michigindie Reviews

A Climax of Blue Power (1974)

Hardcore Psycho Cop Thriller

[10/10 · 28 February 2024]

Excellent hardcore take on the corrupt/psycho cop thriller genre. Handsome and hung Eddie is a loner whose dream was to join the LAPD - a dream that was shattered when he was rejected for not meeting the 5'10" height requirement.

Stuck in a low-paying, dead-end job as a night watchman in a shabby warehouse, Eddie has plenty of time to fume about the life he'll never have. So he does the next best thing: He buys a police uniform and outfits his car to look like an LAPD cruiser. In the dark hours before his night watchman shift starts, he cruises the streets of LA, looking for hookers and other women deserving to be "busted." When he finds them, he makes the arrest--so his women think--but once alone in his car, Eddie lays his hand on the table: He'll drop the charges if they put out for him. This they do, and we get to watch as angry, bitter Eddie rapes them every which way before ditching them.

The real LA police become aware that a horny citizen is impersonating a cop to extort sex from various women, but without a good lead, their case is stymied.

Meanwhile, as Eddie relaxes on the beach he overhears an argument in a nearby house which ends in murder. Worse, the woman's crime is labeled a suicide by investigators and their ineptitude only enrages Eddie further. Soon he hatches a plan to exact sexual revenge on the murderess, while taunting the tall-but-incompetent LAPD...but who will emerge victorious?

The Black Room (1982)

Intelligent and Atmospheric

[8/10 · 11 December 2023]

Although I was an avid thriller movie fan in high school when this came out, it somehow escaped me. Upon hearing of it for the first time recently, I watched it and was pleasantly surprised by its overall good quality, handsome/well dressed leading men and moody score.

This is primarily a psychological thriller with an intelligent script and a deliberate pace. The writer, director and cast accurately depict the bored, horny husband looking for kicks and the tearful wife who becomes a hard, bitter feminist as a result. Thrown into the mix are a pair of siblings whose hilltop mansion is something of a spider's web for the unlucky.

Although other reviewers found the film to be sleazy and raunchy, this reviewer considers the smut scenes to be quite tame. Curiously, most of the coupling is done woman-on-top, save one very brief interlude between a college punk and the bitter, weepy wife. Had this been released primarily in Europe, it probably would have done well; American audiences, on the contrary, tend to be much less sophisticated and patient. Americans love farce and other forms of low-brow comedy, usually favoring the ridiculous. "The Black Room" however, is at its core a serious character study with a few dabs of horror thrown in towards the end.

Worth a look for adults interested in "grown up horror".

Hotel Fear (1978)

Luc Merenda Steals the Show

[10/10 · 30 September 2023]

This is an interesting film with interesting characters and plot. Like many Italian films, it takes its time and probably would play better if 10-15 minutes shorter. Yet even as is, it is quite engrossing.

A drab, plain-looking teenaged girl helps her mother run their shabby hotel during the final days of WWII. The mother's days are spent working, preparing meals and tending to guests while her nights are spent in an improbable affair with a wanted man hiding in an isolated room.

The dreary teen girl's days are spent pining for her father, a pilot in the war, waiting for his letters which never come. Her nights are spent dodging the flirts, propositions and lewd suggestions of the hotel guests-all of whom inexplicably find her sexually irresistible.

Although the film is told from the drab teen girl's point of view and she gets a bit too much screen time, it is Luc Merenda (as a horny gigolo banging an old lady until he can find where she has hidden her fortune in diamonds), who steals the show. Luc's character is handsome, sexy and -- best of all -- occasionally quite nude.

Things pick up during the second half of the movie, when a pair of gangsters (one of whom is extremely handsome), show up at the hotel and reveal themselves to be confederates of Luc's gigolo character. Soon after, the gigolo scratches his itch and learns to regret it, after which the tedious coming-of-age teen girl stuff ends and the film becomes an exciting thriller bordering on horror.

There is no English dialogue track available for this title and it's a shame. Reading subtitles distracts one from the screen and this is a movie which deserves the viewer's full attention.

El siniestro doctor Orloff (1984)

Dr. Orloff Meets the 1980s

[5/10 · 28 July 2023]

Jess Franco resurrects his Dr. Orloff franchise again, in a mixed bag of plot themes and characters borrowed from his 1962 "Awful Dr. Orloff."

The doctor is there, "Melissa" is there (still scarred in a trancelike state), the blind "Morpho" character is there (this time named "Andros," as in Franco's 1964 "Dr. Orloff's Monster." The opening scene recreates the opening of the 1962 film, with a drunken prostitute coming home alone late at night, only to find Morpho/Andros hiding in the closet, waiting to abduct her. There are many other plot similarities to follow.

