jar-06630 Reviews

Toy Story (1995)

Jack Reviews Pixar... Review 1: Toy Story (1995)

[10/10 · 22 April 2024]

When Pixar announced they would be making a movie, expectations were high. Pixar, who were already known for shorts such as Tin Toy, would become the first company to make CGI movies.

What did I think of Toy Story then?

Plot: Toy Story follows a toy named Woody. He's a cowboy doll who's owned by Andy, a delightful kid who has a bunch of cowboy stuff in his room. What Andy doesn't know, however, is that the toys are alive when he's not around. It's Andy's birthday party, him and his mom are moving a few days later. When Andy opens a present, he opens a Buzz Lightyear action figure, who becomes Andy's new favourite toy. Jealous, Woody attempts to get the fame back by knocking Buzz out of the window and into a nearby bush. Andy finds out that Buzz is gone, so he is forced to take Woody to Pizza Planet, a Chuck-E-Cheese type place. The other toys, which include a piggy bank named Hamm, a Mr. Potato Head and a slinky toy named... well Slinky, are mad at Woody and threaten him. Doesn't really come to anything though. Woody is unaware of the fact that Buzz has snuck onto Andy's car and so when Andy stops at a gas station, Buzz gets into the car and fights Woody, which eventually leads to Andy and his mom driving off without them. One thing about Buzz is that he thinks he's a spaceman, but he's a toy. Luckily, Buzz and Woody get to Pizza Planet via a delivery truck and so the mission is to get back to Andy. Buzz gets into a rocket themed claw machine, thinking it will take him back to his home, but both toys end up in the hands of Sid, Andy's neighbour. As one of the toys, Rex, says in the movie, Sid "tortures toys just for fun!" So it is apparent that Buzz and Woody will be in danger. Buzz finds out he's a toy after seeing a commercial and also his arm comes off after try to fly out a window but failing miserably. It's the day when Andy is moving, Buzz has now been strapped to an exploding rocket and Woody has been tortured. Woody gives Buzz a pep talk and they try to escape, which they do via Sid's toys.

I loved this film, the main actors Tom Hanks and Tim Allen star in this movie and the animation is class for 1995, a time when CGI was not so good in comparison to now. I would definitely give it a watch if you haven't already and it's going top of the list so far. Oh wait this is the first one-

1. Toy Story.

Britain's Got Talent (2007– )

"Britain's" Got No Talent

[1/10 · 27 January 2024]

BGT. A talent show where people with different talents compete to win £250k and a spot at the Royal Variety Performance. What talents are there? Farting... Unfunny comedians... People dressing up and acting like idiots... you name it. There's no talent and many of the contestants now ...

AREN'T ACTUALLY BRITISH.

You can't tell me that a show about British people having talent includes a lot of people from across the globe in it! It's crazy!

Another thing is the judges. Simon is tolerable at best although he's become worse over the years, Amanda is either Niagara Falls or a cackling witch, Alesha is like Simon and Bruno... Oh Bruno... he doesn't know what he's doing! Put me on, I'm no judge but I'd certainly be better than him!

Something I also dislike about the show is sometimes i feel it's scripted. Every series, you'll get one or two contestants with a heart-breaking backstory and they get the golden buzzer, guaranteed. Don't get me wrong, some of them are good, but it always comes at the cost of talented contestants and to be honest, I don't think the judges give them the golden buzzer for their talent, just because of their story.

1/10.

Ant & Dec's Limitless Win (2022– )

Dangerous but pays off

[10/10 · 20 January 2024]

I'll be dead honest with you: I HATE the game shows on ITV1 at the moment. Sub par Wheel of Fortune, boring Jeopardy, disappointing Deal or No Deal... I could go on. What can save me? Ant and Dec (they always do to be fair).

Ant and Dec's Limitless Win is a concept that shouldn't exist for ITV's sake. If a really knowledgeable couple went on this show, ITV would be shaking in their boots. But that's the charm of this show. You've got a supportive duo for hosts, a concept that can either win you millions or send you packing even though you were close to millions and suspense.

The concept is simple. Each couple begins by answering general knowledge questions. Every question they get right gets them 5 lives. At the end of the round, the lives get counted up ready for use on the money ladder. There are 4 lifelines that the couple can use: Take Two, which has both the couple and Ant and Dec answer the question and the ladder will use the better answer, Odd or Even, which tells you whether the answer is Odd or Even, Range which tells you what the answer is In between and More Than which tells you whether the number you picked is more or less than the answer. You obtain these by going over them on the money ladder. You answer questions which have numbers as answers and you go up steps for that answer. If you go over the answer, you lose everything, if you go under the answer, you don't bank anything and lose a certain amount of lives for the difference between your guess and the answer and if you get it spot on, you bank what amount you passed and you get 5 extra lives. The couple can take the money they've banked whenever they want to.

