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The Grand Tour: The Grand Tour: Sand Job (2022)
Fitting Scenery
I've watched every episode of Top Gear a million times, and love every one. I've enjoyed the Grand Tour specials, some (Mongolia) more than others. This one felt very flat, empty and hollow; much like the location they were in. Sure it looked good and it had its moments - it was fun, it was enjoyable, it was not bad. But whatever "it" was that made the Top Gear specials so amazing is not present here.
This feels like something is off or missing, I'm not sure if it's the writing but that's what it seems like. We've seen these guys drive across Africa in modified cars before, and in much more entertaining fashion. Same goes for building rafts to take them across rivers. This time they do those things again but without any twist or personality that would make this special unique compared to the others they've done.
Did I feel like I wasted my time watching this? No.
Did I think this was bad and unredeemable? No.
Do I think this was as lifeless and barren as the desert they were driving across? Aside from a couple oasis-like moments sprinkled in, yes.
I really hope they pulled out all the stops and poured everything they had into the finale, because if it's on the same level as this was, that'll be a bitter and disappointing way to end such a magical thing.
You Are What You Eat: A Twin Experiment (2024)
Selection bias: the movie
I thought this was going to be a documentary about a fairly interesting study; what it turned out to be was insanely heavily biased vegan positivism based on bad science and seemingly bad faith. It also was pretty lacking in the "documentary" area as well, as it seemed to be to be mostly an advertisement both for veganism and for the vegan companies and owners which appear in the series.
The focus of the documentary is not on the twins and the experiment for which this documentary is named, but rather the effects of meat/processed foods on the environment and human health. However it:
1. Provides us with really no new information. Everyone knows by now that eating tons of bad quality and processed foods is bad for you. No need to hammer us over the head with it in 2024, and
2. Does not provide insight, studies, research, or really anything other statements presented as absolute fact provided by the kinds of people who have vegan tattoos. Maybe they're a little biased? Hmm.
Speaking of biased, this documentary does not provide ANY arguments for the other side. Not one. In the minds of whomever made this, and the people in it, there isn't a single benefit to eating meat. In one of the experiments they do to prove how bad our meat is, they get the most diseased looking salmon I've ever seen and try to cook it and it turns out looking horrible. Their point is that farmed salmon these days is plagued with all sorts of nasty things, but I've never in my life seen a salmon like the one they used in a grocery store or really anywhere. If they were fair they'd get several salmon to back up their claim (that something like 1 in every 25 farmed salmon in the store is messed up). Surely they didn't just get an abomination of a salmon to reaffirm their argument? Well actually yes they did do this and you can tell because you can see the another salmon in the shot, meaning they intentionally picked the worst looking one to demonstrate; this is called selection bias and is not the basis of good science or a good documentary. Also, they do not mention AT ALL how money is factor in preventing people from eating healthier, how overpopulation is leading to many of these issues, really anything socioeconomic, in the end it's just all blamed on the meat industry.
Lastly, the study itself was incredibly flawed. They give one twin a plant-based diet and the other an (healthy) omnivorous diet, have them exercise, and then measure their bodies before and after the 8-week long study and make conclusive statements based on that? They do not measure (or if they did they didn't show it) how many calories or macros each twin is eating with each meal. Surely if you're going to see how a vegan diet vs. An omnivorous affects a person, you'd make sure the calories and macronutrients are at least similar? There's no transparency at all in this study, so it just comes across as fearmongering.
I do agree with the sentiment of eating less meat and processed food. I think everyone is aware of the dangers of everything provided in this documentary now. Everyone knows they should eat healthier, and everyone knows which foods are healthy and which aren't. If plant-based meat tasted and had the same texture as meat, I'd switch immediately, and I think many others would as well; it's kind of a no-brainer. However when you present an incredibly one-sided biased flawed piece like this as if it's some sort of scientific breakthrough, really all it does is make the people involved look better.
Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact (2023)
Better than the others, but also somehow worse
I don't like Amy Schumer, I don't think she's very good at her job. However, I watch her specials in the way someone might watch a low budget B movie. I like gawking and cringing at a bad piece of media - who doesn't? Her leather special was so bad it almost came full circle around to being accidentally funny. This special doesn't come close to that. There's nothing interesting, funny, or noteworthy about this special, accidental or intended. This is the auditory equivalent of a saltine cracker without the salt. I've never heard a comedian with less energy on stage, with weaker delivery, or with a lack of jokes. This was like a live 50 minute (couldn't even make it an hour long!) podcast, rather than a standup comedy special.
No laughs were had, nor smiles. There were a couple sighs and eye rolls but that was about it. At least the leather special was so gross and off-putting it brought a little emotion out of me, even if it was to cringe/laugh at how bad the jokes were instead of at the jokes themselves. This special elicits absolutely nothing. Some of the joke premises had potential but are immediately squandered by perhaps the worst delivery I've heard from a standup comedian. It's like a living AI onstage, operating under the prompt: "be a female Louis CK".
This special is unbelievably dry, bland, drab, and has no rhythm or flow. She's just saying words. At least this time she's not talking about her bodily fluids the entire time, although that was the only thing that made the last specials interesting; otherwise this is nothing more than just dull, unfunny standup comedy.