One big difference is that this time it's Dr. Orloff's adult son who is doing the killing in an attempt to restore the face and life of Melissa. This time, Melissa is not the daughter of Dr. Orloff but the mother of his son...and their relationship is borderline incestuous. The plot revolves around the son seeking and killing hookers (sometimes with Morpho/Andros in tow), to use in experiments he hopes will restore mom's face and vitality.

Although set in the punked out, slovenly attired '80s, the film does manage a sort of mood or dreamlike tone. What is perhaps most surprising is the lack of sex, especially considering this was a Franco film shot in the postmodern era. With the son and his henchman cruising for prostitutes night after night, there is a perfect opportunity to depict him and Morpho/Andros taking care of their business with the hookers before dispatching them. However, this does not happen and nobody really gets laid during the course of the movie.

Franco fans will enjoy seeing Howard Vernon late in his career, and handsome. Antonio Mayans is easy on the eyes, even if he never takes his clothes off (surprising for someone who did so much softcore for Franco in other movies). But the absence of Gothic Ephemera--gloomy moors, crumbling castles, classy late Victorian suits and dresses, etc., results in a cheaper looking, less impressive film overall.

Los ritos sexuales del diablo (1982)

Atmospheric Gothic Erotica

[10/10 · 11 July 2023]

Disregard those negative MST3K-era trolls - though not for everyone (what film is?), "Black Candles" is a delectable treat for lovers of classic Euro horror. As with any film, the way to enjoy it is to know what you're getting into, so you can skip if it's not to your taste, or dig in, if it is.

The story revolves around a young couple who visit a beautiful English manor house after a mysterious death in the family, of decidedly UN-natural causes. Each are gradually seduced, sexually and psychologically, by their host and her circle of close friends, whom we soon discover are members of a Satanic cult.

As with other marvelous Euro-Gothic sex films like "Virgin Witch," "Satan's Blood" and "Beyond Terror," sex is a key aspect of the devilish ceremonies. Director Larraz makes this clear with a succession of mostly titillating softcore scenes which unfortunately veer into lesbianism far too often but otherwise keep things percolating. Overall, the film makes these sinister rituals and Coven life look like great fun; you may find yourself wishing you belonged to one!

Cinematography is rich and velvety, ably showcasing the eerie English countryside and richly furnished manor house. The altar scenes are a must, particularly the final one, which is one of the film's most erotic passages.

Highly recommended for adults over 21 who like their films creepy and sexy.

Love Brides of the Blood Mummy (1973)

How This Film Could Have Been Saved

[7/10 · 28 April 2023]

Gothic castles, moody English countryside, sex...what is there not to like? There is a lot to like about this film, yet somehow it does miss its mark. Despite the great locations, fine period wardrobes and excellent cinematography, a scripting misstep and excessively contemporary score leaven what should have been a really great Gothic thriller from the '70s.

The plot is simple: The Lord of a crumbling castle brings back a mummy from Egypt for study. Upon opening the sarcophagus, he finds the mummy perfectly preserved. Clues left on a papyrus lead him to a method for bringing it back to life-a deed he soon regrets, as the mummy imprisons him in his own dungeon and proceeds to kill a host of unappealing '70s starlets.

Most of the film is spent depicting these women being killed by a decidedly un-macho mummy, who "rapes" them before death. While this writer enjoys a good cinematic rape scene (such as in 1978's "I Spit On Your Grave," or EuroCine's "Rape"), these assaults are totally un-sexy. With his fruity Beatles wig, Liz Taylor eye makeup and gold lame skirt, the mummy is neither scary or manly enough to be sexy.

This film could have been saved by canceling the mummy character entirely and replacing it with the son of the Baron who lived in the castle. The distraught Baron could use alchemy to revive his dead son, only for the (preferably hot) young man to go on a rape and blood-drinking rampage to sustain himself. This would have made the sex scenes a lot hotter and the visuals a lot more consistently Gothic.

Nevertheless, worth a look.

Vampyres (1974)

Atmospheric Euro Gothic with Modern Setting

[8/10 · 25 April 2023]

Jose Larraz was very good at setting a mood, as his films of the early 1970s demonstrate. This is one of them. English countryside during early Autumn, foggy mornings, a Gothic mansion and plenty of bedroom fun make for a moody and stylish film.

The plot is simple: Two lesbians are murdered in the mansion by an unseen gunman whom we presume to be a hit man. Years later, a man checks into the local hotel, and is recognized by the manager as a guest from years ago--a distinction the guest denies, though it's clear he's lying. The implication is, he must have been the hit man who did the killing years before.

