sabbalab Reviews

Doctor Who: 73 Yards (2024) Season 1, Episode 4

The first episode this season where I have no complaints.

[10/10 · 26 May 2024]

This season had a cruddy start and that sucks, but the episodes afterwards have definitely made up for it.

Space Babies wasn't bad, but wasn't ....good.

The Devil's Chord was better, but had some issues.

Boom was even better, but there were some writing decisions that I personally disagreed with. Nothing too serious.

But 73 Yards? No complaints. None whatsoever. It's the newest masterpiece from Doctor Who.

Now, I DO have questions about timeline stuff and what the fairy circle even is, but that's like saying water is wet.

With Doctor Who, you pretty much have to accept that not everything will be explained.

The basic plot of this was fantastic. The idea of "being followed by someone who makes everyone afraid of you" sounds like a nightmare.

When Ruby's mum ran from her, it felt like I was remembering an old nightmare of my mom running away from me. I felt so bad for Ruby.

I don't want to say too much, but what they did was great. The more I watched, the more I felt like this could have been an award winning Hollywood horror movie with the right tweaks.

If you enjoy watching Doctor Who, you need to watch this episode NOW!

Inspector Gadget (2015–2018)

A disservice to the orignal show.

[4/10 · 24 April 2024]

Before I begin, I want to be upfront and say I only saw 3 episodes, so maybe things get better in later seasons? I don't know. Probably not.

I loved watching the original Inspector Gadget show as a kid. I randomly stumbled on an episode of this newer show on the official YouTube channel, so I thought "Why not? I'll give it a shot."

Now, I know that the original show was from 30 years prior, so changes had to be made to appeal to newer audiences, but I feel like almost every change they made was for the worst.

The character of Inspector Gadget himself is fine for the most part. My main issue with Gadget is his voice actor. I'd be arrogant to be upset that Don Adams isn't voicing Gadget. After all... he's dead.

I don't blame Ivan Sherry for doing an impression of Don Adams. In fact, that's the best move he could have made. My issue is that, while it's not bad, it's not great either.

Literally, the person who did Inspector Gadget for the Robot Chicken parodies was better. I'd say he's 60 percent there, but the missing 40 percent is really noticeable.

Again, I don't blame him and I'll bet that Ivan is a great voice actor, but when I hear him, I don't hear Inspector Gadget. I hear an imitation. And that's exactly what this show is.

Penny is now voiced by Tara Strong instead of Cree Summer. I get hiring someone new and I like Tara Strong, but when I think Penny, Tara is not what comes to mind.

As this is a sequel show to the original, Penny is now 14 and in training to be an agent. She now assists Gadget officially instead of in secret.

I hate this. Because of these changes, Penny is now a completely different person. Her personality is different, her clothes are different. Everything other than her pigtails are different.

In the original show, Penny won by outsmarting Claw, even when captured. In this, she is now trained in martial arts and has futuristic gadgets.

Remember her old computer book and wristwatch? They're gone. Now she has this fancy futuristic holographic tablet built into her gloves and, if you ask me, that's just too far.

Brain is fine, but I hate how he now changes his costumes with a futuristic gadget now. That's nitpicky though, I'll admit that. So I'll let that slide.

But Dr. Claw? Oh, what the hell?

Dr. Claw used to be menacing. He had diabolical plans and was constantly trying to kill Inspector Gadget. In this, he sounds like a deadbeat father who smokes too much.

The first episode has Dr. Claw wanting to launch a "Stink Missile" at HQ. I saw another episode where his "evil plan" was to steam-clean his minions uniforms by dropping a giant ice cube into a volcano.

.......No, seriously. That was it. He even says that he's doing it because it's cheaper than buying new uniforms.

There was another episode where he wanted to make a giant magnifying glass to make the Grand Canyon even grander. When given the suggestion to blackmail the governments to give them "A Zillion dollars" He went "What would we do with a Zillion dollars?"

This is NOT the Dr. Claw we used to know and fear. This is.... This is sad! They made Dr. Claw a sad, pathetic man.

One of the newest additions to the show is Talon, Dr. Claw's Nephew. He's smart, he can fight and he is basically the main henchman they deal with in the show.

Making an evil parallel to Penny makes sense. You'd think this would work, but it really doesn't.

Talon is..... Well, he's an idiot. There is never a moment where he ever has a good plan or outsmarts Penny. He rarely outsmarts Inspector Gadget and that is saying something.

He is not a force to be reckoned with. He's comic relief.

In the first episode I saw, they end up capturing him, but he escapes by making a hole in the ice with lasers off-screen.

This is basically my big complaint. The change I hate the most. Every episode I saw used excuses like this for everything. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Whatever situation they are in, they have some nonsensical contraption at the ready to save them.

There is never a moment in the show where you think "Oh god! How are they going to get out of this?" Now, it's "Ugh! What are they gonna pull out of their asses now?"

Inspector Gadget was upgraded way too much. When they were on a bus that was sabotaged to encase them in ice if they stopped, Gadget used lasers to cut the bus in half and sent the front through a portal he made.

A FREAKIN' PORTAL!