The White Lotus (2021)
Slow Burn
I enjoyed both seasons of this show, but I can understand why people wouldn't. This show is slow, and doesn't really have a plot per se; it's about a bunch of rich people at a resort getting dinner, walking around, and talking to each other. This show decidedly feels its length, it definitely doesn't fly by. Despite this though, I never felt bored while watching. I think this is due to the fact that the dialogue is well-written and every performance is great. I really couldn't point out a weak performance from any actor in either season. While the points the writers are trying to make can get a little heavy-handed at times, I still felt like this was a very well-written show. In a similar show of lesser quality, the dialogue and performances would be over the top and corny, but this show refrains from being either of those things in my opinion. (I also appreciated that when politics are discussed in the first season, the writers make arguments for both sides). The characters are flawed in the way that real people are flawed. While some are aloof and lacking in empathy perhaps, they're not cliché rich TV show villains who are totally unredeemable, only care about material things and are horrible to everyone. It felt refreshing to me; the characters in this show feel more relatable than most TV show characters feel.
The humor in this show is also very subtle, and some of the funniest moments aren't even from jokes or dialogue at all, but come from the situation/a reaction/an expression, etc. I appreciate that this wasn't sophomoric and bombastic and although a few of the characters are fairly zany and are nearing cartoony territory, everyone still feels fairly realistic.
This feels like a relatively unique show to me, and if this is the direction shows are going in the future, I'm all for it. (I know this wasn't a Netflix show, but) I'll take a show like this over something like Kaleidoscope every time.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Udûn (2022)
Was this show written by teenagers?
This episode had the most action of any episode so far, and yet somehow I felt like it was also the most boring? This show continues to have dialogue so cliché and corny it's hard to fathom. I can't blame the actors for their bland performances. Daniel Day-Lewis and Meryl Streep couldn't deliver these lines without being wooden!
Every trope of a badly written show comes into play in this one, including plenty of Deus ex machina, characters having ludicrous plot armor, etc. If it's the most predictable contrived thing you could think of, it'll happen in this show. This show feels like a fantasy soap opera more than a serious dark fantasy show with any semblance of weight to it. It's season 8 of Game of Thrones all over again; this might be the most disappointing show ever.
This is really the best Amazon could come up with with their unlimited budget? They planned this show for years and it still feels poorly planned and not well thought out. However many billions of dollars they spent on this show and they couldn't touch up Galadriel's roots while they shot the scenes for this episode? (Not a serious gripe, just thought it was kind of funny that it's noticeable in a show with this much money behind it). Guess it goes to show that money isn't everything when it comes to creating something like this. Doesn't seem like the people behind this show are the "bump the lamp" types.
This show feels incredibly dragged out and stale already, and I can't imagine the writing is suddenly going to get better; it seems as if the showrunners went to their local high school theater production and randomly selected a couple of them to write this show. "Wouldn't it be super epic and a cool twist to have a character who was somewhere completely different come out of nowhere and stab the big scary orc in the back, saving one of the main characters at the last possible second, after the orc demonstrated he was strong enough to throw Arondir cross the street with one arm, but somehow isn't strong enough to overpower him while trying to force a sharp stick into his face!?!?!" the writers say to themselves. No. It's stupid. I predicted it would happen 2 minutes before it happened, it made me roll my eyes when it did, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. This show just doesn't feel like it was written by or for adults.
The only saving grace is how technically proficient the show is, but at this point not even that can save how bereft of anything interesting, entertaining, or otherwise substantive this show is.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Partings (2022)
Not the worst thing ever but not very good
This show so far has been all sparkle and no substance. It looks great, has good music, great production design and value, but is severely lacking in pretty much every other aspect. The frustrating part (for me) is that every episode so far has had at least one interesting thing happen that makes me go "ooh I want to know more about that", and then the other 80-90% of the episode is boring, trite, cliché, predictable, and very corny. I don't even blame the actors, who all seem capable (except for the actress who plays Galadriel who's seemingly unable to move the muscles in her face), it seems to all come down to the mediocre writing.
On a positive note, this episode had really the first scene that I can recall really feeling like I was in Middle-Earth (where Elrond is talking with the king about the tree). Even though none of what they were saying really made any sense, the setting and the dialogue felt right for the show. Other than that, every bit of dialogue was very cliché and cheesy.
This show really feels like it's more geared towards older children/teenagers more than adults, in the way the Hobbit movies were. In this episode, as soon as I saw the wolf tracks when the hobbits were walking, I said "oh the wolves are going to attack them and then wizard man will save them at the last possible second" and then about 40 seconds later that's exactly what happened. Just a lot of very basic bland unimaginative writing.
I understand this show is a slow burn and they're setting things up for multiple seasons. I understand they have to go over thousands of years worth of history and there's a lot to establish. While I understand this, this show seems to go absolutely nowhere every episode. I really don't need a big epic battle or a balrog on the screen to keep my attention. I don't need this show to copy the movies - I'm fine with a divergence in tone/story and I don't have an issue with them detaching from the lore; It just seems like nothing in this show is moving anywhere.
This show feels much closer to the 8th season of Game of Thrones than anything else, and if it wasn't connected to Lord of the Rings then I'd probably say it was worse. I know I'm not the only person who's still only watching this show because I hope something Lord of the Rings-ish that I'm actually interested in seeing will finally happen... until then, it seems this show will continue to be disappointing.