Meanwhile, the two dead lesbians are back, hitching rides with young men to their Gothic mansion, where they seduce and kill the men. Now our hotel guest friend finds himself picking up the "butch" and he quickly falls under her spell.

Amazingly, he survives his first night of bloodletting and begins a quest to solve the mystery of the house and its grotesque occupants.

The film would be quite good without the frequent lesbian scenes, which are many and prolonged. Surprisingly, the man-on-woman sex is barely present, save one brief scene and a few other even briefer implications of sex (rather than depictions). It's a shame, since the male/female scenes play much better and are far less offensive to the viewer.

Larraz regular and cinema eyesore Karl Lanchbury is back yet again (couldn't Larraz find an attractive male actor in all of England?) in a small supporting role. Debit Lanchbury and the two leading "ladies," credit the house, the male lead and Larraz's direction. Worth a look.

Deported Women of the SS Special Section (1976)

Has Its Moments for a Weaker Entry in the Genre

[4/10 · 5 April 2023]

As with all these Nazi exploitation films, this is not for everyone. However, for those who do enjoy the genre, this will probably be perceived as a less engaging sample when compared to "The Beast In Heat," "Gestapo's Last Orgy" or the deliciously erotic "SS Experiment Love Camp."

The story here is extremely thin; women arrive at a POW camp where they engage in frequent lesbianism and a tedious plot to escape. The SWV crowd may respond to the grossness of the girl/girl scenes, but other audiences will find these a massive turnoff. Male/female sex is almost completely absent and is of the very tame "huggy-kissy" variety, rather than softcore humping.

John Steiner easily steals the show as the most charismatic performer. He also gets to do something quite interesting when he forces his manservant to submit to him sexually - revenge sex for the manservant's tryst with Steiner's old girlfriend. As so often happens with these films, the producers go out of their way to make the male coupling grotesque by casting a fat, bald, old and ugly actor as the object of Steiner's lust. Notice they did not cast someone hot and youthful, like Cesare Barro, for the role!

All in all this is a rainy day time-waster, okay if you're in the mood but not as juicy and exciting as some of its contemporaries.

The Red Nights of the Gestapo (1977)

Classy, Elegant Entry in the Genre

[10/10 · 29 March 2023]

"Red Nights of the Gestapo," as it is known in the US, is an unusual example of Nazi-exploitation films. Here the focus is on story rather than smut (sometimes regrettably), thus endowing the film with a certain credibility, even if it may disappoint viewers looking for softcore erotic horror like "Beat In Heat" or "Ilsa She Wolfe of the SS."

Production values are excellent: Cinematography, sets, locations, wardrobe, editing and score all present exceptionally well. Whereas most Nazi-exploitation movies are saddled with nearly all-female casts and endless scenes of lesbianism, "Red Nights of the Gestapo" gives us a (handsome) male lead and several equally handsome male supporting actors.

Boffing is kept to a minimum, sad to say; although there is an early scene where one woman takes on three good looking Nazi soldiers for a wild foursome, the scene ends before the men have a chance to drop their trousers. Not until around the 88-minute mark (in the uncut 110-minute version), do we get a real sex scene, in which one of the Nazi guests plows a prostitute in the castle lobby while a butler holds her in place and a violinist provides background music!

Aside from these two vignettes, there are many mildly risque moments throughout, which amount to little more than PG-13 tease. It's a shame, because with such excellent production values and a (mostly) attractive cast, this could have been the definitive Nazi-exploitation film, had it not pulled its punches.

Well worth seeking out and long overdue for a blu-ray release. Check it out.

SS Experiment Love Camp (1976)

A Better Film Than Legend Would Have It

[10/10 · 24 March 2023]

Although this genre of erotic horror film is admittedly not for everyone, those who do enjoy raunchy retro Euro horror will find a few delectable morsels here.

The basic premise is really good--a Nazi medical camp has been established during WWII for the purpose of conducting various unethical experiments on prisoners of war. A group of fairly hot German soldiers arrives on orders, to participate in the latest program: Having intercourse daily with various female POWs to teach them a lesson and identify which of the men is the most virile.

The film shines during the brief and few barracks scenes, when the handsome, bare-chested and muscular men lounge around in their boxers comparing notes about the women they are assigned to plow night after night (all in the same room together, as the medical staff watches and takes notes). Even better are a handful of brief-but-convincing intercourse scenes, showing the boys doing what boys do when given a willing partner.

Less entertaining are the obligatory women behind bars scenes. As in the other entries in this genre, these scenes give the impression that WWII was staffed and fought by women and that women were everywhere you looked on military bases. Nothing could be further from the truth and these scenes, along with the obligatory boy-meets-girl romance subplot, bring the film to a grinding halt.

