainly due to the magnetism of Anthony Hopkins the actor. I always thought Silence of the Lambs was an unworthy oscar winner but still entertaining despite the irritating Jody Foster, Jonathan Demme did a good job on this one.
Ridley Scott went for thrills in the sequal 'Hannibal' and succeeded to revolt us in a gore fest where we get to see the untethered Hannibal in action. More entertaining than 'Silence'? Definetly!
And so I went along to the cinema one evening seeking out the cheap thrills that the first two films provided. There were 5 people in the audience. Just the way I like it.
Red Dragon started excitingly with Hopkins hamming it up around the dinner table, some action ensued and all was looking good. Then 'Hannibal' was locked up and the disenfranchised Hopkin's character brought the entertainment to an end. The story became a tired and exhaustive introspective of the Norton character. He was a bit lightweight for this role but the story also became entangled with him and his wife discussing his involvement in the case. Boring!
The most positive aspect of the film was Ralph Fiennes, who seemed to carry on his techniques of acting the psycho from the Cronenberg film 'Spider'. He was convincing and entertaining, interacting superbly with the blind girl.
However, the direction of the film by Brett Ratner was sterile. He had a tough act to follow in two talented directors but ultimately the Producers are to blame for employing him. The film is overall downbeat with a few scenes of violence which fail to lift the film.
I left the cinema feeling conned by this one as it failed to entertain. I won't part with my cash so readily for the next film.