Literally in the first episode, HQ is hit with an EMP, destroying all electronic devices and also deactivating Gadget. Oh god! What will they do!?

...They turn him back on.

Another issue I have is the forced romantic tension between Penny and Talon. They do a "Love at first sight" attraction that sticks around despite them not having any chemistry. It's pretty generic.

Generic. I think that's the best word for this show. A sequel show for Inspector Gadget could have and should have been amazing, like the Ducktales Reboot. But this is not that. This is far worse.

I haven't even gotten to the animation. It looks like an upscaled PS2 game. Everything about how the show's look screams "Low-budget".

They were never going to compete with the original show with this, which makes me wonder why they even bothered.

As I said, I understand why changes had to be made, but I don't understand why they couldn't keep the essence of the original show and it's characters.

Criss Angel Mindfreak: Building Implosion Escape (2008) Season 4, Episode 2

Prerecorded footage BROADCAST LIVE!!!

[3/10 · 20 January 2024]

My brother was a huge fan of Criss Angel's show. I watched this live with him. I was 15, he was 17.

The entire thing was advertised as a live event of Criss Angel escaping a hotel about to be demolished.

Sounds cool, right? Well it would have been if they didn't lie.

When the escape started, Criss only had 4 minutes to escape to the roof, where a helicopter is waiting to pick him up.

He was handcuffed to a balcony and had to throw up a key he swallowed. I felt like the fact that he had the key whole time was a bit of a misdirect, but other than that, good start so far.

The real problem is this: The moment he breaks the window and runs inside the building, it cuts to prerecorded footage.

My brother caught on to this immediately and it was all but confirmed in the ending, which I will get into.

When the timer reached 30 seconds, the helicopter pulled out without Criss, meaning he can't escape the implosion. When it reached 0, the sounds of demolition started.

After the building finished imploding, they all search the rubble for him and he climbs out unharmed. This really annoyed me. He actually wanted us to believe he survived an implosion unharmed.

Here's the truth: Criss did not escape the building. Not how he said he was going to, anyway.

When the implosion started, no vibrations or shaking is shown in any of the cameras placed in the building. Instead, they all cut to static.

Now, this shouldn't need to be pointed out, but cameras don't do that. Static is when you can't get good analog signal on your TV. The cameras were digital and would have cut to black had they been destroyed.

Also, if they actually had been destroyed, they wouldn't all go out at exactly the same time. This was done deliberately to hide that it was prerecorded.

Criss kept saying how the goal was always to reach the helicopter, but the fact is that, while the fake prerecorded footage played, he actually went downstairs and went through a secret exit that the cameras don't show, got to a safe spot, and then pretended to climb out of the rubble unharmed.

Before anyone says it, yes, magicians lie. I know. Of course they do. They kinda have to when they perform their illusions.

But this was not advertised as a illusion. This was advertised as a live escape attempt where Criss Angel could have died.

It was not live, and it was not an escape attempt, and Criss was never in danger. It was none of these things.

I never blamed him for lying when he did illusions, those were cool!

But all his fake escapes and daredevil crap got old quick. Criss liked to pretend he was the next Houdini (Literally, comparisons have been made) when he simply wasn't.

I wouldn't have even minded this if it actually was live and actually showed how he really escaped. In fact, I would have laughed my ass off if they just went "Oh... He's just going through the door........ I thought he'd......... Okay."

Watching this was a waste of time. Criss Angel, his show, and A&E all advertised a lie. We waited through an hour for a lie.

In my eyes, this event was worse than "The Mystery of Al Capone's Vaults" (At least they admitted their might not be anything inside) and on par with "Eaten Alive" with that jackass who said a snake would eat him whole. You know the one.

I Am Autism (2009)

"Autism Speaks" Does NOT "speak" for us!

[1/10 · 22 October 2023]

If you ever wondered what the issue with Autism Speaks is and why the autistic community doesn't like them, look no further! This ad represents every issue they've caused.

They spread misinformation like the plague. They act like Autism is this horrifying disease. They act like autistic people can't do anything by or for themselves. The way this ad treats autism like it's worse than cancer and hurts your family is just asinine!

Even their logo is misinformation. They claim that autistic people have a piece missing, which is just wrong.

I myself am Autistic. I found out a few years ago and finally got diagnosed last month. Let me explain what Autism really is.

It makes us not want to make eye contact and makes small talk difficult. OOOOOHHHH! SCARY!!!!

We can't tune out noises and get overwhelmed in noisy environments. HORRIFYING!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!

We have certain sensory issues and don't like the feeling of certain objects and fabrics. MY MARRIAGE!!!

We have difficulty reading people's faces and understanding something that they are hinting at, so we sometimes say or do the wrong thing! I THINK I'M DYING!!!

We get stuck on certain topics and focus on them to the point of hyperfixation. OH DEAR GOD, NO!!!!

Do you get it yet? It's not that scary. Sure, having autism comes with some issues here and there, especially for those who are non-verbal with high support needs. But not NEARLY to the horrifying extent that this ad and all of Autism Speaks makes it out to be.

Autism is NOT an illness! We are NOT broken. Just different.