Things kick in to high gear during the third act, when we discover why the lead officer is looking for the most virile stud he can find...what follows is a wild 20-minute ride filled with surprises and a fairly satisfying conclusion.

Overall, not nearly as bad as the other reviewers would have it.

The Plague of the Zombies (1966)

Classy Gothic Style and Engaging Cast

[8/10 · 19 December 2022]

An interesting film that has a similar look and feel to "The Witches" (1966) and "Dr. Blood's Coffin" (1961). Although it shares many sets, plot points and actors with its companion film, "The Reptile," "Plague of the Zombies" is very much its own film and still packs a punch today.

People are dying in this picturesque village, and no one knows why. The town doctor is unable to perform autopsies because the Squire, Clive Hamilton (played by elegantly hunky John Carson), forbids it. When the town doctor writes his old professor asking for help, he gets it...and the good professor gets more than he bargained for as he uncovers the mystery of the village plague.

The film looks good, thanks to excellent color cinematography, richly detailed sets, beautiful Victorian costumes, and some handsome (if under-utilized), gentlemen. Hot and sexy Alex Davion appears (all too briefly) as the head of Squire Hamilton's horny Young Bloods, whose best moment comes when they attempt to gang-rape the leading lady after she deliberately spoils their fox hunt. This being a British film made in 1966, the scene doesn't go nearly as far as Ingmar Bergman did six years prior with his "Virgin Spring," but it does offer a tantalizing, earthy moment in an otherwise kid-friendly thriller.

Director John Gilling does a good job of implying other smutty goodness as the five lads draw high card to determine in which order they'll ravish their captive. They do so quite casually, implying it is an experience they've enjoyed sharing before. If you watch carefully, you'll also notice a few veiled suggestions that Alice-and after her death, Sylvia-are or will be sex slaves to the men, since they're put under a mesmeric spell and lured to the mansion time and again with no memory of the aftermath. Certainly they won't be working in the mine, so the implication is clear that they're there to serve another, more prurient purpose.

Despite this Johnston-era restraint, the movie is exciting and briskly paced, and well worth watching.

Dreamaniac (1986)

The Spotlight is on the Guys - Finally!

[10/10 · 19 October 2022]

I love this movie. It is drenched in '80s ambience and ephemera. I've seen it several times, and always found it an easy, fun watch. And oh, did I mention it's loaded with hot guys?

Admittedly, the script is nothing - but that can be said of dozens of films with legions of adoring fans. This is not a film you watch for great storytelling, but for the eye candy, the mood, the mindless humor and popcorn-munching fun of it. A handful of college teens hold a party in the house of a young man obsessed with witchery. While the party bombs, at least one party favor is a big hit - a murderous guest with a lethal taste in hazing!

While other teen sex comedies of the '80s (and beyond) drown the viewer in massive overdoses of estrogen, this is the ONE film that gives you some beefcake lusciousness to enjoy. There are five hot guys featured here, most of whom undress and/or get it on at some point in the film. Yeah!

After enduring scores of bimbo-obsessed exploitation films made during the '70s and '80s, it's so nice to finally have ONE alternative that gives us good looking men to drool over. My tongue was hanging out for half the film, and if you have a good eye for male pulchritude, yours will, also!

Rocco's 69 Dicks Gang Bang Challenge: Malena & Martina (2020 Video)

The Big Bang

[10/10 · 6 October 2022]

This film proves that "bigger is better" and that "the more, the merrier," as dozens of guys experience the comradery of fornicating in a gang bang setting. The action is divided between two days - on day one, the guys have a field day taking care of business on a grand scale. There is tag-teaming, DP, and a highly erotic, natural lust that permeates the proceedings, thanks to the freedom the men are given to do what they are there to do.

Day two is another story. Once again, twin narcissists Malena and Martina start things off with an exceedingly unpleasant verbal complaint session about the previous day's action. They ridicule and criticize the men, for whom they obviously feel nothing but contempt (Malena and Martina are both voracious lesbians, as the film makes clear later on). Rocco mediates, the voice of reason against the poisonous remarks of the leading ladies. About 20 minutes into day two, the sex finally begins...

There are still some great moments on day two, but nothing as hot as day one - the men are obviously put off by the hostile remarks and stinging criticisms made by the women. Only a handful of guys get any action on day two - the women quickly tire out and the film degenerates into a long and tedious lesbian encounter, during which the majority of the men are given no alternative but to relieve themselves.

But don't let that stop you from watching it - this movie is still totally worth it for day ONE alone! The quality of the guys is generally excellent, though not quite on par with those seen in Czechoslovakia's "50 Guy Cream Pie" and "65 Guy Cream Pie" films from 2004. Also lacking is the cream pie element from the aforementioned Czech films. But the raw energy and sexuality of the so many men taking care of their business with only two females is still very hot.