I adore this show, although it's probably the reason as to why the other game shows on ITV1 haven't got as much money to earn as they probably wanted to.

10/10.

Horrid Henry (2006–2021)

A 2D Animated Series that has a 3D meaning.

[10/10 · 31 December 2023]

Horrid Henry is a show that you can grow up watching and you will see it differently as you get older. This show is funny but also quite dark considering the fact that Henry is only being "horrid" to actually get some attention from his neglectful parents. Peter's the same, he just wants to be perfect to avoid receiving the same as Henry does. It's an interesting show with some humour, interesting plot points, characters that change overtime (e.g Henry becoming less horrid over the seasons) and a meaning that you won't understand until you're a lot older. The animation is good as well for it being a low budget CITV series. Well done! The only downside: I wish there were more seasons.

10/10.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2021)

Disney's attempt at making another few million dollars

[1/10 · 12 December 2023]

Diary of a Wimpy Kid has always been one of my favourite book series. And that's why I was glad that Fox had made the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie back in 2010, which was absolutely brilliant and executed the charm of the book. Then Rodrick Rules came out a year later, which was even better than the first. Two years later, Dog Days came out (btw they skipped The Last Straw for whatever reason) and it wasn't the best but it was still able to capture Jeff Kinney's (the author) ideas presented in the books.

"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE LONG HAUL-"

Don't talk to me about The Long Haul because that was horrendous, okay?

Anyways, Disney bought Fox and decided to remake the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie, but it's animated. They did a complete 180 on what Disney usually do, which is remake animated movies into live action. So, this movie released in 2021 on Disney+ and I've got to say I was surprised.

But not in a good way.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid is about as plain as you can get. With poor voice acting, poor animation and just a boring movie with next to nothing going on. The film is about an hour long and it's pointless watching it and the two sequels because they're not much better either. I've always known Disney for its cash grabs in recent times but this crosses the line. Just watch the original trilogy (NOT QUADRILOGY). In fact, watch the Long Haul over this movie, I don't care. If there's a redeeming aspect of this movie, it's got to be the end. Yeah. The end. And I mean when the film ends, not the final act.

1/10.

In the Night Garden... (2007–2009)

Better than all of today's kids shows.

[10/10 · 12 December 2023]

In The Night Garden is a treat to watch. With bizarre yet funny characters such as Makka Pakka who lives under a bridge and loves rocks. Or Iggle Piggle, the main character of the show, who goes on numerous adventures whilst holding his cuddly red blanket. You simply can't criticise this show because it's so simple, it's amazing. You could argue that the size orientation makes absolutely no sense. One time you are absolutely huge and then the next you could step on it. But that's the charm. It's a show that doesn't need to be taken seriously. You can look back in your life and say: "I watched In The Night Garden" and you could talk about it for hours despite its simplicity. You can't compare a show like In the Night Garden with the brain rot of today. It's impossible, it's the truth. I'd rather watch a show about characters speaking gibberish and denying the laws of physics than a show that focuses more on the real world. Shouldn't schools teach kids about that anyway?

I've done this once, which is quite significant, but In the Night Garden is a 10/10 for me. I'm so glad they are still showing this today, 14 years on from its final episode.

Mulan (1998)

The weaker Renaissance film.

[3/10 · 3 November 2023]

The Disney Renaissance will always be remembered for great films like Aladdin, The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast to name a few. Unfortunately, Mulan, the penultimate Renaissance film, falls flat when it comes to greatness. Here's why.

The soundtrack is not great. I'll Make a Man Out of You is the only song that I like, and yes I don't like Reflection, it's just not my song. The other songs are forgettable and/or flat out bad.

The voice acting is decent, but not anywhere near The Lion King. Eddie Murphy definitely gives the film a shining light but he's not enough to revive the film entirely.

As for the humour, it's slapstick and slapstick isn't my kind of humour to be honest. There's one joke which I enjoyed and that's at the end of the film and the Emperor says "You don't meet a girl like that every dynasty." Which is an underrated joke in my opinion.

The animation is good, but I couldn't expect anything less from Disney, especially in the Renaissance era. There are better animated films though.

It's a fun twist on a depressing war story but with expectations as high as they were, it's a mere disappointment and a 3/10. Luckily, Disney redeemed themselves with Tarzan the year later, which ended the Disney Renaissance upon the releases of Fantasia 2000 and Dinosaur.

The Simpsons (1989– )

Should've ended after Season 8.

[9/10 · 30 October 2023]

I'm sure the first series that comes to your mind when you are asked to think of an animated series would be something like Family Guy, Rick and Morty, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Adventure Time or the series I'm reviewing today, the Simpsons.