Now, if you want people to come together to help families with autistic children with high support needs, we're all for it. But not like this! Not Autism speaks.

NEVER Autism Speaks!

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

I could not agree with the Rotten Tomato score LESS!

[10/10 · 12 April 2023]

If you have EVER played and enjoyed a Super Mario Game, you're going to like this movie.

You are. You just are. And if you don't, then you just don't exist in my world. You don't. You just don't.

From the beginning when they first announced this movie, I was concerned. We all were. Those concerns did not get any better when they announced the voice cast.

In fact, it got worse when it was announced that Charles Martinet was NOT reprising his roles as Mario and Luigi, but they would instead be played by Chris Pratt and Charlie Day.

Having finally seen the movie, I will say that, While I don't think they were the best choices, they did fine. Charlie Day's voice definitely nails the scaredy-cat persona that fits Luigi so well. When he says he's Luigi, I believe it.

Chris Pratt, less so, but he got the job done. He's no Charles Martinet, but in the end, it's not worth complaining about, although I do look forward to the fan-made Charles Martinet cuts that will no doubt be made in the near future.

Chris Pratt does do the Italian accent for the plumbing commercial in the beginning of the movie, but only then. And even then, it's just an imitation of Mario. That's what he feels like. An Imitation.

Anya Taylor-Joy does really well as Peach and, in some ways, I actually prefer her over the other voice actresses like Jen Taylor Samantha Kelly.

Peach in this movie is awesome. She finally holds her own for the first time ever. (Unless you count Super Princess Peach, but you don't.)

Keegan-Michael Key does great as Toad and isn't nearly as annoying as you'd assume he'd be. His Toad is pretty good. He's likable and very helpful to Mario.

Seth Rogan is...... Well, Seth Rogan. Honestly, I'm not sure if I liked his portrayal of Donkey Kong, but I didn't hate it either.

But Jack Black absolutely NAILS IT as Bowser. He is, without a doubt, the best voice actor of the movie.

While it is only hinted that Bowser is in love with Peach in the games, It is all but confirmed in the movie as Bowser practices his proposal and sings about Peach. He's actually kind of adorable if it wasn't for his murderous rampages.

The story is basic. Mario and Luigi try to help with a city sewage issue, they find a warp pipe, they get separated. Mario is in the Mushroom Kingdom, Luigi is in the Badlands, Bowser's territory.

I think this is the best move they could have done. If it was to save Peach, Mario really has no incentive to help as he does not really know her well at this point. Since he has to save his brother, he gives it his all. He falls and falls and falls, but keeps getting back up to save his brother.

The references in this movie is plentliful. You'll have to watch the movie over and over again to see them all. There's references to Punch out, Kid Icarus, Star Fox and more.

When a Koopa Troopa is hit, the familiar sound effect from the games are played. In a scene where Mario grabs the Power Star, I went "Play the music! Play the music! Play the music! Play the music!" Then they played the music.

I could talk about this movie all day, but I think I should stop here.

This movie was full of fan service, but that's exactly what it was meant to be.

Velma (2023– )

If the writers of Family Guy made Daria.

[1/10 · 17 January 2023]

That headline is not a compliment. This show is terrible.

This is NOT the Mystery gang that we know and love. This is not what Scooby-Doo is meant to be.

The Velma that we all know and love is gone. She's been replaced with a hateful monster of a person who is condescending and insulting towards anyone and everything, then wonders why nobody likes her.

Daphne now has even less character. All she cares about is being popular. The show thinks they can balance that out by giving her two lesbian mothers, and then doing nothing with it.

Fred is now a rich, white boy who hasn't gone through puberty and keeps forgetting about Velma's existence because she isn't pretty.

Shaggy......Oh, poor Shaggy. The only similarity to his original character is the green shirt that he's wearing.

Revamping characters is nothing new, but none of the changes that they've made respect the source material. Not even remotely.

It takes Scooby-Doo, scoops out everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) good about it and replaces it with all of the negative aspects of modern episodes of Family Guy.

It does Family Guy's schtick of describing something in vivid detail and then expecting you to laugh (which you won't) Not even two minutes into the first episode, it shows two cockroaches having sex, (Now laugh) then switches to teenage girls taking a group shower and getting into a debate over their opinions on gratuitous nudity in pilot episodes of TV shows (I said LAUGH!).

This might actually sound funny and it DOES have potential, but they drag it out.

Most of the group hates the gratuitous nudity, but one woman thinks it's fine, so Daphne starts fighting her and it genuinely seems like she wanted to kill her. (Why aren't you laughing!?)

This is my biggest problem that I have with the show, they drag out all of their jokes to make a statement about something.

In episode 2, Fred is in court over a murder charge, they try to dress him up like a cute little boy who would never hurt anyone, but then it rains and one of his fake eyelashes goes under his nose, making him look like Hitler.

I actually thought that was a good joke. I started laughing, but then they ruined it by having someone screaming and going "Oh God, he looks like Hitler! And not just because we compare everyone to Hitler these days."

PEOPLE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT!

This show is insulting. It's insulting to the Mystery Gang, it's insulting to the audience, it's insulting to pretty much everyone.