You'll see similar action, on a smaller scale, in some of the Rocco's "Academy" films. Check them out.

The Elevator (1972)

Jim Frost and His Buddies Get Lucky with the Tarts

[7/10 · 30 September 2022]

Despite its low budget, this film is generally pretty good, thanks to a (mostly) attractive cast and some virile, potent work by its leading men.

The plot is simple: A man (Jim Frost) and woman are stuck in a stalled elevator. To pass the time, the recount sexual adventures past, leading to a succession of erotic flashbacks. Ultimately, Jim is so turned on he decides to have his way with the woman, leading to a gonad-draining finale on the floor of the elevator.

As will happen with most '70s hardcore, the camera frequently eschews the sex we are there for, in favor of endless closeups of various female faces (yawn). After all, where else in the world will you see one of THOSE? Consequently, there isn't as much sex as you'd think - sometimes it only lasts a few seconds, while the rest of the scene lingers and lingers and lingers on some woman's face...ugh.

That said, what sex there is, is quite well done. There are several highlights, one of the most satisfying (albeit painfully brief) is when Mr. Frost and his buddy share a bed with their respective girlfriends. The two men mount their partners and are enjoying deep Missionary action, when Frost's girlfriend tries to cop out. To appease her, the boys trade ho's and resume the action.

One of the best things about '70s porn is, that everyone is in a normal human state - no shaved heads, no shaved chests, no shaved crotches, no tattoos, no body piercings. This is sex as I remember it, for I vividly recall the "natural" world and how much better people looked before all the affectations and epidemic obesity.

Worth a look.

Fraternity of Horror (1964)

Homage to '50s Sci Fi Films

[5/10 · 26 September 2022]

After listening to two hot guitarists play a couple of good dance tunes at a Frat party, three unbearably handsome young men and their dates visit a deserted mansion, where a fourth hot guy awaits to set them up on a frat hazing/scavenger hunt with a cash payoff.

Upon arriving at the house, the entourage finds their fraternity contact has been killed by someone - or something - from out of this world. Locked in the house, the next two hours are spent trying to escape and/or find the killer before they themselves become victims.

Considering this was someone's very first attempt at film making, it isn't bad. Yes, the script needs a lot of work, but the attractive gents make it quite watchable, making the viewer nostalgic for the days of good haircuts, chiseled faces, athletic physiques, handsome wardrobes and a refreshing absence of tattoos and drug culture ephemera.

Go into it with your expectations realistic and enjoy it for what it is. I did.

Flossie (1974)

Classy, Well Photographed Smut Fest

[7/10 · 22 August 2022]

Poor Jack Archer...he's handsome, intelligent, well dressed and well hung. But he's trapped in a world of lesbians obsessed with other women. Fortunately, a few of them are willing to spread it for him on occasion. Unfortunately, the latest object of his lust, "Flossie," is not one of them.

Although Flossie is willing to orally service him now and then (and vice versa), our boy Jack has to look elsewhere if he wants to sail his gondola up the Grand Canal. Will this ever change? We don't know, but Jack, Flossie and Flossie's guardian each have a grand old time (and so do we) watching as they narrate flashbacks of their previous sexual encounters.

We see Jack drilling the pipes of various Euro-tarts at orgies and Gothic chateaus...we see Flossie diving for Tuna at the girl's school...and we see the guardian taking on an impressively endowed (and fully aroused) Jack during a previous rendezvous, when she wore a wig and he thought she was someone else.

While most of the sex is softcore, there are at least two scenes (both involving unnamed extras) where vaginal penetration was taking place. This involves a blonde party guest at the orgy, who is in so deep there are only the briefest side-glimpses of what's going on; and at the girl's school, where a man who bones one of Flossie's classmates is clearly "in," but the high angle and distance obscure most of the action.

"Flossie" is still worthwhile as a well produced and exceptionally well-photographed Euro-film. Handsome Jack Frank, whose second film this was, is onscreen much of the time and he makes the movie, no pun intended. (He later went on to hardcore before retiring from films in the mid '80s.)

As will happen in '70s smut films, the camera frequently eschews the sex shots we're there for, and instead lingers and lingers and lingers on closeups of various female faces (after all, where else will you see one of THOSE, right? Gag.)

Worth a look.

The Hanging Woman (1973)

Atmospheric '70s Gothic Thriller

[8/10 · 1 August 2022]

This is an interesting film, that few people today remember or discuss. While it may not represent the best of the Gothic genre, it still has some very good aspects to it.