The Simpsons originally aired in 1987 as part of The Tracy Ullman Show. In 1989, after 3 seasons of skits on the show, The Simpsons would become its own show, debuting with "Simpsons Roasting On an Open Fire". Since then, the Simpsons has aired 34 seasons I think, and it has no signs of stopping.

But that's the problem. The Simpsons should've ended in the 1990s after Season 8, probably the best season of the show with episodes like "You Only Move Twice" and "Homer's Enemy". Since then, it's just got worse, there's limitations to episodes and titles, which leads to similar concepts and titles, like Mona Lisa puns are used a lot and sometimes people stay at the Simpsons house. It just gets repetitive.

Another issue is the fact that the VAs are getting older now. Dan Castellaneta, who voices Homer Simpson alongside a lot of other characters, is 66 now, not 32 like he was in the first episode. Julie Kavner, who voices Marge (Homer's wife) is 73, and she has got a bad voice now in the recent episodes because she's just tired of the Marge voice and she's older, she will struggle to continue the voice. It's the money that Fox want but you've got to give up eventually, the Simpsons hasn't been what it once was for 25 years.

I love the Simpsons. It's funny, it's interesting and pretty well animated. But please stop making new seasons. It's getting boring and is like a flat tire on a car. And don't think about replacing the VAs either; it will just lose its charm. For the reasons mentioned prior, it's not a 10, but it's a fantastic show I'll give it that.

9/10.

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)

Disappointed

[3/10 · 30 October 2023]

Before I review this movie, I want to point out that I haven't played or owned any of the Five Nights at Freddy's games so I won't compare the movie to the games at all. With that out of the way, let's see what this movie was and was it worth the hype?

Eh. I like horror movies and this sort of captured that horror feeling but not a lot. Matthew Lillard was somewhat okay but I was underwhelmed by his performance considering I was excited to see him in this movie. The CGI is good, I can't say it's perfect but it is practically a replica of the characters in the games from what I've seen. I know I've mentioned Lillard's performance so I won't glance over that again but what I will say is the acting in this movie is below average, mostly because the bad actors get more screen time, like the security guard (you may think he's good but I don't) and the child actors who try and I'll give them props for that but like most child actors are mediocre at best. I like the plot but the execution lets it down via the acting. I reckon if it wasn't as hyped as it was, Five Nights at Freddy's would be an okay movie, nothing special about it, but considering the popularity of FNAF and the hype this movie got, I was disappointed with the movie and I think I shouldn't play the games if they were a carbon copy of the movie. I would watch it if you like FNAF but if you don't, then I would pass.

3/10.

The Weakest Link: Puppet Special (2007) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

Classic

[10/10 · 25 September 2023]

Congratulations! You've come to the very first review of a classic Weakest Link episode: "the Puppet Special". I've always liked the Weakest Link, it's a game show that requires knowledge but not too much knowledge because if you do, the other contestants will want you out in a nanosecond. But this. THIS is good. "Iconic puppets on a game show? You must be joking!" You could be saying. Well it does sound terrible but it actually isn't. It's funny but also blends in with the serious tone the show usually has, which makes it even more hilarious because if the fact that we're used to seeing them in happy environments. I won't spoil it for you because from this review you might want to watch it. If you do want to watch it, the entire episode is on YouTube for free.

10/10.

Only Connect (2008– )

Only Connect: Requires 2 AAA batteries and a Bachelor's degree in absolutely everything

[2/10 · 24 September 2023]

Ok. Time to review a show that needs absolutely no explanation. Only Connect.

A good game show should have entertainment, humour, an audience and the ability to either play along at home or be able to watch the show for the whole run time.

This has none of it.

Only Connect has a host who would make the Annoying Orange roll away, a lack of humour (or humour that most people won't understand), no audience whatsoever or maybe an audience that you would expect from a boring TEDTalk or a bad stand up, and there's no way 100% of the audience could play along at home because not everyone knows about the difference between paint colours or the dates of when books were destroyed in wars or whatever. It's a game show where you NEED knowledge, luck won't get you anywhere. The upside is the Wall. It's a cool round where you have the best chance of getting somewhere at home. In fact, there's a website called PuzzGrid where there are different Walls you can play.

My recommendation: don't watch unless you know as much as Albert Einstein and you want to be bored. I, for one, wouldn't be seen dead wanting to look at Egyptian hieroglyphics for an hour.

2/10.