The setting is the 19th century village of Skopje (not Scotland, as other reviewers claim). The ancient town is modest but marvelous - stone houses and cobblestone roads winding through the valley, surrounded by spectacular mountains. Unlike Hammer, Hollywood and most Italian Gothics, they wisely shot the exteriors in late Winter - and the gloomy skies, leafless trees and damp, foggy streets really add to the ambience. The exception is the cemetery footage, all of which was clearly shot 6 months later, during sunny, cheery weather better suited to a beach party film. These sequences shatter the aforementioned ambience. Nevertheless, interiors and late Victorian costumes are also excellent and do much to recapture the mood.

The stock score is great - utilizing many of the best cues from 1966's "The Murder Clinic" and 1963's "The Ghost." That base guitar is put to especially good use.

The cast is a mixed bag...other reviewers sing the praises of Paul Naschy in the film, however I shall not. Short, porcine and stoic, Naschy was a strange choice for a film actor. Here he plays a gravedigger who digs girls in graves. As usual, his love scene in the film is with a redhead (apparently he refused to make out with any starlet who wasn't a carrot top in his films...how odd).

That said, the real weakest link here is leading man Stan Cooper, whose ugly Beatles haircut is distractingly period-incorrect for the 1880s-90s. His character is supposed to be a strong man of the world, yet he's wearing the floppy hairdo of a little girl. This really spoils much of the film for me. Gianni Garko would have been a MUCH better choice; so would Tony Kendall, Nino Castelnuovo, or John Steiner.

Gerard Tichy (Horror, Face of Terror, Pieces), is his usual, excellent self as the doctor. Isarco Ravaioli is handsome and proper manly as the mayor. Diankik, of "Sweet Sound of Death" fame, is back in a decidedly less triumphant role; here she is the defeated housekeeper whose hatred of her mistress is bubbling over - to hugely entertaining effect - in almost all of her scenes.

Don't let its "slow burn" status put you off - there are some truly ghoulish and grotesque scenes in this film, which make it quite worthwhile. I found it entertaining and hope you will, also.

The Ray Bradbury Theater (1985–1992)

There's a Reason For Its Relative Obscurity

[1/10 · 17 July 2022]

I dimly remember when this showed premiered. I looked at it once or twice at the time, found it dull, then forgot about it. Decades later, I rediscovered it on cable TV in marathon format, and thus gave it another try.

What a revelation. It's true that one sees things through new eyes many years after the fact. For my own part, I grew up thinking Ray Bradbury was a great science fiction writer, largely because everyone else said so. But watching his series makes me realize he wasn't a very good writer by my definition, at all.

The series is often somewhat autobiographical - time after time, an episode will revolve around an excruciatingly unattractive, geeky boy (usually tricked out in period-incorrect '30s duds), who longs to be a writer...sound familiar? The ugly boy is universally despised by the attractive, cool boys on the block, who heckle and bully him relentlessly. Invariably, some Cover Girl type female character gives the ugly geeky boy the attention and adulation he craves, and at the fadeout he winds up with a highly improbable upper hand over the attractive, cool guys who hate him.

This recurrent theme in Bradbury's episodes is an epiphany insight into his own youth. But it's not the worst part of the show.

The worst aspect of this series is the dialogue. Repetitive themes aside, Bradbury's dialogue is improbable at best -- wordy, flowery and inane at worst. Time and time again I find myself shaking my head as I watch, saying "nobody talks like that. Nobody EVER talked like that!"

Apparently, even as an adult, Bradbury's real life dorkiness isolated him from real people enough that he couldn't get the hang of how people really talk and act. There are two types of dialogue: the kind that reads well on the written page, and the kind that sounds natural when delivered by an actor. They're not always the same thing - a simple lesson Bradbury clearly never mastered.

Some may regard this series as the poor man's "Twilight Zone" or "Night Gallery." To me, it's closer to an amateur film festival experiment with the wrong writer heading the project. Possibly viewers whose experience parallels that of Bradbury's may get something out of this show - but for everyone else, this is merely a time-honored disappointment.

Curse of the Fly (1965)

Underrated and Atmospheric Gothic/Sci Fi Hybrid

[10/10 · 30 December 2021]

It pains me to see so many condescending reviews of this fine classic. To a postmodern generation raised on non-stop action, cartoonish CGI, endless propane explosions and smart aleck characters, this film probably seems dry. But to someone who grew up with its gritty, black and white creepiness, it is a gem.

I like this film for the very same reason others dislike it - it's nothing at all like the previous two films. As much as I love "The Fly" (1958) and as enjoyable as "Return of the Fly" (1959) are, I personally feel that "Return" was the weak entry. It basically rehashed the key elements of the first film, in a standard '50s B-film way.

"Curse of the Fly" brings new style, new plot ideas and new situations to the franchise. The music is elegant and marvelous, with a recurring piano theme that echoes of the leading lady's former career as a concert pianist. Much of the film is shot at night in and around a sprawling, Gothic mansion - wonderful!

Filmed in November of 1964, "Curse" borrows a terrifying element from the 1962 film, "Brain That Wouldn't Die." SomeTHING is locked inside an outhouse closet. It is fed through a slit in the door and is unpredictably dangerous. Roger Corman's 1963 opus "The Haunted Castle" also borrowed this idea from "Brain," but "Curse" seems to handle it better; one feels a real sense of dread each time the dilapidated outbuilding is shown.

In the late 1970s, "Curse of the Fly" was shown occasionally (in grainy, 16mm pan and scan prints) on Detroit's "Saturday Night Chiller Movie Double Feature." To this day, it's opening scene, music and final "Is This the End?" title card bring back SUCH wonderful memories of those UHF days, when there were only three or four channels on TV and they all signed off after the news, or at latest, the Saturday night late show.

I'm thankful a new generation is discovering this film on blu ray; the medium restores much of the film's elegance and beauty. Perhaps with time, it will be appreciated as the wonderful Gothic/Sci Fi hybrid it really is.

Bakterion (1982)

Has Its Moments

[7/10 · 17 October 2021]

Not-bad little sci fi movie about a virus created in a lab, and the researcher who accidentally becomes exposed to it. The results of his infection are truly ghastly, thanks to some marvelous practical makeup effects.

The movie hits the ground running with the scientist's exposure; soon after the opening titles, a couple parks in a dark alley to make out. While in flagrente delictu, they are attacked and killed by the now monstrous scientist.

Soon afterwards, the government assigns their hottest agent, sexy David Warbeck, to work on the case of the missing scientist and the sudden rash of homicides. A search of the scientist's house ends in tragedy, but the monster is just getting started.

The pace picks up about halfway through the movie, with an attack in a movie theater, a bimbo in the shower and - in a genuinely suspenseful and frightening sequence - an attack on the priest and choir boys in a church.

The final 20 minutes are best, as we finally get a good look at the ghastly monster and the search for him leads Warbeck and the cops into the creepy sewers beneath the city. The ending is quite satisfying.

The movie's strongpoints include Mr. Warbeck, and the numerous "woof" shots he provides. Terrific makeup effects and some of the later music cues make the second half a pretty satisfying monster movie. The weaknesses are some pacing issues in the first half of the film, plus the casting of some painfully unattractive actors in the supporting roles (government bureaucrats, police chiefs, etc.).

Watch it with an open mind and, if you're in the mood for a drive-in monster movie, you probably won't be disappointed.

Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil (1991)

Twilight of Slasher Era Gem

[10/10 · 20 August 2021]

Some films are so much a product of their time, they go largely unnoticed and/or unappreciated at the time of their release. Years later, in retrospect, viewers who initially disregarded them often find the films hold up on their own as solid entries worthy of respect.

"Prom Night IV" is an excellent example of this--if you were a young adult during the '80s and very early '90s, this film will bring back memories of a culture and civilization that vanished decades ago.

The story and screenplay are solid, with something for everyone: Mystery, suspense, spice, atmosphere -- and horror. Locations are perfect and shown to good advantage by the fine cinematography. Paul Zaza's score adds a great deal of dark ambience to the proceedings, and the likable cast remain genuine and spontaneous throughout.

There are a number of unique virtues to this entry, including a higher than usual hot-guy quotient and a well photographed bedroom romp.

"Prom Night IV" is more than nostalgia--it's an entertaining night at the drive-in during the twilight years of moviedom's Golden Age of Slashers.

Devil's Kiss (1976)

Unsung Gem of Atmospheric Euro-sleaze

[10/10 · 1 July 2021]

It's surprising (and disappointing) to see how low the score is on this fabulous slice of '70s Euro-Gothic sleaze. My suspicion is that the wrong people are checking this out; who knows what they're expecting? Anyone with eyes can look at the ad art, read the synopsis, and understand what they're getting. If viewers hate erotic '70s Euro Gothics - why did they choose to watch it? Don't tell me they thought it would be overproduced, over-budgeted, over-hyped junk like "Star Wars!"

"Devil's Kiss" epitomizes what the second half of a drive-in bill used to look like. It's quirky and refreshingly unpredictable, thanks to its modest European indie-film pedigree. It's dripping with atmosphere, making it perfect for late-night viewing. It's visually appealing and at times, quite titillating. So what's not to like?

As with classics like "Kill, Baby, Kill," one doesn't watch this movie to see a life-altering, soul-shattering plot. One watches to willingly succumb to the dreamy erotic spell of a cinematic witch's brew.