The Cube (2009– )

Underrated

[10/10 · 24 September 2023]

The Cube. A show I miss with all my heart. It's such a classic that I think should be revived, obviously without Philip Schofield and not receiving the Weakest Link affect by just giving it celebrity specials. It's not a show that requires general knowledge, it's a game of skill and reflexes that is fun to watch and the stakes are definitely high. What makes this better is that only ONE player has won The Cube, and that's Mo Farah in an Olympic special. That in itself shows that winning this show is a challenge. If it is brought back, keep the one player format instead of the two player one in the revival in 2020 because it's a lot more challenging then.

Definitely a 10/10.

Matilda: The Musical (II) (2022)

Take the Roald Dahl part out

[1/10 · 8 July 2023]

Matilda the Musical. Where do I begin? I don't like musicals so my expectations were next to none. "Why don't you like musicals?" Well it's simple. Every 3 minutes there has to be a song alongside a corny dance. Yes I know that's the whole point but there isn't much story to indulge in musicals due to the songs ripping it apart.

So what was Matilda the Musical really like?

Terrible.

I found Matilda incredibly unlikeable in this film. Compare it to the original. We wanted Matilda to defeat Miss Trunchbull. But in this movie, I wanted her to experience the worst due to her being down right annoying and the amount of singing she did. The title: Roald Dahl's Matilda the Musical is blasphemous, simply because this film has about 20% of the original book in it and the rest is made up! I wanted to at least finish this movie and say it was watchable but it wasn't. Don't get me wrong the acting is good and I know everyone put a lot of time and effort into this movie, but it wasn't for me.

1/10.

Up (2009)

The best Pixar movie of all time.

[10/10 · 2 July 2023]

Up is an example of how to convey themes that children might not understand in a way that they CAN understand. Up is definitely known for the first 15 minutes, and I consider this as some of the best writing for an animated movie. When you're a kid, you don't know what's happening sometimes, but as you get older, you know that Carl has experienced a miscarriage and his wife dying, and he doesn't know how to handle it, hence why he gets really tense about moving to the retirement home and wanting to fulfil Ellie's dream of going to Paradise Falls. Up manages to combine humour, sad themes and adventure into one movie, and it is, in my opinion, the best Pixar movie of all time and definitely deserved that Best Picture Oscar nomination.

Lightyear (2022)

Andy must be Stevie Wonder if this was his favourite movie

[3/10 · 25 June 2023]

Lightyear had potential. It was a prequel to Toy Story. But Pixar thought that this was a cash grab and wrecked it completely.

The first half an hour or so was brilliant. Lines referencing the original, lots of action and pretty funny. Then, once Buzz completes the mission, the film is terrible. The side characters are drier than a brick, the plot is mediocre at best and the action isn't action. It wasn't funny, with the exception of a joke when Buzz tries to do the 'To Infinity and Beyond' finger connection with Izzy but everyone thinks it's either a pull your finger or... yeah never mind.

The villain is supposed to Zurg but it's Buzz? It surprised me to an extent but he isn't a good villain. It's the worst in the Toy Story franchise and feels like a merchandise ad for Sox and all the other characters. And if it was Andy's favourite movie, why was his room cowboy themed for years before finally getting a makeover and a buzz toy?

Toy Story 4 (2019)

Falling but not with style.

[6/10 · 25 June 2023]

Toy Story 3 was the perfect ending to an almost perfect franchise. Then Toy Story 4 was announced and earned Pixar another billion dollars at the box office. Here's my review.

The animation is the best in the franchise, it's clean, smooth and no errors that I could see like Buzz going through the car track in Toy Story 2. The music is pretty weak and definitely doesn't compare to songs like 'You've Got a Friend in Me' or 'Strange Things'. The plot has some potential but I would've preferred to have this with young Andy rather than Bonnie as I wasn't a big fan of her and her parents. Speaking of, the characters were mediocre. Buzz was dumbed down to make up for the Gen Z audience having the attention span like paper in wind. Mr Potato Head is an underrated, funny character but in all fairness to Pixar, the actor, Don Rickles, passed away two years prior to the film, therefore they and Ron's family decided to use pre existing lines. I found that pretty useless as, unlike Toy Story 3, he wasn't that significant to the plot and had barely any screen time. Bo Peep coming back was pretty good, so that was a plus, however some of the new characters couldn't force me to feel for them in any way. The 'villain', Gabby Gabby, was an absolutely shocking attempt at an antagonist. The dummies, however, were brilliant at getting in Woody and Forky's way, if they were the villains, this movie would be better. I think Gabby Gabby is the worst Toy Story villain, no where near Lotso, Sid or Zurg. Then we have the ending. Toy Story has never provided us with a bad ending and this keeps the tradition going. It wasn't Toy Story 3's ending per se, but still redeems the movie.

If I were to rank this along side Toy Story 1-3 and Lightyear, this would ironically be 4th ahead of Lightyear but behind the rest.