Ten stars.

Spartacus and the Ten Gladiators (1964)

Beefcake + Action = Entertainment

[10/10 · 23 June 2021]

This was the second of three "Ten Gladiators" films made during the '60s, each starring Dan Vadis.

Like the first film, "The Ten Gladiators," this one is based on characters from history, freely adapting a fictional story within the historical setting. Consequently, the plot reflects the oppression and brutality of Antiquity, albeit with an occasional sprinkling of humor to lighten things up.

Director Nick Nostro keeps the pace going fast and furious, and the film does cover a lot of ground in 90 minutes. The characters are likable; the ten gladiators are handsome and appealing; the locations and sets are impressive; the score is excellent. It should be noted that one must see "Spartacus and the Ten Gladiators" in its native CinemaScope format to appreciate how dynamic and well produced it really is. Those blurry, faded 4:3 16mm TV prints don't do it justice.

Leading man Dan Vadis was never more handsome than he was in this and its follow-up "Triumph of the Ten Gladiators." The same can be said for the other nine warriors, whose physiques provide ample eye candy during the movie's slower passages.

Like all pre-21st century films, the viewer must have a normal human attention span to enjoy this motion picture. Consequently, contemporary audiences, unable to stop texting or smoking pot while "watching," will likely be too preoccupied expressing their usual disdain and condescension to enjoy it...

Choose not to make that mistake yourself.

Asylum Erotica (1971)

Hugely Atmospheric Sex Horror Hybrid

[8/10 · 13 June 2021]

Once again, nobody does it like the Italians. During the 1960s, they mastered the Gothic thriller ("Castle of Blood," "Crypt of the Vampire," too many others to name). Using authentic Medieval locations, attractive actors and beautiful midnight music, the Italians were experts at setting a late-night mood.

By 1970, when this film was shot, movie censorship had finally loosened up to the point where (almost) anything went. "Slaughter Hotel" was one of the first Italian films to capitalize on this new freedom, and it shows: The movie is as much a sex film as it is a thriller-thus guaranteeing men would love it as much as women would hate it.

There were, however, still a few taboo subjects for movies in 1970: While sexuality was becoming an acceptable topic to depict in mainstream cinema, it was within limits. Only women were allowed to strip down and get it on, with the (unfortunate) result that "Slaughter Hotel" is wall-to-wall estrogen. No male nudity is present and in fact, the few male actors in the film are astonishingly unattractive. They do not participate in any of the erotic goings-on and are present only as murder suspects or background wallpaper.

A few years later, Pier Paolo Pasolini would change all of this for Italy; his "Canterbury Tales," and "Salo 120 Days of Sodom" would bring handsome, fully nude (and often exceptionally well endowed) men to the screen in all their earthy glory. No longer would sex in films be restricted to interminable cheesecake shots and nauseating lesbian interludes.

This means that, had "Slaughter Hotel" been made between 1973-80, the setup and action would almost certainly have been different. The lesbian element would likely have been removed and the male actors would have been better looking. Red herrings might have taken the form of male orderlies, who likely would have provided smut appeal by (sometimes forcibly) "violating" the female patients.

Nevertheless, "Slaughter Hotel" has a lot going for it - terrific Medieval location, an abundance of Medieval ephemera, a marvelous score and a plausible plot. It's interesting to note that there are several real-life serial murders on file in the US whose motives are identical to the motive depicted in "Slaughter Hotel." Think about that the next time an Internet troll decrees that the storyline in this film is "weak" or "improbable."

Eight stars.

Hercules the Invincible (1964)

Hugely Entertaining Beefcake Fantasy

[10/10 · 2 June 2021]

Made towards the close of the great Italian Peplum films, "Hercules the Invincible" is one of the unsung gems. Leading man Dan Vadis lends his spectacular physique to the proceedings with fine results.

While many of the more "respectable" sword and sandal films revolved around historical fact (the rise and fall of ancient Rome), or Greek mythology (as in the original "Hercules" with Steve Reeves), these smaller films succeeded in creating a special magic of their very own.

This film is a wonderful Saturday matinee fantasy with color, action and an enormously entertaining commentary on what corrupt rulers of a country are like. There are some fine special effects throughout, most notably in the stone drawbridge which allows horsemen to traverse a river of molten lava.

Millennials and Generation Z will absolutely hate this movie; they have neither the attention span or the innocence to lose themselves in a charming beefcake fairy tale. Instead, they will spoil their own enjoyment by obsessing over the film's budget, dubbing and photographic effects. That's their problem - don't let it be yours. Make some popcorn, pour a glass of Orange Crush and go back to an era when it was all about storytelling and eye candy!